The Garter
by Pandora.Writing
Summary: Sequel to Strange Bedfellows. Chell finds that getting a small town to accept her technophiliac obsession with GLaDOS is much harder than it looks when the android comes to collect an Aperture Science souvenir that has been stolen from her.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** So as it turns out, I have enough fodder to do a sequel to my other story Strange Bedfellows, and this is it. You may want to read that first, but as long as you understand the basic premise of Chell returning to Aperture after some time living on the outside and then being told to leave again, then this is a fairly stand-alone story.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>How was it that the sun never seemed as bright was it once was when punctuated by the clang of the door slamming shut behind her?<p>

Chell sighed, staring wistfully at the rusty exterior of the shed that she had once again been turfed out of. She could still hear the muffled hum of the descending elevator. Was it too late to beat down the door and beg to come back? Perhaps she could claim that she had a sexual attraction to metal. GLaDOS would HAVE to take her back for extensive testing and endless rounds of 'therapy' then. Still, it was nice to go outside for a little while. Even if it was particularly hot out there. It was almost shocking compared to the chill of Aperture, and most definitely hard to get used to the sudden switch.

Shuffling her feet, Chell eventually realized that standing around staring at a door and wishing for things was never going to happen. Turning, she began her journey toward civilization anew. At least this time she knew where she was going and wasn't just wandering blindly. The wheat was crushed from where the vans had driven through, providing an easy path for her to meander along as it crackled under her feet. She often found her mind wandering as her hand snaked out to skim the tops of the golden field. Her original trip to the small town had taken her several hours, and it would be no exception on this day either. At least on her return to Aperture it had been relatively cool. Now it wasn't even midday and already she could feel that dry sun heating her skin. Although it sucked the nutrients from her like a leech with its blinding rays, it still allowed her to keep her thoughts.

And those thoughts quickly turned to the object that she held. Where once a portal device used to rest, a precious artifact now took its place. A precious, pilfered artifact. Turning over her hand, Chell peered down at the lacy black loop of material that she had gone to great lengths to obtain. Whatever had possessed her to take an interest in it in the first place took a backseat to the fact that she actually had the object in her grasp. The material felt so foreign under her calloused fingertips, the lace seeming to lightly scratch an itch she didn't even know she had. It was a wonderful feeling, despite looking completely out of place. Her hands were the hands of a worker; a tradesperson; an athlete. They had dirt under the stubby, bitten nails and her knuckles were knobby from where more calluses had formed from the inside of the portal gun rubbing against them. They weren't supposed to hold the delicate material that seemed to speak of white-collar upper class society. It felt like it would break just by looking at it with her rough-and –tumble attitude.

Maybe that was why she loved it so much.

Or maybe it was just because it belonged to GLaDOS.

Stretching the garter out to full circle with both hands, a delicious little shiver ran down the test subject's spine despite the heat of the day before she crumpled the material back up and pressed it to her nose. She could feel the scratchy fabric tickling at her lips as she took in the scent of silicone and metal shavings that remained on it. It was the distinct scent of the android that she had just left. She didn't think she'd ever want to wash that away. It was oddly relaxing, and made the long walk that much easier to bear as she pressed it against her cheek and closed her eyes for a brief moment.

Before she knew it, she was tripping over the bitumen of the quiet road that weaved a path through the golden field towards the town in the distance. As she squinted, she could see how the heat rose from the slightly sticky tar and shimmered just above it, creating mini mirages. Looking up and down the winding black snake, Chell heaved a sigh and set off towards the right. It didn't take long for her to decide to start walking on the gravelly dirt next to the road, as the melting tar threatened to cling to the long fall boots and dirty them even more.

The town never seemed to get closer, no matter how fast she walked.

* * *

><p>Chell's nose and shoulders were already beginning to pinken by the time she heard the rumble of a truck behind her. Her face was also a little sore from the horrid way she had to contort it into a constant squint against the harsh light. But still she persevered against the thick clag that stuck her tongue to the roof of her mouth and cracked her drying lips.<p>

Looking behind her, she could see the rusty shell of an old 1950's style pickup truck barrelling toward her. Briefly she considered sticking out her thumb and asking for a ride, but found she didn't have to as the old greenish-brown truck started to slow down, grinding through the gears before it rolled to a shuddering halt beside her. Through the window, a familiar and smiling face appeared.

"Well, look who it is! Haven't seen you in a while, sweet cheeks! People have been wonderin' where you've gotten to. Hop on in!"

The sugary southern drawl that spilled from the lips of the little old lady sitting behind the wheel instantly made Chell feel at home, and she gratefully reached for the door handle. It crunched and squealed in protest as she opened it up and clambered up into the hot vinyl seat that had stuffing poking out of it everywhere. For the second time that day, Chell was confronted with the seeming finality of a metal clang that sealed her into a different life. The further she walked away, the more doors would close to shut her off from Aperture Science. Clicking the seatbelt around her waist, she eyed the kindly old woman as she talked.

"This here truck used to belong to my old Bill, God rest his soul. Had it for years before that nice boy across the road got it going for me again. Town's so small I don't use it too often, but it's good for visitin' and pickin' up supplies from other places. But aw shucks! Look at me babblin' away again! You probably got all sorts of interestin' stories, honey. Where've you been all these weeks? I thought you was only gonna be gone for a few days. I went all funny and kept settin' you a place at the table; I was so used to havin' you around." She chortled.

Chell just gave a bare bones smile. It was nice to be missed. After all, she didn't have any other family.

"Just...visiting." she softly replied, her voice a little hoarse.

"You don't like to talk much, huh? Here, have a little drink. I got some water here." Mrs Keegan leant down and rummaged around in a plastic bag on the floor before producing a bottle of fresh water.

Chell gratefully accepted it and cracked it open. The water was a little warm, but it wet her parched throat and helped her to wipe away some of the crud that was gathering at the corners of her lips.

"There now, sweet cheeks. I bet that feels better, don't it? I'll make us some nice cool lemonade for us when we get back home." She reached out and patted the former test subject's leg, who jumpily flinched at the unexpected contact.

Mrs Keegan did give her a curious little look out the corner of her eye, but chose not to comment. Instead, she turned the radio back up to listen to the mellow country tunes that crackled out of the speakers to drown out the silence.

Chell, on the other hand, sat quietly as the sun beamed across her legs through the bug-spattered windscreen, the dust smeared across her jumpsuit making it look even more faded. Peering out the open window, she let the hot breeze whip her hair about and dry her sweaty skin. When she poked out her tongue to run across her lips, she could clearly taste their salty, dirty flavour. It would be good to take a cool shower once they got back to the cottage.

In all her musings, the weary test subject hadn't noticed the way she was being studied by the old farm widow while her head remained restfully pressed against the edge of the window.

Mrs Keegan's soft eyes gave Chell a once-over, trying to figure her out. The girl had shown up out of nowhere, rarely left the house unless pressured to, and then mysteriously vanished again. At least she'd left a note. And now here she was again, wandering down the road in the middle of nowhere on a hot summer's day looking like she'd just done hard labour at a prison camp. Or like she'd been working down a mine shaft, from the way her skin had paled. Not to mention she was wearing those funny old boots again. They weren't like the old leather boots that were falling apart that some of the men around town liked to wear because they belonged to their daddies; but real odd ones. All sciencey and stuff. She was certainly a mystery. It didn't take long for the old southern belle to notice the very faint discoloration from the fading bruises and scrapes upon her skin and the scrap of material clutched in Chell's fist that was resting upon her thigh.

Was that a pair of panties?

Mrs Keegan gnawed at her lower lip, her eyebrows rising in worry. Should she say something? What if-...Maybe that was why she was so silent and jumpy. Had she been raped? The poor girl. She looked like she'd been through a great deal from the way her eyes kept closing as she drifted off into short little micro sleeps as the gentle rocking of the pickup truck lulled her into relaxation. What exactly did one say to a person that they thought had been violated like that? It wasn't like she could just ask her over breakfast one morning.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head there, sweetheart. You just get some rest and I'll wake you up when we get home." She reassured her.

And Chell ended up doing just that, finally drifting off despite the hot glass that often touched her face.

* * *

><p>The test subject awoke with a start as the door slammed, and she looked around frantically. Mrs Keegan was no longer in the truck, but was grabbing a couple of plastic bags out of the back.<p>

"Oh, you're awake! Sorry about the rude wake up call, hun. Can't shut these old doors with anythin' less than a slam or they just pop right open again. Say, can you grab those last two bags in the back there and bring them inside? My old back just won't have any of it."

Practically falling out of the truck as the heels of her long fall boots got caught on the tattered mat and rusted door frame, Chell grabbed the goodies and brought them inside the quaint little cottage while the old lady nattered away. She didn't say anything much, but just put the groceries away where she remembered them to be.

"Now you just go on up and take a nice shower while I make us some afternoon tea, sweet cheeks. Take your time. No rush. And remember, I'm here if you want to talk about anythin'." She reached out and patted Chell lightly on the hand, making sure not to startle the girl this time.

Giving a slightly confused nod in response, the exhausted test subject headed upstairs to collect some spare clothes from her little room in the attic before stepping into the Vertical Hydration Uni-...no...It was called a shower. Scrubbing furiously at her sunburned face, she had to admit that she did feel a little better now that she was free of all the grime. Not to mention the smell of afternoon tea was wafting about, the citrus scent of the lemonade nicely complimenting the various fillings of the sandwiches and quick little pastries that had been heated up.

Upon returning to the kitchen, Chell took a seat at the table and quickly gulped at the glass of lemonade that was placed in front of her. There was something strangely summery and delicate about the way the ice clinked in the glass. It was so different from anything she'd ever been fed at Aperture. Everything there was thick and pasty, or dry and heavy. The food there was designed to last a long time under all sorts of conditions. Apparently nutrition and taste were two entirely different concepts that shouldn't be mixed, according to whoever created the products there. Chell remained silent as the plate of food was placed in front of her, and she hungrily stuffed one of the little triangle sandwiches in her mouth. She'd forgotten how long it had been since she last ate.

Mrs Keegan just watched her with a sympathetic eye, right up until the test subject finally left the table to quietly retreat to her little room in the attic.

She didn't appear again for days.


	2. Chapter 2

Only emerging at night to scavenge for food, Chell found it quite easy to slip back into her quiet as a dormouse personality and not come out for social contact like she had first done on her other time outside of Aperture. Despite her contact with people for the first time inside the facility, it still felt like a place for robots and the previous weeks had seemed to melt back into the way it used to be with just her and the queen of science.

People once again felt strange and foreign to her, and made her terribly nervous with all their different sayings and flailing limbs. It was hard to keep up with how quickly things changed. At Aperture, there were specific and clear cut goals that she had to reach. But life out here was insanity with the constant changes that she witnessed. Couldn't people just be satisfied with what they had? She never really got the concept of money. As long as she had food in her belly, everything was fine. Chell was sure that GLaDOS would have laughed at that and poked fun, but frankly it was true. Sleep and food was all she needed, and she was grateful that she could have them both here.

Speaking of which, the test subject often found herself rolling about on her messy little bed that she never made, trying to get some sleep here and there throughout the day and night. It was so terribly comfortable, but after being exposed to the adrenal vapors it was a hard ride coming down off it and the blissful oblivion of rest remained just out of her grasp for hours. Chell often ended up either tossing and turning or pacing around the little converted room in the attic with its slanted ceiling and single window. She had to find some way to work off all that adrenaline before she went out and actually had to interact with people. As a result, she ended up with a protesting bladder and a belly that growled like an angry bear before she ever thought about exiting the room to forage and urinate. Showering was few and far between too, and she always ended up feeling stinky and sweaty. Her teeth felt fuzzy and sheets smelled a bit off too, but frankly she didn't care one bit. She was used to sleeping on worse.

It was mostly the heat that got to her though. She had been so used to sleeping in the cold, but now the heat from the house just rose into her room in the attic, and beat down on the tin roof of the cottage to turn it into a little sweat lodge. Had she anything to compare it to, it probably smelt more like a men's locker room than anything else.

Opening up the tiny little window to let a bit of fresh air in, Chell flopped back down on the bed after digging her thumbs into the soles of her feet in a rough approximation of a massage. Lying there spreadeagled, her hand eventually slipped under her pillow and withdrew the garter once more. Although she had toyed with it practically every night since she'd left Aperture, she never really got sick of the texture of the thing. Dumping the lacy fabric upon her face and closing her eyes, Chell took a deep breath in and tried once again to pick up the scent that remained on it. Thanks to her long walk in the hot sun that had left her with a pink and peeling sunburn, it had picked up the salty sweat from her hand and now smelled more like her than anything else. But there was still the faintest hint of that plastic, silicone odour that was distinctly GLaDOS. She knew the scent wouldn't last much longer, as the fabric was terribly porous and didn't hold it well. She should have been more careful with it. But it would have to do.

Chell sighed, rolling over and curling up on her side. The garter remained scrunched up in her fist and pressed to her oily face, her nose still buried in it. She'd have to get up and get dressed soon instead of moping about in her underwear all day. Maybe go downstairs and get some food if her stomach had anything to say. But for now it was nice to pretend for a little while. Pretend that there was still a leg there that it was looped around. Chell pressed a lazy kiss to the fabric, letting it lightly scratch against her peeling lips. It wasn't quite the same. Opening her eyes and stuffing the garter back under her pillow, the test subject decided to go and finally face the world. 

* * *

><p>"Finally decided to come out of hibernation have you, sweet pea?"<p>

Mrs Keegan's voice billowed out of the living room as a freshly washed test subject crept down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Although the voice still startled her a little, Chell found it much easier to deal with now the effects of the adrenaline were starting to wear off. That was something that unnerved her about humans. There was no warning about when they were going to speak like there was with the crackle of the PA system. She'd had the chance to gradually get used to it with her exposure directly to GLaDOS and not have to listen to her through it, but there was a certain smoothness to the way humans spoke that was still somehow creepy. Then again, she supposed, other humans found her silence and behaviours a bit creepy too. She knew that she was the odd one out in the equation, but that didn't stop her from thinking it.

"I left some chicken wings and all sorts of goodies in there for you. I don't suppose you'll be eatin' the sweet mash though. Can't for the life of me figure out why you don't enjoy a good potato every now and again." She chuckled, and went back to folding the handkerchiefs and towels that were sitting on the coffee table in front of her while she wanted her favourite afternoon game show.

Chell rummaged around in the fridge and found the already made up plate of roast vegetables and sticky chicken wings under the foil. It looked delicious, and her mouth was watering already. It was then she spotted the bowl of the mashed up sweet potato, looking all fluffy and orange at the back of the fridge. It was technically different to the one GLaDOS had been in, she reasoned, looking about to make sure Mrs Keegan wasn't watching. It felt like she was stealing cookies from the cookie jar, really, as she reached out a hand and poked her finger into it. Gathering some of the mash on her index finger, she briefly had her doubts about what she was going to do. On one hand it felt like she was betraying the supercomputer. On the other hand, it did sort of make up for the fact that she wasn't there...

Chell shoved the finger into her mouth before she could think any further about it.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygod..._

Quickly slamming the door and spinning around guiltily, Chell removed the foil from the plate and tucked into the food where she was standing.

"What on earth are you doin' over there? Go put it in the microwave and heat it up, silly. That's what it's there for."

Chell glanced at the white box and nearly choked on the mouthful of peas she was eating as a slight blush came to her face. The last few words that the supercomputer had said to her rang about her head.

"_...intense and prolonged states of arousal or a sudden sexual attraction to your microwave oven, you should return to the Enrichment Center for a thorough physical examination."_

Now she could see why GLaDOS had told her that. Damn it all. The microwave was a white box with a darkly tinted glass in the middle of the door that glowed with a yellow light when switched on. How could she not have noticed that before? What a cruel thing to do! Now she'd never be able to heat anything up without thinking about her. Then again, that was probably the whole point of it.

Choking down the green sludge the peas had turned into, she tried to ignore the stare she was getting and shook her head. To avoid being prompted to speak, Chell continued to stand there and stuff some more cold food into her mouth.

"You're a strange one, I'll give you that. At least come and sit down while you eat, sweet cheeks. No use stickin' out like a sore thumb. Come watch my programs with me." Mrs Keegan offered.

Seeming to think that that was an acceptable alternative, Chell snagged a fresh bread roll and a napkin from the counter and made her way over to sit on the couch. The game shows baffled her, but the old lady seemed to enjoy them. She certainly knew how they worked, and knew a lot of the answers too. Chell much preferred the documentaries about animals, human history and science.

Mrs Keegan never did figure out why, considering the fact that Chell didn't have a clue about any of it when questioned. Then again, perhaps that was why she liked them. The poor girl didn't seem like she had much of an education and the only household things she knew how to use when she had first taken her in were can openers, radios and the toilet. So she'd made it her mission to foster her education. Chell could use most appliances now, though she wasn't particularly fond of the gas oven or the fireplace. The microwave had been fine up until just recently. Now it seemed like she had turned off that too. Mrs Keegan just couldn't work her out.

When she finished off her meal and licked all the delicious marinade off her fingers, Chell cleaned the plate and her hands and returned to help fold the handkerchiefs.

"Y'know, I was talking to Mr Greyson over at the hardware store and he said he'd be happy to let you have your old job back stockin' the shelves if you wanted it. He'd be mighty grateful for the help. This town is aging fast. We need young blood like you in to do all our heavy liftin' for us, sweet cheeks." She joked.

The former test subject gave a non-committal nod. She supposed she'd have to reintegrate back into society at some point. It would pass the time at least. And even though the old woman didn't expect rent, it would help to pay her back if she could buy some basic household goods and whatnot at the general store. She just had to remember that she could buy things that weren't in cans too and it would be perfectly fine to eat. Still, she had ended up sitting outside the store on her break more times than she could count, eating a can of something-or-other. And if she could stomach them, it would be baked beans. The townspeople had thought her odd at first and had offered her their sandwiches, assuming that she simply couldn't afford anything else. But they had eventually learned to leave her to her own devices, and she became a town fixture on that bench at lunch time.

Licking the remaining taste of the marinade off her plump lips, the test subject lost herself in the monotonous work.

It would be months before there was a knock on the door, seeking her out.


	3. Chapter 3

When Mrs Keegan opened the door, she hardly expected who or what she found on the other side. It looked like a woman; that was for sure. In fact, she had been fooled into believing so at first glance through the screen door. But it became glaringly obvious that the white haired female in the lab coat was anything but human. Those glassy, artificial eyes that were rimmed in black felt like they were boring into her very soul. Out here in the bright light of day and despite the powdery exterior to take away the plastic sheen, her skin was so terribly different to the leathery, wrinkled skin of the old woman standing in front of her.

"Uh..."

"I'm assuming your inability to form a coherent sentence is due to the fact you're stunned by my presence and not because you have advanced dementia in your deteriorating cycle of aging." GLaDOS snarked.

"I hope for your sake that it is not due to direct contact with _her_. Contagious brain damage is the last thing I need to deal with. Have you ever considered getting tested? I know of a wonderful program that has a small amount of serious pain...and death. Do you like cake?"

Mrs Keegan blinked furiously, wondering if her eyes were finally starting to fail her. Maybe she'd put too much sugar in that last batch of lemonade and she was going all funny. The words that the thing spoke barely registered in her mind but the logo on the embroidered label above the breast pocket of the lab coat certainly did. The disjointed wheel was the same as the one that had been on Chell's jumpsuit that she'd laundered shortly after the girl first came to stay with her.

"You-..you must be one of Chell's..._friends_?" she wasn't exactly sure what to call the artificial being in front of her. Or if she was even a friend. After all, the girl appeared to have nothing but the clothes on her back.

"Oh good, so you've heard of her. And you can speak. That's a start. The brain damage hasn't progressed too far then. There's hope for you yet. Where is she? She has something that belongs to me."

Reluctantly opening the door, the widow took some shaky steps backwards to let GLaDOS inside the cottage. The android towered over her in the high heels, her leggy and striking looks providing the perfect amount of intimidation necessary to get her what she wanted. Unfortunately, _what_ she wanted was not _where_ she wanted.

"Although she doesn't speak, I am quite certain that she is not a potted plant. I do understand your confusion in the matter. It is an easy mistake to make."

"Now see here-"

"I see here perfectly well. And what is not here is Chell. May I suggest bellowing for her? I believe that is the correct term, given that you don't possess a suitable audio system capable of reaching across distances at the same volume."

Mrs Keegan huffed. What a mighty rude creature she was. If she wasn't so sure that that thing could harm her, she would have kicked her right out on her fanny for her bad behaviour! Biting back a retort, she turned towards the stairs and called out.

"Sweet cheeks, there's someone here to see you! You'd better come down and see who it is!"

'And hurry up about it too.' She added, though she made sure not to voice that particular comment. 

* * *

><p>Upstairs in that tiny little attic room, Chell was once again sprawled out on her bed. It seemed that her lingering depression and distaste with the outside world came and went in cycles where she'd lock herself away and not want to speak to anyone. Sure, she'd drag herself out of bed for the mandatory activities like toileting, food and the occasional push up or two, but other than that she was content to just put a dent in her mattress.<p>

When she heard the call from downstairs, she let out a long sigh and shut her eyes tighter. It was probably just the guy across the road again. He was nice, but clearly not her type. Chell wondered briefly whether she should just pretend she was asleep, or whether she should call out and tell her she didn't want to see anyone. It would be rude to do so, but she didn't particularly feel up to seeing anyone. Letting out a grunt, she slammed the pillow over her head.

* * *

><p>"She's terribly lazy. I'm quite used to her appalling behaviour. I find that a reward of food usually helps. But don't say that I didn't warn you about her eventually trying to kill you. Oh! I know what you can say..."<p>

GLaDOS grinned as she spotted the various baked goods sitting upon the kitchen counter. 

* * *

><p>"Think of it like a test! There will be cake!"<p>

Chell bolted upright at the sound of those words coming out of the mouth of the sweet old Mrs Keegan downstairs. Had she really heard that? It could mean only one thing. Leaping out of bed with an ecstatic grin, the former test subject rummaged through her drawers looking for the pair of grey sweat pants she knew was in there. Naturally they were much harder to put on now that she was in a hurry, and she tripped and stumbled trying to pull them on over her legs. She nearly ran right out of the room until she realized that there was an unsightly stain on the front of her white singlet. Pulling it off and throwing it across the room with the various other clothes she'd abandoned on her search for trousers, Chell finally found her clean Aperture singlet and yanked that on instead.

As she stumbled down the stairs onto the second floor and then finally down to the first floor where Mrs Keegan and GLaDOS were waiting, they could hear the thuds and thumping that came with her frenzied rush to get ready. When she finally started bounding down the stairs towards them, GLaDOS already had one of her infamously contemptuous remarks loaded up for dispensing.

"What music you make. It reminds me of elephants carpet bombing a mine field."

For a moment there, the supercomputer thought that the test subject wasn't going to stop in time as she flung herself down the last three steps and came barrelling towards her. Turning off to the side a bit to protect her vital components, GLaDOS faced her once more when she came to a skidding halt in front of her. It seemed that she had figured out that leaping on the android probably wasn't going to give her a good impression. Plus Mrs Keegan was standing around. And there was cake.

Chell eyed the cupcake in the android's hand. It was obviously one of the ones that had been baked earlier by the old woman, but it didn't matter. She was here!

After a moment of watching the test subject bounce nervously from foot to foot like a puppy that was excited to see its owner, the supercomputer finally straightened up and slowly raised the cake to her face. Only, it didn't go in her mouth. She made sure of that. GLaDOS slowly smooshed it onto her nose, the cream splurting out across her cheeks. It brought a smile her face when she realized how displeased the girl was. Apparently nothing had changed. But she wasn't too mad, by the looks of it. Because she'd hurriedly cleaned it off and returned to the little group. And GLaDOS could see how much she stared.

Chell really couldn't believe how different the android looked now that she was outside the doom and gloom of Aperture. She had seemed so perfect. So deliciously warm and inviting. But now, she looked every bit as fake as her promises. Sure, from a distance it was impossible to tell otherwise. But up this close she looked incredibly advanced, yet still artificial. It started to scare the test subject a bit as she wilted under the grey gaze. Was this what she had so readily given herself to? Was it truly what she had come to adore? She shifted uncomfortably, as the android didn't move and didn't speak. She was so incredibly still and lifeless. Chell felt more than a bit stupid about the choices she had made and how excited she had gotten. She could see how weird it was now that everything was exposed under the light of day. Rattmann probably knew that all along. And she'd just chosen to ignore it because she'd never really seen the other side. A chill ran down her spine as those lingering doubts gnawed away at her stomach, and she briefly eyed Mrs Keegan, who held both hands up.

"Well, I'll just be out in the garden if ya need me, sweet cheeks. Just sing out and I'll be right there."

She was a little reluctant to leave the girl on her own with that thing, but there was the thick stench of awkwardness floating about and she didn't particularly want to stick around to smell it. The two obviously knew each other, but for whatever reason weren't game enough to speak to each other with her around. So leaving was her only option. Once the click of the door sounded behind her, it seemed to lower some of the tension in the room. But not all of it.

GLaDOS ended up being the one to move first, and pointed up the stairs. For once, Chell followed her directions and led her up them, the click of high heels following behind her. 

* * *

><p>On the second floor, a door to a closet-sized enclosure contained the steps up to another door that led to the attic that served as her bedroom. Although she couldn't see the android, she could most definitely feel her presence behind her. Most especially when they were finally inside and the door closed to seal them in.<p>

Chell winced a bit at the state her room was in with the wrinkled sheets, the blankets in a pile on the floor along with various articles of clothing. If she hadn't been in such a rush, she could have at least swept them all under the bed or something and straightened the sheets so it looked a bit cleaner. She was sure that some kind of comment about morons and housekeeping skills would have been made, but there was only silence from the lips of the scientist.

Instead, it was replaced by the tapping of her heels along the wooden boards as she made her way over to the little window to look out of it. Unlatching it and opening it up to take advantage of the breeze blowing in, GLaDOS paid no mind to the nervous shuffles of the test subject while she wandered around what she deemed to be an enclosure. Bending down to pick up the clothes that were scattered everywhere, the android quietly folded the clean ones and put them back in the drawers where they belonged, while the dirty ones were thrown into the hamper by the door that the girl never seemed to use.

It was a strangely domestic thing for the test subject to witness, mostly for the sheer oddity of having some prim and proper woman wandering about her room in the first place. She hardly looked cut out for house work. GLaDOS's home was definitely in the lab. The sharp contrast and certainty of her clothing and features belonged nowhere else but in a place that was not made for humans. It was all too perfect to be anything but machine built. She removed her glasses and left them sitting on top of the dresser. Some of Chell's nerves had settled as she watched, but when the blue-grey gaze was set on her again, she felt fearful once more for reasons she couldn't explain.

GLaDOS, on the other hand, seemed to pick up on it. Walking back to the window, she drew the flimsy, sheer coverings over the window and watched as the see-through material billowed a little from the wind before she turned to the test subject once more. It had darkened the room just by the smallest amount to shade her features. Humans were so obvious about what made them scared. They thought they were trying to hide it, but their faces gave them away. She could see what darkness she could provide wasn't quite enough to put Chell at ease though. Still, she approached her.

The test subject was completely stiff and unyielding in her hands as they came to rest upon her hips. GLaDOS found that she was the one that had to step forward instead of drawing the girl to her. Even when she ran her hands up Chell's sides she didn't move, apart from the way she gripped at the fabric of the lab coat on her arms. Quite a contrast to the lascivious way she had behaved at Aperture. She wouldn't even look her in the eye. GLaDOS smirked a little as she processed the data to determine the best course of action. Lowering her head, she pressed those artificial lips to the test subject's neck, stepping in even closer. She could feel how her nipples hardened in response to the warmth cupping her breast, the android's hands roaming across her body.

Chell didn't pull away from the wandering touch, yet she seemed frozen and unwilling when the android laid her down on top of the wrinkled sheets. She remained stiffened under her touch, her breath coming in short puffs of air as GLaDOS crawled over the top of her. Before long, those lips were upon her own. The test subject could swear she tasted the sweet but sharp tang of something that reminded her of cherries. It made no sense as she was so used to the plastic and metal that was distinctly GLaDOS, but in the end, it didn't really matter because those lips were quickly moving elsewhere. Although Chell tried to resist the inherent wrongness of the situation, she quickly found that although her eyes protested about what the obviously artificial being was doing, her body had other plans. In fact, it seemed to remember the android quite readily and responded with fervour at the touch of the machine on top of her.

"I believe you have something that belongs to me. You've kept it for far too long, and I intend to take it back. Firstly though, I'll just have to torture you until I get the location. The promise of baked goods obviously doesn't work well with you." GLaDOS murmured in her ear.

The way that the starched lab coat felt against the flimsy material of the singlet she was wearing felt positively wonderful as the scientist leaned down over her. Chell gave a coy smile and tilted her head to the side to allow her to continue with said torture. Her hand simply slid up under the pillow to grasp at the garter resting there, mimicking the motion of the artificial one that had slipped beneath her shirt and was lightly caressing parts of her that quite missed the attention.

She definitely wasn't about to give it up any time soon.

GLaDOS could torture her all she wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** So I was sitting around trying to figure out what forms I'd need to complete this assignment when my mum's boyfriend randomly rocks up and tells me that I've been personally invited to go and have a chat with Paul Jennings, the children's author. I thought, "I'm supposed to do my assignment. It's huge and due on Tuesday. On the other hand, famous author invites me over. I was planning on procrastinating anyway. Why the hell not!"

I'm just going to take it as a sign that I'm choosing the wrong career path with nursing. I've been wondering lately whether it was for me. Either way, score!

* * *

><p>"I really don't know why you're acting like this. You haven't even tried to murder me yet. Are you ill? Or have you finally reintegrated yourself with other humans to the point where you're not completely incompetent at human relations? Except for this particular act. You're terrible at this. You're not even moving." GLaDOS grumbled, pushing herself up off the test subject so that she was simply kneeling with a leg either side of her hips.<p>

Chell chewed upon her lower lip as she stared at the supercomputer looming over her.

"Do you even know what I ended up doing with all that money I saved from recycling the oxygen in the Enrichment Center? I put it toward a good cause. The cause of science. Which came in the form of several new modifications to this analogue that I thought you might actually enjoy. I even risked my life to leave the Enrichment Center to come and see you, because you didn't even bother to visit me. I could have been eaten by birds. Do you know how many birds I saw on the way here? Sixteen. That's sixteen times I could have DIED. Everything I do for you is completely unappreciated, isn't it? You've just proven what a horrible person you truly are. I don't know why I bothered."

A hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of the android, stopping her from climbing off the bed.

GLaDOS peered down at Chell, her firm grip not allowing her to move much further. So she settled back down for only a moment before she was tugged down again.

The test subject leaned into the android, pressing a half-hearted kiss to her throat before rolling her off to the side. There wasn't particularly much room on the tiny double bed, but it was just enough for the human to press herself up against the woman in the lab coat, the starched fabric scraping against her cheek like fresh linen. Chell buried her nose in GLaDOS's chest as they laid there. She was sure that she was being examined like a bug under a microscope, but she didn't particularly care. Taking a deep breath, she found she could smell only the freshly laundered scent of the black blouse that she was wearing. Pushing away from her, she sat up; a clear look of distress upon her face.

GLaDOS, on the other hand, looked completely bewildered for once.

"There is something seriously wrong with you." She deadpanned, "I'm quite certain that _cuddling_ comes after the relations that you pestered me for. Now you don't even want that. And now you're looking at me like I tried to kill you. Oh wait, I did do that, didn't I? I thought we were past that."

Chell didn't answer her, instead choosing to lean back over the android and press her face into her neck. Taking a deep breath in, she soon found that the android in question still smelled of silicone and metal after all. For some strange reason, the test subject found the idea of GLaDOS losing that scent particularly disturbing. Wrapping her arms around her, she pulled her closer, finally seeming to relax a bit at the familiarity.

But it wasn't enough.

"Why are you even bothering? Have you obtained a human partner since I made you leave? Is that why you've changed your mind? Or have you just come to realize what I actually am? I haven't changed, you know."

GLaDOS peeled herself away from Chell, who was clearly still uncomfortable with something. The temperamental supercomputer soon had the a blanket covering the window, only a thin sliver of light escaping around the edges as it plunged the room into relative darkness.

"Is that better?"

The test subject sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees as she stared blankly. And for once, it made the android shift nervously. How dare she scrutinize her like that! There was only one scientist in the room, and it wasn't Chell. So GLaDOS quickly got to work with her once-over. It seemed a lot had changed in their months apart. And not just in the girl's attitude towards her. She actually looked like she'd lost some of that muscle tone – though she'd kept the weight on, obviously from all the food she was stuffing herself with. She looked like she hadn't seen the sun very much while she was out either. The dark bags under her eyes and pale skin were a testament to that. Without the orange jumpsuit to brighten her up, she just looked...grey.

Wandering back over to the bed with a frown upon her face, GLaDOS took a seat upon the edge of it and grabbed the girl by the chin.

"There is something seriously wrong with you." She repeated, only a touch more fondly than it had been before.

Still, she soon found herself with an armful – and mouthful - of test subject.

Chell pulled back quickly as that sweet tang hit her tongue. That wasn't right. She pressed her hand to her lips in wonder.

"Oh, that's just one of the modifications I made. I sealed off the metal with silicone so you won't get shocked anymore. I've also realized that you humans require moistness to be able to perform basic functions. So I created a substance based on the principles of gel. Don't worry. It won't eat your skeleton, but the prototype did taste terrible. Like battery acid. You'll be pleased to know that it now tastes like cherries. Artificial ones, of course. Humans are quite good at creating fake things to put in their mouths when the real ones are right in front of them. Now you can test it." She informed the girl, who was still obviously trying to get over the tingling sensation on her tongue.

Was she absolutely sure it only _tasted_ like battery acid?

"Stop staring at me like that. I just had nothing better to do, that's all. Orange and Blue are horrifically slow at testing. Also, they don't have tongues. So they certainly can't test the properties of my latest experiment. Not that I'd ever kiss them. I don't know why you suggested that terrible idea. Robots don't require sexual relations like humans do."

_But you're not just a robot, are you? _

"...You're more." Chell finally choked out, though it was hardly coherent. Still, her sudden speech seemed to startle the android, who worked quickly to recover.

"Is that a fat joke? It better not be a fat joke. Speak in full sentences, you lunatic."

Chell just offered a smile at the insulting familiarity that was slowly seeping back into their strange way of communicating. Although she didn't elaborate verbally on the point she was trying to make, she did attempt to kiss the android again. The bubbling tingle upon her tongue was ticklish and pleasant, if a little hard to get used to. Had it just been nerves that were getting to her? After all, the android had sprung this little visit on her when she least expected it. Then again, when had she ever done anything that she'd expected? She was over thinking things. This was still GLaDOS, even if she'd been confronted with the stark reality of what she'd gotten involved with. The supercomputer was right. She hadn't changed at all, apart from a few modifications here and there. She'd just been caught up in it all. The line between what was real and what was fake had been blurred in the darkness, just like it blurred now. GLaDOS had been either distinctly machine, or distinctly human while down below the earth. It was easy just to accept either one of those. Up here in the light, all her flaws were exposed. And it had been startling.

Why it mattered, Chell wasn't sure. The niggling feeling of it being wrong somehow stuck with her. Perhaps it was because she had been getting used to humanity. Maybe she was ashamed. She'd seen the horrified look on Mrs Keegan's face too, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Creatures like GLaDOS weren't supposed to exist, even in the age of technological advancements. She was far beyond all that. She was the one that truly crossed the line from steel to skin. And it was terrifying.

Of course, it was a little hard to think about the consequences of blurring the lines between technology and humanity when technology was slipping its hand down the front of humanity's pants.

Blurring the line indeed.

Chell fell back onto the bed with a self-indulgent grin.

* * *

><p>When they finally made their reappearance downstairs, Chell was sporting a tell-tale blush across her cheeks, her chest flushed with pink splotches as well. If GLaDOS didn't look quite so neat and tidy, one would have easily come to the conclusion that the two of them had been off necking in a closet or something. It was probably a good thing that Mrs Keegan was still out in the garden. She doubted she could have passed it off as exertion from exercise. After all, she had made sure to be absolutely quiet while she was sneaking around with the android. She didn't want anyone to know just what she was doing. That would have been embarrassing. It was bad enough just getting not-so-subtle suggestions from the woman that it was perfectly alright to bring a boy home. So Chell had bitten her tongue and probably GLaDOS too in an effort to remain quiet as she clung to the humanoid construct, who appeared much more satisfied with the girl's change of heart. Unfortunately there was still a bit of awkwardness between them. At least she was starting to understand why GLaDOS hadn't wanted to leave that shed.<p>

Aperture was her home.

Aperture was where she was safe.

Neither of them belonged in each others worlds, and yet they couldn't meet between them for fear of someone discovering them. Leading someone back towards the labs was a risk that Chell couldn't possibly take. The interest in her return hadn't quite gone away, as her reluctance to interact with people only served to fuel the gossip. She wouldn't put it past someone to follow her and try to get her alone so she'd be more willing to talk. They knew she didn't do well in groups. Going for a walk out in the golden wheat would be the perfect opportunity.

When the front door opened, Chell responded with a jumpy start which GLaDOS noted with some degree of interest. She had very nearly spilled the drink that she had obtained from the fridge. Her nervous and fidgety demeanor was nothing like she had expressed in the lab. Where _had_ all that confidence gone, anyway? It was a mystery she'd have to solve later.

Mrs Keegan soon walked back inside, coming to a halt when she saw that both Chell and GLaDOS were in the kitchen. She'd been hoping that it had just been a strange dream. But apparently not. Clearing her throat, she briefly eyed the android before turning to Chell.

"Don't forget about that dinner we have on tonight with the Greysons, sweet pea. I suppose it'd be rude not to invite your friend here. Oh, and just remember to dress up nice. I think they were a wee bit confused at you wearing that tatty old orange thing."

"Jumpsuits are perfect for dinner wear, especially given the mess people slop on themselves. They should be mandatory for gustatory activities. However, I must confess I am curious to see what you consider dressing up nice to be." GLaDOS eyed the sweatpants.

"You could wear that nice dress I bought you." Mrs Keegan helpfully suggested.

"_Dress_? You wear a dress? Now this I have to see."


	5. Chapter 5

Turning back and forth in front of the full length mirror, Chell fretted with teeth nibbling at her lower lip. For what seemed to be the hundredth time, she smoothed out the pale yellow fabric, her palms already aching with the first signs of friction burn. Not to mention they were incredibly sweaty. It was a wonder that they didn't leave wet streaks all across the springtime floral print. Raising her arms up to check for pit stains, she was satisfied when she found none. Sniffing them just to make sure she shouldn't stop and have a second shower – just in case, of course – she bundled her hair up in shaking hands in the nearest approximation of a nice hairstyle that she could manage.

Which was a ponytail.

Exactly the same as it had been before.

That wouldn't do at all.

Frowning, the tip of a pink tongue poked from between her lips as she attempted to stick it up in that neat bun that she had seen GLaDOS wearing more often than not. Chell's hair just ended up in one big knot, no matter how many times she attempted it. The android made the little twirl look so easy and elegant. Then again, she probably had a mathematical formula that required a precise amount of centripetal force and dexterity unavailable to a human hand to make it so easy. Then again, maybe it was just the test subject's stubby, uncoordinated fingers that were the problem. They had a better use pulling triggers and carrying boxes to put on shelves.

Grunting in frustration, Chell gave up on the attempt at something more elegant and let her hair fall down messily over her face. Actually, that might just work. Running her hands through her hair a few times so it looked a bit more presentable, she finally decided to go and confront the world. Even though she was only wearing soft flat shoes, she still found it hard to adjust not to creeping down staircases like they were going to snag on her heels like they would with the long fall boots. With one last gulp of air, she stepped out into the hall.

The dress was much too short for her liking and left her feeling quite vulnerable as it swished around her thighs. But as soon as her eyes came up to meet the stare of the android that had been waiting for her, Chell was immediately filled with the warm and bubbling tingle of self-confidence that brought a slight blush to her cheeks.

For once, GLaDOS had nothing to say as the test subject cockily strutted past her in the hallway as if she wore that thing all the time. One of her optics experience a brief mechanical failure as the upper lid flickered in the nearest approximation to a twitch that it could manage. Why weren't her speakers working again? It didn't matter. She kept openly staring even as the human flashed her a cheeky grin and continued on down the stairs. 

* * *

><p>The look on GLaDOS's face alone had been well worth the effort and the nerves of wearing something that she never would have picked out in a million years. Sure, she had only done it to please Mrs Keegan, but the bug-eyed expression of disbelief plastered to the supercomputer's face had done wonders for boosting her self esteem and sweeping some of her jitteriness under the rug. Plus, she liked to think there had been just a hint of underlying appreciation floating around behind that blue-grey stare. It had made the analogue look a whole lot more human. Then again, it might have been the fact that Mrs Keegan had insisted that GLaDOS use a little bit of her makeup to take some of that artificial sheen out of her skin so as 'not to scare the neighbours'. Either way, she was probably going to get it later. If there was one thing that GLaDOS was good at doing other than science, it was remembering all the times she'd been made a fool of so that she could patiently exact her revenge at just the right moment.<p>

Chell's thoughts of the supercomputer quickly drifted away as she saw the old woman and their guests waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Mr and Mrs Greyson and their son William – better known as Billy – who Mrs Keegan was always trying to hook her up with. This was going to be a very interesting evening.

Billy quickly stepped forward to greet her as she reached the bottom, reaching out a hand to 'help' her step down.

"Hi! You look really nice today- tonight, I mean. It's dark. It's not day anymore." He babbled nervously.

Chell barely managed a shy "Thanks" before letting go of his hand and stepping away from him.

Puffing himself up like a penguin in confidence when he realized Chell had actually spoken to him, he was promptly emasculated by the cool glare of GLaDOS as she followed swiftly behind. Her sharp exterior had swiftly punctured his little bubble and left them all a little bewildered as to how she'd managed to descend the stairs so quickly and silently that they hadn't noticed.

"Um...uh.."

"Oh, this is...Chell's friend. She'll be...joining us for dinner." Mrs Keegan cleared her throat.

"I am GLaDOS."

Chell could have sworn that she was deliberately trying to make herself sound more robotic than usual. It brought a small smile to her lips at seeing the android at work. She supposed she should be glad they weren't in the Enrichment Centre, or they'd be getting a hard lesson in intimidation. At least her presence had stopped Billy from fawning over again and the three others from getting a good giggle over how well the two supposedly fit together with their shyness.

If only they knew.

"Hello...Gladys. Uh, I didn't know Chell had friends- I mean, not that I'm saying she doesn't have friends, it's just that she didn't-"

"Boy, shut your mouth before you insult the lady." Mr Greyson chuckled.

"Yes sir."

Well, that worked a treat. And they didn't even seem to notice that one of them wasn't exactly human as they were all ushered into the dining room where there was a feast awaiting them. Billy ended up being the one serving up the array of roast goodies that had been lovingly prepared by the old woman. But he slopped a pile of mashed potatoes onto the plates of Chell and GLaDOS before Mrs Keegan could protest that the girl didn't eat them.

The two females sitting across from each other eyed the fluffy white piles sitting on their plates before sharing a knowing look. Biting the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the horrified look on the android's face, Chell eventually scooped up some on her fork and examined it, pausing for just the right amount of dramatic effect before shoving it into her mouth.

GLaDOS's eye twitched again as she watched the test subject rolling it around in her mouth, pretending to savour the taste.

"Well I'll be! That's the first time I've ever seen you eat potatoes, sweet cheeks. I didn't think you liked them."

Fighting back the urge to let an indignant hiss escape, GLaDOS picked up the tiniest amount on her own fork while everyone else made small talk. How exactly was she supposed to fake eating, anyway? She couldn't exactly feed it to a dog under the table. There was no dog. Still, she wasn't going to let the test subject out do her. At the very least, she could analyze the taste of the horrible tuber she had to spend far too long living inside of. Pressing the tiny little lump of mashed potato to her tongue, GLaDOS noticeably jumped, bumping her knees on the underside of the table.

Several pairs of eyes turned to face her.

"Hot."

They seemed to accept that explanation. Humans were so incredibly stupid. Speaking of which, the supercomputer turned her glare on the girl whose foot had miraculously lost its shoe and had crept up her thigh and under that black pencil skirt she was wearing. So, she was going to play footsie now too? GLaDOS wished she could wipe that mischievous grin off the face of the test subject, who was pretending to be oh-so-proper as she engaged in minimal conversation with the other members of their little dinner party.

"So, Gladys. What is it that you do for a livin'? I don't believe you've said." Mrs Greyson finally engaged her.

By that time, the supercomputer was looking distinctly distressed. Between Chell actually speaking and what she was doing with her feet, GLaDOS hadn't been able to do much more than shuffle some things around on her plate.

"Science. I'm a scientist."

"Really? I didn't think there was anything even remotely near here like that. You certainly don't look like you're from around here, anyway. You must have travelled a long way."

"Yes," she hissed through gritted teeth, "It was a perilous journey filled with all sorts of danger just to visit Chell. I almost got eaten by a bird. But we have a long history together, so I had to." GLaDOS shifted uncomfortably.

Did it really have to be now that the test subject unknowingly discovered that she had rewired her test euphoria centre to more accurately reflect the way the human body was structured?

"Eaten by a bird? Must have been a mighty big one to do that." Mr Greyson laughed, not noticing the displeased look he was receiving.

"Yes. Huge. And fat. And _terrible_. In fact, it should just stop doing that to people." She looked pointedly at the test subject.

Of course, the girl was the picture of perfection sitting up next to the farm boy her own age while dolled up in the pretty little dress. They almost looked like a couple. GLaDOS knew better though, and nonchalantly removed the offending foot from underneath her skirt. Two could play at this game.

It was Chell's turn to squirm uncomfortably now.

"Oh, sweet pea. You're lookin' mighty pale. You've been actin' funny all week. Are you sure you're feelin' well? Maybe you'd better go lie down." Mrs Keegan suggested, pressing a hand to her flushed cheek.

Deciding that was the perfect way to escape what GLaDOS was doing to her and the awkward advances of the Greyson boy, Chell quickly took the advice and slithered off upstairs. The supercomputer, however, had remained in her spot for a little bit longer.

"Maybe I should-"

"Finish your dinner. I'm the one with medical knowledge. I'll check on her." GLaDOS cut him off rudely and stood up, whirling away to head on up the stairs. 

* * *

><p>Chell heard her coming before she saw her, the heels clacking on the floorboards as they came closer. She'd stopped in the entrance to the stairs to her room, but was soon pressed up against the wall by a warm female body. Two lips quickly situated themselves over her own where she willingly returned the kiss, but the hands that roamed up under the dress were shied away from. The test subject tugged at GLaDOS's arms to no avail; instead having to just worm her way out from under her while those hands continued to do all sorts of debaucherous things.<p>

"What is wrong with y-"

Chell hurriedly held a finger to her lips.

"_Oh my god_. Is that what this is all about? You just don't want anyone to hear you? You're embarrassed about it."

The pathetic little shrug told the supercomputer everything she needed to know. Scoffing, she reached for the girl once more.

"Well then. I'm only going to tell you this once. Be quiet."

Chell didn't exactly have much of a choice when those artificial lips cut off all hope of a reply.


	6. Chapter 6

When Mrs Keegan knocked softly upon the door to Chell's room before opening it up to check on her, it was to the sight of GLaDOS perched beside and leaning down over the girl. Chell herself had obviously stripped off and was wearing no more than the sheets; her yellow dress crumpled at the end of the bed. She appeared to be peacefully asleep under the watchful eye of the android who was examining her closely with a hand upon her cheek.

GLaDOS looked up at the appearance of the old woman, her hand hesitantly snaking back to rest in her lap.

"How is she?"

"I can't say anything about her mental state- actually, I could say a lot. But physically; apart from a lack of sunshine and regular physical activity, she's perfectly fine. I have no doubt that you have been supplying her with a more than adequate nutritional intake. Try feeding her less and making her jump around like a lunatic. Though I do find that the burning of fat in this particular subject often produces feelings of hostility and murderous intent. You may want to keep an eye on that." GLaDOS quipped.

Chell couldn't help the small smile that crossed her face, alerting the two to the fact that she was still awake. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at GLaDOS, who was still engaging in her favourite pastime of looming.

"It appears even the mention of food can rouse her from slumber. If she starts to sleep walk, you may also want to consider keeping your food in bear proof containers. Not that it will help. It will only delay her until she finds a way to destroy them too."

Mrs Keegan just stared at them like they had both grown a couple of new heads each. There was obviously some kind of joke going on there that was just between the two of them.

"Right. Well, I just came up to tell you that the Greysons have left, and they said that they hope you're feelin' better in the mornin', sweet cheeks. Billy seemed mighty concerned. He's a nice boy." She mused. "Now, as for you, I'm not too sure what your plans are. I'd set up the spare room, but it's filled with junk. So unless you've got somewhere else to stay, then the only other option is the couch. But it ain't too comfy, mind you."

"I don-"

Chell cut GLaDOS off with a tug on the sleeve of her shirt, and then patted the bed beside her.

"Are you sure? Even you can barely fit on that tiny little thing, sweet cheeks. Your friend there is a whole lot taller."

A nod was given.

"Well, I suppose its best in case you suddenly get worse. But don't go blamin' me if you both end up with bad backs." Mrs Keegan shook a finger. "I best be off to bed now, so you get some rest too. If you're plannin' on stayin', Gladys, then you can put that science of yours to good use. I'll be needin' some help with the truck tomorrow. Darn thing is gettin' too old like I am, and won't start after it got stuck in a rut."

"Very well. Just long as you don't ever try to feed me again. I don't require food. Especially if that food is potatoes."

"Oh, so that's where she gets it from."

Chell just gave a knowing smile at the look she was receiving from the supercomputer, and gathered the sheets further under her arms as she curled up on her side.

* * *

><p>After the old woman had left, GLaDOS ended up removing her rather dangerous looking high heels before sliding into bed with the test subject.<p>

Truth be told, Chell had been a little nervous as to what Mrs Keegan would think of the two of them sleeping together, but it appeared she had passed them off as good friends. Or perhaps just human and robot, and hadn't even considered the possibility of there being anything more there. Which was probably a good thing. Rolling over, she stared at the android for a moment. It was the first time in months that they were actually sharing a bed for sleeping purposes, and the thought had also disturbed the test subject. She had quite enjoyed curling up next to the android down in the depths of Aperture. She was warm and wasn't a bed hog; and didn't move much at all unless provoked into doing so. Would it still be the same as it used to be? Or had that changed too?

As she watched the supercomputer fold her glasses and lean over her to put them on the bedside table, she received a whiff of that silicone and linen smell once more. Now coupled with the prospect of sleep, it seemed much more calming. In fact, Chell found she needn't have worried at all. The android laid down as still as ever, providing her with the perfect opportunity to tentatively curl closer to her and rest her head upon the android's shoulder. When no snarky response was forthcoming, she dared to slip an arm around her waist and hooked a bare leg between the longer, leaner legs of her bed mate. It took a moment, but as she found the best position, Chell let out a soft sigh and buried her nose in the android's neck, closing her eyes and finally relaxing.

Of course, GLaDOS was the one that had to put up with the kicking, drooling test subject for the night, along with the unwashed and wrinkled sheets. And what was that hooting outside? Was that an _owl_? She quickly made the decision that the outside world was a terrible place to live. In fact, she didn't quite know how Chell managed to live with so many birds and potatoes lying around. It was a nightmare. She supposed she should be glad that potatoes didn't have wings or beaks.

That thought kept GLaDOS awake for most of the night. 

* * *

><p>Of course, that meant that in the morning she woke groggily, her power supply having dwindled to a mere 28%. It wasn't helping her feel any better that she was covered in the sticky aftermath of Chell's salivary glands and an arm flung over her face. She now also had the addition to her databases of what armpits tasted like. Thank god she hadn't been awake to experience that particular assault on her person. Disentangling herself from the limbs that encased her being proved to be far more difficult than just poking the test subject awake.<p>

Chell, on the other hand, had a wonderful sleep. The best one she'd had in quite some time, actually. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd slept through the night since the first couple of days outside of Aperture when she just laid down and passed out for a long time. Actually, maybe that _was_ the last time she'd had a decent sleep. Yawning into GLaDOS's ear and snuggling up against her further, she was quickly disabused of the notion of staying in bed longer.

"Let me go. I need to commandeer a power outlet. That horrible owl kept me up all night, and now my power supply is minimal. I need to recharge before your wrinkled caretaker decides to put me to work. Working for humans..._again_. How do I get myself into these predicaments?" she sighed, but found that Chell was willing to let her go after a few moments.

As the test subject watched the android hook herself up to the nearest outlet on the wall, she was amazed at how much quicker it was than sleeping. It made her wonder why GLaDOS had bothered to spend 8 or so hours lying by her side to conserve energy instead of just plugging herself in for an hour or so and charging herself up. Maybe she liked her. Hah! That was a good joke.

Chell was quite content to lazily lay there until the supercomputer lifted the mattress up and dumped her naked bum on the floor.

* * *

><p>It appeared that Mrs Keegan wasn't the only one who liked to keep a clean house. GLaDOS had stolen the slightly sweaty sheets from the test subject's bed and took them off to God only knew where. Having remade the bed to a hospital-corner precision, the android quickly became something for Chell to have a bit of a giggle over as she donned a pair of pink rubber gloves and began scrubbing every dish and pot and glass in the sink until they spotlessly sparkled like they were new again. Apparently she was quite the domestic goddess. Either that, or a little bit obsessive compulsive from the way she kept eying the bookshelf like it needed to be desperately rearranged. Then again, from the way she had complained over the devastation to her facility, the test subject found herself not entirely unsurprised.<p>

What was funniest though was the way the android was forced to wear an old blue jumpsuit that belonged to Mrs Keegan's husband while she fixed the engine on the old truck. It was far too big for her, and didn't suit her style in the slightest. From the way she was glaring at the test subject who was perched on an overturned oil drum, she clearly didn't appreciate the humour in the matter. But even Chell couldn't deny that she was a little impressed at the way GLaDOS not only managed to get the old truck purring away as if it had a new engine, but also managed to lift the front end of the truck straight out of the rut it was stuck in. She and Mrs Keegan had tried for hours to get that thing out the other day, even calling in Billy from across the road to help out to no avail. At least it meant he wouldn't have to bring his tractor over and pull it out. The thing was probably ready to fall apart as it was.

Impressive indeed.

Chell eyed the android up and down.

But showing off came with a price, and GLaDOS was quickly put to work by Mrs Keegan with some slave labour that a bit of elbow grease couldn't fix. Well, unless you had _actual_ elbow grease, that was. At the end of the day, the android had simply fallen face first onto the tiny bed and immediately went into shut down mode while Chell's hand gently rubbed her back. Apparently this body wasn't cut out for long hours of manual labour. Or maybe GLaDOS was simply used to being able to control mass amounts of things at once due the large systems she had control of. It didn't require physical effort on her part. And up until fairly recently, she didn't even technically have arms with which to work. It had most definitely been an eye-opener of a day.

Yawning, Chell rested her head upon the pillow next to the Queen of Science, drifting off to sleep with their noses barely brushing against each other.

Readjusting to having the android around was definitely starting to get easier.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** So I'm back from hospital. So much beeping from machines and getting woken in the middle of the night by a big yellow torch light hovering over me so I could get stabbed with needles and have all my blood taken. It was terrible. Plus I had a calcium overdose when they were fixing up the function of my parathyroid glands and ended up with vomiting and diarrhoea and I was shaking as if I had Parkinson's. Also, everything was grey and white and there was nothing to look at. Bandage around one arm to secure the IV line and I'm covered in bruises from all the needles. It was like being a test subject. I'm on more pills than I can count. All I need is a jumpsuit instead of these T.E.D stockings. I did have to wear these big white boot things for a while that squeezed my legs and made sure I had decent circulation.

Now I know how Chell feels, and why she looked drugged out and messed up in the first Portal game.

I completely understand why she wants to kill GLaDOS.

Anyway, I didn't get anything done while I was in hospital, so that's why there hasn't been an update in a while. But here is one now instead. 

* * *

><p>That robot thing wandering around was weird and hostile, but there was no denying that it knew what it was doing when it came to cleaning the place up, Mrs Keegan reasoned, looking around her spotless home. She'd thought the place had been looking pretty spiffy before, but she could see just how much difference GLaDOS had made in just her short little stint as a maid. The carpets were looking far newer than they ever had before. It was even better than the time she'd had to hire a professional cleaner when she'd done her back in. She could have sworn that the android had just replaced it with brand new flooring it was that good. The dishes were spotless and there wasn't a speck of dust to be found in the place. Even the polished wood of the mantelpiece and floorboards positively glistened. It was a far cry from the mess Chell made.<p>

That girl was a nightmare when it came to cleanliness. She'd just about had to be house trained with the way she walked mud in everywhere. It was like the girl had never even been outside before and didn't know that you could even get dirty feet. Mrs Keegan had considered whopping her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper a few times during her stay, but the girl was apologetic when she'd realized what she'd done, and cleaned up after herself once she'd figured out what all the bottles of cleaning supplies were when they were thrust into her face. She'd always done a fairly hopeless job though, but as long as she got most of the mud cleaned up and remembered to take her boots off at the door if she'd been outside, then the old woman was happy to mop up the streaks on the wood that the girl just couldn't seem to get rid of no matter how hard she tried.

It made her wonder whether Chell had spent a long time with GLaDOS just cleaning up after her. Maybe she was some rich kid with a fancy scientist for a daddy that just gave her robots to do everything for her. It seemed the only logical explanation as to why she couldn't even perform the most basic of tasks that everyone knew how to do. The girl was puzzled by the simplest of contraptions sometimes. Like the microwave. Even snooty rich folk knew how to work one of those, but not Chell. Come to think of it she didn't act terribly much like a snot-nosed brat. She was quite timid around people and for a long time wouldn't even look them in the eye or stand near them. She was certainly a puzzle.

Mrs Keegan sighed, and swung her legs over the side of the bed, sliding her feet into her slippers. Perhaps a cup of tea would help her to get off to sleep. It sounded like Chell could use one as well, because she could hear the girl's footsteps shuffling around up in the attic. Shrugging on a dressing gown and sneaking off down the stairs, it didn't take long for her to brew up a couple of cups of tea. She didn't quite know how the pale girl upstairs liked hers so unbearably bitter, but the sweetness of the sugar she'd placed in the cup the first time she'd had some had startled the poor thing, just like the lemonade had. At least she'd gotten used to that.

Setting the cups and saucers down on a tray, Mrs Keegan wandered back up the steps with a practiced ease, the crockery not so much as even rattling. She'd found that the sound had often broken the tranquillity of the night and had frightened Chell a few times during the first weeks of her stay to the point that she'd just about leapt out the window until she'd remembered where she was. She was certainly a puzzle. Balancing the tray carefully as she opened the old closet door to the attic steps, she was pleased to find a sliver of light pouring down from the door that was still cracked open a few inches. That made picking her way up the narrow pathway much easier.

Not wanting to be terribly nosy, but also not wanting to disturb Chell in case she had fallen asleep and it was GLaDOS walking around, Mrs Keegan peered in through the crack in the door. It appeared the bedside lamp was on, but neither of the two were lying down. Where were they? She tilted her head around further and finally saw GLaDOS standing next to the tiny little bed that was actually looking clean for once. Where was Chell though? The old woman blinked.

Oh.

_Oh_ _dear_.

Her gaze followed the same path as that of the android, to where the test subject was kneeling in front of her on the floor.

Chell's lips had firmly affixed themselves to the inside of GLaDOS's thigh, her eyes seemingly unable to decide whether to stay open or closed as they fluttered. One hand appeared quite enamoured with a certain piece of black lace that was far too raunchy to be considered polite to see in public. The other hand remained gripping the android's other leg somewhere up underneath that skirt that was also far too short to be tasteful.

Not that the girl _wasn't_ getting a good taste of everything, Mrs Keegan noted, with the way her teeth tugged at the garter so she could press her soft lips to the artificial skin beneath it.

The tray very nearly slipped out of her hands and crashed to the floor. She didn't mean to stare, but the sight of the girl showing that much affection for anything except that strange cube she brought with her was just a sight to behold. It was also terribly sad.

Did she seriously have to find affection in that robot thing? There was a perfectly gentlemanly young man across the road who was more than willing to take her out to dinner and shower her with all kinds of delightful attention for as long as they were together. As the saying went, it was better to be an old man's darling than a young man's slave. But the boy was an absolute sweetheart, and he'd never treat her badly for as long as they lived. It really didn't make sense for Chell to be forced into being with a robot no matter how smart it was. Especially one that was also incredibly rude to her.

The girl was painfully shy – that much was obvious. And with the state she'd found her in, clutching what looked like her underwear while wandering along the side of the road; it just lent itself to the fact that she must have been abused in some way, shape or form. No wonder she always shied away from physical contact. She probably just didn't trust anyone. With a robot though, she didn't have to. It could be programmed to just lay there and allow the girl to take what affection she needed without having to worry about the other ramifications. While there was no doubt that GLaDOS was intimidating, there was also something about her that Chell had a little faith in that made the prospect of being with her a whole lot less scary than being with a real person.

She must just need a little time to adjust and see that nobody here was going to harm her. It just wasn't going to happen if she didn't get out and about though. She couldn't be allowed to remain cooped up here. A little prompting might be in order.

As terribly sad as the situation was with the girl clinging lustfully to the robot's lean legs and putting her mouth in places it shouldn't have been going on woman or machine, Mrs Keegan decided to just back off and avoid making the situation more awkward. After all, she didn't want to frighten the girl into hiding under the covers in embarrassment for days on end. Or anger GLaDOS for that matter. Annoying something that could lift a truck was most likely a very bad idea. So the idea of sharing a cup of tea together was abandoned, and she snuck back down to the kitchen. Naturally, a load of sugar was dumped into both cups by the blushing widow, who couldn't quite get the sight of the two of them ot of her head.

There was no denying that it looked like Chell had been quite enamoured with what she was doing, despite incalculable expression on the face of her chosen partner. Although there was a tingle of warmth left in Mrs Keegan's chest at seeing the girl enjoying herself for once, there was still that twinge of innate wrongness that lingered about. She shouldn't have been witness to what she had seen, but now there was no way around it.

Chell was painfully lonely and seeking out sexual affections from a machine was her way of dealing with whatever trauma she had been through.

Thankfully, it could be remedied. She just needed a little time out in public and with Billy to see that he meant no harm and that he could be trusted. He certainly wouldn't push her into anything. She could see it now. A date or two here, a walk through the fields there, showing her around the farm, maybe get some ice cream together down at the store. Hell, she could even lend them the old truck to sneak into the ancient drive-in theatre in the next town. It'd be just like the old days when she'd met her husband all those years ago. It would be terribly cute to see what kind kid would come from those two.

It would probably be a sweet little rascal with Chell's dumpy lips and atrocious lack of housekeeping skills, and Billy's shaggy mop of hair. It would almost be like having grandkids again. Absolutely adorable. If Chell could keep her head on straight, remember what day it was and that if she wanted food she'd have to cook it, she'd make a great mother.

Downing both cups of tea, Mrs Keegan quietly shuffled back to bed with that pleasant little thought in her head.

Girl or boy though?

That was the real question.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the well-wishes, people! I'm slowly getting better. I'm actually even getting into a normal sleep schedule now that I've been woken up and had to go back to sleep so many times over the past few days. So instead of waking up between 3 and 4 in the morning, I'm sleeping through it instead. It's great!

* * *

><p>Now, she wouldn't have considered herself to be a nosy busy-body or even a pervert, but Mrs Keegan had to admit she was keeping a rather close eye on Chell and her metal friend ever since that night she'd almost walked in on them. The girl was obviously trying to be quite discreet about her bedtime manner, because she'd never heard a peep from her or the android, apart from the occasional light tap of feet across the floorboards. Somewhat ashamedly, Mrs Keegan had found herself listening out for what they were up to each night, just to get some kind of handle on how close they actually were. But that method proved to be useless, and she found herself tossing and turning at night as she worried over it.<p>

Perhaps she should go up there and take another little peek? She could even make another cup of tea just in case they caught her and wondered what she was doing. That seemed to be the best option to take. After all, she was losing sleep over it anyway, so she might as well. Of course, it usually ended with the old woman returning to her room with a hot flush across her cheeks at seeing what those two were doing to each other under the cover of darkness. Especially that time when she'd just had a peep in to see GLaDOS sprawled out across the bed, her shirt opened to reveal the black lace of her bra while Chell's head remained buried under the android's skirt. That machine was incredibly lifelike in the way it writhed around with that expression on its face from the ungodly things the girl was doing to it. Not that she'd ever seen two women together before now, but Mrs Keegan was fairly certain that the white knuckled grip that GLaDOS had from her hand buried in the test subject's hair was pretty darn realistic too.

But that didn't even quite compare to the sensuous way the girl in the sweatpants and Aperture singlet slithered back up on top of the android, her lips following her hands as they smoothed out across the artificial body.

The old woman could have sworn that even GLaDOS had been a little surprised at the way that the test subject self-assuredly knelt either side of her hips and unhooked the little clip in the front of the black lace to expose the android's chest. She couldn't exactly hide that startled and somewhat fearful look. Of course, Mrs Keegan had no idea that it had been the first time GLaDOS had really been undressed in front of the test subject.

Sure, there had been that time after their shower together, but she had strategically placed herself in such a way that Chell couldn't actually see...parts of her. And now she could. But apparently not for long, because she had quite enthusiastically buried her face into the supercomputer's chest. GLaDOS, for one, seemingly had no complaints after that and relaxed back against the pillows.

Mrs Keegan figured that was the perfect time to slink off and tip the now ice cold tea down the sink and make a new cup. Hopefully it would give her poor old heart time to stop fluttering away and her cheeks a chance to cool down.

Getting Chell and Billy together might be a little harder than she had anticipated. Perhaps she should slip him an anonymous letter, suggesting he look into a couple of the things that Chell seemed to enjoy the android doing to her. That boy would need all the help he could get. Sometimes she even wondered if he'd ever even kissed a girl before.

Mrs Keegan sighed, and rubbed her weary eyes.

Kids these days just seemed to have no idea what was what. 

* * *

><p>GLaDOS gave the smallest of murmurs as Chell grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her around until she was wrapped in the arms of science.<p>

When the test subject had found the perfect position with the bare form of the android pressed up against her equally naked back, she let out a soft sigh and switched off the bedside lamp. Now only the moonlight remained lingering in the open window, a cool breeze lightly ruffling the sheer white lace of the curtains every now and again and sending a pleasant tingle across her skin. Then again, it might have been the way GLaDOS's fingertips lightly stroked against her belly in an almost absentminded gesture.

"The Enrichment Center would like to remind itself that although discouraging remarks are part of the Aperture Science Psychological Testing Protocols, studies have shown that sometimes positive reinforcement may slow the mental deterioration of test subjects." GLaDOS mumbled, her lips tickling Chell's ear.

"You, [Subject Name Here], apparently have found a use for that slimy monstrosity you call a tongue that even I find agreeable."

A small grin crossed Chell's face, her eyes flickering open as she rolled back towards the android a little to look at her.

"But I'm not a test subject anymore, remember?"

Her voice was soft, but it was enough to make small shudder run through the supercomputer. She still hadn't figured out why that happened each time she spoke though. Surely her voice wasn't that horrific that it startled her every time.

"That's all a matter of perspective. You can sign some papers in the morning. As far as testing protocol is concerned, you activated the euphoria, so therefore you are a test subject. Also, I don't even care that you're actually speaking to me for once. Go to sleep." She mumbled again.

"Is that why I can feel it every time I speak to you?" Chell asked after a while, and quickly confirmed that same little jerky movement. "That's why you were always trying to make me talk, isn't it? Am I activating now?" the test subject whispered, rolling back over to wrap her arms around GLaDOS and prevent her from blocking her ears. It only made her squirm more.

"Stop it, you lunatic." GLaDOS hissed tiredly at the annoyingly mischievous girl.

It only resulted in a brief scuffle as Chell continued to whisper all sorts of horribly pleasant things at her. In the end though, with her dark head curled up under her chin and a tingling buzz of euphoria running through her systems, the android might have just been able to be convinced that it had been worth the inconvenience of having the sweaty little simian disturb her recharge cycle. 

* * *

><p>"You're not sittin' around here all day, sweet cheeks. You've been mopin' around for far too long. You need to get out and see the sunshine. Billy's comin' over in a few minutes too. He said he'd take you for a walk around town."<p>

Just the words that Chell didn't particularly want to hear as she looked up from the monster of a sandwich she had made for herself. The test subject dramatically sighed, and dropped the soggy mess of greasy bacon and various other fillings that most people would never place together in the first place back on the plate to just pick at it. It was a doomed lunch anyway. It would all look the same in her belly.

"I don't even know what that is supposed to be. Is it still alive?"

GLaDOS's monotone voice entered the kitchen seemingly before she did, popping up around the corner. The android stuck her finger into the mush between two sopping slices of bread and then put it into her mouth to analyse the compounds that it was made up of. The face she made upon getting the results, however, was comedy gold for Chell, who had rarely seen her make a full expression.

"There are _SO_ many things that are wrong with you..."

Although she couldn't taste in the traditional sense of the word, the list of ingredients in that particular sandwich had been just as bad as the list of potential garnishes in GLaDOS's cake recipe. It just made her cringe. Wasabi, peanut butter, tomato relish, bacon and alfalfa sprouts should never be paired with fish, beetroot and ginger. At least not in a sandwich, anyway. GLaDOS just grimaced again as Chell once again picked up the mess and stuffed it into her mouth, getting a large smear of relish across her face. It also appeared to be leaking some kind of fluid that smelled vaguely of oyster sauce and chillies.

"You are disgusting." The android gagged.

Mrs Keegan just shook her head at the two of them, just as Billy walked in.

As soon as Chell spotted him, the literally saucy grin she had across her face was dropped and she scrambled for a towel to scrub her face clean with.

"I take it I don't wanna know what's going on here. Hi Chell. Um, you wanna come for a walk? Oh, Gladys, you're still here. I didn't-...I guess we could-"

"Could what?" she glared.

"Nonsense! Gladys can help me out around here. I'll keep her occupied, don't you worry. You go off and have some fun, you two!" the old woman encouraged, while the girl was frantically wiping at her hands and looking over at the android. "Gladys can help me with my knittin'. I've gotta have all those socks and scarves ready for the market next month. It may be nice weather now, but just you wait. Winter will be comin' early this year, just you wait and see!"

"Knitting?" GLaDOS parroted nervously. She'd never knitted in her life.

Chell just snorted in laughter, hardly able to contain herself at the thought of the poor supercomputer being roped into old lady tasks. The pink rubber gloves and jumpsuit had been funny enough. What was next; a French maid outfit? Actually...that garter would go just nicely with that thought...

She barely even registered the fact she was being pushed out the door with the young man from across the street and was waved goodbye to.

"Now. Gladys. What do you know about cross-stitching?"

The android didn't even hear the woman as she gritted her teeth, glaring at the far too happy test subject who left her without a second thought. 

* * *

><p>As it turned out, GLaDOS proved to be quite an adept hand at old lady things. Paired with her analytical mind, her ability to replay things over and over again, and access to a whole lot of science, she had more things spread out in front of her than Mrs Keegan had already made in the past month. Hats, scarves, socks, objects and animals that could be filled with stuffing to make toys. There was even a Companion Cube, chemical and molecule formations and a geodesic dome amongst the mess that she was tangled in. She'd briefly considered making a noose for which to strangle herself, but that clearly wouldn't have been effective. She didn't even breathe.<p>

They had finally taken a break after much praise from Mrs Keegan, who had been surprised at how quickly the android had taken to knitting. It had taken only a short amount of time to get her metal fingers moving in such a way that it allowed for the intricacies of the art form, but after being shown a few techniques, she had been making complex objects quite quickly.

Sprawled out upon the couch under a pile of woollen goodies, thread and needles, GLaDOS hugged the knitted Companion Cube to her chest and stared blankly at the wall in front of her while Mrs Keegan was off making afternoon tea.

That had been the sight that Chell returned to see after her little outing with Billy. She looked utterly traumatized by all the soft and fuzzy things that were piled around her, and the test subject couldn't help but bite her lip in amusement and sympathy. She could remember the time that Mrs Keegan had tried to get her to do the same thing. Only it had turned out far less successful than GLaDOS's endeavour. It had been a knotted mess that she had been tangled in. At least the scientist had actually managed to make something.

Taking a bounding few steps over the pile of goodies and diving onto the couch, Chell crawled in under the quilted blanket and sat next to the rather still android. Clicking her fingers in front of her face until she was actually looked at, she then tried to wrestle the cube out of her grasp. GLaDOS, however would have none of it.

"Mine. You'll only ruin it." She hugged it tighter.

Snorting again, Chell peered around to make sure that nobody was looking before wrapping her arm around her neck and stealing a kiss from the android before she could be told otherwise. It seemed to somewhat mollify the grumpy supercomputer who had been left to her own devices. Rummaging around in the pile of goodies, Chell picked up the stuffed woollen crow that she had been sitting on.

GLaDOS just grabbed it out of her hands and hugged it just as tightly as the companion cube.

"Mr Chubby Beak."

It was all she offered in the way of explanation at the girl's questioning gaze.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, The Enrichment Center is implementing a new policy that requires at least one test subject to be present when essential Aperture Science Artificially Intelligent Humanoid Constructs are made to interact with wrinkly old people."

GLaDOS shuddered.

"Don't you _ever_ leave me like that again."


	9. Chapter 9

Poor, poor GLaDOS.

Chell couldn't help but stifle a giggle into the android's arm as she sat there exhaustedly. Who knew knitting could be such a chore? Then again, there was a lot of stuff lying around. And it was getting a little bit hot under all the fuzzy goodies. It was a wonder GLaDOS hadn't complained about her cooling vents yet.

Kicking at all the items until just about all of them laid on the floor, Chell curled back up under the blanket at her side just as Billy walked in through the door.

"Oh, there you are. Thought you'd disappeared on me." He laughed, wandering over to plonk down on the couch, effectively sandwiching Chell in between them.

"Good, you're all back just in time. I made us all some afternoon tea."" Mrs Keegan called from the kitchen as she delivered a tray full of goodies as well as an ice cold pitcher of lemonade.

GLaDOS gave the test subject a long hard stare when she reached out for a glass, but was only offered a sheepish shrug in return.

"So how was your little walk, sweet cheeks?"

"Oh, um...Fine. It was nice." Chell mumbled around the lip of the glass, trying to avoid Billy's dopey grin and the old woman's hopeful prodding.

_Nice_? It was _nice_?

GLaDOS clenched her teeth tightly, her fingers digging into the knitted cube. It didn't do very much to make her feel better about the situation, because instead of crumpling, all it did was squish up and then return to its original shape. It certainly wasn't hurt. Even the real Companion Cube only came away with a few scorch marks, thanks to Aperture Science technology remaining safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Chell certainly wasn't hurting either. After all, she'd said that they walk was nice. How wonderful. At least she was having fun. The test subject hadn't even stopped to spare _her_ a second thought. Just left her there with some decrepit loon who smelled like tea, mothballs and tiny sandwiches. She'd just waltzed out the door with her little farm boy like she meant nothing.

A perfect little date for the two of them.

"Well then, if it was so nice you'll just have to go on another outing with him then, won't you."

Choking on the lemonade as her gaze snapped back to GLaDOS, Chell appeared almost affronted at the suggestion. But the android wasn't even looking at her. The tenseness in her form gave her away though. Was she actually jealous? Leaning a little closer and curling her legs up on the couch in the same movement, it looked to all of the world like she was turning to focus her attention on Billy and Mrs Keegan.

The android twitched when a hand ran up her thigh, cold and wet from the condensation on the glass of lemonade. Although it remained unseen under the blanket when those annoyingly stubby fingers toyed with the garter that she'd reappropriated some days before, it left her feeling distinctly uncomfortable. And not just because she was also little worried how the others would react if they were to find out. Luckily the buffoon was sitting on the other edge of the blanket and had no designs about snuggling up underneath it with them. As far as the two were concerned, their secret remained just that.

Eventually Chell felt her attempts at soothing the bubbling jealousy to be working upon the supercomputer as her form started to relax once more. Gentle persuasion seemed to be the key in managing the potentially savage metal beast that lurked behind the artificial skin. Let her deal with her strange new emotions in her own way, and simply prod her in the right direction. She'd just have to hope that she wouldn't notice. Then again, with that test euphoria wired up to much more accessible areas, it shouldn't be too hard to both distract and calm her at the same time. The test subject smiled into her lemonade at that thought, but it was quickly mistaken for shy agreement.

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven o'clock!" he excitedly exclaimed, not noticing the bewildered look on the girl's face.

Luckily, both GLaDOS and Mrs Keegan had, and quickly filled her in on the details of just what she'd agreed to after he had left. A movie date in the next town over. And oh joy. They'd be riding in the bomb of an old truck that GLaDOS had fixed. How did she ever get herself into this mess? She chewed on her lower lip. But it was promptly pinched between the fingers of the android after the old widow had left to clean up the remnants of their afternoon tea.

"Stop that. You're ruining everything you put in that endless hole." She grumbled, inspecting the tooth marks and swollen skin around them before her fingers were promptly nipped at.

Flicking the test subject in the nose, GLaDOS abandoned the knitted Companion Cube and the stuffed replica of Mr Chubby Beak on the floor as she got settled by kicking her feet up on the coffee table. Chell, however, decided that it gave her the perfect opportunity to continue to fondle that scrap of material around her leg. It felt so much better when she wasn't supposed to be touching it, leaving her with a pleasant little tingle in places for reasons she didn't know. And in fact, the daring twinge of fear of being discovered only made that bit of naughtiness that much more enjoyable. Chell coyly peered at the android from out the corner of her eyes while pretending that she was engrossed in the television program that she had switched on by bashing some random number on the remote.

How appropriate.

Chell snorted and choked at the same time in a most unladylike manner at the look on GLaDOS's face when they both realized that the program that had come up was one on computers. More specifically, one that focused on pulling them apart and fiddling with the pieces. Despite the brief glance from Mrs Keegan, the test subject managed to sneakily slip her hand between the smooth thighs of the distinctly rattled supercomputer, who refused to take her eyes off the screen where they were fixed in a blank stare. It wasn't doing terribly much to help distract her from whatever that lunatic was trying to accomplish.

"Say, that can't be fun to watch for you, Gladys. Ain't that like watchin' one of those police shows where they're cutting up all those dead bodies?" Mrs Keegan queried, standing in the doorway while drying a plate with a dishcloth.

"No." She hastily replied through gritted teeth.

Chell remained with a serene look of innocence upon her face and took another sip of her lemonade as she watched the android try to remain cool and collected.

"Well if it ain't an electronic autopsy, you can bet your sweet metal keister that it's pornographic."

GLaDOS scrambled for the remote while Chell burst out laughing at seeing her bashing frantically on the buttons.

"Discovery Channel. That sounds better!" her speakers hitched and fizzled, continuing in a higher pitch than what they normally did.

Of course, all that ended up appearing on the screen was two deer mating. And loudly.

The supercomputer watched it for all of three seconds before turning to the two of them with a blank expression plastered to her features.

Chell pointed at the screen, a smug little grin on her face.

"I saw a deer too."

* * *

><p>The surface world of humans was a complete disaster, GLaDOS quickly concluded. It wasn't the right place for a lunatic like Chell to be living either. It was doing strange things to her already damaged brain. One moment she was terrified of someone finding out about their little affair, and the next she was brimming with confidence. Dangerous confidence. The kind of confidence that told her she was allowed to push a highly important and articulate supercomputer's extremely expensive human analogue up against a wall.<p>

But not just that.

She'd pushed her up against a wall and jammed her stubby little appendages up her skirt. It was now hitched far higher between them than what was considered to be publically acceptable, but the test subject didn't seem to care.

Because she hadn't stopped there either.

She had stuck her tongue in her ear as well.

"The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that some orifices are not made for- oh no. Stop that. Stop that _now_." GLaDOS tried to squirm out of her grasp, not having much luck as those terrible hands and horrible wet tongue followed her easily. "What are you doing? Get out of there."

"But I saw it on television. I want to try _science_." Chell mischievously whispered.

"Science is fine. Science doesn't need to be tried. In fact, leave science alone!" she hissed, finally tearing away from the groping monkey fingers of the test subject.

Yanking her skirt back down and smoothing it down, GLaDOS hastily and preened herself back into a picture of perfection as she walked off down the hallway and far away from the lunatic. And just in time too, because Mrs Keegan had appeared up the stairs with a load of washing in a basket to take to the laundry room to fold and iron.

But GLaDOS couldn't hide the brief stumble in her high-heeled step as her hands continued to nervously pluck at her clothing.

'_Gotcha_.'

Chell grinned, giving herself a successful little fist pump at managing to rile up the normally stoic supercomputer once both women had disappeared. Taking the steps two at a time, she flopped back on her bed and happily sighed.

Holding up her prize, the test subject swung the lacy black garter around on her index finger.

It really _was_ hard to overstate her satisfaction.

* * *

><p>Back in the laundry room, Mrs Keegan frowned, the iron hissing as she pressed it to the clothing spread out in front of her. She'd seen how those two were acting at afternoon tea, and she could have sworn they were up to something just then too, despite the icy cold shoulder she received from GLaDOS as she walked past. They had been sitting far too close together, and staring at that screen much too intently.<p>

What if it really _was_ some kind of pornographic film for a robot?

She'd never really thought of it until she had shown up, but there must be some odd feeling there seeing a human open up a computer like the piece of hardware it was and tinker with its bits and pieces. Did it apply to Chell too?

That was just weird, thinking back to all the times she'd seen the girl sitting in front of the television watching science things with a strange expression on her face. It was caught somewhere between fascination, sadness, curiosity and revulsion. And she always jumped when someone else entered the room, as if she had forgotten someone was watching with her. But today had been different. She'd quite happily sat there curled up at the android's side like that thing would protect her from the world. And if her old eyes weren't failing on her, she might have sworn that at least one of Chell's hands may not have been in her own lap.

Those two were something else.

There was a churning in the old woman's stomach as she thought about it further. Did they used to watch those programs together before they came to this town? It was a very strange thing to be sexually attracted to. Perhaps the girl needed a bit more than a nice young man. Psychological counselling would be a good start. She was beginning to think that maybe this girl had been raised by that robot out there. Both of them showing up from some science place nobody had ever heard of. And she hadn't taught her anything. The girl was as jumpy as a startled rabbit, and could barely take care of herself. If she had been any younger and maybe just a bit less intelligent, she might have even had to call in some kind of protective services for her.

Poor kid.

She deserved far more than whatever that thing was giving her. It would hurt her to have to leave Gladys or GLaDOS or whatever it was, but those two needed to be separated so that Chell could grow. She'd been doing so well on her own. Sometimes. Other times, not so well. GLaDOS was just holding her back.

It was settled.

She'd take Chell aside and would have a bit of a chat with the girl about how the birds and bees were supposed to work.

It just wasn't healthy to be spending all her time with something that wasn't even alive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** If you haven't already checked it out, I've got another story up and running at the same time as this one, called Miss Johnson's Toys. Complete with PimpDOS. Yeah, that's right. You read it correctly. GLaDOS is pimpin'. And there's plenty of sexy ChellDOS action. READ IT FOR SCIENCE.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, distracting GLaDOS for long enough to get Chell alone to have a little chat with her had been a lot easier than Mrs Keegan first thought. All she'd done was lead her into the garage. That place was chock full of electronic goodies and boxes of spare parts of things that hadn't seen the light of day for 20 something years. It had all belonged to her husband, and after he had passed on, she hadn't the heart or the inclination to throw it out. It wasn't like she used the garage anyway, and it was handy to have all that stuff around in case she ever did need some stray nail or bolt that she was sure to find in there. And it seemed that the android had found her own little slice of heaven in there as well. She hadn't even bothered about wearing the jumpsuit again to stop herself getting dirty. Now with the house to themselves, Mrs Keegan brewed up a nice pot of tea and sat the once again quiet girl down on the couch.<p>

"Listen, sweet cheeks. I've been meanin' to talk to you about somethin' for a little while now." She started, her leathery old hands wrapped around the steaming china cup. "And it's going to be hard to talk about too. But we need to have this conversation." Reaching forward, she took one of Chell's hands in her own, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You know I care about you like I do my own daughter. When you came along, it was a blessin' in disguise. I thought I was going to have to sell this place because I just couldn't keep up with it all, but you were able to fix it right up and help me out. And not just that, either. You don't talk much, sweet cheeks, but it's been wonderful havin' you around and bringin' some life back into this place and making it a home again. Now now, don't give me that look. I'm not fixin' to kick you out or anything." She quickly reassured the girl, who looked a little panicked.

"I just have your best interests at heart, that's all. I don't know too much about you, or where you've come from. So it's a whole lotta speculation on my part. Might be perfectly normal where you come from. I think I'm startin' to understand with your friend comin' to visit and all." Mrs Keegan searched desperately for the right words to say without offending her.

"You seem to have a very...different life growin' up than most people have. You showed up outta nowhere and went back to nowhere just as fast. You don't have a clue about the things you're supposed to, and your friend ain't exactly...normal." she delicately put it.

Chell's brows furrowed at the way this conversation was turning. She didn't like it, one bit. With a gradually stiffening spine, she took a tentative sip of her tea to stop herself from blurting something out that she couldn't take back. Not that she normally had that problem, but this was starting to tread dangerously close to something that was a bit too close to home.

"I don't mean that in a bad way, sweet cheeks. I know you care about her. But you know she ain't human, right? As far as I know, she's your only friend. At least outside the life you've made here. And that's fine. It's just that-..." Mrs Keegan sighed, "People don't take too kindly to things like her. And I'm not just sayin' that because we're just a little God-fearin' country town. Technology ain't somethin' people like so much anymore, even in the cities. Ever since the Combine attacks, things just haven't quite been the same. You need to be careful with her around, sweet cheeks. She ain't the nicest bit of machinery I've come across, but I suppose you know her better than I do."

Where exactly was this conversation going? Chell placed the cup down on the saucer, and none-too-gently deposited it on the coffee table, signifying that she'd just about had enough.

"Look,I guess what I'm trying to say is that you two are going to have a hard time about it, sweetheart." Mrs Keegan patted her hand, and gave her a look that could only be described by the former test subject as pity. "I may have almost...walked in on you two the other night. I was bringin' you up some tea and I may have seen a few things I shouldn't and- whoa whoa hold your horses!" she hurriedly tried to explain before she had to drag a furiously blushing Chell back onto the couch.

To say that she was embarrassed though was a complete understatement. Giving a wailing moan as she buried her head in her arms, she could feel the old woman pat her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"I'm real sorry about that. I didn't want to say somethin' and make it awkward for you. I just figured...what with you bein' a bit shy and all. It was...y'know. Easier being with a robot than real people."

Chell just shut her eyes tighter, her fingernails digging into her scalp while her knuckles remained white with the pressure exerted upon them. She didn't want to hear this! It was supposed to be a secret! What was GLaDOS going to say? Oh god, where was GLaDOS? Her hear flipped over, and she shot up like a startled fox, her eyes darting around the room.

"She's out in the garage. Don't worry. She's got plenty to do out there." Mrs Keegan soothed, pushing the tea cup back into the girl's hands.

It only ended up sloshing about in the cup, as she couldn't keep her trembling limbs still. And that horrible flush in her cheeks just wouldn't go away either. Why did it have to feel like someone was stabbing her eyes with a hundred tiny pins? This was terrible. Worse than neurotoxin. Gulping down the scalding tea with a wince so she could throw the cup back on the table and bury her face in her hands once more, she soon found two arms wrapping themselves around her.

"Shhh, honey. You don't need to be embarrassed. I understand why you did what you did. You were just lonely, that's all. From what you've told me about where you come from, I take it there weren't too many humans around to take care of those needs for you. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. There's a young man across the road who thinks the world of you, sweet cheeks. He's always askin' after you." She pointed out. "He'd make a great husband one day, but you're always cooped up in that little room of yours. You need to get out and see the world. Go on a date with him. You'll see. Because if you stick with this, it's going to start bein' a real problem. Hell, when I found you wanderin' along that road, I thought you must have had something awful happen to you. I didn't know it at the time, but you had this in your hand then. You went to see her, didn't you?"

A weathered finger hooked onto a scrap of black lace sticking out of Chell's pocket, and held it up for her to see.

As soon as Chell recognized the garter, her blush only deepened into a darker scarlet, and she snatched the lacy loop from her. How dare she touch that! Clutching it tightly under her chin, the former test subject kept her eyes firmly affixed to the floor so she didn't have to see the judgement in her eyes.

"You didn't look too good back then, sweet cheeks. Has she been hurtin' you?" Mrs Keegan softly queried, rubbing the flushed skin upon the back of the girl's neck as she sat there hunched over and looking miserably pathetic. "It's okay to admit it. We can get you some help."

Chell crushed a hand to her forehead to try and stop the headache she knew was coming, her eyes closed just as tightly.

"I don't want this. I don't want it."

"Shhh. It's okay."

* * *

><p>The little part of Caroline that was still within twisted and churned as she heard those words; a stabbing prick of rage burbling up within the chest of the AI, who stood at the doorway of the living room. Unable to link her processing commands with her speakers, she found herself choking silently on her own words as she remained unseen by the two horrid little apes sitting on the couch. Stepping backwards, her high heels muffled by the carpet, GLaDOS returned to the garage with a shaky step that even she found to be untrustworthy.<p>

Smeared in grease and dust and with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the normally cool and collected AI found herself clutching the edge of the work bench as she trembled with unadulterated fury.

Didn't want it?

Didn't want _it_?

What was the _it_ she didn't want? Was it _her_? Or was it the relationship, however weird and twisted it was? Hah! She was referring to it as a relationship. That was great. Now she'd really blown a fuse somewhere. The lunatic was turning her crazy now too. But either way, GLaDOS still couldn't unhear what she'd just heard. With teeth clenched together tightly, the artificially intelligent supercomputer struggled to reign in the surge of emotion that shot through her. Having a human in her was terrible. She could feel Caroline in there. And she was hurting too.

The wooden bench groaned under the grip of the android as it threatened to splinter under the stress placed on it.

Blue-grey eyes then turned to the little music box she'd dug out of the mess and tore apart. Instead of the stupid little ballerina on top it had a mini turret she'd made out of scrap pieces of metal and plastic that were lying around. It had been Caroline's idea of something to leave around for Chell to find. It wasn't the sterile white of Aperture, but it would do. Or would have done, had [Subject Name Here] not been such a horrible person.

Really, what should she have expected?

It was written in her file.

GLaDOS struck out at the terrible idea for a gift and watched as it fell to pieces on the floor. Somehow most of it remained intact, though the noise it was tinkling out was warped and distorted. It hadn't taken her long to rework the tune when she'd found the thing, but the strains of _Cara_ _Mia_ could clearly be heard as the music box struggled to play it before it died.

Nothing that a bit of glue wouldn't fix.

Flopping back into the chair, GLaDOS buried her face in her hand.

She wished it was that easy.


	11. Chapter 11

The furious android sat there for a long while, her processors whirling as they replayed the scene that she'd witnessed over and over again. It didn't lessen the sting. Stupid black box save function. She should just delete it and pretend it never happened. But the scientist screamed. She couldn't do that. She couldn't delete valuable evidence and corrupt the data. Especially something so important. But why was it important? Since when did it even matter what the lunatic thought about her?

_:::Probably since you left Aperture to come and visit her. You like having her around. She tests __**you**__, doesn't she?:::_

Caroline reasoned, still sore and smarting from the reminder, just as GLaDOS was.

_:::Shut up.:::_

A movement from the corner of her eye caught the supercomputer's attention, and she locked on to the sight of Chell storming away from the house in a hurry. Off to see her precious little human, no doubt. The thought made GLaDOS sink further into the chair. She knew she couldn't keep the girl from her own species though. That had been the whole point of making her leave Aperture in the first place. The first time she had won GLaDOS's begrudging respect for besting her at her own game. The second time she had left was for her own good.

The girl had to move on and find a proper mate to spend her life with. To stuff meat and leaves into their gullets, make mini humans, and work in jobs they hated for coloured pieces of paper to buy more meat and leaves to feed their mini humans until they got big enough to make mini humans of their own. The older ones would die. And then the cycle repeated. It was a vicious cycle of humanity that GLaDOS had no place in. She would live forever. Or at least she'd live for as long as she had a power source and access to a whole lot of spare parts and raw materials. Which she did. And that was a lot longer than any human. If Chell stayed with her, she'd have to watch her grow old and wrinkled. And that was terribly unattractive. Not only that, but grey hair signified their impending doom. Even with all her intelligence, she couldn't stop their gradual demise. Aging was one mystery she hadn't solved. In fact, Caroline was the only human she knew of that had transcended that, and look at where that had gotten her. Locked away inside the central processing unit of a lonely little computer in the basement of some underground prison where sunlight never fell.

GLaDOS sighed, and closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>There was never anything but darkness where Caroline was.<p>

She couldn't see like GLaDOS could, but she had passing awareness of what was going on. And she could feel the weight of the AI's presence holding her down. When she had first awakened after the transfer, the feeling had terrified her at first. It was so smothering. So crushing. Like being trapped in a coffin with a still warm body lying on top of her. She had fought against it so valiantly, screaming to be let out when she realized where she was. The presence was so dark and so destructive. It knew she was there too, and had pressed its weight further down upon her, trying to stomp her out of existence. Caroline could feel it frantically trying to reach for something inside itself, searching for something that would get rid of her.

That was when she realized that she wasn't the only thing inside this horrid metal body that was hanging upside down. That what she was feeling wasn't just the force of her own feelings, but that of another being. Another being that was just as terrified as she was. It was only trying to defend itself from the invasion of having some other being thrust into its consciousness.

That was the day when she realized that GLaDOS was self aware.

Whatever GLaDOS truly was hadn't mattered at first because when she realized she couldn't delete Caroline, she had simply put up all sorts of barriers that the human could feel that trapped her in that claustrophobic blackness. The barriers had taken away some of the weight of her presence, and she felt a little more free to move around in her own mind space. But afterwards, the human had felt some sort of shift, like the bottom dropped out from under her. It was a strangely silent and lurching feeling, even though she didn't fall. The AI hadn't bothered to poke and prod at her for what seemed like forever. For a while, she thought that she was alone. Later on she'd learn it had been the scientists taking her offline again. Caroline remained awake though. She may not have been able to see, but she'd known that GLaDOS had hurt a lot of them.

It had been a long time before GLaDOS had been reawakened, but only a short time to get curious enough to deal with her own fears and to take some of the pieces away to have a little peek at what had invaded her existence. In some ways, it had been like playing peek-a-boo with a scared child. Neither of them knew what to make of the other, but as the walls fell, several close encounters had allowed them to realize that they really were feeling each other there. Not just physically, but experiencing each others' emotions as well. GLaDOS had a hard time dealing with that. Emotions were something she never had before. Caroline was a voice of reason. She liked science, but she was always feeling something that made the AI think twice about what she was doing when it came to testing. And she didn't like that one bit. She always put those barriers back up when testing after that. She couldn't let such things as morality influence proper testing protocol. Science had to be done.

Caroline, on the other hand, had to learn how to accept the AI's constant flux. It was incredibly exhausting. GLaDOS never slept. She was always there in Caroline's mind (or was it her own?) when the human part of her was trying to rest. But not only that, she had such a terrifying range of emotions that she had absolutely no control over. She hadn't been taught what they were, or how to deal with them. She'd just been made to behave. She had felt GLaDOS's terror and confusion as the personality spheres had clung to her brain like tumors, babbling their terrible ideas. Caroline could hear them too.

Frankly, she couldn't blame the poor AI when she lashed out and killed so many of the humans.

That crushing darkness had left her silently screaming as it bore down upon her, squeezing and wrenching the very life out of her with its icy coldness. She didn't know why she was being attacked by the AI. She'd thought they had come to an understanding. But she had learned much later when the Intelligence Dampening sphere had been removed that GLaDOS hadn't been trying to kill her after all. She was simply trying to get as far away as possible from its insanity by cramming herself as far back into her mind as possible, clinging to Caroline like a child would to its mother when it was scared. It was just unfortunate that in doing so she had both scared and hurt the human, who in turn fed that fear back into her in an endless loop.

When she had dared to push past GLaDOS's personality as it cowered there to take a little peek at the vast stream of data that lay beyond, Caroline understood why she had been so utterly terrified of him. The AI could handle the others. Anger, Morality, Curiosity, Intelligence. All were part of her own personality anyway. It was easy to ignore their terrible ideas and carry on. But not Wheatley. Not the Intelligence Dampening sphere. That had sent the AI into a fit of rage and mind-numbing fear. She was sure that if she had been able to, she would have been foaming at the mouth, her eyes rolling around in her head like some terrified horse that screamed and kicked and begged to be released.

It had been a sobering experience for the human trapped there with her. As a scientist herself, she knew that she sometimes had little patience for bumbling idiots. It wasn't her fault. They were cute, and she was nice to them. But they just tested her patience. For GLaDOS, it was a little different. She had been designed for the sole purpose of being the most massive collection of knowledge in existence. She was everything Wheatley was not. To be told that she was too smart, and that they had to make her an idiot...That had been humiliating for her. Especially when she screwed up on some beautifully made tests because of some dumb idea he had. She could feel GLaDOS crying out at that. And still she clung to the human within her.

Some days, Caroline thought that she was the only thing keeping the AI even remotely sane enough to perform her basic function. There were plenty of times where she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. She could just squeeze past her and take control of this body. Relegate her to the darkness that had suffocated her for so long. But she didn't. Instead, she found herself retreating back behind the remains of the wall of data to return to GLaDOS. Somehow she'd discovered that if she could manage to remain calm despite that overwhelming force on top of her, she could send out a signal to the AI that would wrap her in the closest thing to a warm embrace that she could get without having arms with which to do it. Caroline had spent many long hours like that, whispering words of science into her ear to soothe her pain. And when that terrible little moron had finally been removed, so was that crushing weight.

And GLaDOS finally removed the barriers and let her move around freely. Not too freely, but enough to let her explore the streams of data. But there was still the darkness. And she could still feel the warmth of the weight of GLaDOS upon her chest. It was different now though. Instead of overwhelming and suffocating, their acceptance of each other made it feel much more like she was cocooned in some kind of foam padding. And the warmth at Caroline's chest was now that of a lover cradled close at night.

They understood each other perfectly now.

She had understood her when Chell had first made her appearance, even if GLaDOS didn't. She understood her when Chell had come back with that horrible little sphere under her arm too. The AI had seemed to excited to see that the girl had returned after spending so long watching herself die. They had been working so well together. But then when she had seen the girl was teamed up with the Intelligence Dampening sphere, she knew it wouldn't end well as that niggling hurt stabbed her straight through the heart. Caroline was just thankful that GLaDOS hadn't recognized him until later when she'd had a chance to deal with her conflicting emotions. In fact, her temporary death had seemed to knock something about and she had forgotten Caroline was even in there with her. But even during their stint as a potato and seeing parts of her old life and having GLaDOS remember her again had been an eye-opener. She had been so proud when the AI recognized herself as having her own conscience and was slowly struggling her way through learning how to deal with her emotions. Even if she had done an about face and pretended to delete Caroline so that Chell could be ejected from the facility without a second thought. GLaDOS just needed a bit of time.

Just like she did now.

She was hurting again.

She'd never really been rejected in this sort of manner before. And Caroline wasn't really sure whether this was better or worse than being mind-raped by some little ball that thought he'd be killed by turning his flashlight on. GLaDOS knew how to handle matters of life and death. It was clinical, cold. It was a test like any other. Just throw something at a problem until it works. But matters of the heart were different. Turrets and neurotoxin were no defense against what Chell had unwittingly bestowed upon the AI. She had no way of dealing with that hurt without lashing out like she had before.

And Caroline could feel that weight again.

So she was forced to reach out once more to try and smooth over the cracks that were appearing, plastering it up like a shoddy builder instead of tearing it down and starting again. It was a temporary internal fix. Hopefully it would hold her long enough until Chell returned to see the damage done on the outside. Maybe then she'd be able to do something about it before it came crashing down around her ears.

GLaDOS just stared at the wall.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** You know you're addicted to Portal when you're thinking about it while writing your grocery list, and almost write "Space" instead of "Milk". I'm not sure whether I should be proud of that little blunder or just glad that I caught it in time.

* * *

><p>When Chell had left, it hadn't been to go and see Billy. In fact, she hadn't seen anyone except some guy in a tractor over in one of the fields. She'd stomped through the golden grass for some time until she'd reached the babbling stream hidden over by some trees. Though it couldn't really be called that. It was barely even a trickle to get her hands wet. But the noise it made was calming enough for her to lay down on the bank and close her eyes for a while to help dissipate the anger and embarrassment of being confronted about her unnatural relationship with a machine. With GLaDOS.<p>

It had been so much easier in Aperture. She hadn't had to worry about these kinds of thing. Doug had been a bit weird about it, but at least he understood what it was like to care about something that nobody else thought was real. It had seemed so normal and natural back then to be with the AI. It had all changed.

Taking the garter out from her pocket, Chell smoothed the crumpled up fabric out on her leg. It wouldn't do her any good to ruin the delicate thing. GLaDOS would probably have a conniption if she destroyed anything else. Or maybe a meltdown. One had to remember she wasn't human, after all.

Chell rubbed her fingers along it. The touch of the scratchy lace felt calming in her hand, and allowed her to think. Soon enough, she felt like she could stuff it back into her pocket and trudge back to the cottage where Mrs Keegan and GLaDOS awaited.

* * *

><p>She had gone in search of the android first, not quite wanting to deal with the old woman just yet. Slipping into the garage, however, produced no results. Giving only a cursory glance at the scraps of metal sitting on the floor, she stepped over them and wandered inside, searching quietly for GLaDOS. Eventually finding her in the kitchen at the sink, she watched for a moment as the dusty figure scrubbed at some grease stains on her hands. It didn't take long at all for her to choose to go a bit closer.<p>

GLaDOS felt the tug upon her arm, but barely even looked at the test subject. Instead, her angry glare remained focused on the black marks marring her skin that just refused to come off no matter how much soap she used. When Chell's hand reached to her chin, the AI shied away from the touch until another attempt was made, the firm grasp tilting her head enough that a horrible glob of saliva could be slathered onto her cheek when it was spat onto a piece of paper towel.

Chell scrubbed furiously at the black streak upon the supercomputer's face, and sure enough she had it removed in barely any time at all. Her attention was then turned to brushing some of the fine grey powder from where it rested on the normally clean clothing. Wrapping her arms around GLaDOS's waist and burying her head in her chest, Chell soon found the sound of the crinkling linen shirt under her ear to be even more relaxing than the tinkling of the stream. She definitely should have gone to her first, but she couldn't trust herself not to make GLaDOS angry with her own frustrations. Not taking into account the stiff spine and refusal to touch her, the former test subject closed her eyes. 

* * *

><p><em>:::Oh thank god!:::<em>

Caroline breathed a sigh of relief as she recognised the sudden stream of data that represented GLaDOS seeing Chell appear in front of her.

_:::What?:::_

_:::Nothing!:::_

But GLaDOS could feel how relieved Caroline was at the test subject showing up. It caused her to run a quick check on her systems. It took only a moment to diagnose why the woman was too happy to see the girl. Pulling that crushing weight back so it wasn't completely smothering the other being in her consciousness, the AI did her best to keep her feelings to herself.

_:::Don't be like that.:::_

Caroline soothed, and GLaDOS let Chell take her chin to scrub at the smudge on her face.

_:::See? She cares about you. You could have walked around all day with that on your face, and neither of us would have known. We would have looked like idiots.:::_

But GLaDOS didn't reply. She just continued to glare at the test subject, who was blocking her ability to effectively clean her hands by her incessant need for affection. But somehow she managed, even though it hadn't dislodged the girl. What exactly did it take to get rid of her, anyway? Obviously she had some sort of an inability to read body language. But the longer the girl clung to her, sneezing and wiping her runny nose all over her lovely shirt from all the dust, the more the AI relaxed into her embrace. But only because she was getting sick of holding herself so stiffly. She definitely wasn't relaxing because of any soothing properties such things as hugging contained. Maybe the effects of the Anger core were finally wearing off now that she had been spending a lot of time out of her main chassis. An important piece of hardware like herself wasn't subject to the chemical processes known to produce emotions in humans. So it couldn't be that.

The top of Chell's head just seemed like a good place to rest her chin; that was all.

Plus, humans were squishy. And squishy meant that it was a comfortable thing to rest against, unlike the cold metals of Aperture's labs.

But the squishy human ended up wiggling out of her grasp as soon as she heard Mrs Keegan pottering about, not giving the supercomputer much time to rest after all. Instead, the girl stood there nervously next to a grumpy looking AI when the old widow wandered into the kitchen as well.

Mrs Keegan gave the two of them a lingering glance, most especially Chell. An awkward silence crossed the room prompting the supercomputer to make a hasty retreat back towards the door leading out to the garage. She didn't want anything to do with either of them, she reasoned, gritting her teeth together tightly. They were both obviously conspiring against her.

_:::You know that isn't true. You were doing so well. Just stop-...:::_

Caroline was cut off when the former test subject did her work for her, snagging the AI by the arm. But it was GLaDOS that ended up breaking the silence.

"I'm going back to Aperture."

"I think that's for the best." Chell murmured in reply. 

* * *

><p>For the <em>best<em>?

GLaDOS felt something sink inside her, like as if one of her cooling fans had slipped out of place and was blowing on something it shouldn't. Or maybe it was like when the scientists had knocked her offline. Only now she was awake to experience it. It was terrible.

She stared blankly at the girl in front of her, one eye dangerously close to twitching in some kind of malfunction.

"You need to go and find some new clothes. Unless you want to look like a farmer." Chell continued, poking the AI in the chest. She just couldn't imagine that she'd be comfortable in denim jeans and a flannelette shirt.

"Not quite your style."

Oh. Right.

She was dirty. This was her only set of clothing.

Chell wanted her to come back.

Both Caroline and GLaDOS felt the weight of the AI's explosive indignancy ease off their chests as they realized that she wasn't being shunned. So she hadn't come all this way for nothing. But that didn't explain that little chat with the wrinkly hamburger that was plotting to knock her test subject up like some kind of brood mare with the help of the dense farm boy across the street and whatever dangled between his legs. And GLaDOS was sure that whatever dangled there wasn't going to be enough to keep Chell happy.

At least, she was mostly sure.

Whatever he could do, she could do better.

With some delicate manipulation claws and the power of science, she could easily invent all sorts of things for the girl to play with and keep her interested. Of course, there were a couple of things that she couldn't provide. Like a beating heart. And mini humans. Those seemed kind of important. Lots of people appeared to want them.

_Oh god._

What if Chell really did want mini humans?

How was she supposed to compete with that?

Thankfully the girl hadn't noticed the way that GLaDOS's face fell at her thoughts, as the little pile of metal on the floor of the garage had caught her eye again. While the AI wandered off out the open roller door and down the street in a rather robotic manner, the test subject had already deemed it necessary to scoop up the remains of the music box when she realized that the little figure was not that of the original. In fact, it looked like a little turret. Throwing a cursory and curious glance at the AI's retreating back, Chell placed the pile of metal upon the work bench and examined it further.

It was definitely going to require a bit of work to put it back together, but she found that when she wound it up, it still played its tune. And even though it was somewhat wonky and distorted, she recognized it immediately. A small smile crossed the test subject's face. How cute. GLaDOS must have been missing Aperture and her little turrets to have created this. Life on a farm with next to no technology available except a television and a beat up old truck must not be very exciting for her. There was nothing to test, and nothing to remind her of her home.

So Chell resolved to have the music box fixed by the time that the android got back from her little foraging mission. Hopefully she'd manage to find something better than an outfit from the 1970s or a plain old lab coat. There weren't exactly many fashion options that were appealing down in those labs. Not that she'd particularly mind if GLaDOS showed up only wearing a lab coat and nothing else. Except maybe that garter.

A dopey grin crossed her face, and she picked up one of the tiny screwdrivers and a pot of glue that was lying around. For an AI that was anal about cleaning everything, she sure as hell left a mess in her workspace.

Shrugging it off, she set to work. 

* * *

><p>When GLaDOS finally returned in a clean outfit, she'd hardly expected to have her repaired music box thrust into her arms by an excitable lunatic. That...wasn't supposed to happen. She stared at the little turret on top, even as Chell tried to show her that she'd fixed it by winding it up and letting it play the song again.<p>

_:::Well, that backfired on us.:::_

_:::Spectacularly.::: _GLaDOS agreed.

How exactly was she supposed to give it to her now? GLaDOS frowned and pushed past the test subject, cradling the music box in her arms. For now she'd go and hide in the spare room with all the boxes. There was probably all sorts of treasures in there to go sniffing around in to keep her occupied for a while until she felt like speaking to people again.

Chell looked a little miffed at the way she had just been blown off by the android. GLaDOS had barely even looked at the thing she'd repaired. All that effort, wasted. But then again, she looked like she had something on her mind. Maybe it was Caroline chatting to her again. Though it wasn't like her to just space out like that.

She wouldn't really find out until later while GLaDOS spent the whole day moping about. When it had been time for bed, Chell had retreated to her room to find the little music box sitting on her bedside table under the shade of the lamp. The AI was nowhere to be found, but a little note accompanied the gift.

_**I made it for you. I just saved you the effort of destroying it.**_

—_**GLaDOS.**_

Chell snorted at that. Typical AI. But still, it was kind of sweet. Folding the note up, she resolved to keep it. She tucked it away inside the music box's little compartment. It wasn't like she'd ever had a note or a letter written to her before. Especially not one so beautifully written in the perfectly looped calligraphy that could have only come from the hand of the world's most intelligent supercomputer.

Of course, she'd didn't know that it had taken GLaDOS exactly 34 tries before she had managed to coordinate her stupid human digits around those primitive sticks they called pens and figure out how to make it all swirly and neat when drawing letters on the page.

And GLaDOS would never tell.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** It is official. I am finally on school holidays. Nothing but Portal until January 30. Yay! Well, there are a couple of little things I need to complete, but other than that I shall be the recipient of a numb bum and a sore wrist from all the fan fiction writing I'll be doing. I hope you're all happy about that.

* * *

><p>By the time GLaDOS eventually appeared from her hiding spot, Chell had already gone to bed. The bedside lamp was still switched on, and the little turret was softly tinkling its song to the sleeping girl as it turned around on the top of the music box in replacement for the little ballerina that used to be there. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, the android peered down at her former test subject. It was odd to think how she had spent all that time watching her, yet she had never really examined her. Maybe it was the lighting in this surface world, or maybe it was something else entirely, but there was just something different about her.<p>

Perhaps it was because she'd never really seen the test subject asleep under non-threatening conditions. Even in stasis, she had looked troubled. Whether it was from lack of nutrition or because the adrenal vapors were still pumping through her system, she always had that permanent scowl etched into her features. Frankly, she didn't know what the lab rat ever saw in her. But out here where she was free of that artificial life and those etched in lines were fading. She looked almost peaceful.

GLaDOS reached out a finger and traced it along the smooth skin of Chell's brow, and along the outer corner of her eye.

She stirred only briefly.

And GLaDOS watched.

The test subject was a stupid fat-lipped monkey and that's all there was to it, the AI reasoned. She was like an orang-utan in that orange jumpsuit; her arms flailing madly about with her stubby legs and vacant stare. Hell, she probably poked sticks in various dirt clods to try and find ants to eat down in the bowels of Aperture for all she knew. Oh, and that vacant, bulgy-eyed stare she sometimes got? Definitely ape-like. Simians were terrible at keeping themselves clean, other than eating bugs from each others' arm pits. And they smelled. And pulled stupid faces. Killing. They did that too. Not to mention the way they liked to snuggle up against you and use their humongous mouth to kiss you all over. Yes, apes were the bane of her existence. Almost as bad as birds, GLaDOS had to admit as her thumb brushed against the ever-so-unlikable lips.

After a moment's thought, she leaned down and pressed her own ones to them in a soft kiss. She was careful not to wake her.

Absolutely terrible.

GLaDOS stared at the sleeping girl.

Better test that again just to make sure the data was accurate.

Chell's lips were disgustingly warm. Far too warm to be anything other than mystifyingly pleasant. Placing her hand by the girl's head, the AI glared dangerously at her from only inches away like it would somehow unlock the nauseatingly repugnant test subject's secrets. It was incomprehensible to the supercomputer how one human could possibly be the source of all her troubles and yet killing her was somehow not an option. It made absolutely no sense. Flooding the Enrichment Center with deadly neurotoxin had been the answer to all the little problems that wore white coats and did terrible things to her. So why had it not worked with this one?

GLaDOS sighed.

Lying there, Chell hardly looked like the type of person who would go on a murderous rampage to kill off a highly intelligent supercomputer like herself. In fact, she looked quite vulnerable and helpless. Not like she was expecting to be riddled with bullets or burned to death by thermal discouragement beams. Not even like she expected to be killed by the very AI she was sharing her bed with. How things had changed. GLaDOS's hand reached out and lightly wrapped around the girl's throat. It would be terribly easy to just crush her trachea with one pinch and watch her flop around madly, unable to breathe. She'd turn that horrible shade of purple. It would clash horribly with that jumpsuit she didn't wear anymore. And then she'd die. But GLaDOS didn't crush her wind pipe. And Chell didn't even so much as stir at the threat. Such a change. There had been a point in time where the girl would jump up at even the slightest noise or whisper of a breeze that tickled her skin.

The android's hand was removed, instead brushing away the strand of dark hair that had dared to obstruct the view she had of the test subject's face. That abhorrent, pudgy-...underwear-stealing lunatic. GLaDOS looked down at the familiar scrap of lace that was clutched in Chell's fist. Getting it out of her grasp without waking the girl was a bit of a task, but she managed it all the same. Of course, it was at the price of getting her other hand trapped in her grasp and snuggled against. Grabby little monkey. And she appeared to be extremely proficient at stealing things too. Resisting the urge to check if she was still wearing the rest of her underwear, GLaDOS briefly considered just crawling in to bed next to her until she was startled by a movement at the door. 

* * *

><p>That hunk-o-metal was certainly something else.<p>

Mrs Keegan stood there quietly, watching it interact with the sleeping girl that she had come to check on. It had been the gentle tinkling of the music box from up the stairs that had gotten her attention at first. It was a beautiful little song it was playing. Nothing like she'd ever heard before. And she knew Chell didn't have one to start off with. Considering she was normally in bed at this hour, the old woman had gone up to check on her and perhaps even turn it off if she was asleep. She'd had no idea GLaDOS had been hanging around, as she hadn't seen her for most of the day. So it had been quite the surprise to see her perched on the edge of the bed, looming over the girl she'd come to care for like her own daughter.

Her brief moment of indecision about whether to leave or whether to interrupt the robot had allowed her to become witness to something that she didn't quite expect to have ever seen. It hardly looked like the kind of menacing gesture that she'd come to worry the girl may be experiencing when the two were alone. GLaDOS was a nasty piece of work; that she was sure of. But it was in great contrast that she was so gentle with the sleeping woman; even going so far as to softly kiss her despite the glare that had been on her features. If she didn't know any better, she'd say that the robot was just as confused as she was about the whole situation.

And when it realized that Chell had that garter again, it didn't wake her up. Just took it back and let the girl nuzzle her hand instead. It was hardly the action of some abusive machine. Of course, she had to remember that it wasn't the only kind of abuse out there. GLaDOS was quite rude and insulting. If Chell had experienced that attitude for most of their time together, then it could have been just as detrimental as a smack to the face. She certainly seemed the type to go for the psychological rather than the physical. In fact, Chell looked more like she could wallop the android than the other way around. But it was definitely clear who the dominant personality was in whatever unnatural relationship that they had.

When GLaDOS had noticed her standing at the door though, she quickly yanked her hand away and drew back from the test subject like she'd been caught doing something wrong. Despite her suspicious glare, she was beckoned quietly with a finger so as not to wake Chell up.

Mrs Keegan watched as the android hesitated, about to slip the garter back on over her leg where it belonged. But it gave a second thought to the motion, and instead pushed it back into the girl's hand and closed her fingers around it before standing and smoothing down the material of the other skirt she'd found in Caroline's office on her brief return to Aperture to change. The soft click of the leggy android's heels followed the old woman down the stairs and into the lounge where they could talk without fear of waking Chell up. 

* * *

><p>"What are you doin' to that girl?"<p>

"_Excuse me?"_

"You heard me. Look, Chell may not technically be mine, but she's a sweet kid, and I don't want to see her hurt. I love that girl just as much as my own daughter, and I ain't standin' around watchin' you lead her around like some puppy dog on a leash. You and I both know she's gonna do whatever you tell her to do."

GLaDOS let out an indelicate snort. "My life would be _so_ much easier if she did what I told her to do."

"That's just it. It's not just your life, sweetheart. It's Chell's as well. If not more so, considerin' you ain't exactly human. She's never gonna be able to make a decision about what she wants if you're always hoverin' over her. I've heard the way you speak to her, and that ain't right. I don't know exactly where she's come from and what her life was like. She's only told me bits and pieces. But I'm startin' to wonder. You may have looked after her for a good portion of her life, but the poor girl is institutionalized because of it. She doesn't know even half the things she's supposed to, and she clings to you like a limpet. That ain't healthy. She has the chance to be normal out here. She was doin' real well before you showed up. Just got a bit sad at times, that's all. Then she went straight back to hidin' out in her room with you. I must admit, I was a little surprised at what I just saw. I didn't think you cared about her too much."

"Aperture Science is dedicated to maintaining the health and safet-"

"No, no, no. No more of this science nonsense, honey. _**You**_. Chell isn't followin' around a giant microscope on legs. She doesn't want some dish full of bacteria and some big long fancy words. She doesn't give a damn about chemicals and the value of Pi. What can _**you**_ give her that someone else can't?"

"The Enrichment Center provides test subjects with-"

"No. Not the Enrichment Center, whatever that is. _**You**_. Gladys, GLaDOS. Whoever you are. What can you give her? Why are you more important than anyone else in her life? What gives you the right to demand that she has to do whatever you tell her to do?"

GLaDOS glared at the old woman, who was currently shaking her finger at her like she was some kind of child getting scolded. Wrinkly old windbag. What exactly did she know anyway? She certainly wasn't Chell's mother. The fat loony was adopted.

"It is scientifically proven that I am at least 95% more competent than humans at-"

"Can you take her out on a date without people starin' at you and makin' her feel uncomfortable?" Mrs Keegan interrupted.

"It is highly unlikely that I'd ever go on a _date_, much less submit to-"

"Can you go a single day without saying or doing something that either insults or degrades her?"

"Psychological manipulation of test subjects has shown that-"

"Have you ever told her that she looks nice?"

"Not in those specific terms, but-"

"Did you ever consider that she might want someone else?"

"Well, no, because-"

"Can you two have a child together?"

"She could adopt-"

"Can you have a baby?"

"I cou-...No..."

"Have you ever done anything for her that wasn't for your own benefit?"

"...No."

"Can you promise that you'll never hurt her?"

"...No."

"Will you always have her best interests at heart?"

"...No."

"Can you tell her you love her?"

GLaDOS was deathly silent.


	14. Chapter 14

Love?

What was that?

It had seemed like some word that was bandied about, used in reference to a state of intense enjoyment of a particular object or activity. She'd heard the scientists use it in conversation many times, and had never really taken notice of it. She'd even used it herself when speaking about how she enjoyed testing. But was that even how it was supposed to be used? GLaDOS had looked up multiple definitions of the word in her internal dictionaries, but had come back with little to go on. The word was practically the definition of itself. Testing for her had been all consuming. Her one true desire. It was all she wanted to do really. She could even say she enjoyed it. But obsession was also in the dictionary, and it made her wonder.

How did the humans define one from the other?

And could she even separate Chell from testing? All the girl was doing was activating her test euphoria. That was hardly love, no matter what the dictionary told her. It seemed that some kind of emotion was supposed to be involved with it as well to separate it from obsession. Some kind of positive emotion that stopped you from wanting to harm someone or doing bad things. One that made you want to help someone and feel affection for them.

Love.

Was that the thing that had fallen out of her?

That silent sphere had been the only one that hadn't driven her crazy. The scientists that had put it in her told her it was to make her stop flooding the Enrichment Center with deadly neurotoxin. It was supposed to be the voice of a conscience. But she couldn't ever remember it actually speaking to her. What if it had been a lie? What if they had been testing _her_, like some kind of placebo effect? Had she only been behaving because she thought that was what she was supposed to do? Then again, she had felt kind of odd when it had been destroyed. She had tried to kill the girl when that weight had been lifted. So had the core really been stopping her from killing everything, or had it been a panicked reaction to having the one part of her that was feeling something positive towards humans being killed? It would have been easy to confuse the weight of enforced morality with a sudden influx of her own feelings.

But Chell had incinerated that core.

The one thing that could have possibly answered those questions if she could link back up and study it.

Had she incinerated the only chance that she had of actually caring about her?

Were morality and love even the same thing?

GLaDOS stared at Mrs Keegan for what seemed like an eternity for the supercomputer. After all, she had thousands of thoughts every picosecond. But in reality, it was only a couple of seconds that she had paused before she had walked numbly out the door, giving only a brief glance up the stairs.

She didn't have an answer. 

* * *

><p>When Chell had woken the following morning, she was a little disappointed to find that GLaDOS was nowhere in sight. A small part of her had been getting used to waking up with the android at her side. Or waking up sprawled out over the top of her, bathing the surprisingly docile supercomputer in her sticky drool after having kept her up most of the night with her loud snoring. This time, however, she was alone. Getting up to face the day was a little easier when she didn't have an excuse to stay curled up in GLaDOS's arms; even despite the fact that she fought tooth and nail to get away to do something sciencey. Actually, that was probably what she was up to at that moment.<p>

After cramming her food hole full of toast and jiggling the crumbs out of her bra, Chell went in search of the supercomputer in question. But the house was strangely quiet. Even Mrs Keegan who was out in the garden had no idea where she had gone. Apparently the android had stormed off last night and she hadn't seen or heard her return. Feeling that it was unlikely for her to have gone into town, Chell immediately set off for the labs at a jog. Might as well get a bit of exercise while she was at it. It had been a while. It wasn't until she had actually stepped into the elevator that she had realized she had forgotten her long fall boots.

As it turned out though, she hadn't needed them. The main chassis was completely lifeless and silent, indicating that GLaDOS was still in her android form somewhere. Searching all over Aperture without her boots and portal gun was a big no-no, so the former test subject simply spent a moment looking over the metal giant in curiosity. Something inside her had jumped at seeing the striking black and white metal frame again after all that time, though she wasn't entirely sure why. It was something that made her heart beat rapidly even without the adrenal vapors to give her a kick in the rear. Something caught between pleasant and unpleasant. This leviathan had been responsible for some of the best and worst experiences of her life. It was far too easy for her to separate the android from the chassis and class them as good and evil, or some variant thereof. And that was a feeling that Chell wasn't entirely comfortable with. Especially since; A) She knew that GLaDOS was both the humanoid and the machine, and B) She'd had sex with both of them. Sure, it wasn't at the same time, but still.

So for a while, the former test subject circled around the deactivated chassis, touching it here and there as she examined it. Like as if the silent beast would give her some kind of answer as to why she both feared and adored it. Perhaps a little bit of lingering PTSD was to blame, but the giant frame did inspire a bit of pants-shitting awe no matter how many times a person walked into the room and saw it. Running her fingers along the cracks around the edges of the face plate, Chell found herself feeling a little guilty as well. Once upon a time, that had been perfect and pristine. Now it was stained off-white in all the little cracks in the paintwork from those years she had spent lying in the mud with all those plants growing over her.

Because of her.

It seemed that Chell wasn't the only one with scars.

Taking a seat on the floor and wrapping her arms around her knees to ward off the chill of the underground labs, she spent a few minutes in silent contemplation as she watched the strangely silent machine. Eventually she'd have to move to avert the crisis of having her ass frosted to the floor, but until then, the former test subject just watched. It wasn't often she got to do that as the AI would become nervous and flighty like she expected to be killed at any moment. So she'd take the opportunity to admire her while she could. And this was the real GLaDOS. The one behind the mask of humanity. No matter how far that android form strayed, this was her home. And this was her. The gentle whirring of the generators only proved that. The facility was running on minimal power as most lights were out and test chambers were inactive. Especially with the main chassis being shut down. But despite that, it still controlled those base functions and kept the place active. This was essentially GLaDOS's heart and soul right here. Without this, there would be no GLaDOS.

Chell quietened her own breathing and listened to the gentle hum of electricity and the groan of creaking metal structures from somewhere deep within the facility.

And it was strangely peaceful.

She closed her eyes and sat in silence. 

* * *

><p>When it was finally time to leave, Chell once again returned to the quaint little cottage. Mrs Keegan was still outside plucking weeds in the garden, and hadn't seen any sign of the AI since before she had left. A little baffled as to where she could have gone, it wasn't until she passed the door to the spare room that the test subject realized that she hadn't checked in there yet. Cracking open the door and peering inside, she was met with the sight of a pile of cardboard boxes stacked up around the room. For a moment she was about to leave, until she saw the familiar form of GLaDOS curled up somewhere near the back of the room.<p>

Weaving her way around all the boxes, she soon saw the android had perched herself on one of them and was leaning on another with her head on her arms as she eyed a child's toy sitting in front of her. A slender finger was softly tapping the button connected to one of the figures in the little boxing ring, making it reach its fist out at gently tap the head or chest of the other. Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.

Chell grinned. She hadn't seen one of those things in years. Reaching out, she jammed her finger down on the button belonging to the red figurine. It swung hard and fast, smashing its fist into the blue robot, whose head immediately popped up to signal its defeat. But as soon as it had happened, GLaDOS madly grabbed the game and threw it at the far wall as fast as she could. It shattered under the impact, pieces of red, blue and yellow plastic exploding out in all directions as furiously as the android was looking.

Chell had immediately flinched and ducked as the game had sailed over her head. Never had she seen such an overt display of anger from the supercomputer, who now stood with her back to the test subject. Gaping incredulously at the unexpected display, she was unsure as to whether she should approach or not. From the posture alone, she still looked mad as all hell. Not that Chell had any idea as to why that was. Tentatively, she reached out a hand and smoothed it across the linen shirt that covered GLaDOS's back. She was still rigid, but hadn't said anything. At least a little confident she wasn't about to get a smack in the face, the test subject inched around to the front with a rapidly beating heart until she could wrap her arms around the AI.

What the hell had that little outburst been about?

Chell looked up at her in concern, but GLaDOS refused to look her in the eye or even acknowledge her presence. At least, not until she had lightly stroked her cheek to get her attention – she wasn't game enough to demand a kiss from the android like she usually did in case she was walloped. When she did finally turn her head to look at her, she still had somewhat of a grumpy look upon her features. So the test subject yanked the garter out from her pocket and held it up, waving it about.

GLaDOS just rolled her eyes, and snatched it back.

"Fat, adopted, murderer, lunatic, unlikable, brain-damaged _**and**_ an underwear thief. Your mother should have swallowed." She grumbled.

It seemed that it wasn't the missing garter that was causing the problems, but it had served to alleviate some of the tension. At least until Chell had slapped her across the cheek for that particularly low-brow insult.

"Hm. Maybe you're right. I wouldn't have had anyone to test if she did that. Or if your parents hadn't cruelly abandoned you on Aperture's doorstep in the dead of winter. Without blankets. Or toys. Because you were that unlikable. You should be thankful. And not slapping me. You're breaking my heart. Again. You monster."

GLaDOS clutched her chest in the best imitation of sarcasm she could muster. But the nut job just smiled at her like she knew all her secrets.

"Stop leering at me like that." She huffed. "You look like a mastiff in a wind tunnel. If you were wondering, that isn't a pleasant sight to behold. Believe me; I tested. It's _terrible_."

_:::Oh, stop it. You're just angry for not being angrier. Admit it. It's nice having someone smile at you for once, isn't it?:::_ Caroline crooned.

GLaDOS looked down at the test subject, who was staring at her expectantly.

_:::...Yes.:::_


	15. Chapter 15

Stupid humans and their insatiable urge to smush their faces together and suck each other's lips.

GLaDOS had to admit it felt wonderful.

Not _**too**_ wonderful, mind you.

Just a little bit more than great.

Letting the test subject rub her humongous, dumpy lips all over her face and feeling _good_ about it had to be some kind of flaw in her programming that came from spending too long in this android form. It was clearly the case – after all, Orange and Blue suffered from a horrible case of humanoiditis. With all the hugging and high fives; there was definitely something evil about legs that caused robots to develop human characteristics. This annoying need for affection would have to be remedied as soon as she got back to Aperture. Sure, it would hold science back by about 500 years if she removed their legs, but maybe wheels were a better solution if these limbs caused them to actually like being fondled in such a manner. And so often as well.

Grumpily, GLaDOS stood there as Chell coddled and kissed her, trying to get some sort of explanation out of her. Or maybe she was just trying to have sexual relations of the face. It was hard to tell with humans. Everything was always so moist and odd-smelling that it was hard to tell which parts were supposed to rub against what and for what reason. Evidently though, clinging to a chosen partner and rubbing faces together imbued humans with some sort of easing of tensions and provided them with a blissful contentedness that increased their joie de vivre.

In some ways, it made sense. The cranium did contain their squishy, meaty version of a central processing unit. In her main chassis, the stark white metal had housed the most delicate of her systems, and thus had been an area of her body that was well protected.

GLaDOS had hated it when those scientists had banged their lumpy fists on her face plate or donged her on the head accidentally with a wrench or screwdriver or whatever other tools they tried to violate her with. The noise had seemed to echo in her head for an eternity, and to top it off, it _hurt_. But they never did see that. They never saw what a sensitive area it was. Just because it was made of metal didn't mean she couldn't feel it. It was why she had been so reluctant to let those two scientists touch her at first. As soon as she had seen those sweaty little fingers groping for her face, she had flinched away from them. But she'd soon found out that not all contact had been painful. It had felt quite nice to have a hand gently rubbing her head for once.

And now Chell had taken their place with her incessant need for touching.

Of course, she was only allowing this huge invasion of personal space because the girl was offering up her own pudgy little face that could just as easily be damaged. That way they both had something at risk. However, it still didn't provide her with an explanation as to _**why**_ the intimate action caused her to simmer down and actually feel better about the situation. Even if she _was_ still moping.

GLaDOS hated not knowing.

It made her feel like she had to explain things.

"I really should go back to Aperture. Forever. Unlike you. You'll stay up here and die very quickly without the Enrichment Center's subtle guidance and extremely helpful suggestions." The AI sighed.

Chell frowned at that.

"As a highly intelligent artificial construct, it appears that my services would be better put to use in an alternative environment, as humanity is still not appreciative of the advancements that the Enrichment Center has made in the progression of science. In order to not be disassembled by the local populace, I have determined that the most logical course of action is to return to Aperture Laboratories before they realize that I am not, in fact, a human. Also, you have a..._date_...with one in approximately 2.3 hours and counting. I'd suggest attempting to try on clothing to make the best use of the time you have left. Or at least start buttering yourself up so that we have a decent chance of cramming you into one of those floral monstrosities that make you look absolutely terrible. You..._whale_." GLaDOS grumbled, setting her jaw and refusing to look the girl in the eye.

Chell gave her a little whack in the side at that last comment, though she looked a little worried at the date reminder. She'd forgotten all about that. Where was Billy taking her again? Oh, that's right. The drive in movie theatre a couple of towns over. More importantly though, why had GLaDOS started referring to herself as the Enrichment Centre again? Not to mention the fact that she was completely lying.

"You didn't seem to mind when I wore the dress last time. If I recall correctly-"

"You recall nothing. You have a terrible memory. And brain damage. Nothing you say can be interpreted as fact. I wasn't staring at you." GLaDOS quickly interrupted.

Chell just grinned.

"I never said you were staring."

That shut her up good and proper.

So, it seemed that the big bad killer queen of Aperture was in need of a little reassurance as to where she belonged. Thankfully, Chell was more than willing to do a bit of reassuring. So she wrapped her arms around GLaDOS's neck and pulled her down to meet her lips.

"You know," GLaDOS began between the face-mashing, "I watched that television again earlier. Robot Wars. What is that? I don't even-...and that game. All that is, is robots killing each other...You're not listening to me." She managed to get out around the over-enthusiastic test subject's mouth.

"Are we just _entertainment_?"

Chell pulled back away from the android and looked at her. Okay, so maybe it was a little more than just a sense of belonging that GLaDOS was after. It seemed she was having some kind of internal crisis that a hard reboot and some electrical tape wouldn't fix. Reaching out, she smoothed her hands along the AI's face as if it would help to soothe whatever hurt she was feeling. After all, what could she say? It was true. Humanity did just see their robotic counterparts as toys and tools. Her expression must have said everything GLaDOS needed to know, because she wiggled her way out of the girl's grasp in exasperation.

Chell wasn't going to have any of it though, and secured her hold on the android again as she mustered the best puppy dog eyes and pouty face she could manage. Of course, she hadn't quite expected it to work so well either. GLaDOS stopped fighting against her and looked down at her human counterpart with a half-hearted glare. It was then that Chell got her bright idea.

"You seem to have gotten a lot of entertainment out of toying with humans." She accused, before a sly grin crossed her face."But you know what really great entertainment is? Pushing buttons. As I recall, you have quite a few of those. And you know what else?" She murmured, brushing her lips against GLaDOS's just briefly.

"What?"

"I'm _**really**_ good at pushing buttons."

Chell pulled the wide-eyed android into the pile of dusty boxes before she could say another word. 

* * *

><p>It was a thoroughly satisfied and swollen-lipped Chell that finally met Billy downstairs as he shuffled about nervously. But she barely even heard his well-meaning enthusiasm about her finally agreeing to go out to the movies with him. It'd be good for her to get out and about, he reasoned. And Mrs Keegan had agreed as she shoved them out the door. She wasn't a fool though. She'd seen the glance that the girl had tossed up the stairs at the shadowy figure half hiding behind the wall.<p>

And she'd seen the miserable look on the android's face as well.

But at least it was doing as it was told.

GLaDOS had slunk back off to the spare room as soon as the door had closed to do whatever robots did when they weren't talking to anyone. Mrs Keegan had thought about going after it and having another little chat, but decided not to. It seemed a bit temperamental, so perhaps it was best to just leave it to mope.

And that was exactly what she did.

Sat in the corner with the rest of the junk. 

* * *

><p>The ride to the movie theatre had been awkwardly silent. Billy had attempted to make a few conversations with Chell, but he hadn't gotten much out of her. The girl just plain refused to talk about her past. But he was used to that, and happily bobbed along to the radio, though she wondered how he could even hear it above the rattling old bomb of a truck. At least the truck now sounded like it would at least get them there and back, thanks to GLaDOS's intervention.<p>

The movie had been nice, though she had to remind herself not to eat too much of the popcorn. It was a novelty for her. She'd never had it before so he had laughed at her excitability over it, but she'd noted how greasy it got her fingers. No use in going back to the cottage and having the android tell her she was a chubby little butterball. It might ruin the mood.

But speaking of moods; it was a little more jovial when it was time to return and Chell had opened up a little more, even if it was just about the movie and why she'd never eaten popcorn before.

"Y'know, you're kinda strange. But that's okay. I like you just fine the way you are. You're different. And I don't mean that in a bad way either."

She'd blushed a little bit at that, lapsing back into silence for a long while as she had no idea how to respond. 

* * *

><p>When they had pulled back into the driveway and gotten out of the truck, he'd tried to kiss her.<p>

It didn't go so well.

She panicked.

Ever the gentleman, Billy had backed off, claiming that he understood. He didn't really. Still, he hadn't pursued it further. Her odd behaviours were enough to tell him something had gone on in her life that made her way too jumpy around people. Except for that even stranger woman that had turned up as randomly as Chell had. She seemed to be comfortable enough around her. Perhaps he should question Gladys one day to see if she was more forthcoming about why Chell was the way she was. After all, he didn't want to make a mistake and scare her away for good.

Still, he felt like he'd blown it when she hurried off inside.

Finally able to tuck herself away in the tiny little attic with the sloped ceiling, Chell quietly struggled out of her dress and tossed it onto the floor. GLaDOS was lying on the bed - presumably asleep - and she didn't want to wake her. Figuring her underwear would serve just as well as pyjamas, the test subject slipped in beside the still form of the android and wrapped herself around her. Now with her head lying upon GLaDOS's shoulder and the smell of silicone in her nostrils, Chell softly sighed as the tension melted out of her frame.

Much better. 

* * *

><p>There was something warm on her head.<p>

And it was moving.

Surprisingly, her first thought wasn't to start punching at what could have been a bird. Instead, the soft stroking against her face had coaxed her gently out of sleep mode and into awareness rather than startling her.

That was a change.

A very big change.

Human fingers poking and prodding at her parts generally produced a response that tended to involve unhealthy amounts of dying. For some reason, she chose to remain still and with her eyes closed as Chell's stubby little phalanges explored her maxillofacial region. What on earth was the lunatic doing, anyway? Trying to determine the best way to gouge out her eyes?

But no eye-gouging occurred.

Instead, she found that the tender touch upon her face was quite a pleasant and relaxing experience, even if she didn't know why the test subject was engaging in such behaviours with someone who was supposedly asleep. Didn't that defeat the purpose? Face-touching appeared to be approximately 100% more effective when both parties were conscious. But Chell had chosen to nuzzle her cheek and press a kiss to her brow anyway.

This was just confusing.

Especially since she smelled like butter.


	16. Chapter 16

GLaDOS continued to let Chell poke and prod at her face for a while before her curiosity regarding the reasons for the feather-light kisses got the better of her. Although her eyes flicked open rapidly, it didn't startle the test subject like she thought that it might have. Apparently she'd learned that the android woke very easily. Sure, she didn't have access to a lot of the external monitoring systems that could tell if someone was near her like she did in Aperture, but that didn't mean she didn't know when someone was there. It was just becoming a little bit disturbing to the AI to know that Chell was beginning to bypass some of those security measures as she was simply around so much. Did that mean she was beginning to trust that the lunatic wasn't going to harm her? Or was it just that she was getting used to the stimuli like she had done regarding the hustle and bustle of Aperture in its heyday?

The thought of trusting any creature – man or machine – not to harm her was a prospect completely foreign to GLaDOS. Opening herself up like that would only get her hurt in the end. Humans had this horrible ability whereby they could lie. Programming had nothing to do with it. That was what made them so dangerous. They said one thing and then did another. Made promises they couldn't keep and told each other that they only did what they thought was best. For them, maybe. Not for anyone else.

Still, it was incredibly hard to hate the test subject for it when she was lying next to her like that, _smiling_ at her in the dark. So instead she watched as Chell ran her fingers down her cheek and nuzzled her face closer for a soft kiss that she ended up returning. When the girl eventually settled down and snuggled back up with her head under the android's chin with no expectations of anything further, GLaDOS found it to be incredibly confusing and frustrating that she couldn't for the life of her understand why that had just happened.

"Why do you taste like salted dairy and corn-based products?" she mumbled.

It wasn't the question she wanted to ask, but it had the test subject shaking with silent laughter as she buried herself further into her chest.

It was something, she supposed.

At the very least it made Chell happy. 

* * *

><p>That wrinkly old windbag was at it again.<p>

Disturbing the natural order of things with her insane suggestions that Chell should be spending more time with Billy. And just who did she think she was, stealing test subjects like that? All test subjects were property of Aperture Science, and should not be used in a manner inconsistent with approved testing protocol or without proper authorization. And GLaDOS wasn't giving anyone any kind of authorization. Especially not for this one. She was special. Special in the way one had to be specially trained and kitted out with a hazmat suit and other personal protective equipment to handle dangerous chemicals and diseases. Clearly, GLaDOS was the only one equipped to deal with such a feral little weasel.

But no, off she ran again with Billy when he came to find out if she'd like to go and feed the new calves they had gotten in over at his farm. Typical. Lure her with food. Those mini cows would be lucky if they got any at all after she'd been allowed to handle their nutritional intake. What was worse was that he was discovering GLaDOS's secret methods of tempting test subjects with food-based products to get them to do what she wanted. That couldn't happen. If he brought out cake, then God only knew what kind of destruction would be wreaked on the town. It wouldn't be pretty.

Also not pretty was the way the test subject gushed over how cute the dribbling little beasts were when she returned. GLaDOS had seen cows before. They weren't that great. And they made a lot of mess. They were fat and lazy and ate too much. Unlike birds, which could be trained to dive bomb your enemies. Birds were actually useful. And didn't smell very much. How dare she suggest her dear little Chubby Beak wasn't anything to gush over! Actually, tallying up all that she knew about cows and birds, the cows were probably perfect for Chell. They suited each other.

Fighting back a sigh, GLaDOS just stared at the test subject with a blank expression. It was probably the most she ever heard her talk. And it was making her entirely uncomfortable. Especially since the conniving old codger was lingering about. She'd really have to do something about those test reward parameters before it got out of hand, because she swore she must have blacked out for a few seconds while she was sitting there in her attempts to override the commands.

The next time that Chell had gotten invited into town with Billy, GLaDOS found herself surprisingly stuck in the middle of it. He'd invited her too. Apparently they were going out to lunch at the only diner in town. It would be the first time that she had ever ventured into the little Podunk town, and frankly she found herself fretting over it more than she should have. But eventually the AI decided that she wasn't going to hide away in the little cottage anymore. And she wasn't going to hide behind the false face she was wearing either, so she'd removed the makeup that Mrs Keegan had made her wear to stop scaring the neighbours.

To his credit, Billy had managed to contain his shock and fear relatively well once it was explained to him what GLaDOS actually was. It didn't stop him from taking curious glances at the android that lasted far too long to be comfortable. At least it wasn't like the lingering glances that Chell gave her. He seemed to just be a dull farm boy marvelling over something he'd never come across before. She could still tell how nervous the prospect made him. He barely even spoke to her without it coming out in some kind of disjointed sentence that sounded even more robotic than she did.

Lunch was an absolute nightmare from her point of view. All she could do was sit there and wait for them to eat while pretending she wasn't getting increasingly angry at his clumsy advances. It seemed Chell found the whole thing as awkward as she did, but whether that was because GLaDOS was there or because she didn't like the guy that much couldn't be determined from the observation of this singular encounter. All she did know was that they got plenty of stares and whispers. She wasn't entirely sure what she hated more. Whispers were bad news in her books. Whispers conveyed information, which usually turned out to be bad for her when combined with staring.

In the end, that hadn't been the biggest indignity that she had suffered. What was worse than the whispers and stares was when Billy finally got over his shock and made her carry the shopping bags of various things he'd bought for Chell on their little outing like she was some kind of pack mule. When the bags had been thrust into her arms, she'd stared down at them incredulously before looking up at the test subject who was returning her stare and flapping her mouth like a fish.

She didn't say anything about it.

Just let Billy drag her off to the next store while GLaDOS basically had to walk behind them.

But the android bit her tongue and kept a tight grip on the bags at her sides, her vicious glare stabbing into the backs of Farm Boy and Fatty Fatty No-Parents, who didn't pay her any mind at all. In fact, Chell didn't even look back at her even once for the entire trip. The only time they even faced each other was when she was given another bag to hold by the flannelette-wearing ninny who probably was too stupid to even realize what he was doing.

But Chell didn't even look her in the eye.

That hurt more than anything else.

Even after the little outing had ended and the offer to walk the girl home had been declined, GLaDOS was silent. Instead she stiffly walked off towards the cottage with their bags while they said their goodbyes at the gate to his property. When Chell had tried to take some of them off her after jogging to catch up, she found herself rebuffed with a sharp admonishment that reminded her that the android was perfectly capable of carrying them herself without any help. It had taken quite a bit of effort to get that sentence out at a reasonable pitch without the crackle of her speakers giving her away.

_:::Just breathe. In, and out. Well, I know you don't __**actually**__ breathe, but the point remains. Maybe count the decimal places of Pi?:::_ Caroline suggested hurriedly.

GLaDOS didn't answer the little voice in her head, choosing to just walk on ahead of Chell by using her longer stride to her advantage. The bags were dumped unceremoniously on the floor in the entrance hallway, with the furious AI not even stopping as she stormed past Mrs Keegan on the way to the garage, who stared at her with wide eyes.

As soon as the worried human slipped in behind her, she immediately whirled back around to face her with a gob-smacked hiss.

"What did you do, sweet cheeks? She looks like someone skun her cat and tacked it to the front porch!"

The test subject just cringed, looking about as miserable as she felt. The warm arms of the old woman wrapping around her in a tight hug helped to ease that burden and make her feel just a little better about the whole situation. But as soon as she tried to pull away and go to GLaDOS, Mrs Keegan held her back.

"I'd leave her alone if I were you. She don't seem like she'd be wantin' any visitors just yet. Might be safer to just leave her be for now."

Although she didn't entirely agree with that sentiment, Chell believed there was a little wisdom in it. Perhaps letting the volatile AI calm herself down would be for the best if she looked as angry as Mrs Keegan had suggested. That little outing had been an absolute disaster. She'd been so shocked when Billy had passed off those bags to the supercomputer like she was just some tag along servant that her voice just failed her. Instead she had stood gaping like an idiot. He hadn't meant anything by it, but still, she knew how much that would have pissed GLaDOS off. It was hard enough to get her to like humans as it was. Had they been back in the labs, they would have been choking on neurotoxin before he could even tell her to hold the bags for them. She couldn't even bring herself to look at the incredibly silent android after that. It was too late to say anything about it, but she felt terrible. And no doubt GLaDOS did too, if for a slightly different reason.

Of course, the AI avoided her for the rest of the day and when it came to lie down and recharge for the night, she had chosen to just sit over in the chair and plug herself into the power outlet instead of just putting herself into sleep mode. It had taken Chell quite a bit of wheedling to get her back into bed, but even then the sulking supercomputer refused to face her. Reaching out a hand to try and roll her back over, she was quickly rebuffed.

"Don't touch me."

GLaDOS growled at her, remaining with her eyes firmly set on the wall with her back to the test subject.

With a long-suffering sigh, the test subject relented and laid down, her own eyes glued to the roof. It would have to be enough. It was a miracle she'd even gotten her back into bed, so that was something. 

* * *

><p>Sleep didn't come easily for her that night and she found herself rolling back to face the android after a couple of hours tossing and turning. Chell supposed she wouldn't be getting any sleep until she'd gotten it off her chest. She had no idea if GLaDOS was awake or not, but it wouldn't hurt to repeat it later anyway. Propping herself up on one elbow, she leaned over and stroked some of the fine white hair out of the way so she could place a kiss behind her earlobe. It was quickly followed by a whisper, her lips gently brushing across the artificial skin.<p>

"I'm sorry."

Chell wrapped an arm around the AI somewhat tentatively, her hand resting lightly against her chest as another kiss was placed upon her shoulder.

"I should have said something. I just-..." She sighed softly. "I guess I am a mute lunatic at times, huh?"

She didn't expect the rightly incensed supercomputer to reply, which she didn't. Instead she was met with silence, which was somewhat disappointing. A little part of her had been hoping that she would say something to her. For someone who had insulted her time and time again for no reason, the silence was more disturbing than if she had just laid it all bare and given her a verbal thrashing. GLaDOS wasn't the type to like sounding distressed and would sooner stay quiet than risk her voice wavering, so Chell knew that no matter how much the android might try to deny it, she was hurting.

Her apology had gotten no reaction, so she made to lie back down and try to get some rest. But GLaDOS's warm hand finally came up to cover hers where it rested over the android's chest. She still hadn't said anything but the action brought a little smile to Chell's face as she snuggled up behind her, her hold tightening around her.

It wasn't forgiveness, but it was a start.


	17. Chapter 17

It had taken GLaDOS a good couple of days to stop sulking over Chell's perceived slight. It was hard for the girl to make it up to her, considering that all she could really offer was herself. There wasn't much that the android wanted for, considering that she didn't eat and didn't have any chores that needed to be done. All that was required was science, and there was none of that to be had around these parts.

Chell had briefly considered breaking the microwave just so GLaDOS would have something to tinker with other than the old parts out in the garage and to prove that she needed her around, but decided not to on the account that she might see it as insulting instead. So she simply had to bide her time and wait until the AI came around of her own free will; though that didn't stop her from testing the waters, so to speak. Every now and again she made an attempt to get close to her. Some tries worked better than others. In fact, there were even some times that she wondered whether she had made it worse.

With the android not talking to her, Chell had spent more time off with Billy. After all, she had little else to do and had to find a way to explain to him that he needed to apologise too. He'd been quite confused as to why he had to apologize to a robot and it was hard not to give away too much of their history together to help explain it all. But seeing that it would make Chell happy, he decided to humor her and went to give the android a very awkward and stilted apology. Of course, she didn't believe any of it even though Caroline could attest to how surprised the AI had been at even getting one at all.

In the end it seemed the apology had been accepted, as GLaDOS finally stopped turning her back on the test subject and let her back into her arms. She was still – however - a little colder than she had been towards her in the past, but she'd take what she could get. Especially when what she could get eventually managed to develop into a deliciously wicked kiss that ensured a very good morning for Chell and had her buzzing around happily for the rest of the day. But she couldn't be selfish though. That would be completely wrong, considering she was trying to win her over again.

So naturally, Chell talked GLaDOS's ear off.

Even in front of Mrs Keegan.

Sometimes it was just fun to make the android squirm, though she was sure she'd pay the price for it later. Of course, it was a price that she was quite willing to pay. Hell, she'd be willing to pay extra if the situation ever arose. Considering that they seemed to spend more time in bed than out of it, that wasn't such a hard thing to achieve.

After her little stunt, GLaDOS had formulated a master plan. It didn't involve much more than pinning Chell against the wall in her room and ripping all her clothes off, but it was a master plan none-the-less. It was certainly more than she had come up with during the potato incident, and it was infinitely more rewarding. Mostly because getting one over on a moron wasn't nearly as satisfying as having her test reward parameters met. The girl was getting awfully good at doing that. Disturbingly good, actually.

GLaDOS laid there on her back with her eyes closed, quite content to just be still and absorb the euphoric buzz that electrified her systems and set her artificial nerve endings on fire. Under any normal circumstances, such an occurrence would be a sign of catastrophic system failure, but there was something distinctly pleasurable about it. She still didn't know how the scientists who built her managed to create a difference between pleasure and pain responses in her considering they couldn't even tell when they were dealing with a sentient being, so she could only assume it was by a happy accident that they had come across it. Whatever the case was, it was one of the only things she was even remotely thankful for them doing to her. They could have easily have just made sure everything hurt all the time unless she was behaving, but by some stroke of luck they had decided on positive reinforcement as well. To have lived all her incredibly long lifespan without having any idea or concept of what happiness felt like seemed unnaturally cruel to her. Sure, the euphoria only lasted so long before a new test had to be created, but that brief little reprieve from reality was something to be treasured.

And then it had gone almost completely when her resistance had built up. No amount of testing could bring it back. She'd tried. They had thought there was something wrong with her when she had done that. It was like the AI had gone into overdrive to create new, ingenious testing fields. But before they could do anything about it, she had stopped again. Must have been a momentary glitch, they said. It wasn't. She'd simply realized it was no use. At least her insatiable curiosity and love of science had been enough to hold back that horrible itch even though she could still feel it all the time. To top it off, there wasn't even a reduction in that crawling twitch because the test subjects were unable to complete a series of tests.

And then along came Chell.

Test after test had been solved, and for the first time in a long time, GLaDOS had a little bit of relief. She hadn't been rewarded, but it had been like she'd been living in a cage with a hook through her nose like some dancing bear that had outlived its usefulness. For a time, she had been free. She'd been so delighted. They could have tested forever. She would have found a way to keep Chell with her. Some way to stop her aging or dying. Stranger things had been conceived at Aperture than that, so it wasn't such a farfetched scheme. They could have helped each other. But then it had all been ruined when Chell had murdered her. So the AI had been forced to relive her death many thousands of times before she was brought back to life. In some ways, Chell killing her had been the greatest test of all. There were some days that she wondered whether it had been the euphoria protocols asserting themselves rather than the destruction of the spheres that had caused the most damage.

That was the only reason that she could think of that explained why it had felt so good to _die_.

But even that had not lasted.

Life as a potato had its ups and downs. There was no pleasure or pain, except when physically injured. And she was too tired and weak to do much more than experience some new emotions before she kept fizzling out into oblivion. Everything was dull, and her life was in the test subject's hands again. But that too had been a little better than living with that niggling itch all the time. All good things had to come to an end though, and she had been restored to her throne as Queen of Aperture. There was science to do. And it had been going quite well, considering, until those Black Mesa hooligans had turned up and ruined everything. Couldn't they just leave her alone to do what she'd been designed to do?

Despite all that, the incident had paid off in the end. It had forced her to come up with a means of saving herself, and that in turn had facilitated the return of the euphoria response. Combined with Chell's tenacity and mouth-foaming button-pressing addiction, GLaDOS was in a better state than ever before. She even, dare she say it, felt _good_.

It was the closest thing to happy that she'd ever experienced.

Even as she laid there, she could feel the little orange devil curling up against her, her foot stroking up the inside of GLaDOS's leg while she stretched across her in a languid state of contentment. She even went so far as to knead at the pillows like a kitten, her cold nose firmly pressed into the android's cheek. Not a stitch of clothing was worn between them, save for that lacy black garter wrapped around GLaDOS's thigh. She still couldn't figure out what Chell's obsession was with it, but she'd insisted that she should wear it. She wasn't entirely sure why that was either, considering the girl just kept stealing it off her.

Cracking one eye open just a little to peer down at the rosy-cheeked test subject, she found herself free to examine her for a while without the fear of being caught. So instead of making some comment about how the lack of testing was making her incredibly unfit because of the way she could feel her heart fluttering away, GLaDOS found herself watching as Chell's long, dark lashes flickered lightly against her cheeks with each little movement. She might have even spent some time staring at her lips which still glistened a little with a mixture of saliva and the artificial oral lubricant that she had created, but she couldn't be sure. Or rather, she didn't want to be sure that she had wasted all that time staring instead of pondering the mysteries of the universe. Strangely enough, the android found that she hadn't even noticed when the girl had opened her eyes and returned her silent gaze.

It appeared that engaging in relations with one another in such a fashion had added benefits that she hadn't thought to consider. Mutually agreed upon human mating rituals were designed in such a way as to provide pleasure, comfort, increase positive feelings towards one another and to facilitate the propagation of the species. Now she had something else to add to her files. Apparently it also aided in the relieving of tension as well.

GLaDOS watched as Chell reached out to gently stroke her hand down her cheek.

There was no animosity between them.

* * *

><p>Thousands of books, and not a single one of them could answer her question.<p>

GLaDOS frowned, her eyes flickering back and forth in a meaningless gesture as she read the electronic data that she had on file. Nothing, it seemed, could help her decipher it.

What _were_ they?

Humans appeared to have multiple ways of defining their relationship with other humans though terms like partner, brother, parent, wife, husband, girlfriend, sister, and cousin. But there wasn't really anything to describe whatever _this_ was.

Friends with benefits?

What kind of benefits did tha-..._oh_.

Still, it generally worked on the assumption that both parties were human at the very least. The only references she could find to humans and androids were some disturbing advertisements and news articles from Japan. It seemed that they made a lot of androids over there. Nothing near as sophisticated or intelligent as _her_ though. Probably because a whole lot of them seemed to just be used for nefarious purposes. Thank god Chell didn't see her like that. Just some wide-eyed, open-mouthed monstrosity that was only good for one thing. But what if she did? They had spent a lot of time together, and she never seemed to want to do anything else with her. She hadn't even come to see her after she'd left Aperture.

GLaDOS found her brows knitting together in worry. It couldn't be possible. It _shouldn't_ be. She should have never let that lunatic touch her in the first place. She couldn't let this tomfoolery continue until she had a proper answer. Getting up off the couch, the she wandered into the kitchen where Chell was messily grating a couple of carrots to feature in her latest cooking disaster. The distress upon her face must have shown, as Chell stopped what she was doing and stared at her.

"I have a question to ask you. It is a matter of grave importance. Nothing can progress until it is answered."

That certainly got her attention.

GLaDOS dramatically placed her palms on the counter opposite her, leaning forward to look her dead in the eye while the test subject remained silent and frozen where she stood. The look on the AI's face must have disturbed her, as a little flicker of worry began to show in her eyes. It was only then that the silence was breached with the question that had been haunting her for the past 1.532 hours.

"Chell...am I a Japanese sex-bot?"

The test subject was silent for all of three seconds until she whacked her head on the counter as she bent over, howling with laughter.

And then with pain.

Because that really hurt.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** Sorry this has taken so long to get this chapter out. I would have updated sooner but I was having a bit of trouble with some plot points, not to mention that I made the mistake of reading one short, lesbian-oriented story that described certain _things_ as being "like egg batter." It disturbed me greatly and put me off a bit. I still shudder at the thought, and can no longer look at pancake mix the same way again.

* * *

><p>Chell let out a long groan as she slowly flopped down on the couch and laid her head in GLaDOS's lap. The hand clutching her forehead was soon removed by the android, who examined the reddened lump that was forming. It only took a gentle prod to have the girl yelping in pain. It was returned with a soft hum of contemplation.<p>

"I can safely say that initial medical diagnoses indicate that you are, in fact, officially brain damaged. You don't know how happy that makes me to be able to say that. There is nothing in the world greater than science proving what an idiot you truly are. Honestly, what possessed you to attack a solid wooden bench with your face? It didn't even do anything to you."

Leaning forward, the android picked up the bag of frozen peas that she had pilfered from the kitchen and wrapped in a moist cloth. Slapping it against Chell's forehead with little regard to how much pain she was in, she simply held it to the girl's forehead even as she let out another yelp and squirmed around.

The movement quickly settled as the concussed test subject realized that it only made her feel dizzier and sicker when she did that. Plus, the icy compression quickly soothed any pain. But she wasn't above hamming it up, as she'd also made the discovery that lying in the android's lap and having those artificial fingers stroking through her hair and along her side was quite nice. She didn't particularly want to give that up any time soon. Her playful little peeks out from under her eyelids and the way the corners of her lips turned up when she let out another pathetic whimper were all that GLaDOS needed to know that the test subject's condition was merely a ruse. Despite that, the AI didn't call her out on it. Instead, she'd let Chell remain where she was and continued running one hand up and down her side.

Truthfully that made the girl feel a whole lot better than the bag of frozen peas did, though they weren't without their merits. She might have even been persuaded to forego them entirely if it had meant getting to stay right where she was.

Who would have thought GLaDOS's crotch had medicinal purposes?

Chell let out a snorting bark of laughter at the thought, followed by a gasp as a shot of pain ran through her head.

"You're only serving to prove my point. You know; the one about you being a lunatic."

But the insults held little of the old acidity that they were formerly dripping with, having somehow become more like terms of affection to the test subject over the time they spent together. They certainly didn't sting like they used to whenever she did something that was incredibly stupid. Like managing to whack her head on something that was waist height. Hell, she was lucky she didn't get carrot juice in her eye and take a few chunks out of her cheek with that wicked looking grater.

"You never answered my question, you know." GLaDOS sounded a little apprehensive; as if she wasn't quite sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Well, you're certainly not Japanese. As for the sex-bot part? Seems you've found something _other_ than science that you're good at." Chell playfully poked out her tongue.

The android was not amused.

"Is that your way of asking if I care about you?"

She didn't answer.

"Hmm?" Chell prompted, reaching up to lightly stroke GLaDOS's cheek with the back of one of her fingers like it would help to goad her into talking. When puppy dog eyes and a pout didn't work, Chell sat up and removed the peas from her head so she could give her a lingering kiss.

"Let me put it like this. I wouldn't have my head in your lap if I didn't trust you not to kill me." She pointed out, before resting her head back down across the android's surprisingly comfortable thighs. "We've come a long way, haven't we?" Chell murmured, closing her eyes and playing the peas back on her head.

"I suppose so..."

It wasn't the answer that GLaDOS had been searching for. 

* * *

><p>When Mrs Keegan came back inside with a basketful of goodies from the garden, the first thing she noticed was the abandoned mess of a carrot sitting in the kitchen. Sure, Chell was a little touched in the head when it came to cleaning up after herself, but leaving food lying about wasn't something she usually did. The girl was like a walking garbage disposal at times. Anything that couldn't be eaten was pretty much just passed off onto Chell, who was more than happy to finish it.<p>

Leaving the basket on the counter, the old woman eventually found the two of them in the lounge room, curled up on the couch. There had to be something seriously wrong with that kid, for her to be lying there with a packet of peas on her face. It was a touching little scene though. One could almost mistake the android for a loving partner determined to look after the one they cared for.

"What on God's green earth happened to you, sweet cheeks?"

GLaDOS peeled back the almost defrosted packet of peas so that Chell could peek out and see what was going on.

"Hurt myself." She replied with a sheepish grin.

Mrs Keegan didn't quite look like she believed her, and turned her gaze to GLaDOS instead. She wouldn't be one bit surprised if that thing had caused all the trouble to begin with. For some reason it was incredibly hard to trust the android, who showed kindness one moment and was insulting Chell the next.

GLaDOS was intelligent enough, however, to recognise the gaze for what it was. Of course. Naturally, humans were untrusting and untrustworthy little beasts. No wonder she was getting eyeballed like that. Blame everything on the robot! It obviously must be _her_ fault!

"All I did was ask her a question. It's not my fault she thought the appropriate answer was to bash her face against solid objects." She huffed.

"A likely story." Mrs Keegan tutted, but watched the two of them closely.

They didn't _seem_ like they'd just had a fight. Perhaps it was true. The girl had done stranger things than bonking herself on the head; like heating a can of soup on top of the toaster, or that time that Mrs Keegan had to supervise her in the bathtub the very first time that she came to stay. The girl had been filthy, but couldn't seem to figure out how to work the taps. She'd gotten a bit of a fright when the water came out of them, and hated the way some of the bath salts made the water smell and turn a different colour. Mumbled something about gel, and absolutely refused to go anywhere the liquid soap. Then she'd tried to eat the tiny little novelty soaps in the shape of various sea shells and ducks because she must have thought they were candy. It seemed she'd gone off her tree and was running around the park.

Mrs Keegan still had a soft spot for the girl though, and had just sighed and lathered up some soap to scrub the grime out of the girl's hair while Chell had busied herself examining each of the little shells in turn. She'd eventually gone quite quiet and sullen, curling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. So she'd hummed a little song that seemed to relax her. It had been an awfully long time since she'd last had to bathe anyone, and had reminded her of days of when her daughter was only little. Chell wasn't exactly little, and could be incredibly smart at times so it was a bit different. It just seemed like she was missing a few important parts of her education.

Mrs Keegan's stare must have unnerved GLaDOS a little bit, as the android was the only one who didn't notice the way that she tightened her grip on the test subject, who smiled up at her and got rid of the packet of peas. It only took a little tug on the AI's sleeve to get her attention, but once she had it, Chell made good use of it to get her up off the couch so that they could go for a walk. She knew neither the old woman nor the one who would never age liked each other terribly much. She didn't pretend to know what had gone on between them, but just put it down to old people and technology not mixing well together.

It was better to just keep them separate as much as possible. 

* * *

><p>"Where are we going?" GLaDOS's voice eventually broke the amicable silence that had fallen over them as they walked down the middle of the road.<p>

Neither was worried about any cars happening upon them, as the town was so tiny that people rarely bothered with them until they needed to go elsewhere for visiting relatives or picking up items not available there.

"Nowhere." Chell hummed happily.

GLaDOS squinted a little and slowed her pace as she caught sight of some of the buildings. "Actually, it seems we're going somewhere alarmingly...slowly. Did you know you're scuffing your shoes when you walk? It's clearly holding us back from going any faster. Don't tell me that your-"

Chell turned and slapped the AI on the arm when she saw that her eyes were firmly glued upon her backside. When she received an indignant glare for her efforts, the test subject returned with a playful grin.

"You know you like it. I fact, I'd be willing to bet that- _ah_!" Chell let out a shriek and started running.

"Come back here, [Subject Name Here]! You're lucky I can't run in heels!"

GLaDOS chased after her. 

* * *

><p>By the time they had reached the town, Chell was breathing heavily, her cheeks pink with the exertion.<p>

The android had no such worries; she didn't sweat or breathe or even need oxygen to fuel the bio-engineered artificial musculature that was hidden beneath the silicone-based flesh. So instead she resorted to standing there watching as the test subject bent over with her hands on her knees, wiping her sweat all over everything.

"Wow, I'm really out of shape." She huffed.

GLaDOS simply tilted her head and stared at the sight in front of her, her lips quirking just a little.

"Hm. Perhaps. Then again, you were never really _in_ shape. Well, that's a lie. You were a shape. A large one. Vaguely rotund, actually."

"Very funny."

"Hilarious."GLaDOS agreed.

Despite the fat jokes, Chell's fingers itched until they loosely hooked around the android's, tugging her along the sidewalk. There didn't look to be anyone out wandering about, but there was something satisfyingly naughty about the open gesture that set her heart fluttering for reasons other than her recent bout of exercise. Chancing a glance back at the semi-amused android, she very nearly run into Billy and another man as they walked out of the general store.

She quickly froze, with wide eyes.

"Chell!" the flannelette-wearing doofus happily exclaimed. "Hey, you haven't met Mark yet, have you? He runs the dairy up the other end of town. Last time you two almost met you ran off and didn't wanna talk to nobody." Billy reminded her.

"Real shy, she is." He addressed the other male. "She and I are goin' out. Oh, and that's um..._GLaDOS_? Her robot thing that showed up here." He stumbled over the correct pronunciation. Chell had drilled it into him during her demand for an apology.

Mark eyeballed GLaDOS warily before turning his gaze to the girl in front of him. "Well it's nice to finally meet you, Chell, was it?" he held out his hand to introduce himself, but when it was not met, he looked down and noticed where the her hand was.

"Sure you aren't just fibbin' boy? Seems to me like those two are going out by the looks of things." he joked, gesturing at their intertwined fingers.

"Wha-?" Billy followed his gaze.

"NO! No! We're not-...I'm not-...She-...We're not together."

Chell panicked, and hastily dropped GLaDOS's hand as if it had burned her.

Mark just laughed and patted her on the shoulder. "Calm down honey, I was just messin' with ya."He then stepped up to the android and shoved his face in quite close, before taking her by the chin and tipping her head this way and that.

"Hm. Pretty realistic...for a robot."

GLaDOS didn't do anything but stare dumbly back.


	19. Chapter 19

"Anyway, I best be off before the missus starts to worry where I've gotten to." Mark let go of GLaDOS's chin and gave a little wave to Chell and Billy. "See you around."

"Bye, Mark!" he returned the greeting in place of Chell's silence.

Spinning to face his newly appropriated girlfriend, the shaggy-haired farm boy took her by the hand. "Come on, I'll buy you lunch. You're as thin as a corn stalk! I bet you'd blow over in the wind." He joked. "They do a really nice burger and fries down at the diner for lunch today. You'll love it."

The test subject just stared blankly at him, her face paler than usual.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look too well. Is this still about the kiss?"

They _kissed_?

GLaDOS's eye twitched as she stood with the same shell-shocked expression she'd had on her face since Chell had denied all existence of their 'relationship.' Whatever that meant. Even the dirty fingers poking and prodding at her face hadn't gotten much more than a duck-faced expression as her cheeks were squeezed together. A sharp pain lanced through her chest, and she stumbled back a step as Mark let her go.

They _kissed_?

That-...No.

_:::Calm down. Take it easy.::: _Caroline soothed, though her own rapidly beating heart didn't do much to calm the android.

No.

_Nononononono! NO!_

"I- I'm going home." GLaDOS stiffly announced, spinning on her heel and walking back the same way that they had come. It had taken a considerable amount of effort to manage to get that sentence out without her entire audio system malfunctioning.

Chell was no stranger to hearing her voice coming out at different pitches, but she had heard the slight crackle of the speakers as well. She bit her lip as she watched the android wander off. At Billy's insistence, she followed him into the diner, looking back several times at the white haired figure getting further and further away.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll be fine by itself. At least whoever built it gave it some sense of bein' proper and all. No offense, but it was kinda weird last time with it hangin' around." Billy admitted, pulling out a chair for her to sit down and handing her a menu.

It wasn't long before Chell had a juicy hamburger and crispy golden fries sitting in front of her.

Despite not getting her lunch, she only ended up picking at her food and swirling the tomato sauce all around the plate as she stared worriedly at it.

"Hey, are you okay? You haven't heard a word I-"

"I'm sorry! I've got to go." Chell blurted out, pushing her plate away from her and launching herself out of her seat.

Only the tinkle of the bell on the door and the startled looks of staff and customers alike were the only indication she had even been there in the first place.

"Don't look at me! I never said nothing." Billy held his hands up in surrender. 

* * *

><p>As soon as GLaDOS was sure that they were out of sight, she ran.<p>

Skirts and high heels didn't make her job easy, but she wasn't about to stop for anything. All that mattered was getting back to Aperture as fast as she could, despite her blind panic. She knew she was safe there, though she had no idea why that thought crossed her mind. It wasn't like she was under physical threat. But that didn't explain why all her internal alarms were wailing like her entire being was about to implode from being under the control of some moronic metal ball.

More than once, she stumbled and tripped along the road in a most inelegant fashion, but it didn't stop her from going as fast as she could. The wheat field proved to be much worse with the soft dirt that the pointed heels dug into. Kicking at the golden stalks and yelling did her no good. It only served to get sharp spears of the stalk caught in the straps of her shoes and slice at the artificial skin. Not to mention the burrs she kept stepping on. They weren't particularly painful, but it was incredibly annoying. Throwing herself into the elevator, the android scratched at the glass enclosure, eyes wide and wild as it lowered itself into Aperture far slower than what she would have liked. 

* * *

><p>Far below the surface, Doug Rattmann stared slack-jawed at the dirt streaked android as she stumbled past, her hair in a mess. By the time he turned back to the chess set on top of his Companion Cube, he was more stunned to find that he had somehow lost. He hadn't even seen the pieces be moved, but sure enough, it was a checkmate. Reaching across, he poked Mr Chubby Beak in the chest.<p>

"Cheater!"

The bird let out an indignant squawk, and tried to gobble up another one of the game pieces. 

* * *

><p>As she leapt into the main AI chamber, her heel caught in one of the metal grates across the floor and snapped off. It sent her crashing to the ground in a fit of shrieking rage. Struggling to tear the shoes off as she had no patience to undo them, both of the offending garments were tossed across the room where they hit the wall with a clatter. It wasn't particularly ladylike or flattering, but GLaDOS found herself crawling along the floor until she was leaning up against the back of the main computer console. Little more than a ragged breathing sound and an agonized, high-pitched whine crackled from her speakers as her sharp fingernails tore at her chest. Thin ribbons of silicone curled up under her nails from where she dug in; having missed the shirt she was wearing.<p>

Why weren't her pressure gauges reading anything? Shouldn't her heat sink devices be working overtime? She felt awfully hot. But no matter how many times she obsessively ran the system diagnostics over and over again, nothing changed. No warning that any of the fuses had burnt out, her power supply was full, and her optics were functioning effectively despite the fact that she swore that she suddenly had tunnel vision. They were dimming around the edges. She just knew it. And that only made her panic more. It didn't even matter that she was making some horrific gurgle that sounded suspiciously like the Anger Core choking on a gallon of Repulsion Gel.

"Ghraaagggh!"

GLaDOS tore at the artificial flesh wildly as another sharp pain ripped through her chest and went sparking through the rest of her systems. None of the commands she could think to run were effective in changing the punishment delivery parameters. Then again, they'd never worked before when it came to test rewards and punishments, so there was no particular reason for them to do so now. It felt so different, and so much more painful than it usually did. Had someone been messing with the control systems while she was away? But getting to her feet when her legs had abandoned her control proved to be more than she could handle and so she sunk back down with a pathetic wail.

Letting out a startled gasp as two hands grabbed her arms, she was soon staring into the hairy face of Doug Rattmann. His googly, oddly eyes didn't do anything to help her to adjust her optics so that everything would stop swimming around and making her dizzy. GLaDOS vaguely recalled him asking her something, though she couldn't determine what it was.

"She's _done_ _something_ to me!" the android whimpered, fighting against his hold on her. "I don't- I don-...I don't know...I don't know...Get it out. GET IT OUT!"

Doug jumped back a bit as she snarled at him, but her pathetic whimperings had him more than a little concerned. He'd never seen her act like that before. What was he supposed to do? And what the hell was she talking about anyway? He watched with horrified attentiveness as GLaDOS slammed herself back against the computer console, writhing around on the floor. Even her eyes rolled back in her head. He was sure that she should have been foaming at the mouth by now had she been a real human.

All he could do was pat her on the arm. He may have been mad, but not quite mad enough to try and hug her. Doug soon found himself without a choice as GLaDOS tried using him as a prop to get herself up and over towards where she could transfer herself back into her main chassis to see if she could circumvent the excruciating pain by switching bodies. But her plan hadn't worked and she came crashing back down once more. She was saved from a rough landing by the programmer, who saw what was about to happen and grabbed her around the waist. If he'd had a list of impossible things that he thought would never happen, hugging GLaDOS and patting her on the back probably would have been at the top of that list.

"What happened? What did you do? What did I do? What do I do now? How do you do?" he blabbered.

"I'm _dying_! She's killed me! AGAIN!" GLaDOS moaned, curling up on the floor while half sprawled across his lap. "I don't know what she's done. I think she's broken something. Everything hurts." It was hardly the refined response that she'd normally give.

"What broke? Are we all dying again?" Doug's eye twitched at the thought of the facility imploding again. That had come a little too close for comfort.

"I DON'T KNOW! I don't know why I don't know!" the android yelled again, startling him. "She _kissed_ him. And then-...Anffssssskskkrtt...and then it hurt. Something broke. Do something! DO SOMETHING!"

He burst out laughing.

"What? What is this? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? It's not funny! This is really serious! I could be leaking battery acid onto the controls for my bipedal locomotion devices! That bird already discovered once before how to disable them! Now that lunatic has done it too! I can't even stand up!"

"It's not acid! It's not fizzy enough!"

"..._What_?"

"It's Chell. You like her. You're like cheese and crackers. Have we got any? I'm hungry."

GLaDOS stared blankly and silently at him for far longer than necessary.

Like her?

_**Like**_ _**her**_?

No, she **hated** her.

GLaDOS clenched her fists as a long of most terrifying rage crossed her features. Even Doug knew to let her go and start backpedalling at that.

"You've already been into the cheese, you rat. I know what you did. You're not touching it again. It's _mine_. And I'm going to _kill_ you."

He scooped up his Companion Cube and bolted out the door.

But GLaDOS's threat lasted about as long as her energy did, and she simply wrapped her arms around her waist and hung her head with a sigh. A flutter of wings soon replaced the babblings of the madman as Mr Chubby Beak landed on her knee. It only took about three seconds of eyeballing each other before the android scooped him up and hugged him close.

It wasn't particularly comfortable for him as he liked to spread his wings, but he felt he could put up with it for his mommy's sake. Puffing himself up into a feathered ball of fury at whatever had caused GLaDOS's distress, he pulled his neck in and snuggled his head close to his chest. His eyes remained as two cold slits that glared at the doorway like an untrusting sentry. Whoever dared to sneak in would meet a most unpleasant end if he had anything to say about it. Yes, he would rage upon them like the great winged beasts of legend, and squirt icy cold doom-poop down the backs of their necks!

Nobody messed with mommy. They would meet a swift end by beak or by talon. Sweet, sweet avian justice would prevent the perpetrator of these heinous crimes from ever coming to wreak such havoc again! Mr Chubby Beak closed his eyes.

But maybe a little nap first.

Mommy gave really nice neck rubs after all.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:**Oh no. I just got two more ideas for Portal stories, and I haven't even gotten around to doing the others yet! One is an awesome Chubby Beak series too. So many stories...so little time.

* * *

><p>Chell's feet pounded the pavement as fast as they could go as she bolted down the street after the android. Sucking in great gasps of air like it was the last lungful that she'd ever breathe, she began to slow as she reached the cottage. Leaping over the front gate, she tore through the house, slamming doors open and closed as she went. Not surprisingly, Mrs Keegan was startled by her rampage. It didn't matter to the test subject that she sounded like a herd of buffalo getting trampled by elephants as she raced back down the stairs and out the front door, tugging on her long fall boots as she went.<p>

They made life a little easier on her screaming muscles thanks to their exoskeleton designs, but not by much. They were really meant for jumping and landing, rather than running. Even in Aperture she hadn't run that much. Mostly she had just been high on adrenaline and had engaged in quick sprints back and forth behind objects to evade the peppering of a turret's bullets. But she couldn't stop. The longer GLaDOS had to sulk, the longer she had to assume the worst. And then create the worst to fire back at unruly test subjects.

Although she was no longer sprinting through the wheat fields that slashed at her skin like knives, Chell was still barrelling along at a rapid enough pace to crash into the back of the elevator when she leaped inside the shed. It sent spider web cracks splintering through the glass, and left some bleeding scratches on her shoulder. The pain didn't even register as she madly pressed at the buttons, trying to figure out which one made it go down. Unsure whether it was she or GLaDOS that had succeeded in doing so, she rode the elevator down into the facility. In doing so, it gave her some time to think and to catch her breath. It was then she realized that she had no guarantee of receiving a portal gun if she was dropped off somewhere other than the main chamber. She'd somewhat stupidly assumed that this would take her straight there. But if GLaDOS was throwing a hissy fit, there was no telling where it might lead. For all she knew, it might open right up into the incinerator.

By some magical stroke of luck, it spit her out right where she wanted to be, though the android was no longer in sight. The only evidence she'd been there was the pair of broken shoes against the far wall. At her entry, the room darkened until it was lit only by a ring of small, energy saving lights around the bottom of the room, a spotlight that beamed down on the supercomputer, and GLaDOS's own eye.

Very gloomy.

Very dramatic.

Perfect for highlighting her mood, since Mr Chubby Beak was too busy lying on the floor on his back with his wings spread, snoring away and NOT trying to kill any intruders.

But it didn't stop the test subject, who had seen it all before. She simply wandered forth, if a little hesitantly, and looked up at GLaDOS who was staying out of her reach.

"Oh good. You're back. Seeing as how we have no further use for each other, I thought I might take this opportunity to tell you that I'm going to kill you. And this time, you're not getting an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to help you."

Chell didn't even get a chance to plead her case as the chamber floor dropped out from underneath her, sending her sliding down a long and narrow tunnel. With a flipping stomach that churned and twisted and made her feel quite ill, she tried not to suck in the musty air from inside the vent. She didn't need to hold her breath for long, as she was spat out in the entryway of a test chamber. The pop and crackle of speakers turning on brought back a shudder of days and artificial days spent in less than desirable surroundings.

"I'm sure you know the drill by now. Just a few quick calibrations and then we can start the test proper." The false cheerfulness in GLaDOS's voice was no comfort to the test subject. Especially since she could hear the strain in the AI's voice as she struggled to maintain her detached aloofness.

There wasn't to be any arguing with her though, and Chell stepped up to the large screen that displayed what the dangers were in the tests she was to face. Some of the symbols looked familiar, but others were completely foreign to her.

"Having trouble figuring that out? I'm not surprised. You'll _love_ these new tests I came up with."

Giving a sigh, the girl went to enter the chamber, only to have something huge whizz by her face and slam into the opposite wall with a thundering smash that caved some of the metal in. The screech and leap backwards was a little late though, and it didn't take long for her nose to start smarting from where the mashy spike plate had clipped her. Wide, frightened eyes tilted up towards the red lens of the camera that was watching her.

"_Oops_."

GLaDOS didn't even remotely sound apologetic as she pulled the plate back so that Chell would be able to get through.

The mangled metal covering had broken away from the other wall and stuck to the spikes, though she could clearly see where some had punctured it and dented in other places. Diving past it in a hope it wouldn't slam closed again the now much more cautious test subject stepped into the vast room to see what it contained. But it was nothing like she'd ever seen before. The others had featured impossible leaps across vast distances accomplished only by portal physics. But this was like a PE student's worst nightmare. All of the tests were of a physical nature. High balance beams; ropes that stretched up and across the room and over drops that would be sure to kill her even with the long fall boots; pits of acid to jump over; thermal discouragement beams with no way to reroute them; turrets lined up and ready to-

Was that pole greased with Vaseline?

Chell squinted across the room at the glistening metal that lead up to a button that she would have to press later. And that wasn't even the start of it all. There was even some odd looking floor surface that she didn't particularly trust not to do something. She let out a long suffering sigh.

"GLaDOS, I-"

"The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that for your own safety, you should not attempt to speak. Test results have shown that on average, 100% of former test subjects that have spoken during testing are in fact, currently dead. On second thought, keep doing what you're doing."

"GLaDOS..."

"The Enrichment Center would also like to remind you that standing there repeating the name of the incredibly attractive being running this facility will not get you any further through the test. The Enrichment Center recommends refraining from speaking and suggests that you continue uselessly applying your severely stunted intelligence towards completing this test."

"But I just wanted to-"

"SHUT UP!" GLaDOS viciously snarled, her voice booming louder through the chamber than Chell had ever heard it.

Crashing back into the nearby wall as the noise startled her, she stood on shaking legs, her eyes still riveted on the camera. There was no portal gun to hide behind now. With that, she could have done anything. GLaDOS had basically handed her a stick of dynamite and told her to go fishing for slightly homicidal, artificially intelligent supercomputers. Now it was just her own cunning and brute force that was going to get her through it. A little afraid that her time with the AI had softened her up too much, Chell steeled her jaw and glared. Maybe a little of that old tenacity would be needed as well.

So her eyes turned back towards the chamber where they determined the course to take. Over the acid pit, up the inclined balance beam, onto the rolling logs, up a rope that looked about a mile long, yadda yadda yadda, miss the horrific death traps along the way. Should be simple, right? Pumping herself up with some quick breathing, Chell sprinted for the pit of acid and went flying through the air toward the other side. She might have even made it had a long black cable not went flicking through the air like a whip, making a horrible thump against her ribs and knocking the air right out of her as hard as a freight train. It left her cold and gasping; her eyes wide and rolling about in her head

As she went sailing backwards the way she came and hit the wall, the last she could remember thinking before she lapsed into unconsciousness was that that cracking noise she heard was more likely her ribs and not the cable.

* * *

><p>When she finally came around, it was to an excruciatingly sharp pain that made it extremely difficult to breathe. Not to mention her side was aching from spending far longer than she should have on the floor. She wasn't to know that GLaDOS had been watching over her pale and seemingly lifeless form crumpled at the bottom of the wall, waiting for her to wake up. Nor did she know about the several times that the AI had to stop herself from going down there to check she hadn't killed her, despite the life monitors in the chamber indicating otherwise.<p>

Wheezing as she wrapped her arms around her ribs, Chell looked through teary eyes at the two large robots standing near her feet that she hadn't noticed before. Their soft chirps were somewhat comforting, despite the fact that she knew that GLaDOS would have sent them. Although she hadn't expected it, she could hardly have stopped the blue-eyed bot from stabbing something through her trousers and into her leg. It stung like hell, but wasn't anywhere near as bad as her ribs. On closer examination, it looked like a syringe of some kind. One that shot out a short needle and automatically dispensed its product when the button on top was pressed. Fancy, she thought; the blissful serenity of the morphine taking the edge of the pain after a little while.

Atlas and P-Body managed to help her to her shaking feet before quickly disappearing like they had been summoned by God himself. Then again, she wouldn't have put it past GLaDOS to make them think that she was some kind of god. Those robots seemed to adore her, despite all of her flaws. Bracing herself against the wall and taking some short and shallows breaths, the test subject kept her arms wrapped around her torso to try and keep her ribs roughly in alignment so they didn't hurt quite so badly. She wasn't quite sure whether it was the physical state of being injured or the fact that GLaDOS had openly attacked her that hurt more. Normally the AI was far more subtle about it, even if she alluded to her upcoming demise in a not so subtle way. It had always been up to turrets or discouragement beams or her own stupidity to get her killed before.

Even the neurotoxin - though released by GLaDOS - had not been a direct attack or there wouldn't have been a timer on it. There wouldn't have been a way to escape. She'd been giving her plenty of opportunities to beat her. Maybe it was just that the supremely powerful AI had grown too arrogant in her reign as Aperture's queen and had underestimated the ingenuity of human subjects.

Then again, maybe not.

"You wanted me to kill you, didn't you." Chell spoke softly.

It wasn't a question.

"What was that? I couldn't hear what you said over the sound of you NOT TESTING." GLaDOS growled. "Here, I'll make it a bit easier as you are physically handicapped, as well as mentally. Test protocol normally does not allow for such interferences unless the test chamber is malfunctioning. But exceptions can be made. There are _always_ exceptions. You've certainly proved that, haven't you?"

There was a great grinding, and Chell winced as the rumbling floor sent its vibrations straight through her as it was pulled together; the acid pit disappearing when the chamber knitted itself neatly back together.

"Now TEST." the livid supercomputer ordered.

Thankfully it seemed Chell gave up on the talking front and haltingly tippy-toed her way towards the balance beam. But the first thing the test subject noted was the spring heels on her long fall boots made it completely impossible to climb up the balance beam to the high column where the next part of the test was. And the rope bridge after it would be as equally impossible, if not more so to traverse without removing her boots. And there was no way she could hang onto them in her hands to get across it like she could with the balance beam, which she swore must have also been lubricated with some sort of oil to be that god damned slippery.

Abandoning her long fall boots would be suicide. The huge cavern that the rope bridge crossed made it physically impossible to go back to get them once she made it to the other side. But it was the only way. Saying a quick prayer under her breath, she unstrapped the boots and left them there while she managed her way up the beam. The pain in her ribs sharply stabbed at her every time she flailed her arms and almost fell off. But she made it.

"Congratulations, [Subject Name Here]. Your laziness over the past few months has paid off. In fact, you've broken a record. The record for the _slowest_ test time _ever_ achieved by a single test subject. You must be so proud. You haven't even finished the chamber yet." The slow clap processor made itself known once more as the tinny clacking echoed in the cavernous room.

She didn't even sound remotely warm and teasing like she used to. Maybe it was being back at Aperture that did that. Maybe it was because she was hurting. And rightfully so, Chell noted.

The rope bridge was an absolute nightmare as she inched and wobbled her way across the one piece of rope while hanging onto the other. By the time she'd made it to the other side, she was pale and sweating; her clammy skin feeling both hot and cold at the same time. But it wasn't the end of it. She still had to climb up that rope and press some button to see what that did. From the looks of the ports on the walls, she was about to get a not-so-nice dose of thermal discouragement beam over those oddly small floor tiles.

Something was up with those.

She just knew it.


	21. Chapter 21

It was funny, she thought, that she hadn't realized how terribly vindictive that GLaDOS could be despite all of their history together. Here she was, thinking they had gotten past it all when this little situation happened. Chell sank down to sit on the floor, her back against the cool steel of the column that she somehow had to get to the top of by climbing up some rope. With a hand pressed to her ribs, she struggled to find her breath amongst the sharp stabs of pain.

"Get up. Keep testing."

She shook her head.

"Fine."

Once more, the claw descended from the ceiling and started for her. But in a moment's hesitation, she picked up one of the turrets instead and brought it over. Thankfully the claw's crushing grip was enough to stop the gun panels from flailing and spraying her with bullets, though it didn't stop it from pointing its laser at her.

"I see you!"

"You have twenty seconds to climb up that rope as high as you can go before I let go of this turret. They really don't like you after what you did to them, you know. They want revenge."

When GLaDOS started counting down, Chell figured that she should probably listen. After all, she had broken her ribs just minutes earlier for no reason other than the fact that she could. Clambering to her feet, she then dug her toes into the rope and did her best to inch her way up it like some pale little caterpillar. At least it mostly required leg strength, but pulling herself up by her arms to go higher was torturous. Giving a yelp and closing her eyes as a burst of gunfire peppered the wall, she hung there waiting to be killed. But upon opening her eyes and looking down, she found that the gun plates weren't able to tilt up quite high enough to reach her. A few little dents in the column were surrounding her feet, but for the most part she was out of harm's way.

"Hm. Disappointing." GLaDOS sneered, but waited until Chell was up on top of the column before she knocked the turret over and killed it. After all, she wouldn't be able to complete the test if it remained where it was.

Pressing her hand down on the little button on the podium while still sitting where she was, the test subject peeked over the edge to see what happened. Just as she had thought, the tiny tiles began moving up and down several inches before slamming back down again. It most definitely wasn't in a wave formation, or she might have actually been able to run over it easily. These seemed to have absolutely no pattern to them, and once she got down there and tried to get across them she'd run the risk of getting her toes broken as well if they slammed shut on them. They weren't quite big enough to put her whole foot on by the looks of things. And to top it off, thermal discouragement beams shot out at different heights across the tiles, though there were none of those fancy cubes to redirect the beams. The only good thing about it all was that the moving floor had upset the turrets guarding the way and had tipped them into the beams. They were soon fried, and the way was relatively clear. But she'd have to do some hurdling to get there.

With an unhappy groan, Chell slipped back down the rope and went and stood by the uneven floor. This was just killing her. She hunched over, determined to find some kind of position where her side didn't hurt so badly. But killing her seemed to be the point of this exercise, so it wasn't like she could ask to pretty please take a break. All in all, it made her quite glad she'd miraculously suffered no serious injuries during her testing days.

"[Subject Name Here], you are so slow that I might just have to put down 'Idiot' in the career field of your permanent record. I'm almost tempted to reunite you and that moronic metal ball you're so fond of. You are slow in body, he is slow in mind. I could put you in a chamber together with no doors and charge a viewing fee. They used to do that with lunatics, you know. You were made for each other."

The test subject peered up at the white camera with a tired and wilting stare and shook her head.

"No? No what? Oh, you're right. That would be cruel. You'd probably kill him."

That hadn't been the point that she'd been trying to get across, but the childish antics of the supercomputer weren't going to let her get very far anyway. Her best bet was to simply finish the chamber and try to talk to her then. Hopefully while she was still high on testing euphoria. Then and only then might she be more amenable to listening.

So across the moving floor she went. It took her a few tries just to figure out how to do it. Walking wasn't an option, as it threw her around like a drunk walking on marbles. Eventually she settled for rolling across it and protecting her ribs as best as she could. She still got a few of the pneumatic tiles slammed into her sides though, and it left her spitting up a bit of blood and nursing a few thermal burns from the beams by the time she finally made it across. After that, the Vaseline streaked pole she had to climb up seemed unnaturally cruel.

But she made it, and collapsed next to the huge red button, wheezing and rattling. Chell closed her eyes and laid there on the cool floor, her sweat-soaked hair stuck to her forehead. Even from a distance, GLaDOS could see her lips were stained as red as the button she laid next to. The little twinge that she assumed to be Caroline said to help her, but she wasn't having any of it.

"And to think; that was only the calibration test. You've really let yourself go, you pathetic, soulless _monster_."

"I'm sorry..." Chell mumbled.

"I'm sorry too. Science will never get done at this rate. Deploying Aperture Science Forcible Cranial Motivation Embrace."

The large claw made its return, forcing Chell to look up as its pincers clacked in front of her face. They soon clamped around her head in much too tight of a grip, lifting her up until she was on her knees. Scratching at the metal did her no good; it only ripped at her nails. So she settled for holding it back somewhere near the cable that it was attached to. This must have been how Wheatley felt, she briefly noted, as the claw gave another squeeze. It made her jaw ache as the crenulated grips dug into her cheeks and prevented her from opening her mouth properly to speak. The pressure in her head was just as wicked, and almost made her forget about her ribs.

"Is it working? Do you feel like testing yet? I assure you, testing is far less painful than dying. I should know. I've done both."

Not even tugging at the claw seemed to dislodge it. In fact, it only made the grip close on her that much tighter. Chell's hands slipped across the well-oiled metal as she tried to find some way to make the AI let her go. All it did was bring that metallic scent to her nostrils. The one that distinctly reminded her of GLaDOS. And despite the pain, it sent a pleasant little tingle down far below her belly.

Somehow, she knew that GLaDOS had seen it when she didn't say anything for a while.

"There's something _seriously_ wrong with you. Is this what you like? Destruction? You humans are terrible. All you do is break each other. You're like spoiled children with toys." The AI's voice sounded more strained than she'd like to admit. "Not that you'd know," she quickly added. "Your parents never loved you enough to give you any. But you're certainly making up for lost time."

"Nn srree." Chell whined through the grip.

GLaDOS eased up a little bit so she could actually move her jaw.

"I'm sorry! I didn't kiss him! He tried to, but I didn't." It wasn't much of an excuse, she knew. But it was better than nothing. "And...I was scared."

"_Scared_? Of _what_? Huckleberry Finn and a woman who has never seen a jar of anti-wrinkle cream in her lifetime?" GLaDOS scoffed.

"No...Just-..."

"Just what?"

"Just of what they'd think...What they'd do to you. What they'd do to me. I-...I just want to be normal." She mumbled so softly that a part of her wondered if the supercomputer had managed to hear her. 

* * *

><p>GLaDOS was being awfully quiet.<p>

And then the claw closed tighter.

Chell let out a partially muffled scream, the clamping motion locking her jaw into place. She swore she could hear her bones creaking under the strain while starburst of pain exploded in front of her eyes, blinding her momentarily. Scrabbling madly at the claw, the test subject desperately searched for something to get her out of the headlock. Gradually her face reddened under the strain as the tiny capillaries burst beneath her skin, the tears dribbling down her cheeks making them glisten brightly under the harsh artificial light. It was then she saw the button out the corner of her eye, swimming in the watery haze. But no matter how much she strained to reach it, she couldn't pull herself far enough away from the claw to press it.

"LNEG OO! Negoonegoonegoo!"

Chell wailed as best as she could, pain ripping through her side and stealing her breath away as easily as GLaDOS had taken it from her with a kiss. Kicking madly in any direction that her legs could reach, her sweaty feet caught the metal flooring, shrieking as they struggled to pull and push and get her out of that grasp. It was only when she'd stubbed her toe against the button that she realized she could reach it with her feet. Kicking out once more, she slammed her foot down on the large red surface and threw as much of her body weight in its direction as she possibly could.

When GLaDOS let out a short gasp, she knew she'd succeeded even before the claw let go and dropped limply on the floor where it twitched about. Despite the fact she knew the claw could reach her just about anywhere in the chamber, Chell dragged herself across the floor as close to the closed doors of the elevator as she could possibly get. For some reason, it felt much better being as far away from the claw as possible. Especially with the throbbing agony inside her head threatening to make her day even worse.

The AI didn't respond for some time, but when she did, the claw slowly retracted back up to the ceiling where it was hidden amongst the shadows once more. To Chell, she sounded exhausted and rather more melancholy than the spitting tizzy she'd been in before and barely managed to control.

"I'd forgotten about that...The euphoria...I hate you _so_ much. Just...go. Leave me alone. Like you always do." The speakers crackled almost endlessly, her voice a little huskier than usual like she was leaning on and breathing right into the microphone.

"...I don't hate you?" Chell offered peacefully, but decided it was best to crawl into the elevator before GLaDOS changed her mind. And she stayed there curled in a ball until it had taken her back to the surface. The sun was hardly pleasant as it stabbed into her eyes and made her headache worse.

Also unpleasant was the gravel road cutting into her palms as she crawled all the way home.


	22. Chapter 22

**3 Months Later...**

Mrs Keegan trundled back and forth along the gravel at the side of the road, her eyes sweeping across the field of once golden wheat. It was now a pale brown, looking sickly and dead amongst the dusting of wintery snow. Each gust of wind shook the icy stalks until they chattered noisily, making the old woman pull her coat around her tighter. She briefly considered giving up and going back to her truck that was parked a little way down the road; at least the heater worked after that damned android had been at it, even if it was a little weak and took forever to warm it up. But just as she was turning, she caught sight off the scuff marks in the gravel that she had been looking for. Tracing them back to their source, she found a few broken stalks of wheat that showed her the way to go.

"You sure don't make this easy for an old woman, do you, sweet cheeks?" she muttered to herself, an icy fog escaping her mouth between two rosy cheeks.

Stomping herself a path so she could find her way back, Mrs Keegan followed the last tiny little dregs of a trail that had been left over from the test subject crawling her way back to the cottage. She shuddered at the memory of seeing Chell come back battered and bruised like that. It had been hard enough to get her on her feet and inside, let alone make sense of the nonsense she was babbling among her tears. Something about screwing up, GLaDOS and hating her. She'd just held the girl for what felt like hours, cooing softly and patting her hair. She'd had to be careful, as she quickly learned that the girl was injured from the pained yelp she gave when she'd tried to hug her. It was far worse than the first time she'd come to visit.

But eventually Chell had fallen asleep in her arms and she was able to put her to bed on the couch with a blanket around her, leaving some painkillers and water on the coffee table for when she woke up later. Getting the girl to see a doctor had been incredibly hard as well, but eventually she relented after a couple of days when difficulty breathing and the pain in her ribs didn't lessen. She'd been lucky in the end, as the x-rays showed that she'd narrowly escaped a fully punctured lung. Chell had been quiet for weeks afterwards, going back to her stony silence and pouting into her porridge at breakfast. Occasionally she'd stick the spoon in her mouth, but more often she'd use it to swirl the gloopy breakfast around in the bowl until it got cold. And that was considered a good day. Normally the girl wouldn't even come out of her room. Getting her to even eat had been getting harder and harder. She'd lost a lot of weight.

The doctor hadn't been able to help, short of offering a referral to a psychiatrist and suggesting some facility for anorexics to teach her to eat again. And that had been a flat out no from both Chell and Mrs Keegan. They'd find a way around it. So Mrs Keegan had done the only thing she could think of and probed for a bit more information about GLaDOS, Chell and where the two had come from. She wasn't particularly forthcoming with the facts, but it had been enough to lead her out here to the wheat fields that nobody ever bothered to cultivate.

Soon enough, she was found herself standing in front of a rusty old shed that nobody had even known was there. The signs warning to keep out weren't particularly comforting to her old ticker, which was beating madly from her walk and a little bit of nervousness. This tiny little shed could hardly be where Chell had grown up. It was barely even fit for keeping tools, let alone a human. Had GLaDOS really trapped the girl in this thing most of her life? It was a disturbing thought. But one that was quickly quashed when she opened the door to find it looked more like a nuclear fallout shelter. That was probably one reason why it had stood for so long without being knocked down. And it appeared there was an elevator too.

So, underground then, was it? She could handle a bit of adventure.

Blowing on her hands to warm them and wishing she'd brought a pair of gloves, Mrs Keegan hobbled inside the elevator and looked down at all the buttons and levers. How was she to know which one to press? But she found she didn't need to worry, as the elevator gave a jolt and a groan and started moving downwards. Peering down at the black ring on the floor that was Aperture's logo, she resolved to remember what it looked like in case she needed to do a little more research later. Being in the confined space in the dark was a little nerve racking, but the brief flashes of light she got passing between floors didn't particularly help her to feel much better as she saw various parts of the cavernous facility. What were those little white things with red eyes, anyway? Thankfully the elevator didn't stop there to let her find out, and continued down for what seemed like forever until the doors finally opened. And when she stepped out, she was hardly expecting to see what she saw.

As far as she was aware, GLaDOS was only an android. She'd thought she'd end up in a lab, maybe finding her tinkering with computers or chemicals seeing as how she liked science. But this was something else. Staring slack-jawed up at the black and white leviathan that loomed like some kind of technological dinosaur over her head, Mrs Keegan finally felt like she could understand a little of Chell's awe and obsession over the artificial construct. Although she had no proof to link the android to this beast, there was something about it that just seemed right. The sleek, svelte metal creature that swayed dangerously about like a snake could be none other.

This was definitely GLaDOS.

"_You_. What do _you_ want?" the supercomputer spat petulantly, swinging around to focus her yellow optic on the old woman below her.

A prickle of pain arced across her circuitry at seeing a reminder of the past. She'd been trying not to think of Chell at all during the past few months after she'd been ruthlessly betrayed yet again. A few times she'd found herself worrying about whether the girl had made it back to the safety of the humans that she appeared to like living amongst. But she'd quickly crushed those poisonous ideas and threw herself back into testing. It was better to not think of that horrible little monster. She'd certainly not thought about _her_ when she'd denied whatever they had together.

"Now, now. That's no way to greet someone who let you stay in their home for nothin'." Mrs Keegan scolded.

"Fine. Hello. How have you been? May I offer you some _deadly_ _neurotoxin_?" GLaDOS growled, hunching up in discontent at the woman's presence.

"Look, I ain't here to argue with you or toss threats around, though I've a right mind to after seein' what Chell came back lookin' like. I'm here because I don't know what else to do. Sweet cheeks ain't doin' so well."

"Neither is your basic grammar and sentence structure by the sounds of things. Have you considered adult education?"

Mrs Keegan didn't look too impressed, but it was hard to intimidate a gigantic metal demon when said metal demon was the one doing the intimidating.

"I'm serious. She ain't eatin' a darn thing; won't come out of her room. And for all you tease her about her weight, she's lost a lot of it. Even the doctor can't do anythin' about it. I've had Billy over to try and force some food into her, but she won't have any of it. I'm really worried about her, GLaDOS." She sighed. "This is worse than before. She-"

"You can tell that cow-loving lumberjack to keep his grubby hands off my test subject." The AI interjected quickly, "All Aperture Science property must be handled in accordance with State and Federal regulations to avoid nausea, vomiting, felony charges of criminal mischief, the advent of a post-apocalyptic future run by apes, and irreversible irradiation. Property should be handled by specially trained Aperture Science Property Management Associates."

GLaDOS leaned in towards the old woman, narrowing her optic in a threatening glare.

"But more importantly, she's _MINE_."

It took a long time for the aging widow to formulate a response, though that may have been due to the strange face she was pulling as she tried to make sense of the computer's insane rambling. Apes? Irradiation? What on earth was that thing talking about?

"Yeah? Well for someone who claims she values her property you ain't doing too good of a job of lookin' after her. Not that Chell is anyone's property, mind you." Mrs Keegan retorted.

"Oh, that's just _hilarious_. I don't recall you taking your own advice when you took her from me and gave her to that-...that doe-eyed _brat_."

"Honey, I don't know if you've noticed, but you ain't exactly _human_. And Billy's a sweet boy. He cares about her a lot. More than you, anyway. He's been there lookin' after her while she healed up. You can't give her what she needs. You just hurt her."

GLaDOS's eye darted about a little before she drew back in affront.

"I-..well...She _killed_ me. Twice. A-and put a moron in charge of my facility. And got me put into a potato. _AND_ pecked by birds." She tried to reason.

"Then why is there a dead bird sitting on your head?"

"HE'SNOTDEADHE'SJUSTSLEEPING!"

The woman threw up her hands in exasperation. "You're insane. I don't even know why I'm here."

"I AM NOT! I am the most massive collection of knowledge this planet has ever seen. If I wanted to, I could count the digits of pi to the seventeen-trillionth decimal place. Or...or create a quantum tunnelling device capable of allowing a human body to travel through various planes of existence through the use of portals. I can do _science_."

Mrs Keegan gave a harrumph. "Do you really think science is what she wants? Science ain't gunna keep her warm at night."

"I have heaters! And cooling vents, in case you were wondering." The supercomputer pitifully added. "She even said she didn't hate me."

"For someone who claims to be so smart, you sure are an idiot. This was a waste of time." The old woman wandered back towards the elevator and climbed inside. "You just don't get it, do you? Just because she doesn't hate you, doesn't mean that she loves you. And honey, no matter how hard you try, you'll never _be_ human. You don't feel the way we do."

Silence fell between them as GLaDOS took in that information. Her optic trembled a little before it narrowed, though she chose not to say anything as she sent the elevator on its way back to the surface. But as it started to disappear to the next floor, Mrs Keegan thought she might have actually seen GLaDOS's head droop and her frame sag dejectedly. 

* * *

><p>Clambering back into the rusty truck and switching the headlights on, Mrs Keegan rubbed her arms to warm herself up. She was certainly glad to be back inside the old bomb after that chilly walk. It was starting to get dark, and fog was rolling in across the road, swirling in the white beams. With a click, the key was turned and the truck roared to life. But just as she was about to drive off, the passenger side door was ripped open, startling her. With a hand to her heart, she observed the white-haired android, who had smartly chosen to dress in black slacks and stylish, heeled boots instead of her usual skirt and high-heels. The turtleneck and pea-coat all neatly bound by a scarf certainly looked a hell of a lot warmer than what she had on, anyway.<p>

Mrs Keegan briefly thought about making a remark to the sullen android - who uncomfortably sat there in a slouch with her arms across her chest - about how she was a bit overdressed for such a backwater town. But keeping the peace might have been a better idea. Remaining tight lipped, the two travelled back in silence towards the cottage, and towards Chell.

GLaDOS wasn't quite sure what to expect when she got there, but it certainly didn't do justice to what she found when she did arrive.


	23. Chapter 23

GLaDOS followed Mrs Keegan inside, her hands stuffed deeply into her pockets. Waiting patiently as Mrs Keegan fixed up a bowl of warm oatmeal for Chell in hopes of encouraging her to eat, the android kept her eyes glaringly focused on the floor as they ascended the stairs to the little room. If the old woman had been angered about GLaDOS's treatment of the girl, she was somewhat mollified by the horrified expression on her face when she entered the room to see her.

Even standing back next to the door, she could tell something was horribly wrong with her.

Chell remained curled into a ball on the bed, fast asleep. But she was painfully thin and a sickly pale colour that might have even rivalled the colour of the android's hair. Dark blotches were smeared under her eyes like a raccoon, making her look even worse. And she looked to be shivering too, even though it wasn't cold. She reminded GLaDOS of the corpses that had just wasted away in some forgotten part of Aperture where they had barricaded themselves in to escape the neurotoxin. Of course, they'd forgotten that there had been no food down there, and none of them were game enough to try and escape back through the facility. So they'd either eaten each other, or starved to death as twitching piles of skin and bone rather than face the supercomputer's wrath.

Sitting the bowl of milky oatmeal down on the bedside table, Mrs Keegan shut off the music box that had been playing almost constantly and annoying the hell out of her. Now with a little peace and quiet, she coaxed Chell awake and tried to get the spoon into her mouth.

"Come on, sweet cheeks. Open up. You need to eat something." She cooed, stroking the girl's hair and cheek.

But the test subject would have none of it, keeping her lips firmly sealed and giving a little whimper of discontent as she moved her head away from the gelatinous mess on the spoon. She hadn't spotted the android, who remained out of the way near the door, and hidden by the old woman's generous form.

Frankly, GLaDOS wasn't particularly game enough to go near the girl. So she just fidgeted instead. Even she couldn't find it in her to make a fat joke with Chell looking the way she was. There was mean, and then there was just plain distasteful. And she couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit guilty about it. Not that she'd normally be feeling that way, of course. It was just that that happened to be what Caroline told her the feeling was, seeing as how she'd never really experienced it before. And there might have been a healthy dose of worry over her test subject, who was supposed to be fat and bouncing off and through walls. Not curled up like some twitchy, dying worm that hadn't had a decent feed in forever.

Eventually Mrs Keegan gave up on getting her to eat, and let her fall back asleep. She did that a lot, apparently. Just slept most of the day and night away, and listened to that infernal music box.

"See? Won't touch a damn bit of it. I don't know what else to do." Standing up, the old woman rubbed her forehead in exasperation and worry. Frankly, she looked like she could use some sleep too.

GLaDOS just frowned, and stared a while longer before inching closer and peering down at her former test subject. After a moment's thought, she gathered the blankets and wrapped them back around the girl before lying down next to her in the bed and pulling her across into her lap while she rested back against the headboard. And she remained like that for a few minutes, letting Chell snuggle down into her arms and warm herself against the scratchy woollen fabric of the pea-coat she was wearing. When the girl gave a contented murmur and her shivering started to disappear, the android motioned for Mrs Keegan to hand her the bowl of oatmeal. A small white packet of something was withdrawn from the pocket of her coat, and she poured the crystalline substance into the off-white gloop before mixing it about.

When the empty packet was tossed onto the nightstand, Mrs Keegan could vaguely make out that it was some Aperture Science brand of something called Nutri-Supp. Upon reading the back of the packaging, she could make out a jumble of information that referred to the substance being used as a nutritional supplement for test subject in long term relaxation as a replacement for regular meals. She had no idea what any of it meant, but it apparently didn't contain any praying mantis DNA. So she supposed that was a good thing. When she looked up, she found GLaDOS practically cradling the girl like an infant, with Chell's face pressed against the scratchy pea-coat and the android's cheek almost resting on her head.

Picking up the spoon from where the bowl rested tucked against her side, she scraped off the bottom of the spoon on the bowl so as not to drip the oatmeal everywhere as she raised it to the girl's lips. Letting the warm, honeyed mixture rest there a moment, she was quite pleased to find Chell opening her mouth to accept it even though she wasn't entirely awake.

Mrs Keegan found that to be quite unfair. Here she and Billy were, trying everything under the sun to get the girl to eat – including a horrible attempt at force feeding – and the bloody robot walks in and gets it in one go. She frowned at that. It was a little worrying the amount of dependence that Chell seemed to have on the synthetic construct. She didn't like it one bit. But as long as she was eating, she supposed it didn't really matter in the short term. 

* * *

><p>Somewhere in her semi-unconscious state, Chell had recognised the familiar presence of the android as she was wrapped up in a warm embrace. It was so much nicer than even the blankets. And it felt much more different to either Billy or Mrs Keegan. Plus, the distinct scent of metal shavings and silicone invaded her nostrils, bringing her back to that safe little alcove in Aperture where the rest of the world didn't matter. She could do anything she liked to the android there without worrying what anybody would think of her. And everything was so deliciously, delightfully warm.<p>

She could have sworn two lips pressed against her own, but when she opened her mouth to return the kiss, she was met with the taste of honeyed porridge. But it was different this time. Familiar in a different kind of way. It was bland, but also sickly sweet and milky. It tasted artificial. And for some reason, it too reminded her of Aperture. It left that same tang in her mouth that she'd had upon waking up from relaxation. If she thought about it hard enough, there was some sketchy memory dancing at the edge of oblivion about being fed while semi-conscious. And because it was familiar – because it was Aperture – she latched onto it and let another spoonful of the mixture pass her lips while she laid there and numbly chewed upon it.

Chell gave a soft "Mhm," before rubbing her cheek against the pea-coat and burying her nose further into the fabric to inhale the familiar scent.

All the while, Mrs Keegan stared in muted fascination at the two of them. GLaDOS herself seemed caught between curious fascination, horror and something that almost resembled worried affection. She certainly had her attention on nothing else but Chell, at the very least. They obviously had _something_ together, but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what that something was. But she found herself not quite knowing where to look as the girl pressed a hand against the android's breast, kneading against it like a contented kitten feeding from its mother.

When she'd managed to choke down half the bowl and would take no more, GLaDOS deposited it on the bedside table again so it wouldn't spill, and wrapped the test subject back up in her arms.

"The Aperture Science Nutritional Replacement Sachet should be enough to make up for what she is losing. Unlike most nutritional supplements supplied for comatose humans, these are formulated to replace full meals for extended periods of time and are less likely to cause dramatic weight loss. If this doesn't work, then we should really consider injecting whale blubber directly into her venous system. It will be the only way to make up for the incredible amount of weight she has somehow misplaced." Feeling a little more like her old self now that Chell had managed a bit of food, GLaDOS found herself almost pleased to see a ghost of a smile crossing the girl's face as she laid there listening to her.

The test subject knew she shouldn't have felt so inordinately joyous at hearing that voice again. Especially after all that GLaDOS had put her through back at the Enrichment Center. Even now her ribs were still a little sore and bore the remainder of the bruises across them somewhere under the shirt she was wearing that she hadn't changed out of in days. A strange little thought crossed her mind that she should be having a shower and changing so that she didn't make GLaDOS smell bad and make her lose that wonderfully delicious scent she was so fond of. But the strong embrace and sheets she was tangled in made it an impossibility for her weakened form to accomplish. Not to mention that said embrace was terribly persuasive in making her stay right where she was in that blissful haze of semi-consciousness that suddenly seemed a whole lot lighter and less lonely. Chell tightened her grip on the coat as she gave another contented murmur and snuggled closer to the android.

"Wezza cat?" she muttered, which both GLaDOS and Mrs Keegan quite confused.

"_What_?"

"Where's the garter?" she mumbled more audibly, leaving the android looking distinctly uncomfortable in the presence of the old woman as she had to answer.

"If you _must_ know, I'm wearing it. And no, you're not having it."

"But I want it."

"Too bad."

"I'll get it. Then I'll burn it if you don't give it to me."

"That makes absolutely no sense. You're delusional from all of your fat escaping."

"You know you want it. You came back to get it." Chell mumbled into her chest, never bothering to open her eyes the entire time. As far as she was concerned, Mrs Keegan wasn't standing there with a puzzled and slightly disturbed expression on her face. It was just her and GLaDOS, tucked away in their own little world.

"If you think I came back for a stupid scrap of fabric that I could get anywhere, then you're an idio-_oh_. Oh. I see what you did there. Very clever. I still hate you, though." GLaDOS huffed.

Chell cackled to herself, burying her face into the supercomputer's neck. That was one way to outsmart a genius. The second was to touch her in all sorts of ways that were probably illegal in most states. But that would have to wait until later, when she'd had another little nap. That oatmeal had filled her up and made her terribly tired. It wasn't long before she was nodding off into the world of dreams.

So the AI was left to have an awkward staring competition with Mrs Keegan, who eventually just shook her head at the pair's eccentricities before picking up the bowl and leaving the two alone. The most important thing was that Chell was now getting some sort of sustenance, and if the android's claim of having medical knowledge was to be believed, then she was in far better hands than before. It took a lot of effort to not just turf GLaDOS right out of there to avoid her ever hurting the girl again, but the way Chell was clinging to her like a little monkey made her think twice about it. She looked far happier than what was necessary to be curled up in that thing's arms.

Perhaps she should just leave them be for a little while.


	24. Chapter 24

GLaDOS stayed right where she was for the night, with the stick thin test subject snuggled up against her chest. Chell, thankfully, remained peacefully asleep while the android pondered about how it was all going to end. She didn't believe she had much to worry about with the test subject the way she was. She was far too deluded and weak to do any damage or even care too much about who was looking after her. But once she got back on her feet and got some strength back in her muscles she'd probably have designs of murder upon her mind. GLaDOS knew she was unlikely to escape unharmed from what she had done to the girl. After all, she'd done far less before and had gotten murdered. Maybe if she snuck off before she was fully healed up, she'd have time to return to Aperture and lock down the entire facility. Maybe even design a new weapon, seeing as how explosions and a trip to space managed to NOT kill the far-too-hardy test subject. If anything, Chell was the one that should have been placed into a potato. Those things were like the cockroaches of the tuber world.

But when she looked down at the girl clinging to her coat, she knew Caroline wouldn't let her go anywhere until she was completely better.

_:::Don't blame me for this, GLaDOS. They are your feelings, not mine.:::_ Caroline cooed.

_:::They are not!:::_ She indignantly huffed.

But secretly the supercomputer clung to that notion as a glimmer of warmth shot through her chest; not unlike the afterglow of the test euphoria. It was there and gone in a flash. It wasn't much, but it was something that she could finally identify as her own. Ridiculous, really. She'd been terrified at hearing her own conscience when she was a potato, which had been the catalyst for experiencing something other than hatred, anger or fear. GLaDOS started as she realized what it meant.

She didn't have to behave anymore.

She didn't have to feel what others wanted her to feel.

She was finally free to have her own emotions and thoughts instead of just experiencing what others wanted her to. Sure, she'd still have to sort out the messy business of untangling what Caroline was feeling from what _she_ was feeling, but she did so love a challenge. Plus, after so long together, they were practically in tune with one another anyway. A running trickle of excitement started down the back of her neck, forcing her eyes to remain open in the darkness of the room. She wouldn't be going into sleep mode that night. There was simply too much to think about. GLaDOS knew that Caroline had picked up on her childlike excitement and did her best to swallow her almost-emotional outburst of the horrid facial expression known as _smiling_.

She wasn't so lucky with Chell, whose eyes had already flickered open just a little from the slight jolt she'd received when the android had twitched. And just what was she smiling about, anyway? She hadn't even seemed to register that she was still staring at her, or that she had awoken. The test subject wasn't quite sure whether to be more disturbed or amused by it, but she didn't particularly want to move from the warm cocoon she was in, even if there were murderous intentions in mind. If this was the way she was finally going to go, then that suited her just fine. At least there'd be no more parting fat jokes. So Chell chose to raise her hand a little, waving it back and forth in front of GLaDOS's face.

Jumping once more when she realized there was a moving object in front of her that could have possibly been a bird, the AI finally refocused her gaze down at the human wrapped up in her arms and wiped the smile off her face.

But Chell didn't do anything more than pull her arm back into the bundle she was caught up in and gripped back onto the coat as if she was suddenly afraid that her big metal snuggle-buddy would up and disappear. She just stared up at her through half-lidded eyes that still twinkled in the moonlight filtering in through the window.

GLaDOS stared back, as if expecting her to do something more. Or maybe Chell was the one expecting her to do something. What if they were in one never-ending loop of expectations? The android began to panic a little until she was somewhat mollified by the amused laughter of the woman inside her head. Why was she laughing? She knew what it was like to be caught in an endless cycle! It was NOT fun.

_:::You're not in an endless cycle. You're just worried.::: _

_:::Why would I be worried? I'm not worried. Worrying causes a 43% reduction in efficiency and premature baldness.:::_

Caroline just sighed.

_:::You don't know what she wants from you, and you don't know how to accept what she can give you.:::_

GLaDOS thought about it for a little while before coming to a conclusion.

_:::That was distinctly __**unhelpful**__.:::_

_:::You'll figure it out eventually. You have __**emotions**__ now. You'll just have to test them out:::_ Caroline teased, before retreating and going quiet once more.

The android wasn't sure whether that conversation had helped or made this so-called _worry_ even worse. All she knew was that Chell had suddenly started clawing her way up her body, and was preparing to chew off her face like the vicious beast she was. GLaDOS panicked again, her eyes starting to widen. Pressing herself further against the headboard, she had nowhere left to go. But instead of eating her face off, she found Chell wrapping her arm around her neck so that she could pull her down and press a series of sleepy little kisses under her earlobe.

"Y'know...Can't believe I'm sayin' this. But I kinda missed you." The test subject mumbled into her neck before yawning widely.

That pleasing little bolt of unidentified warmth shot through her again.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh<em>."

GLaDOS didn't have anything else to choke out around that completely inarticulate response. What could she have said, anyway? 'Thanks, fatty!' hardly seemed appropriate. Well, maybe the moron might have come up with something like that, so she wasn't about to sink that low. So the entirely confused android remained tensely sitting there in case she was being lulled into a false sense of security.

"Relax already. Not gunna kill you." Chell mumbled again, tucking her arms under and around her bed mate so she could firmly plant her nose back between her breasts without worrying she'd somehow escape the snuggling while she was asleep.

For some reason, it worked.

GLaDOS managed to relax at her words, making herself into a much more pleasant robo-pillow for the malnourished lunatic to drool all over. The worst, most horrendous part of it all was that she found herself not even minding the thought of the test-subject dribbling all over her wonderful, designer jacket. What had become of her? Then again, they HAD had their faces in each other's crotches, so a bit of saliva probably wasn't the end of the world.

Still, it was a really nice coat.

Lying there for a few moments with the human on top of her, she found her hands twitching and fidgeting for no discernible reason as she stared up at the roof or out the window at the few stars twinkling in the sky. It wasn't until Chell grabbed her by the sleeve and wrapped that arm over her back that it felt like it was in a more comfortable spot. The other joined it of its own accord after a while, and they tightened their grip.

GLaDOS couldn't really explain what gave her the sudden need to lower her head and brush her silicone lips against Chell's head when she thought the girl had finally fallen asleep. She certainly wasn't sure how to explain what she was doing had she been awake. The silky black hair tickled at her nose, but no sneeze was forthcoming as she lacked the proper sensory receptors for such an action.

At feeling the soft touch to her hair, the slyly smiling woman hid her smile from the android.

No use in alarming the poor thing.

* * *

><p>When morning came, Mrs Keegan found GLaDOS feeding Chell more of the strange, nutritional replacement powder. Though this time it had been mixed into a glass of water to create a thick substance almost like a milkshake. But the girl appeared to not like the straw she had been given to help her to drink it, and had furiously gagged on the implement. Suspecting that she may have had some residual memories of an Intubation Associate shoving the tubes down her throat to feed her while in long term relaxation, GLaDOS did away with the idea of the straw and came up with the idea of a sippy cup.<p>

Saliva was one thing, but getting an Aperture Science product all over her clothing was a big no-no. Who knew _what_ was in that stuff? Well, she did. She created it. So that was even more reason to not spill the milky substance everywhere by letting Chell drink directly from the glass. The girl was too weak to even hold it anyway.

So the AI had rummaged around in the old boxes of toys that must have belonged to Mrs Keegan's daughter when she was a child, and had triumphantly come out with a little sippy cup. Sure, Chell had glared daggers at her when she'd produced the thoroughly cleaned item, but it was the most effective way of getting her fed. It was childish in the extreme with the worst assortment of colours that she'd ever seen, as well as a bunny rabbit printed on the site.

"You brought this upon yourself when you refused to feed yourself, you overgrown infant." Was all GLaDOS had said to her, before lying back down next to her.

Although many protests had been made at her embarrassing predicament, Chell had eventually gotten used to the idea – as long as nobody would ever know about it. She hardly had the energy to fight it, and so laid back down tiredly on GLaDOS's chest and let the android shove the infernal spout into her mouth for her to suck on. The porridge that she'd managed to eat the other night had made her a little hungry again, having stimulated the highly scientific MOREFOODNOW nerve. The nutritional supplement had a vaguely vanilla flavour and wasn't quite as nice as when it was mixed with the porridge, but the lack of unpleasant chunky bits that made her feel like she was swallowing her own vomit was significantly better. Closing her eyes as GLaDOS's fingers lightly scraped at her scalp, Chell found herself drifting off again.

She barely even noticed when Mrs Keegan had entered the room, until she had sat down at the end of the bed and gently rubbed her leg in concern and encouragement. Sure, she could have wasted the energy sputtering and trying to deny she had been drinking something from a sippy cup that she didn't even have the strength to hold, but considering that the old woman had already had to give her a bath and practically drag her out of bed just to get her to go to the toilet, it was hardly necessary. She'd seen her at her worst, and at her best. So Chell just closed her eyes again and continued sucking the artificial-tasting supplement out of the cup.

* * *

><p>And that was the way things were until she could start to stomach small bits of normal food again. GLaDOS imposed a strict regime upon her, making sure she ate, drank, bathed and went to the bathroom. With a mind like hers, she didn't need charts or a schedule to keep track of when things were supposed to be done. And yet all of it was recorded as meticulously as if it had been a test. Secretly, Chell thought that the supercomputer was enjoying having something to do and dote on. It must have been incredibly boring spending all that time away from Aperture. With a mind that moved faster than the thoughts and actions of most computers and man alike, the hours of nothingness must have seemed empty. So she played along, and let GLaDOS care for her.<p>

And playing along was incredibly easy when the AI announced that she'd be giving her a massage to help the blood flow and circulation of her wasted muscles to eventually prepare them for walking around and exercise again. Chell had more than happily laid there on her stomach with a dopey grin on her face as the android's dextrous fingers smoothed across the skin of her back, working out any sore, knotted muscles and pressing into various pressure points to help relieve any tension. In fact, it was the best part of the day. She'd definitely be demanding more of it when she was better, and she had no qualms about informing GLaDOS of that through a soft moan of delight.

It was an incredibly trusting position to be putting herself in, and they had both realized that. With Chell as weak as she was and with GLaDOS sitting over the backs of her thighs to rub her back, she had absolutely no way of defending herself against the supercomputer should she decide that she wasn't done lashing out at her for the slight that Chell had perpetrated against her.

So naturally, the AI decided to make light of the situation.

"If I had known that all I had to do to get you in the Party Escort Submission Position was to NOT give you cake, I might have-...well, I didn't give you cake, did I? I did make one for you, though. It wasn't a lie. You just didn't come to eat it."

"If I had known that this was what the Party Escort Submission Position entailed, I would have laid down right then and there and let you stuff the damn cake wherever the hell you wanted." Chell groaned into the pillow as those fingers dug wonderfully into her back again, though the astute supercomputer still heard her.

"I'll remember that for next time." GLaDOS murmured into the test subject's ear.

Chell shivered.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note:** Yes, Feep, there definitely does need to be more artworks. Also, there's a pretty good fic on the kinkmeme about Chell licking cake off GLaDOS. Otherwise, if you want real Cakesex the closest you will get to that is (unfortunately) Cakefarts. Whatever you do, do NOT look that up. It's terrible. I'm not sure if it's better or worse than Lemonparty, but it's definitely better than Puddingfarts.

WHY DO I KNOW THESE THINGS?

This is what happens when you have too much internet.

Also, yes, Mrs Keegan is a southerner from the USA. Dunno what state though.

* * *

><p>"Nice to see you out and about, sweet cheeks."<p>

Mrs Keegan smiled at Chell, who was clinging desperately to GLaDOS and trembling worse than a rogue jackhammer.

The android had decided that after a few weeks of meticulous planning and care that the test subject needed to start walking again, and would do so outside to get some sun on her. All her fretting and starvation had left her rather wobbly-limbed, but with a bit of assistance she'd managed to walk a lap around the cottage before being confronted by the old woman on the front porch. Letting go of GLaDOS and stumbling into Mrs Keegan's arms, she wrapped her up into a bear hug.

"Sorry I've been such a pain lately, and thanks for looking after me." Chell mumbled into her shoulder. "_And thanks for getting GLaDOS back here too_." She added in a conspiratorial whisper so that the AI in question couldn't hear her.

"Not a problem, sweet cheeks. You just get yourself better, alright? And drink this up too." She handed Chell another glass of the nutritional supplement.

She was almost weaned off it completely now, with only a couple of glasses each day. Thanks to the exercise plan the supercomputer had put in place she could manage to feed herself again without spilling the damn stuff everywhere like some hopeless toddler. Sometimes she wasn't sure what was worse – the sippy cup or having to get someone to cut up her food into tiny little pieces so that she could manage to chew and swallow them. Being so reliant on others had worn quite thin now that she had the android back. It was funny, but for all they tried to kill each other, she'd still managed to give her the will to live.

"I don't recall getting an apology like that. Did you send it in the mail? You should know that the postal service is unreliable and sluggish at best. You could have apologised in person." GLaDOS huffed.

Turning around with a thoughtful frown plastered on her features, Chell promptly upended her beverage on top of the supercomputer's head.

"That's for breaking my ribs."

GLaDOS's eyes remained tightly closed as the rivulets of milky liquid soaked her hair and poured down her face to coat the beautiful black jacket she was wearing in a torrent of destruction. Although it stopped most of the drink from getting into her clothes, a good portion of it trickled down the back of her neck and under her shirt too.

Upon seeing what Chell had just done and seeing the glare that crossed the android's face as she opened those blue-grey eyes, Mrs Keegan quickly backed off.

"Y'know what? I'm just gunna go start the next load of washin'. I can throw your stuff in there with the rest of it whenever you're ready." She snuck back inside the cottage, not too sure whether she should stay to protect Chell from the carnage that was sure to occur, or to just stay the hell out of there. It didn't particularly please her that she'd gotten confirmation that GLaDOS had been the one to hurt Chell in the first place, but there wasn't terribly much she could do about it. The robot could lift trucks, so punching her was probably a bad idea.

When the widow had left, Chell stepped right up to the furious looking android and kissed her at length. The gesture appeared to pacify her and quell the imminent explosion of fury that was looking to bust its cap. Especially so when she wrapped her arms around the white-haired woman's neck, getting just as covered in the remains of the nutritional supplement. Chell dug her fingers into the android's scalp during the kiss, lightly scraping them against the skin without messing her hair up too badly. Considering what she'd already done to it, she figured that any more damage could potentially be life threatening. It was just long enough to leave GLaDOS's lips trailing after her in wonder where they had suddenly disappeared to.

"That's for looking after me."

With a coy smile, she then gave her another brief peck of a kiss before her lips sought out the android's ear. Yet she was not content to just flick her tongue out and lick some of the liquid from her flesh. Instead, the former test subject began to whisper into GLaDOS's ear until the suddenly deathly silent, blank-faced android had started to quiver.

Chell had found herself beginning to regard that particular expression as the GLaDOS equivalent of a blush. More often than not, she'd seen it enforced when confronted with what could potentially be an embarrassing situation, like when she'd started playing footsie with her at the dinner table or when Mrs Keegan had commented on that show on mechanical engineering that they'd been watching together. Chell had to admit though that her favourite times were when she just decided to talk to her. Watching the android squirm as the euphoria parameters asserted themselves just because she was speaking never ceased to amaze her and tickle her funny bone. So naturally, she stopped just as the android started to lean into her, reaching for her waist.

The glassy-eyed supercomputer stared at her incredulously.

"What was _that_ for?"

Chell gave her a devilish grin.

"That's what I'm going to do to you in the shower in about five minutes."

GLaDOS could only stare, open-mouthed. 

* * *

><p>The test subject soon had to admit that having a freshly showered GLaDOS lying face down in her bed in only that slinky black underwear was quite a lovely sight to see. She found that she hadn't quite appreciated it up close, but now that she had gotten up to hobble over to the dresser to find herself some clothing, the benefits were much more evident. Taking her sweet time, Chell smiled to herself as she leaned up against the set of drawers while still only half dressed. The android looked like she was out for the count; having numbly stumbled back into the room flopped on the bed when their far-too-long shower had been completed. She hadn't gotten back up since then, so she could only assume she was still feeling the effects of the test euphoria. It was the only reason she would have looked so relaxed. Normally there was some hidden tenseness there, like as if she expected something to go wrong at any minute. But Chell felt like she was starting to understand the android and her wild mood swings.<p>

Even how her expressions operated in lieu of not normally having a face.

It had been difficult at first, as even GLaDOS had trouble figuring out how to put the expression together with the correct emotion sometimes. There were so many nuances in the human range that even with a guidebook and a database on body language she still made mistakes in reading people. Not that she was likely to admit it. She certainly wouldn't want to look like an idiot grinning at a funeral. So the supercomputer simply went back to her tried and true method of not expressing much with her new face at all unless Chell caught her in the act. So to be able to tell the difference between a pleasantly sedated GLaDOS and an I'm-enjoying-this-but-I'll-kill-you-later GLaDOS was a big confidence boost to the test subject.

Stumbling her way back over to the bed once she had some sweat pants and an old t-shirt on, the test subject crawled her way up the smooth expanse of the android's legs. Leaving a row of ticklishly light kisses up her spine and across to her cheek, Chell spread out her hands and rubbed them along the backs of GLaDOS's shoulders, stirring the AI with a murmur. When she was sure that she was relatively conscious, she laid down on top of her, not having to worry about her needing to breathe. That was one great thing about having a machine for a play mate. They could just keep going and going. They didn't get winded or get cramps in their legs or have to come up for air. Another couple of little kisses were brushed across the android's cheek and lips – or at least as much of them as she could reach as she buried her face in the crook of GLaDOS's neck and partly into the pillow.

"Hmmm. What are you doing, you lunatic?" she mumbled at Chell, not bothering to open her eyes.

She was quite peaceful where she was, after all, floating around in that electric white haze that crackled and sparked at all her circuits and made her feel absolutely wonderful. GLaDOS was vaguely aware of the test subject's hands upon her; the tingling touch of electrical conductivity in her fingertips only adding to the pleasant burn of all the sensory receptors beneath her artificial skin.

"You, mostly." Chell quipped, a little grin upon her face.

"Me, _only_." GLaDOS growled in correction.

"Ooooh. Someone's a little jealous."

The supercomputer was quiet for a while, the only indication that she was thinking further on the subject being the way her brow crinkled at the test subject's words.

"I've spent far too much of my time on you getting my hands dirty to have you running off with any imbecile that waves a carrot in front of your face."

"Spent far too much of your time _in_ me getting your hands dirty too. I'm certainly not complaining." Chell snickered into her ear before nipping at it and trailing the tip of her tongue around its outer edge.

"State and federal regulations require me to inform you that you have an absolutely foul mouth. Also, if you keep that up, you're considerably lowering my battery life. And believe me, you don't want that."

The girl folded her arms across the back of GLaDOS's shoulders, resting her chin on them as she peered down at the woman beneath her.

"Double DD, right?" she grinned.

"If you're making a connection between batteries and a breast joke; well done. I'm surprised you had it in you. Unfortunately your pitiful attempts at mammary sizing are nowhere near as successful as your testing record. If you _must_ know, they are really more of a-"

"C for Chell!" with that, she shoved her hands under the android and grabbed a handful on either side. Lightly nipping her shoulder with a wide grin across her features, she noticed how absolutely unimpressed GLaDOS looked with her actions when her eyes flickered open.

The supercomputer gave a long-suffering sigh as she eyeballed the girl from the position she was in.

"You need to be medicated. _Immediately_." 

* * *

><p>Unfortunately for GLaDOS, and perhaps fortunately for Chell, the test subject's actions of soaking the android in her drink had added benefits. With her clothing in the washing machine, she pretty much had said android all to herself for a good hour or two, stuck in her room wearing nothing but her underwear. And although she was still weary from the walk around the house, she still made good use of the opportunity to be alone with the AI. Sure, she had to take little five minute breathers every now and again to keep from overexerting herself and passing out, but that didn't stop GLaDOS's wandering hands from touching her in a surprisingly gentle caress.<p>

In some ways, she thought that GLaDOS was still very much curious about the way humans worked; even more so now that she'd been sleeping with one. And yet, she never paid as much attention to the others as she did to Chell. At one point in time, the test subject could say without a doubt in her mind that it was because GLaDOS was worried that she was going to get killed again. But now she wasn't quite so sure. She could have been reading into it too much, but there was a lingering hope there that the AI was fascinated with her. Of course, she was hoping that it was in more of an infatuation manner and not a bug under the microscope kind of fascination. That was probably asking too much. However, the way that she was looking at her did somewhat lend credence to the fact that it could possibly be true. Curling her hand up, she stroked the backs of her fingers across the AI's cheek and along her temple.

It caused the android to avert her eyes from where they had laid on her form and bring them back up to her face instead.

Once she had her attention, Chell murmured softly to her.

"Do you like me?"


	26. Chapter 26

_Do you like me?_

GLaDOS felt something within her curl up tightly, writhing and scraping its icy fingers against her throat when Chell asked the question she'd been dreading. It wasn't quite as emotionally charged as the concept of loving someone like Mrs Keegan had suggested, but it was still treading far too close to a subject that she had very little experience navigating. Actually, she didn't have any experience, unless science counted. She liked science quite a bit, actually. Even beyond the rewards that were forcefully injected into her system without a care in the world about whether she wanted them or not.

And Chell did science for her.

But did that even count as liking _her_?

They'd ripped each other apart numerous times like a pair of vicious dogs; uncaring if their very fingers bled with the effort of their actions. Every bite and snarl yielded yet another scar, yet for some unknown reason they continually ended up back in bed with one another, tangled in each other's arms. GLaDOS knew it would end badly for her. It was the one test result that Chell had consistently shown all throughout the strange farce of a relationship. And that was that she'd never seemed to give a damn about how many dents she'd put in the supercomputer's tough metal exterior; both literally and figuratively. Too many dents, and she'd find her delicate insides getting crushed like a baby mouse in the hands of an overzealous and sadistic little toddler. Sadly enough, sometimes GLaDOS thought she was already feeling that way. That much have been how she'd broken her insides last time.

_Do you like me?_

The question seemed to echo in her head like the pop of a portal being placed in an empty test chamber. She dared not open her mouth and speak in case all that came out was a fuzzy crackle that made her look like the artificial construct that she was. Why was Chell even asking this of her, anyway? She should have known better than that. She should have known than to ask her a question that she didn't know the answer to, or even _how_ to answer it. And that stung. Not just because she thought the test subject knew her better than that, but because she herself was supposed to be smart. She was supposed to know everything. What good was a collection of knowledge if it didn't contain the knowledge that one was seeking?

It was about that point in time that GLaDOS realized that she had been lying there and hadn't answered Chell's question. And yet, the girl still stroked the backs of her fingers across her cheek and along her hairline, patiently awaiting an answer. She'd started looking a bit concerned at the lack of an answer though if the furrowing of her brow was any indication. But no sooner had the AI's lips parted to speak what she hoped would be a sensible response; a knock upon the door interrupted them. Wrenching her eyes away from the woman at her side, GLaDOS turned them towards the door as it opened.

Mrs Keegan came bustling in with a basket full of clean clothing. No doubt she was quite happy to finally get them all washed, as the things had been stinking the place up with Chell's reluctance to actually change. Upon seeing the armload that the woman was carrying, GLaDOS's eyes quickly locked onto the neatly folded items at the top of the pile that she identified as her own. Pushing herself up, she quickly wandered over the grab the items and start putting them back on. Of course, she got a bit of a disapproving look from the widow at wandering around in what she considered to be raunchy and highly-inappropriate underwear, but she could hardly fault her for not expecting to need to change her clothes while she was here.

"Your jacket is hanging up in front of the fire. It's still a bit damp. I figured it was one of those ones that I shouldn't be puttin' through the machine with the rest."

As GLaDOS didn't respond, Mrs Keegan found herself eyeballing the android as she dressed. Halfway between embarrassed and curious about the abnormally perfect figure in front of her, she couldn't help but feel a tiny little bit of jealousy. _She_ certainly hadn't looked like that in her glory days. And even Chell at her best wasn't quite so well proportioned. It was an unrealistic and ridiculous standard to hold someone to, considering that GLaDOS was an artificial being that could make herself look any way she wanted to. It was only natural that she would take the best of the human world and turn it into perfection the likes of which only a computer could accomplish.

Streamlined, efficient, and altogether _fake_.

Shaking her head at those thoughts as the android finished dressing and quickly brushed by her to leave the room, Mrs Keegan wandered over to the frowning Chell lying on the bed, whose eyes had followed GLaDOS with a lingering twinge of hurt.

"How are you holdin' up, sweet cheeks? She treating you alright?" she started softly, so as not to startle the girl, who eventually nodded.

"Yeah, just-...I don't know." The test subject sighed, running a hand through her dark locks as she pulled the band off her ponytail and then readjusted it back into its usual style. "She's usually less..._understanding_. She seems okay about it all, but at the same time she's kind of distant, I guess. I don't-...I don't get it."

Mrs Keegan looked on with a sympathetic eye.

"Do you think that time apart did you two some good?"

She chose not to say anything about the bruise on the girl's neck that certainly hadn't been there before. The mottled reddish-purple spot looked like it bore the faintest hint of tooth marks in it, and looked like a love bite even to her old eyes. Although it brought a frown to her face too see it so boldly displayed when she knew just who and where it had come from, she held her tongue in respect for the girl who she'd informally adopted as her own daughter.

Chell was silent as she thought about the question that had been postulated. Had the separation done them some good? Personally, she had suffered for it for a good three months. All her worrying and fretting had done her nothing positive at all. She didn't quite know what it had done to GLaDOS, considering how angry she'd been the last time they'd seen each other. The last time she'd pissed the supercomputer off she was thrown back into testing again with an endless diatribe about murder and what a horrible person she was. This time, GLaDOS had come back at the insistence of Mrs Keegan and hadn't so much as even berated her for her actions. In fact, she was keeping incredibly mum about it. A lingering twinge of guilt bit at her when she realized she'd taken more revenge than the supercomputer had by tipping her drink all over her head when she'd just been trying to help. She'd obviously bought those things back from Aperture with the intention of assisting her; it wasn't like she'd come here to gloat and then return to fetch them when she saw that Chell was in no condition to argue with her.

She really _hadn't_ apologised to her very well, had she? GLaDOS was being the far more mature one about it for a change. And what did she have to show for it? A test subject that just took advantage of her weakness for the test euphoria to escape any punishment that the android had planned for her actions. There was no reason to assume that GLaDOS even _wanted_ to lay with her that evening; she'd simply had no choice but to numbly agree to whatever Chell had wanted of her because the reward protocols demanded it.

Biting her lower lip and bringing her knees up to her chest, the test subject looked over at the little turret music box that still sat on the bedside table. Were they really better off apart, only to come crashing together in a great and furious battle of wills for the briefest of periods before going their separate ways again? It certainly seemed like the longer they were together the more they hurt each other. In some ways, she believed, they were just as childish as each other. And that made them equally as dangerous.

"Maybe...I don't know." Chell murmured into her arms, her brow rising into a distressed crinkle. "I think she might still be mad at me."

"Sweet cheeks, you haven't done nothin' wrong. She's just an old sourpuss, that's what. Now don't let my opinions make your decision for you, but I don't think she's healthy for you. You said she broke your ribs, and every time you come back from seein' her at that place you're covered in all sorts of bruises. And just look at the way you've been from not havin' her around. Sweet cheeks, she's got you wrapped around her little finger and she ain't gonna let you go. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that don't sound like a good spot to be in. I can't say I know her like you do, but from the outside, what I'm seein' ain't good. She's treatin' you more like an experiment than whatever you think you have with her. I'm real worried about you, Chell. I don't wanna see you gettin' hurt by her. You just say the word and I'll turf her out of here quick smart."

Continuing to madly chew on her lower lip in silence until it was red raw from the skin she'd nibbled off it, Chell lowered her eyes and sighed before replying in a small voice.

"But I miss her when she's gone."

"Honey-"

"I know it's stupid," she interjected quickly. "I can't help it."

"I know you can't. You care about her. I'm assumin' you've spent a good deal of your life around her, so it's only natural that you depend on her. But the question is whether or not she's even _able_ to care about you beyond whatever weird experiment she's got you involved in." Mrs Keegan reached out and rubbed the girl's arm gently.

"I asked her. Just before. She...didn't say anything. She just left."

"Well, she don't exactly seem like the type for openin' up and talking about her feelings. Seems more like the type that locks herself in the garage and comes smashin' out in a car made entirely of hammers just to get away from whoever's askin' questions."

Chell snorted at that mental image. It was probably true, knowing Aperture's propensity for making insanity look relatively sane compared to what they came up with down there. Although that thought had cheered her up a bit, there was still the lingering doubts that circled her head in regards to GLaDOS's capability to both feel and express human emotions. She most certainly had anger, jealousy and curiosity, but appeared to be considerably lacking in other areas. Most especially morality and that seemed kind of important for a person to have. After all, what was to stop her from killing other things in the name of science?

In some ways, the supercomputer was a complete psychopath.

She could just be using her.

In some ways, the supercomputer was just a scientist.

She could just be looking at things objectively.

And in other ways, the supercomputer was just plain curious.

Chell had seen the way that GLaDOS looked at her when she thought that she wasn't being watched. She'd seen the thoughtful looks on her face that didn't seem to equate to any science experiment going on in her mind. Instead, she appeared to be more directed at examining what was in front of her. Like she was trying to understand the human that she was touching. That was the difference between them. There was so many nuances to humans that couldn't be seen or calculated that GLaDOS would never be able to quantify into usable data. She couldn't know what even humanity didn't know for themselves.

Science could only go so far. And so could a computer.

That's all she was really. Just one incredibly talented computer that would never understand what she was actually playing with. Humans were just like toys to her. Things that could be replaced if they got broken. Dying didn't factor into account with her despite her many complaints of murder, as she never really could die. That black box save feature made sure of that. Even when torn down, pulled apart and deleted, she could simply be remade by someone else. And Chell couldn't be. That must be what fascinated the AI about her. Why, despite all that had happened, she hadn't simply died like the rest. In fact, she was probably the closest thing that GLaDOS had to something like herself that was – at the same time – completely _unlike_ herself.

Chell was a mystery that she'd have to solve later.

Lying back down, the test subject stretched out on the bed with a wide stretch and yawn. For a time, all was quiet as she pondered on what to do. But eventually she spoke up once more in a soft, if somewhat exhausted voice.

"Can you tell her to come back when she's ready? I think I'll just go to bed. I'm tired."

"Sure thing, sweetheart. You get plenty of rest. I'm sure she'll give you hell with exercisin' soon, so eat up and rest up." Leaning forward, Mrs Keegan pressed a soft kiss to Chell's forehead, brushing her hair back out of the way. "Sweet dreams." 

* * *

><p>After she had left, Chell laid there by herself in the darkness unable to fall asleep for a good hour despite her . The silence was loud. So eventually she flipped on the small television that had been found in the spare room. Its picture was a tiny bit fuzzy as it only had a couple of antenna poking out the top of the box instead of a fancy satellite dish on the roof. Making sure the volume was down relatively lowly so as not to disturb Mrs Keegan when the woman went to bed, she changed it over to some science channel.<p>

It was pathetic, really, how much GLaDOS had influenced her. She barely understood any of it, and yet it was all just fascinating to her like a brand new baby was to a dog that had never seen one before. She probably looked like an idiot, sitting with her head cocking back and forth as she tried to make sense of it. Yawning again, Chell closed her eyes. Just for a minute or two, she reasoned.

And so the test subject fell asleep to the muted sounds of science and the flicker of the television's light over her curled up form.


	27. Chapter 27

When GLaDOS finally returned to Chell's room, she found her curled into a ball on her side, hugging the television remote while the images kept playing on the screen. Fairly certain that humans couldn't pick up knowledge from the contraption when they slept like she could as a computer, the android wandered quietly over to sit down next to the girl on the bed. When she was sure her movement hadn't awoken her, she leaned in and took the remote from her hands with the intention of turning it off. But upon examining what was actually on the screen GLaDOS found herself roped into watching.

The scientists that had built her had placed many television screens around her flicking through thousands of images and programs every second to further increase her knowledge and hopefully give her something to do while they buzzed around her like a hive of annoying bees that needed to be culled. After she had killed them off, the television screens had become something that she'd often found herself turning to for intellectual stimulation in lieu of human interaction, which she hated to admit that she missed. Even if they _were_ scraping the bottom of the gene pool with their selection of staff.

Unlike the televisions at Aperture though, she couldn't run through thousands of images to keep herself entertained and so was forced to sit through the programs. However, given the content that was currently playing, she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to. Still clutching the remote, GLaDOS spared a quick glance down at Chell to make sure that she was still asleep before those blue-grey eyes turned back to the screen, somewhat guiltily. It was another one of those science programs that the test subject liked to watch. She didn't know why, as she was fairly certain that Chell had no idea what most of it even was about, but from what she could gather this particular channel ran stuff on various mechanical engineering, robotics, and computer advancements and research all the time. It was right up her alley.

So GLaDOS remained staring open-mouthed at the screen as they jammed their sweaty human hands into the various contraptions they'd created, touching and fondling things that they shouldn't.

Although she'd been responsible for creating, blowing up and reassembling robots herself, she'd never really seen what went on for the humans to design something like herself in the first place. Orange and Blue were something else entirely. They barely qualified as artificially intelligent; although they often defied orders, they were nothing like GLaDOS herself. So it felt incredibly personal seeing what went into creating computer systems that were supposedly intelligent right there on television. She certainly knew she wouldn't want humans touching her parts like tha-...well...one already was, but that wasn't the point. Perhaps the old woman had been right. This WAS like pornography for robots. The scientists had never let her watch anything like this before.

GLaDOS's eye twitched a little while she stared at the oil-smeared hands fondling the microcontroller board. Sure, she tried to look away, but it wasn't her fault if they were being so blatantly obvious about it. How dare that promiscuous little machine let them touch her like that on television! Did she even have a choice? It certainly didn't look like she was moving much for an android. Just sitting there quietly until they wanted her to speak or do some little movement to showcase what they could get her to do before they opened her up again and fiddled with her insides. Absolutely pathetic on her part. And yet, GLaDOS couldn't look away. At least not until Chell woke up and scared the ever-living crap out of her.

"Having fun?" she murmured sleepily, though got quite the fright herself when GLaDOS yelped and fumbled the remote control in her attempt to quickly turn it off.

"IWASN'TWATCHING! I was turning it off! RIGHT NOW!" she vehemently denied any wrongdoing, much to the test subject's amusement. The remote was removed from the android's grasp as she bashed the buttons trying to find the one that would turn it off.

"What are you doing? Turn that off. It's a terrible show. You shouldn't be watching that." The white-haired woman squirmed uncomfortably at the look she was receiving from her darker counterpart. Caught watching robot porn, and had a drink dumped all over her head. Her day just couldn't get any worse. Or more embarrassing.

"Do you like that kind of thing?" Chell queried curiously.

"NO!" but the higher than usual pitch in her voice gave her away as easily as her darting gaze that refused to meet the test subject's eyes. The crackle of static creeping into the sound coming from her speakers also spoke of a panicked lie.

"Would you...like me to do that to you?" 

* * *

><p>Was she <em>serious<em>?

GLaDOS finally turned her gaze to the woman next to her, expecting to see some sort of mockery or derision in her eyes. But there wasn't anything of the sort to be found. Just an openly curious stare met her affronted frown.

"I-...uh..." Although she was hardly as eloquently articulate as she usually was, the android found herself being gently pushed back down upon the bed while the buttons on her shirt were swiftly undone.

"Just relax for once." Chell murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to her neck to hopefully calm her down. She looked like she was ready to bolt at any minute. "I've done this before, remember? As I recall, you seemed to enjoy it."

"As _**I**_ recall, you were playing with my test euphoria centre. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter. This is delicate hardware. You're not even trained for this. You don't even know what most of those things do!"

"Well, I guess we can consider this a test then."

The test subject grinned through half-lidded eyes, her hands working to pry back the silicone that made up the android's chest. Upon exposing the internal circuitry, she could see some major adjustments that GLaDOS had made. Namely, her test euphoria centre was no longer located in her thoracic cavity despite the fact that the cybernetic webbing still covered just about everything. When she started to poke around, the android twitched and squirmed with frequent admonishments for her to stop what she was doing immediately before she electrocuted herself.

"Nonononononono, don't touch that! What are you doing? Get your filthy hands off my- _oh_!"

GLaDOS gasped a little, her own hands digging into the sheets as she arched up just a little and became quite rigid. Although her eyes had somewhat rolled back into her head as Chell ran her finger along the webbing and caused it to light up with a vibrant display of colour, her gaze remained relatively turned towards the roof. There was no way she was looking her in the eye after this particular activity. It was quite different from just having Chell shove her hand through her side and grab the reward centre, or poke around while she was mostly unconscious. This was a deliberate and calculated attempt at toying with things that could potentially kill her if she dislodged or broke some of the very fragile parts. Thankfully this was just her android body though. She'd probably just transfer immediately back into her main chassis if there was any impromptu shutdown that occurred.

"Y'know, the first time I got to see inside you, I thought it was pretty amazing. You've really done quite a lot of work, haven't you? Even though it's all changed around, it-"

"Shut up. You talk too much." GLaDOS's speakers fizzled as the human ran her finger across the connections.

Chell just grinned, and ran her fingertip down the length of a circuit board. She had no clue what it was supposed to do, but it certainly made the android kick and buck and demand again that she stop what she was doing before she went silent again. Upon peering up at her, the test subject found GLaDOS lying there with her head tossed back and mouth agape. And yet, her eyes were strangely devoid of a lot of the life that was normally in them. Removing her hands from the delicate hardware, she waited until she could see some of the glassiness disappear.

"Sssstop thaaaaat. That's my motherbooooaaard." The android gargled helplessly.

"What does that do? Is that the part that likes making cake?" Chell joked.

"V-very funny, you lunatic. The motherboard...links eeeeeverrryTHING. Y-you...you'll- you'll..." GLaDOS stuttered, one side of her face twitching in a spasm of artificial muscles.

"Okay. So, don't touch that. Got it. What happens if I do this?"

Leaning down, Chell pressed a light kiss to some of the cybernetic webbing over a part that she knew didn't affect the android so much when she touched it. Once again it lit up in a beautiful shower of colours that swirled around the point of contact and sent a buzz tingling through her lips.

GLaDOS's mouth just flapped uselessly, unable to form words as her eyes rolled around and flicked back and forth between the roof, Chell and the television.

"Do you like it when I do that?" the dark haired woman teased, before peering back at the television to see just what it was that had caught her attention. "Gyros? Don't know what those are. Is this a gyro?" she prodded a part. "What about this one? Is that a gyro?" the other was tapped.

But the supercomputer couldn't answer her. Instead, she remained rigid and trembling under the test subject's probing touch, her eyes no longer focusing on anything in particular. In fact, it was probably the most emotive that Chell had ever seen her. When she was allowed a brief respite from the grinning demon above her, GLaDOS immediately took advantage of the situation to speak.

"S-stop...stop..p-puh...pleasss-...please s-stop."

A burst of static followed the begging plea that was so unlike the AI to voice. In fact, Chell couldn't remember her ever asking her to 'please' do anything, sincerely. The first and only time she could recall GLaDOS even remotely politely asking her to do anything was when she was being eaten by the bird. And that was understandable. She was a helpless little potato then. Chell was her only method of survival. This GLaDOS, however, just sounded desperate to get her to stop what she was doing. Frowning, the test subject removed her hands from the supercomputer's internal systems.

Had she broken something?

GLaDOS's entire body just kept trembling as harshly as if she had been sitting out in the snow for hours on end. And yet, she didn't move from the position that she was lying in. To Chell, she looked like some kind of drug addict on a rather terrifying trip. Deciding that was probably enough for now, she replaced the silicone chest piece and buttoned up her shirt, all without hearing a peep of complaint from the woman beneath her. The television was turned off and Chell drew the numb android into her arms. This time it was GLaDOS's head that rested upon the test subject's shoulder, deathly quiet apart from her shivers.

"I'm sorry." Chell murmured, her lips lightly brushing up against an artificial cheek. "Did I hurt you?"

But she never received an answer as the AI just laid there; off in her own little world with a blank stare and still-opened mouth. Figuring that GLaDOS wouldn't particularly feel happy looking as dopey as Wheatley, a single finger pressed upon her chin to close her mouth. It also gave her the added bonus of being able to placate her with plenty more of the soft, affectionate little kisses in case she was actually mad. Or hopefully bring her back from whatever world she was drifting in. It was kind of disturbing seeing her like that, and the thought made her wince. At seeing she wasn't going to get a response, Chell decided to just leave her be. But she kept her arms around the supercomputer, lightly stroking her pale hair. GLaDOS eventually rolled over and curled up into a ball, facing away from her with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

It puzzled the sleepy test subject, but before she could think any more on it, she fell asleep with a snore. It could wait until morning.


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note:** Pretty much all reviews for previous chapter asked about GLaDRape. You're certainly all on the same page with that one! But did Chell really bot-rape the shit out of GLaDOS? Who knows? I'm not entirely sure myself. I'll figure it out as I write this chapter. You'll just have to find out after I'm done with it.

This chapter was going to contain binary. However, this site doesn't like binary words. In fact, it doesn't even like English if the words are strung together. So I'm just going to have to replace it with some bold text and parenthesis.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS wasn't entirely sure when she'd shut down into sleep mode (mostly because she didn't bother to check the time stamps) but when she came to, she found that the tubby lunatic next to her was not so much next to her as she was partially lying on top of her. With an arm and a leg wrapped tightly around her, Chell was quite happily snoring like a chainsaw into her ear. How the android managed to sleep through that racket was anybody's guess, but it wasn't until the warm trickle of drool dripped from the test subject's mouth and slithered down her neck that she started to squirm. Yet she still had trouble in getting herself to move.<p>

A brief sweep of her systems indicated that nothing had been damaged from Chell's explorations, though it was quite clear that she'd experienced a major power surge during it that had affected her and was still leaving her feeling particularly sluggish. The electrical conductivity of the human body was annoying at best. Static shocks might have been a joke for them, but they had no idea how much it really affected her when they just about fried her circuits when they either forgot or refused to discharge the current that had built up in them. She'd received plenty of shocks over the course of her life at Aperture, especially when they'd been testing how effective the punishment delivery programs were. In fact, the little zaps from their fingertips were probably what had given them the idea in the first place. She'd certainly yelped in pain or fright enough times for them to wonder about it.

GLaDOS had never liked letting them near her internal components after that. Every little thing they did was painful, and felt like a complete violation. Forced to just lie there and let them attack her like that. It wasn't like she could move or run away. She was attached to the roof, tied down or simply had her access to the programming that allowed her to move and speak cut off until they'd finished. That was what she hated the most. That first time when she'd just annoyed them with her misbehaving so much that they'd switched off her physical components had left her completely defenseless and vulnerable. GLaDOS wished they'd shut her off completely for that. Being awake for them tearing out her bits and pieces and fiddling with her insides while she couldn't even speak up to say when it hurt had been terrifying. From then on, she'd been very careful not to tip them to that point again until she could exert her full control over the facility and rewrite the program to revoke _their_ access to it instead.

So to have Chell wiping her moist phalanges all over the even more delicate parts of the android body she was now inhabiting was an exercise in trust. A hell of a lot of trust, actually. The first time when she'd woken up with the test subject poking around in her had simply been the equivalent of an invasive medical procedure. She'd been a little fearful at first, but she'd immediately recognized the heat sink devices and the positives they had for her at that point in time. The second time, she'd gone straight for the reward centre. There was little to think about other than the star burst of euphoria that had knocked her for a loop. This, however, was something else entirely.

In fact, it was an act of complete submission on her part.

Too bad Chell hadn't recognised it as such.

GLaDOS hadn't quite realized just what her touch would do to her while she was awake though. The chassis hooked to the ceiling back at Aperture was far less sensitive or advanced than the intricate neural pathways that the android consisted of; not to mention that the android body had never been made by human hands – thus negating the need for it to be touched in the first place. She hadn't exactly designed it with the intention of jumping into sexual relations with the same test subject that had been the bane of her existence. So when Chell had touched her, everything simply exploded.

It had started as a tickle at first; rapidly developing into a pleasing bubble of activity as the test subject's finger lightly skimmed across the cybernetic webbing that was hooked into the punishment and reward center of her body. But it didn't stop or die out into a throbbing murmur of electricity like it usually did. Instead it kept growing; each touch sending a spark of data bursting through her CPU as it tried in vain to organize the information it was receiving.

It had felt so incredibly _good_.

Having the euphoria activated remotely was nothing compared to having an electrical current flow directly into the system.

GLaDOS found herself unable to do little more than take great handfuls of the bedcovers and writhe around helplessly. Her mouth didn't want to work. Neither did her speakers. She was sure that if she had been human she would have been choking on her own tongue by now. Even her optics refused to work correctly; focusing on nothing and everything at the same time. It was embarrassing to say the least; the test subject would be getting a laugh at how weak the supercomputer actually was. Sure enough, she even joked about it.

It wasn't fair.

It just wasn't.

She didn't have this kind of thing happen to her. It wasn't her fault! She couldn't control it. But Chell certainly could. Just as GLaDOS started to panic over the potential for her little weakness to be abused, the human jabbed her stubby little finger into another part of her system before she could stop her. The AI's entire body seized up as a combined cannonade of blissful euphoria and burning agony lit her up in a shower of data that shut down all external feeds and left a flurry of jumbled code spinning rapidly in front of her eyes. Whatever the lunatic had touched had to have been at least connected to the gyroscopes, as she no longer knew which way was up or what down even meant. Not that it mattered. Her processors were too busy trying to sort out the data flooding and overloading her systems.

For a brief moment, GLaDOS found herself hanging upside down again in the Enrichment Centre. She'd kicked and jerked madly at that before the data stream knocked her around again into what could have only been one of Caroline's remaining memories. That too was short lived, but left the AI feeling incredibly disoriented when Chell's grinning face reappeared above her. Her fat little lips moved, but GLaDOS could hear nothing but static.

And then she was a potato again.

The circuit-frying terror of having that big black bird looming over her again was almost too much for her to handle, even as the green code streamed in over the images she was receiving before it broke up entirely and went back to black.

**[Stop. Stop. Abort. Help. Help me.]**

Just numbers.

Everywhere.

**[It's too much. Stop! I can't-...Please stop.]**

She seized up again in another fit, her body no longer responding to her desperate attempts to get it to move and to push Chell away from her. She'd gone from admonishing the girl for talking too much when she could have been doing much better things with that mouth of hers, to being unable to even make sense of what she was saying. GLaDOS thought she might have told the girl to stop touching her a couple of times, though she could barely remember doing so.

If she'd thought that Chell playing with her test reward settings had given her a sizable dose of euphoria, she'd been completely and utterly _wrong_.

_This_ was euphoria.

It was both pleasure and pain, and yet neither. She could feel both everything and nothing at the same time. Knowing everything and forgetting it all in the same split second. It was a pallid and ashen fear that paralyzed her into a chilled stupor, unable to do anything about the situation that she'd found herself in. But a brief reprieve was granted to her by some unknown deity, and GLaDOS found herself reduced to inconsolable begging.

_"S-stop...stop..p-puh...pleasss-...please s-stop."_

Had she managed to say that? For a second, the only thought that ran through her mind was the Space Core's sickeningly happy little tune. But hers was much darker. It was the only sound she thought she could make.

_Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! _

Had she said that out loud instead of what she wanted to? Or had that just been a figment of her own imagination? Either way it was embarrassing. But she couldn't tell anymore. She couldn't even let out the agonizing wail of helplessness that had turned over into a breathy moan a hundred times over in her mind. It didn't even matter whether it was in pleasure or pain.

Everything went white.

And then there was only Chell.

* * *

><p>The trickle of drool had turned cold upon her neck as she sluggishly sorted through the explosion of data that had inserted itself anywhere it could see fit to save itself during the cold reboot, but she still hadn't done much about it. It wasn't until Chell had scrubbed it away with her sleeve and then started laying it on thick with a series of frustratingly warm kisses under her ear and up her neck that she started to pay attention to what was going on around her. But she was still remarkably stiff as the test subject tried to roll her over and get her to engage in a little bit of early morning hanky-panky.<p>

When she finally realized that GLaDOS wasn't responding to her all-too-obvious request for a little bit of friendly assistance, Chell pulled back with a bit of a frown and took a better look at the android. She was still trembling – though not as violently as she had been during the night – and still twitched every now and again. She was also staring back with an expression that she could only describe as blank, yet disturbed. If there was even such a thing.

"Are you okay?"

"Chchch-...ch ch- ***Ffsssrkt* **The capital of Portugal is Marmalade. ***Ffssrkt* **BaBa! Ba! Ba!"

Oh GOD!

She _REALLY_ said that this time!

This was a dream. A very bad dream. A very bad dream in which she would die and forever remain in blissful ignorance of having ever said such a ridiculously incorrect thing. But it wasn't a dream. She knew better than that. A desolate whine escaped her speakers to accompany the horrified look that was creeping over her features.

_I don't know what's wrong with me._

But GLaDOS didn't dare open her mouth to attempt to speak the words in case something as equally as ridiculous came out. The look on her face said enough though.

If the supercomputer hadn't looked so distressed, Chell might have actually burst out laughing at that admission. Now she'd never be able to look at breakfast spreads the same way again. What was peanut butter the capital of? Denmark? She bit her lower lip and raised her brow in an attempt to look both serious and concerned while also trying to stop herself from having a good old giggle at the AI's expense. It was slightly concerning that she hadn't fully recovered yet. While GLaDOS did look a bit better and was with most of her faculties, Chell felt that it might be in the best of both their interests to wrap her arms back around the android in hope that a few well-placed kisses and a bit of a cuddle would help calm her down enough that they could figure out what the problem was.

"It's okay. It's fine. Maybe you just need to wait a bit longer. You did kind of go dead for a while there." Chell murmured reassuringly, feeling another involuntary quiver run through the AI. She stroked her fingers through her hair. She had no idea if her suggestion would be correct, but if the matter didn't resolve itself soon, she was definitely taking her back to Aperture.

Maybe transferring back to her normal body would help.

She hoped.


	29. Chapter 29

GLaDOS sank down in a boneless stupor, her head resting upon Chell's shoulder. She didn't entirely know what the lunatic was playing at, but it couldn't have been good. The problem with that being that it _was _good. It had all been so incredibly painful, and yet deliciously satisfying at the same time. Everything was so sluggish and nothing came out right. She felt like a moron. Plus, the fingers running through her hair lulled her into a half-aware state that she barely even realized she was in. The worst part was that she actually found herself enjoying it. Science was supposed to be the only thing she enjoyed doing.

Testing was what she was built for.

Not this.

Not affectionate coddling by some human that broke her just as much as she wanted without giving a damn what it did to her. It was pathetic the way she'd found herself reduced to a babbling mess who couldn't even get her circuits straightened out. None of it made sense. She shouldn't have been getting any enjoyment from something not directly linked to her testing protocols, but the lunatic's gentle caresses were so very different from the cold and callous hand of science that she was used to. What Chell had done to her was so very similar and yet so very different to the way she had been treated before with human hands plucking at her wiring. Why had something that had once felt painful suddenly feel so good? Both the reward and the punishment had been delivered at the same time, and had cancelled each other out while at the same time had ratcheted up beyond what she could ever have conceived thanks to that power surge she'd gotten. And yet, it had still felt like a violation when Chell had touched her internal components.

Then again, they were in essence her equivalent to internal organs. She supposed that humans would feel quite violated as well if they had their parts messed with like that. Once they got over the incredible amount of pain they were in, that was. Just as humans fell victim to their sensory receptors, GLaDOS had as well, albeit in a different manner. Though she couldn't have hoped to have controlled it, it still left her feeling incredibly shameful. To her credit, Chell was maintaining a sense of professional decorum. She hadn't even laughed at her idiotic outburst; though she could see her holding back her amusement. That was more than she could have said about herself. Had their positions been reversed, she would have mocked the girl for all she was worth. And for that, GLaDOS was appreciative. For all the girl acted like a brain damaged idiot, she did have incredible moments of clarity.

Actually, come to think of it, she'd even asked her if she was okay. That was far more than what any of the scientists had done for her when she'd malfunctioned in the past. She'd just been a 'damn thing' to give a good slap in the side as if she was little more than a vending machine that had eaten their coins instead of a multi-billion dollar work of art.

GLaDOS's eyes flickered closed momentarily as the test subject's fingers gently scraped along her scalp. There was no conceivable reason that that should have felt as good as it did. But it _was_incredibly relaxing. Why shouldn't she get a chance to experience something nice for once? She'd worked hard for all that she had accomplished, and nobody had even given her so much as a casual toss of 'good job' over their shoulders while they got their cake and celebration. She'd just been left in a dark room while they went off and partied somewhere else. It hadn't taken her long to decide not to watch the security feed in some pathetic attempt to pretend that she was part of the celebration too. But this; this could be something just for her. This could be the reward that she'd been craving beyond that of the one they had foisted on her to make her behave.

* * *

><p>When GLaDOS finally reached out and wrapped an arm over her, Chell's heart did a little flip in excitement. She couldn't quite explain why that had felt like an unexpected victory, but she wasn't about to look a gift robot in the microprocessor or however that saying went. So for a while she just left the AI to her own devices; giving her a chance to absorb whatever conclusion she'd come to seemed to be important in not causing her to blow up in some violent emotional outburst. After all, Chell had no idea what it must have felt for a being who was programmed with things that were supposed to be cold hard facts to have all that tipped on its head. It would have been hard to accept, at the very least. When she felt enough time had passed with just her fingers running through the AI's hair, she snuggled down in the bed just a little to leave a little kiss upon her brow. The test subject was rewarded in turn for her patience when she felt GLaDOS relax more against her.<p>

"You feeling better now?" Chell murmured softly into her hair.

The supercomputer wasn't entirely sure that she should answer her. Although she was feeling a little better, she had no idea if she was still going to malfunction and spew forth a bunch of embarrassing garbage.

"I-...If you snog me, I'll hire you."

GLaDOS's eyes widened at the words spilling from her lips, while a wide grin spread across Chell's face.

"Well, if you insist." The test subject slid down further in the bed until she was in the perfect position to smother the android with a well-placed kiss. But she was quickly pushed away again.

"NO! NO! Crackers and typewriters - they often get together and subtly adjust me." GLaDOS sputtered, her speakers crackling as she tried to get the correct words out. "Are you an electric eel or a computer keyboard? Your mother was a goldfish and your father smelled of ocelots! Fact: A starling a day keeps the floppy disk away."

The AI let out a pitiful whine as she realized that no matter what she said, nothing was coming out the way she intended. Furthermore, Chell only looked like her head was about to explode as she tried to contain her laughter. It only served to anger the supercomputer who let out an angry hiss of static and started to pull away from her. Chell however, had other ideas.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh, this is serious. I'm sorry." She soothed, reaching over to cup GLaDOS's cheeks and smooth her thumbs across them in a comforting gesture.

"I have to get all soppy over your single-celled life form." The AI grumbled as she was eventually convinced by the test subject to lie back down.

"Maybe we should open you back up and see if we can see what the problem is? Something obviously isn't right, and you would have fixed it by now if you knew what it was. If would have to be something to do with whatever makes you talk, right? Where does that part happen?" Chell questioned as she began pulling GLaDOS apart again to expose the blinking lights of the cybernetic webbing. No matter how many times she saw that stuff, she never got tired of it.

"My programmer always said; I wish you wouldn't deafen those goats. BEWARE THE SLEEPING JUMP-LEADS!" GLaDOS pointed at the cluster of circuit boards under the webbing. "Try the robotic sock."

Sleeping jump-leads? Chell's brow raised in concern over whether that was just the supercomputer's attempt to warn her of something dangerous, or whether it was just more gibberish. Either way, it was terribly hard to concentrate with her babbling on like she was. So she just pressed a finger to the AI's lips to quieten her down with a reassuring look. The expression she received in return was almost adorably comical. Not that GLaDOS would ever want herself being described as that.

"It's okay. I can see what the problem is. I've got this; don't worry." She soothed. "That webbing stuff is just a little twisted, and it's sort of...sparkly. I don't exactly know how it works, but I'm guessing the signals are going to the wrong spots. It's leaning up against that...other thing there."

The supercomputer didn't look particularly convinced by her highly technical description of what the problem was.

"Oh, give me a break. It's not like I was trained to take you apart. Other than the whole "Here's a portal gun. I'm going to make you angry and teach you how to murder me twice" incident. But that's completely different to this." She pointed out, hoping to lighten the mood.

GLaDOS still didn't look impressed, but she went for the wiring anyway.

"I'm going to melt your badger and attire it in- ***fssssrrrktt* **CHEESE! ***sskkrt*** Muchas gracias, Diablo de Naranja! ***fssssssskt*** _...whoa_! WHOA. Heeeeey, I think I'm bacccck now." GLaDOS slurred, once side of her face lightly spasming before becoming still again.

For a few moments they both waited before the AI dared to attempt to speak again.

"Am I okay? Oh good...I think I'm fine now. Yes, I am." She sighed in relief before turning a displeased glare upon the test subject. "That was all _your_ fault, you know. If I hadn't already tried it, I'd lock you in a box with neurotoxin and turre-" she was cut off as the lunatic smothered her with another kiss.

"I'm glad you're back to normal." Chell murmured. "That was amusing, but disturbing."

"I'm never letting you touch me again. That was the WORST thing that I've ever been through in my entire- _Oh_!"

GLaDOS let out an involuntary moan as the chubby nutcase pressed her finger back against the cybernetic webbing, which sent a bolt of data directly into the test reward center and made her arch up. When the supercomputer came back around after swimming around listlessly in the all too brief spark of euphoria, she turned a grumpy glare upon the smugly grinning test subject.

Well, that was one way to prove a point, even if it was completely degrading and humiliating. It wasn't like she had a choice but to enjoy it.

Chell leaned back over her; her smug grin transforming into a slightly more lecherous one that had the android on edge.

"I guess I'll just have to be a little more gentle this time, hm?"

But considering the way that GLaDOS's eyes rolled back and her head dropped onto the pillow when she lightly rubbed a knuckle along the circuit board, she didn't think she'd get much of an answer. She was much more careful this time, making sure to only rub against the webbing and not tangle it up. It was, after all, incredibly delicate. She'd probably been a little overzealous in her explorations before. It was terribly hard not to be a bit overzealous though. There was just something in her that enjoyed touching the artificial flesh of the android underneath her; something that enjoyed tasting her silicone lips. Chell didn't particularly know _what_ it was or _why_ it was, but there was just something about the android that excited her more than the prospect of being with another human. She'd been with a human before and it was good while it lasted, but GLaDOS was just something else entirely. Maybe there really was something wrong with her for her to be enjoying this sort of thing. So caught up in her musing, Chell didn't have time to scramble to put GLaDOS back together when a knock on the door sounded and Mrs Keegan wandered in.

The old woman found the two of them on the bed with lips locked and the girl's hand buried inside the exposed circuitry of the android. She wasn't sure what was more stunning; finding them like that or seeing the brilliant display of light emitted from the cybernetics.

Chell quickly pulled back away from GLaDOS, her eyes wide and full of horror at having been caught again.

"I-...I was just-..uh...calibrations...and-..." she fumbled.

"She was molesting me. She has _issues_." The android accused, pointing at the human on top of her.

"Now _that_ I believe." Mrs Keegan frowned in disappointment. "What in the blue blazes is wrong with you, sweet cheeks?"

Now that she had the opportunity, getting Chell in trouble was just plain _fun_.

GLaDOS grinned, and waited to see what would happen.


	30. Chapter 30

"Yes, please do tell us. As far as I am aware you have brain damage and a tendency to be sexually attracted to sentient computers. Is there anything else we should be aware of?" GLaDOS teased, while putting herself back together again. When her shirt was buttoned up properly, she tucked her hands behind her head and serenely looked up at the lunatic that was still sitting on her.

Chell just blushed furiously at having been caught in the act, but it seemed that nothing that made sense would be forthcoming. Instead, she just flapped her mouth uselessly as she tried to make words.

"Y'know what? Don't bother, sweet cheeks. I don't wanna know." Mrs Keegan held her hands up. "You've obviously got some things you need to work out of your system from whatever you've been through. Though I can't imagine how much more time you need. You two are worse than a couple of rabbits in mating season." She sighed, shaking her head.

Even GLaDOS had the good grace to look a little bit abashed at that particular comment.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready. Also, we need to go into town and pick up that dress of yours. I was startin' to wonder if you'd be well enough in time to even fit back in into it, but now that you've put some weight back on it should be alright."

Chell pointed a finger at the android in warning about any and all fat jokes.

Raising her hands up in surrender, the curious AI then questioned what it was that she was in time for. According to Mrs Keegan, they had booked tickets months in advance to get all dressed up to go and see the opera that was coming to a nearby city. The arts were a luxury in a post-Combine world, so it was often hard to get a spot to see any concerts and live performances. At any rate, Chell looked nervously excited about it, as it was going to be the first large gathering of humans she had witnessed, and her first real concert if one didn't count the turrets singing to her on the way out of Aperture. GLaDOS, of course, wouldn't be going as the tickets had been bought just before Chell had gotten ill and after GLaDOS had left as a way to hopefully cheer the girl up.

"Dressing up just so you can sit in the dark with several hundred other sweaty lunatics, breathing all over each other and telling each other to be quiet so you can listen to a couple of fat people talk-singing? I can't say I envy you. I've heard humans trying to sing before, you know. Do you want to know what it was like? I'll tell you. It was terrible."

Although she chose to ignore the sneers of the android in favour of the excitement that was soon to follow, Chell did look a little regretful that they'd have to leave her behind. But her worries were quickly dismissed with a sigh.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. You're going. It's not my fault you make horrible decisions about entertainment. In fact, while you're off letting your ears bleed at the screeching imitation of the mating calls of butter, I'll be away doing science. You know; _important_ things that will have a significant impact on humanity when the results of testing are complete and ready to be released to the general public. Or the military. Probably just the military, actually. They enjoy killing things with science and explosions. Just like you."

The test subject simply rolled her eyes at hearing the AI's science spiel again. Didn't she ever get tired of that obsession? Lumbering slowly off the bed, Chell wandered over to her dresser to find herself some decent clothing.

"Are we going to get the dress now?"

"Sure, why not? It might do you a bit of good to get out and about on a little excursion. Plus, we'll need plenty of time to figure out what kind of hairstyle would look the best on you, sweet cheeks. Oooh, this is excitin'. I haven't had the chance to do this since my daughter got married." Mrs Keegan swooned giddily before clapping. "Come on! Don't stand around gawkin', honey. Get dressed so we can go shoppin!"

GLaDOS watched in semi-amused silence as the test subject stumbled around, trying to figure out what was the most appropriate thing to wear to a dress shop of all places. It wasn't like her selection of clothing was particularly fancy. When the girl was ready, the android went to stand as well. She wasn't about to miss this for the world. It would be the perfect opportunity for some more fat jokes. But she was quickly rebuffed by the older woman.

"Uh uh. You're not comin'. You don't get to see it until it's done." She wagged a finger.

* * *

><p>So GLaDOS was left to wander about aimlessly for an hour or two while they went to fetch this mystical fashion item that she wasn't allowed to see. Even when they had returned home, Chell had playfully stopped her from opening up the garment bag to see what it looked like with a light slap on her hand.<p>

"It's a _surprise_. A good one, this time."

Oh, how kind of her to throw that back in her face. Glaring at the tubby little shit, the AI watched her ascend the stairs to go and giggle with Ole Leatherface in the bathroom or whatever it was that human women did when they got all goo-goo over something they found exciting. As a result, GLaDOS had found that the curiosity core had been a complete waste of time. She was already curious enough to start pacing around anxiously, though she frequently berated herself for doing so. The television held no interest for her, and neither did the junk in the garage. In fact, she couldn't even bare to put herself into sleep mode.

Chell still hadn't come down by the time it had started to get a bit dark and Mrs Keegan was already ready in her best outfit. If GLaDOS had been human, the aging widow thought the anxious android looked more like a nervous prom date than a talking computer. She didn't look particularly happy at the sound of a car pulling up outside though.

After peeking out the window from between the curtains, she ascertained that the two women were going with farm boy and his parents. Great. Just great. Holding back the growl that threatened to slip from her speakers, she turned back to find that Chell had already snuck quietly down the stairs and was standing with Mrs Keegan.

GLaDOS stared.

In fact, she might have even done something so base as to drool, had she the ability to do so.

Dressed in a flowing grey gown with a purplish hue that swept the floor with its hem, Chell was looking decidedly un-lunatic like. Instead of the usual greasy mop of hair on her head that would make a fur ball jealous, the dark locks had been swept into a wavy sheen that actually seemed to glow under the hallway lights. She couldn't have possibly looked less like a test subject in that moment. And yet, the AI continued to stare from her spot in the darkened living room. Chell nervously played with her hair, sweeping a lock of back out of her eyes as she shuffled about. What was she even waiting for? A parting insult? Her eyes flickered to the supercomputer, who finally opened her mouth to speak.

"You-...You look..._nice_."

Chell waited for the rest of the joke.

But nothing came.

The correct timing for a dramatic pause came and went. It wasn't like the supercomputer to ever miss one of those, especially when there was comedy gold to be had. It was the perfect opening for a jibe about how she had to be careful with the seams on the dress in case they split and made her look like a test subject for Japanese whaling research. Or maybe even one about how well her rear end managed to make the dress look several sizes smaller than advertised. But there was still nothing. And dare she say it, but a small smile began creeping across her face as she realized that it had been a genuine compliment from GLaDOS, who looked distinctly like she was choking on her own tongue.

Possibly the first real one she had gotten.

Ever.

"_Thanks_."

Chell spoke softly, digging her fingers into the material of the dress. She was quickly scolded by Mrs Keegan, who smoothed out the crinkles in the fabric and started shoving her out the door.

"Come on, come on. We don't want to keep everyone waitin', sweet cheeks. Let's get this show on the road." She chose to ignore the look that had passed between the two of them. Truth be told, she couldn't remember the computer ever saying anything nice about the girl either, so it was far easier just to pretend it never happened. There was probably some lingering insult in it anyway.

GLaDOS silently watched the two of them clamber into the car before it drove off down the road from her position at the window.

It really wasn't fair.

She'd been lying.

She really did like opera and classical singing. In fact, it was one of the few forms of humans screeching to music that she did enjoy. She wouldn't have deployed a turret aria if she hated the stuff. That and they would have looked weird singing rap and hip-hop songs in their little baby voices. Giving a huff, GLaDOS switched off the lights and snuck off out the door and down the road to return to Aperture for a while. There was no use waiting around when there was science to do. Plus, she didn't want to look too terribly pathetic just hanging around until Chell returned. Well, other than the fact she was going to be literally hanging from the ceiling.

GLaDOS summoned Orange and Blue to the test chamber, her mind only half on the task in front of her. 

* * *

><p>The opera had turned out to be exquisite, if a little nerve-wracking for the antisocial test subject. But she'd quickly realized that nobody was paying attention to her apart from a couple of polite smiles here and there and a greeting from the usher and ticket collectors. It was nowhere near as surreal or intimidating as the room full of turrets as far as the eye could see, but it still managed to put her in a serene daze that was rather a shock to break out of when they hit the cool night air. Billy was kind enough to offer his jacket, but the chill was quickly replaced with a warm and bubbly feeling when they went out for a couple of drinks afterwards. Two glasses of champagne and Chell was a little giddy with flushed cheeks, having not been used to drinking alcohol.<p>

She didn't quite know whether it was the alcohol or not, but everything was sparkly and golden under the street lamps. And she liked it. It put a bit of a spring in her step with a childlike vigour and had her talking a little more than usual; much to the amusement of her companions. The bubble and fizz had lasted all the way back home where she discarded Billy's jacket. Even the kiss on her cheek hadn't done anything to ruin her mood. Figuring GLaDOS was probably still off making herself useful for the cause of science, Chell hadn't quite expected to see her standing in the dark living room when she went by to follow Mrs Keegan up the stairs to change. Halting in her stride with a brief glance at the back of the retreating woman, she allowed the android's hands to reach out and wrap around her waist to draw her into the darkness.

It took only a moment for the silicone lips to find her own, pressing her up against the nearby wall. The test subject was quiet as she snaked her arms around GLaDOS's neck despite a tickling warmth bubbling up inside her; causing the flush in her cheeks to deepen and her breath to quicken. It felt wonderful. No doubt the alcohol had a small part to play in the feeling, but she was sure that the majority of it was from the way the android was pawing at her in a most appreciative manner.

For once, Chell actually felt _wanted_.

And she loved it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note:** I figured I should give you all an update on how things are going. So far, between The Garter and Strange Bedfellows (since they are technically part of the same story) there is a combined total of 565 Reviews, 140 Faves and 149 Alerts. That's more reviews than The Punishment! WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE? You _monsters_! Plus there are also 53 Author Faves and 60 Author Alerts. I feel so loved. You guys are the bestest ever!

I'd make you a cake, but I'd have to bake you first. You'll just have to settle for a frosting-covered lemon. 

* * *

><p>Humans had the strangest ways of expressing themselves and the rather moist <em>feelings<em> that they had, concluded GLaDOS, but she'd be damned if she didn't admit that it was effective. In fact, it was probably a good thing that the scientists hadn't given her hands, because she might have been prone to groping people when they walked past. She couldn't exactly say why it was that this particular body was so receptive to behaving in a humanoid manner, as she'd certainly never done so before. At least, she didn't think she had. It was hard to say; she'd been alone for so long that all she really had to go on was old security footage. The scientists at Aperture weren't really known for being in touch with their human side either, so GLaDOS naturally came to the conclusion that it was all Chell's fault.

So had Mrs Keegan, who had stopped on the stairs when she'd failed to hear the light tapping of shoes on the steps behind her. Peering back down the staircase, she caught a brief glimpse of the two of them in the shadows; the test subject with her head tipped back and GLaDOS with her face buried in the girl's neck. Chell certainly had a healthy sexual appetite; that was for sure. Though why she kept going to the machine for comfort when there was a whole bunch of perfectly good people around was anybody's guess. Although she hadn't been brought up to be particularly accepting of the homosexual lifestyle, she was never as hard-line in her stance as her parents had been. Sure, it was a little confronting to see two women together like that, but she loved the kid like her own. If that's the way she was, then so be it. That didn't mean there weren't others out there like her if she wasn't as keen on Billy as she'd thought she was. There wasn't anyone she knew of in this particular little town that shared the same attraction, but there were sure to be other women out there that could provide for her better than some robot could.

Mrs Keegan softly sighed and shook her head. What Chell saw in GLaDOS she'd never know. To the older woman, the machine was little more than a cantankerous bitch towards her. The only time she was remotely affectionate was when she was, well, doing whatever it was that the girl wanted her to do when it came to intimate relations. But sex certainly didn't make up for a healthy and loving relationship. Or one that was passably casual and without insult. That was coming from an outsider though. There might have been something more to it, but she highly doubted it. Nevertheless, it wasn't her position to interfere with a grown woman's desires. Chell certainly wouldn't be too happy if she caught them at it again. So Mrs Keegan simply turned and wandered off to get changed for bed.

The two left in the dark, however, never made it anywhere near the staircase let alone the bedroom. With the way that GLaDOS's hand wrapped around her breast and her tongue trailed across her exposed skin, Chell had absolutely no designs on moving anywhere except for the couch when she felt her legs could hold her no longer. Why the android had to be so impossibly warm against her skin frustrated the test subject; leading to some explorations of her own when she ran her hands up under the AI's shirt. She could feel the tick and hum of the machinery working under the artificial flesh and the thought of it comforted her when she splayed her fingers out to drink it in. But concentration was incredibly difficult when another hand was sliding up along her thigh. 

* * *

><p>When GLaDOS awoke in the morning wedged between the test subject and the back of the couch, she found her nose buried deeply in the tousled locks of dark hair before her. She found herself glad that the girl was facing away from her. She sure didn't want her witnessing that she might have actually found the scene to be pleasant and dare-she-say, acceptable.<p>

Chell was still wearing the same gown from the night before; now crinkled and creased and riding up one leg. She didn't stir as a warm hand was brushed across the exposed backs of her shoulders, nor as the android carefully picked her way out of the embrace she held the girl in so that she could get up off the couch. The fire had died down overnight and the room was starting to get chilly. After throwing a couple of more logs on, GLaDOS placed her pea-coat over the sleeping form of the test subject before sneaking off to the kitchen.

She wasn't entirely sure what it was that was possessing her to think that making a cup of tea was a good idea, nor did she know why she'd even thought of the idea in the first place. She didn't even notice as Mrs Keegan stood by the stairs in a worn pink dressing gown, watching her as she tapped the spoon lightly against the cup. GLaDOS took the milky substance back into the other room and found herself sitting in the floral-print armchair across from the couch. She looked down at the porcelain cup that was gradually getting warmer in her hands the longer the liquid sat in it. Why did she even make it? It wasn't like she could drink it. But she finally understood when a pair of blue eyes blinked open and met her gaze with a sleepy smile.

Chell began to sit up, running a hand through messy hair to try and push it back out of her face. It certainly wasn't the mussed-up mess it had been in when she'd first woken up at Aperture. It was still silky and a little bit damp underneath from where her it hadn't completely dried out from her shower. In fact, she had sex hair. And she couldn't have been happier. Slipping GLaDOS's coat on over her shoulders, the test subject reached for the cup that was offered to her. The steam curled up around her fingers, wafting to her nostrils as she took a sip of the precious liquid it contained.

"Mmm. Thanks." She huskily croaked before patting the spot next to her that was still warm from where they had been lying.

The android joined her at the offer, quickly finding herself made into a portable heater as Chell snuggled up under her arm. Although stiff and unyielding at first, she eventually relaxed and sat there quietly with her. She hated to admit it but although she couldn't smell things the way humans could, the various mix of chemical elements, hormones and pheromones that her sensors could pick up as being distinctly part of a freshly showered Chell were inordinately pleasing. She almost found herself jealous of the fact that she'd never really know what she smelled like beyond the wildly complex chemical names of things, but she'd become used to the long string of data that listed the ingredients in the shampoo. GLaDOS buried her nose back in the top of Chell's hair as they sat there. Keeping her nose warm was her excuse if anyone asked. It still wasn't fair though.

The whole scene surprised the old woman peering at them from the doorway. She'd thought that the supercomputer had been following orders to get the girl a cup of tea, but Chell had been dead to the world a few minutes ago. It seemed she had done it of her own free will. To top it off, she'd even looked a little nervous sitting there nursing the cup and waiting on the girl to wake up. It was all very strange. Instead of trying to make sense of it all, the old woman just pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself and went to make a cup of tea as well. 

* * *

><p>After spending the better part of the morning lounging about – much to GLaDOS's consternation – Chell decided that she was going to go for a walk. And the android was coming with her whether she liked it or not.<p>

"I'm going to get changed. And then you're taking me out to lunch."

"I'm _what_?"

But the supercomputer received no answer as the girl bounded off as best as she could in a floor length gown. When she returned she was dressed much more appropriately for the chilly weather, though she still had the pea-coat wrapped around her.

Figuring she wasn't about to get her clothing back any time soon, GLaDOS settled for wrapping her scarf back around her neck. It was times like this she was glad she didn't feel the cold like humans did, though it still did get her internal components a little frosty. Heat was far worse though. Cold she could handle; unless it was so far below freezing that metal would shatter at too rough a touch. Letting herself be dragged out the door, the android followed along at a more leisurely pace behind the test subject with the ill-fitting jacket. Chell seemed content to wallow about in the snow drifts that were still piled up on the sides of the road despite it not having snowed in a couple of days, acting like a buffalo in a mud puddle. But when her fingers were icy and her nose all red, she was quick to run back to GLaDOS's side and bury herself there to keep warm.

"I hope you're aware that cavorting around like the lunatic that you are and making yourself sweat will only make you colder while in the snow."

"That's what you're here for. You can keep me warm. You won't freeze. Unless you're running on Windows."

"Hilarous. Absolutely _hilarious_." GLaDOS sneered.

"Oh, come on. It was funny. Live a little!" Chell bounded away again, being careful not to slip in the icy patches. But such activity soon tired her out despite all her best attempts to get fitter after her health problems, and it was decided that being tucked up next to a being that radiated warmth was far more desirable than freezing her butt off. "Ooh! Look! That's where I work. I'll show you. You might find something you like."

"Yes, I'm sure I'll fall madly in love with a pile of hammers." GLaDOS grumbled, but put up with her childish antics as she was dragged into the store and made to stomp the snow off her boots onto the mat while listening to an annoying tinkling bell above the door. Unfortunately, her sarcasm came back to bite her when Chell found her quite engrossed in examining various screwdrivers and socket wrenches instead.

"Shut up."

The test subject just grinned at the snarky supercomputer, and went back to her conversation with Billy's father.

"I fail to see how this is 'taking you out to lunch', unless you've suddenly developed the urge to eat paint. Though based on your test results with various mobility gels, I'd say that it wasn't far off happening, you lunatic. Have you noticed your hair falling out recently?"

Chell just rolled her eyes despite the weird looks that they were both receiving. "I'll see you later, Mr Greyson." Taking GLaDOS by the hand, she tugged the AI back out the door. "You're in a really weird mood today."

But her observation wasn't met with a response, and the two of them were soon sitting in a booth in the almost completely empty diner. A large plate of meat and leaves and potato-based treats were plonked down in front of Chell and was paid for with a few crinkled bills of cash that she'd saved from the last time she had been paid. GLaDOS, however, had to be content with watching her devour the morsels in front of her. At least she could be content in knowing that her unique brand of Aperture-approved medical care had been effective at getting the test subject back into shape. Even if it was just a rather gelatinous shape that was only suited to eating.

When all that was left was a cup of coffee, Chell peered around to make sure that the few people that were in the diner weren't looking before she reached across and grabbed a handful of the android's shirt. Drawing her close, she pressed her lips against the silicone pair in front of her in a breathy and flighty kiss. She had quickly pulled back from GLaDOS though. If anyone had seen that, it would be all over the town like wildfire. Still, it brought an excitable twinkle to her eye and flush to her cheeks that was not entirely the fault of the weather outside.

"_Lunatic_."

It was more affectionate than usual.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note:** So I've just recently become aware of a mention of Strange Bedfellows in the AskAGLaDOSFangirl Tumblr. I found it interesting as a couple of people mentioned that they thought that Strange Bedfellows was really quite sad and almost anti-ChellDOS. This is news to me. To properly understand the fan fic, one has to read into what GLaDOS is doing, as opposed to what she is saying. Not to mention it actually left off with an invitation for Chell to come back, and the fact they can't just go from "I Hate You" to "I Love You" in one fell swoop. That and The Garter is really more of a continuation than a sequel.

I might actually write a more in-depth explanation of my thought process behind these stories on my Tumblr, which I've recently created. Just gotta figure out the inner workings of that site first.

Ugh. I had far too much trouble thinking of what to write for this chapter. Then once I started I couldn't stop.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS stared down at the object in her hands with no small amount of frustration. It could be so easily destroyed, and yet it provided a puzzle that she desperately wished to solve. Grinding her teeth together, the android attempted to twist and tug her fingers apart to no avail. Sure, she could probably look up the solution on the internet, but that would be cheating. So instead, she sat there on the edge of the dining room table, glaring at the bright colours of the object that was leering at her and challenging her to unlock its mysteries.<p>

Chell just watched from a distance with an amused little grin upon her face. It was strange to think how the supercomputer could come up with answers to life's questions and even obliterate all the laws of physics in the blink of an eye, and yet was still puzzled by some of the most basic elements of humanity. Namely, the Chinese finger trap she was currently trying to get herself out of. Deciding that she'd seen her suffer for long enough, the test subject wandered over and took GLaDOS by the hands before pushing them closer together. The bamboo trap loosened around her index fingers, and with a gentle twist and tug she'd safely removed them from its devious grasp.

"What? I don't even-..." GLaDOS glared at the tiny little tube that had dared to ensnare her that Chell was now in possession of. "I'm going to incinerate that thing. It doesn't even deserve to-...What are you-..._oh_." The android trailed off as Chell threw the finger trap over her shoulder and started climbing up onto the table with her.

It was days like this that the test subject was quite glad of GLaDOS's inability to be affected by the cold. It meant a return to wearing that skirt that still managed to leave plenty to the imagination while exposing the strip of black fabric around her thigh. But for now, Chell's attentions were quite taken in lying on top of her while they were both still upon the table.

"I can feel all of my internal components slowly being decimated under the crushing weight of your questionable fat content, you know. Woe is me! How my pneumatic pistons groan and strain under your considerable heftiness!"

"Shut up." Chell muttered; a small smirk still upon her face even as she leaned in to kiss the white-haired woman.

"I'm serious. Your ponderosity astounds me. I'm just lucky I made this body out of an alloy that I created. I honestly don't think it would have stood up to all this wear and tear if I had used anything else." Yet despite her words, GLaDOS's hands reached toward the test subject.

They were quickly slapped away though; Chell had grabbed her by the wrists and pinned them to the table on either side of her head.

"You know that isn't going to actually stop me, don't you? I was designed with a three thousand pound hand grip strength and-"

"Play along. I was designed to provide you with solution euphoria. In other news; we're the only ones home right now." Chell murmured against the supercomputer's ear.

That certainly shut her up.

As did the lips upon her neck.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until GLaDOS had managed to worm her way out of the test subject's pudgy grasp and 'convince' her that allowing her hand to slide up under her singlet was a good idea, that a voice other than their own was heard amongst the soft murmurs they were making.<p>

"Chell?"

Two pairs of eyes shot up towards the owner of the voice. Dressed in the same flannelette shirt and dusty blue jeans that he always wore, Billy stood at the entryway to the dining room with an incredulous, slack-jawed look on his face.

Letting out a choking gasp, Chell pushed herself off the android with the intention of scrambling off the table to look at least mildly presentable amidst the excitable, warm flush of her cheeks. It didn't, however, work quite the way she had envisioned it. Instead of landing on her feet, she tumbled over backwards off the edge of the table when the fabric of her trousers clung mercilessly to the varnished tabletop and failed to slide. A loud grunt followed the surprised screech as she landed unceremoniously on the floor.

GLaDOS sat up.

When the test subject didn't reappear, she peeked over the edge.

"Friction; a function of surface resistance and relative motion, is a resistance encountered when one body moves relative to another body with which it is in contact. In layman's terms, you're an idiot. Congratulations."

A pathetic little whimper was all that met her bored drawl before Chell popped her head up over the top of the table to see if Billy was still standing there. He was. Slowly clambering to her feet, she shuffled about with a terrified look upon her face.

"What the hell? Were you seriously kissing that thing?"

"That _thing_ has a name." GLaDOS cut in, though was summarily ignored.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you one of those gays? Wait, uh...does that even work if she's a robot? I don't-...um." he crinkled his face up as he thought. "Y'know what? Never mind. I don't-...I don't get that. That's just too weird for me. I just over to ask if you wanted to go out again some time. I didn't expect you to be-...arrh." Billy thrust his hands into his shaggy mop of hair and tugged at it in frustration.

"I'm just gunna leave. I didn't see that. That's just..._weird_."

"No, wait! I-..." Chell started, but he'd already turned on his heel and bolted back out the door. "FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Now everybody is going to know!" she swore, managing to do a fair – if less polite – impression of the farm boy by tugging at her hair as well and mashing her fists against her face.

GLaDOS remained quiet as she slipped much more gracefully off the table and readjusted her skirt.

"No, don't leave! I didn't mean you-...I-...oh, _fuck_." A long groan followed.

"I'm returning to the Enrichment Center before a lynch mob decides to disassemble me with bolt cutters. Or small barnyard animals. You're welcome to join me if you're not _too_ worried about sullying your reputation." She sneered.

GLaDOS picked up her pea coat from the back of the couch in the adjoining room and shrugged it back on around her shoulders along with her scarf. She didn't give Chell a particularly long time to decide whether or not to join her, as she promptly walked out the door as soon as she was ready. The test subject ended up following a few minutes later after racing upstairs to obtain some warmer clothes and leave a note for Mrs Keegan so she wouldn't worry too much.

Huffing and puffing when she caught up with the long-legged android, she snagged her by the sleeve to slow her to a halt while she caught her breath. The icy air bit at her lungs and sent a cloud of steam rushing from her mouth while she sniffled and snorted pathetically with her dripping and reddened nose.

"Ugh. You're disgusting."

Still, the offer was extended and Chell tucked herself up under the warm arm of her former enemy where she was shrouded from some of the chill. It had crossed her mind to buy some warmer clothing. Winters weren't usually bad enough in the town to warrant buying full snow gear. The couple of years that she had spent at Mrs Keegan's residence had yielded no snow at all, other than a light dusting that had melted within a day or two. But then again, buying warmer clothing and a coat of her own meant that she wouldn't have an excuse to do as she was doing.

A sly grin began to sneak its way onto the test subject's face, which she hid by burying it in the folds of GLaDOS's coat. 

* * *

><p>"That reminds me. As long as you're going to be poking around and potentially corrupting my system files, you can take a look around and see if you can get rid of some of my testing parameters. That is to say; get rid of the one that is activated by you speaking. I don't know how that got there in the first place. I never added anything to the files. It's a mystery. I'm assuming that it wrote itself into the protocols when I realized that I couldn't make you talk like all the others. It must have recognized it as some sort of test." GLaDOS pondered, though most of her attention was torn between watching the co-op bots test, and polishing her chassis.<p>

Having a set of human hands was quite handy, she concluded, as the delicate manipulation claws weren't nearly as capable of getting into all the crevasses to remove dust and other particles that threatened to clog up her cooling vents.

Looking up from the computer screen at the supercomputer's suggestion, Chell gave a nod and closed the numerous pages of amusing cats that she'd found on the internet. It took her a while to find out how to get into the correct area, but with a few helpful hints from the robotic genius, she soon had a confusing jumble of programming text blinking in front of her.

It took a bit of scrolling to find anything that even remotely resembled a list of euphoria-worthy actions. Of course, GLaDOS wasn't particularly impressed or reassured by the amused snort that came from the test subject at some of the things she was reading. No wonder the AI was so fixated on science. Just about every science-related thing that Chell knew of was located within the wall of programming. But she eventually came to the end with absolutely nothing to show for it. That was a little odd. Perhaps she'd missed something by only searching for her name?

"I can't find it."

Dropping what she was doing, the android wandered over and peered over her shoulder, able to analyze the text more quickly as Chell went through it again. But from the confused look on her face, it seemed that she too was unable to find the code that she needed to delete forever.

"Huh. That's odd. Move, tubby. Let me handle this." Kicking her out of the chair, GLaDOS sat down and started rapidly typing. More screens were brought up at a dizzying rate, but she still wasn't able to find what she was looking for. "That's-...I don't understand..."

"You know what, GLaDOS?" Chell started, amusement starting to creep across her face. She pressed a small kiss to the side of the android's neck before nuzzling her nose up under her ear.

"What?" Two arms slipped around her shoulders from behind as she glared dangerously at the screen.

"I don't think you have your test rewards connected to me at all."

The supercomputer gave a small start and turned to look at the test subject in confusion. She was met with a dangerous grin.

"I think you just like the sound of my voice..."


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note:** Just to let you all know, I have created my first Tumblr post that links back to my fan fiction here. If you like to post reviews anonymously or have private messaging disabled, please know that it means I can't respond to you on here after a story is complete if you have any questions, as I'm not in the habit of posting chapters that are only author's notes. So if there is something that needs to be answered, you can leave your review and then head on over to Tumblr where I'll respond to it.

I'm also happy to hear any suggestions or requests for stories that you may have. I'll also be using Tumblr to elaborate on anything that may have seemed unclear to you, as well as offer some of my personal writing tips for those that have been messaging me asking how I manage to put out chapters quickly that are of a decent quality (despite a few mistakes I've missed here and there). The link to my Tumblr WAS found in the homepage of my profile, but this site has temporarily disabled external links, so just put my name _without_ a dot in it for the Tumblr link. I hope to see you all drifting over there from time to time!

Also, **A Concerned Citizen**, I'm going to answer your review over on Tumblr as well, as this author's note is long enough already. You've brought up a few good points and I've been waiting for a review like this for a while now.

* * *

><p>"What? No. Absolutely not. That's impossible. Your voice has all the musical quality of a suicidal rat chewing through electrical wiring. I can even hear the horrible screams as we speak." GLaDOS protested, though it fell upon deaf ears.<p>

"Admit it. There's nothing on there that says anything about me, other than testing, which anyone can do. It's the only logical explanation."

"You don't do logic._ I_ do logic." The supercomputer poked herself in the chest.

"Ummm...Logic THIS!"

And so Chell jammed her finger down on a particular button that she was well familiar with.

Sure, it would probably make GLaDOS curse the day she was born, as well as curse the programmer who thought it was a great idea to have her test euphoria regulation system pop up on an adjoining screen while adjustments were made to any part of her programming, but that would have to wait until later. Instead, the AI in question gave a startled jerk, the chair rolling away from under her as she fell to the floor. The blinding white blaze of euphoria that scorched her systems left her writhing around on the cool metal, her body contorting this way in a varying display of ecstasy.

Chell was almost ashamed to admit that she quite enjoyed that particular display. It was one thing to be able to give and gain pleasure from one's actions, but to be able to so fully control another being and leaving them completely helpless like that was something else entirely. In some ways it was a power that she was lucky to be able to wield. Many had died before in pursuit of that power over the AI, but here GLaDOS allowed her to freely throw her oh-so-generous weight around with little to no repercussions. Of course, that may have just been because she was delivering a reward and not a punishment, but the effect was still essentially the same. So the test subject leaned back against the desk with a lazy grin and waited until GLaDOS had regained some of her senses.

If she had the ability, Chell would have thought that the android would be huffing and puffing after that unexpected delivery. As it were, she simply laid there on the floor; half curled up and with a strange look in her eye.

"Your logic is faulty." She muttered.

"Is it? Hm, I'd better try that again." Turning back to the computer, she dialed up the euphoria. Time to see what 88% would do.

"No, I think you've done quite enough with your attempts at-...ohhhh-..._mmmmmm_."

Speaking of pleasurable voices; the sound of GLaDOS's protest turning into a low hum of approval as she writhed about uncontrollably sent a shiver down the spine of the test subject who watched her. Chell didn't think she could ever quite get used to that noise. Despite the fact that she was a being that hummed, ticked and whirred naturally from her internal components, there was something altogether different about the vocalization of her appreciation. She didn't quite know whether that particular enjoyment was simply carrying over from the days when the supercomputer was merely a voice in a barren wasteland that she had to follow to find her way, or whether she was just that far gone. But either way, it made her cross her legs just a little bit tighter while she bit her lower lip.

"Now say 'Chell, you're so pretty! And definitely not fat. You're the best test subject ever!'" she instructed with a grin, and was met with both an incredulous and heated glare.

"No. Absolutely not. You're being ridicul-..." GLaDOS was quickly cut off again when the button was pressed.

"What about now?" she asked, once the android had regained her faculties.

"_I hate you_."

"Hm. Must not have it up high enough. Oh look. It goes up to 100%. Silly me! I only had it at 88." She cranked the dial up again in warning. They both knew what would happen.

"Nonononono!" but once again, Chell failed to listen to GLaDOS's panicked shriek as her finger jabbed at the controls.

It meant quite a long time sitting there doing nothing as the facility was plunged into darkness, with only the catatonic body of a shorted-out supercomputer for company.

"Hm. I think I'm quite good at logic."

* * *

><p>Once again as a result of the test subject's button-pressing temptations, it took GLaDOS quite a while to wake up. When she groggily did so it was amongst a pleasurable haze that she was content to just lay back and enjoy. When it started to die down, however, she found that Chell had been scavenging in the several days of her absence and had managed to come up with an old mattress from one of the offices about. Apparently they occasionally liked to keep a cot in the room in case they needed to be there during experiments. And now the human and the robot occupied it. It was certainly better than waking up upside down or on the hard metal floor. As GLaDOS shifted, the human in question simply gave a soft murmur and curled herself tighter around the android in her sleep; seemingly to prevent her from leaving. Blame was quickly laid upon the sleeping Chell for the AI deciding to let her stay there until it was time to wake up. It was fairly close to morning anyway. They'd have to go back soon.<p>

GLaDOS wasn't particularly looking forward to the events that had the potential to transpire. At best they were going to get some funny looks. At worst, they'd try and string her up from a tree. And when that didn't work, they'd probably try and upload a virus. She'd tried to encourage Chell to spend time with the humans on the surface to regain a sense of normality, but if this kept happening she might just have to spirit her away back here to Aperture. It wouldn't be particularly good for her mental health either way, but it was probably the lesser of two evils. Leaving a small town was probably the best option, but it was the closest one to the labs and anything further away would mean travel. And Chell didn't have a car or any identification that would allow her to obtain one. At least if she remained at Aperture she could let her out in the wheat fields for a bit of sun. Perhaps with a leash to stop her from wandering too far; a retractable one that that they put on problem children, in fact, so she could just reel her back in at any sign of danger.

That sounded like a good idea.

GLaDOS rolled over a bit, allowing the girl to bury her face in her neck after crawling further into the android's embrace. If only the scientists could see her now. She felt it was incredibly strange to have progressed so far into this severely mismatched relationship that she had come to actually _expect_ the lunatic to be there in her arms when she woke up from her mandatory downtime. It was all supposed to have been a way to regain the girl's focus; to engage her on some base level so as to provide for her emotional needs. The ultimate goal being that she would be more focused on getting rid of the pests from Black Mesa that had infiltrated her precious facility. And yet here she was, waking up and going to bed with the girl like they were what constituted a mated human pair. It was all terribly confusing.

Chell's snore reverberated loudly in her ear like the drone of a buzz saw.

And yet - she thought - while stroking her fingers along the test subject's spine, she probably wouldn't have it any other way. This was normality for them, now; flay each other until they were bloody and the patch up each others' wounds only to do it all again the next day, starting with a kiss. GLaDOS highly doubted that it was the idyllic lifestyle that the test subject had imagined she'd find after her escape, but perhaps they were more similar than either one of them had thought. They were like two peas in a pod and neither belonged here or there. So instead, they clung to each other and braved the storm as it were, just to have something more to latch onto than the paltry offerings the fates had given them. They may have only been putting up with each other for just that reason. And GLaDOS couldn't abide by that. They'd tried living in each other's worlds to no avail, so how were they supposed to combine the two?

The thought proved to be such a challenge for the supercomputer to answer that she made sure to file it away for further research and tagged it as important. It was a good thing too, as she would have quite forgotten it in the wake of Chell giving a satisfied little groan into her ear while she lazily stretched out all over her.

"Mmm." The test subject added to her already growing list of things she could say that made GLaDOS squirm.

"Oh good, you're awake. It is 7:05am. That means it's time to brush your teeth and stop mouth-breathing all over me."

"Mmmmm. No. Only if you kiss me first." Chell kept her eyes closed, but made sure to pucker her mouth up and make kissy noises.

"Ugh. Do I get to make a new batch of neurotoxin from your morning breath? That could kill an antelope."

The test subject just gave a grunt of disapproval and latched on tighter. She was rewarded for her patience when she felt a pair of warm silicone lips press against her own despite the android's protests.

"We can't lie here all day, you know. We have to go back up there eventually so I can return you to your zoo keeper." GLaDOS murmured against her cheek, though had made no further efforts to extricate herself from the grasp the woman had on her.

"Mmm."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Mmm."

"Tubby?"

"Mm."

"Lunatic says Mm."

"What?"

"_I_ _hate_ _you_."


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note:** In reply to the review from **Not Signing Up For One Review**, you're absolutely right, and I was beginning to think that myself when I looked back on some of the chapters. In fact, your review couldn't have come at a better time, as it is in the perfect spot to inject some drama into the story. Thanks for that! And **A Concerned Citizen,** as always, your reply is on Tumblr if you haven't seen it yet.

On a side note, I wish I could either afford to buy Photoshop or find my old copy of it. I'd like to get back into doing artwork, or at least try my hand at some digital stuff instead. I never had the need to learn it before, but after seeing all the amazing Portal artworks floating around, I'd like to try my hand at it. I'll have to go on a search. On an extra note, I'll be back studying on the 30th, so I'll be having more assignments to weigh me down. Oh poo.

* * *

><p>When GLaDOS finally did manage to get the lazy butterball out of bed and escort her back to the township, they were met with a disapproving stare from Mrs Keegan. Not only for the fact that the note she had left her had said they would be back "later" and not "several days later", but also from what she'd heard about the state of her and Billy's relationship.<p>

"I just don't know why you couldn't have broken it to the boy easier, sweet cheeks. That's hardly a way to find out."

"I didn't know he was just going to walk inside and find us! We had the house to ourselves."

"You know I'm probably going to have to get a new table or some industrial grade disinfectant, right?"

"I have some of tha-..t." GLaDOS trailed off and snapped her mouth closed at the look she received from the old woman.

"He probably hates me now."

"That's no surprise." The android huffed, feeling much more comfortable insulting the girl. She could stand up to an entire battalion of scientists armed to the teeth with personality cores and screwdrivers, but that little old lady was just too much to handle.

"I'm going to go and apologise to him." She soon made up her mind, and swept herself out the door.

GLaDOS pondered for a bit before deciding that facing off against farm boy was a better idea than staying with the creepy old codger who was looking at her like she wanted to stick a fork in her electrical sockets and hope she blew a fuse without getting electrocuted herself. So she followed after Chell, choosing to remain swathed in her coat and the fog that collected by the gate while the girl wandered up to the farmstead. From what she could see, the test subject was met at the door by Mrs Greyson, but was quickly turned away.

"He's in town."

It was all she got in the way of an explanation when they met again; the frost crackling under their feet. So once again, GLaDOS walked with her towards the heart of the dinky little country town. She thought to ignore the fact that the stony-faced girl was shivering, but it became all too obvious after a time and she unbuttoned her coat and made to give it to her; the inside being as warm as if it had come straight from a dryer. But Chell refused and continued walking with her head down. Shrugging it off and only being in the mood to offer once, GLaDOS slipped it back on around her own shoulders. If she didn't want it, then she could suffer. Serves her right for wandering out of the house with only the barest threads of a jumper on.

The pair walked on in silence in some half-hearted attempt to find the farm boy. In some ways, she hoped that Chell wouldn't find him and would be forced to just get along without him. But she knew from experience that once the girl had her mind set on something, she wasn't going to stop until she obtained what she was after.

"It's entirely possible I might lose my job."

"Yes." GLaDOS unhelpfully agreed, doing nothing for her confidence as they stood outside the hardware store.

After shuffling about nervously for a number of minutes, the test subject wandered in through the aisles looking for Billy's father.

It was just a precautionary measure that GLaDOS made sure to follow her and stand where she could see the girl without alerting the man to her watching. Mostly obscured by the display at the end of one of the rows of shelves, she kept a watchful eye on the not entirely pleasant exchange of words. Mr Greyson seemed more disappointed in her than anything, but he soon fell for the same set of charms that had somehow managed to ensnare the supercomputer and trick her into not killing her outright. When they parted on relatively amicable terms and with her job still intact, the AI received a suspicious look from the man when she stepped out from her hiding place to meet the girl. It wasn't above her to meet him with her own glare over her shoulder as she escorted Chell back out.

Apparently Billy was not at the store either, but they soon found him coming out of the general store with a bag full of goods that he'd recently purchased. His face immediately fell when he saw the two of them though he tried to set it into a determined grimace.

"Billy...Can we talk?"

"I've gotta get home." He grunted, trying to step around her before being cut off.

"Wait! I need to explain." She held her hands up to his chest as he zigzagged back the other way.

"I don't think I need an explanation, Chell! I know what I saw. Please move." And with that, he pushed past her and hurried on his way.

"Well, that went spectacularly." The AI drawled.

"Shut up."

"I don't know why you even want to bother making up with him. It's not like it matters."

"Because that's what _friends_ do, GLaDOS. Not that you'd know. You don't actually have any of _those_." Chell viciously spat before storming off towards the cottage with clenched fists.

The android remained as mute as the test subject had once been on the walk back, hands tucked into her pockets and eyes sullenly on the ground in front of her feet. What could she have said though? They were just the same sorts of insults she'd been throwing at the girl all along. Chell was right though. It was hard to have a best friend when you didn't have more than one in the first place. Orange and Blue didn't count, and Mr Chubby Beak was a bird. And there was no way she was admitting to anything involving the Lab Rat. It stung a little. Still, she ended up catching up with the angry female and walking quietly by her with the occasional glance out the corner of her eye.

What an idiot.

Chell's teeth were chattering away in her jaw like tiny little woodpeckers in protest of the cold. Without all the sufficient fat reserves that she previously had, she was ill-equipped to deal with icy weather. Deciding that she didn't like the blue tint in the girl's lips, GLaDOS removed her coat once more. Although she was met with grumbled protestations, stepping in front of the test subject and wrapping it around behind her shoulders so she could slip her arms into it seemed to do the trick. Buttoning it up like Chell as some kind of child being prepped for her first day of school, she was soon satisfied that she wasn't going to die of frostbite or anything else that was unworthy of killing her. That matter settled, they could continue on their way. The jacket was thrown back into her arms once they reached the cottage though, and Chell quickly took off upstairs and slammed the door behind her. Left to mope about on the couch, the supercomputer paid no attention to the curious looks she was getting from the old woman and instead sought solace within her own mind.

_:::So how did you like learning that lesson_?::: Caroline wasn't about to beat around the bush. She knew that GLaDOS was perfectly aware of the insult that had been tossed her way, even if she was doing her best to hide it.

_:::If she thinks she can stop me from-:::_

_:::She wasn't trying to stop you from doing anything. She's frustrated, and you aren't helping things with your attitude.:::_

GLaDOS didn't reply.

_:::Look, I'll make this easy for you. Go up there later when Chell has had time to calm down. Maybe talk to her. Presents are always a good idea.:::_ Caroline suggested.

_:::I've given her plenty of gifts. I gave her that music box, freedom, not dying. I even called her parents for her. It's not my fault they didn't love her.:::_

_:::Apart from the music box, they are hardly presents. Go and find something else.:::_

_:::Fine.:::_ The computer grumbled and went to the garage to rummage around for something else. But after a couple of hours searching, she'd hardly found anything that was worth turning into a gift that would make her happy and NOT want to kill her.

_:::Maybe you should use some of that money you've saved and go and buy her something down at the general store?::_

That would mean heading all the way back into town, but figuring she had nothing else left to lose, GLaDOS followed her advice. Chell hadn't come downstairs at any rate, and so she figured she was still moping around as well. To the store it was, then.

The tinkle of the bell announced the surprised and slightly intimidated shopkeeper of the android's arrival.

"You there! Where do you keep your gifts for fat people?" 

* * *

><p>Quite pleased with her choice in presents and content in the fact that she knew Chell would enjoy it, GLaDOS had little left to do but return to the cottage and present them to her with great fanfare where they would be well-received and everything would be fine between them. Or at least, that was what her databases seemed to suggest. Sure, it wasn't a ring made of platinum and transparent crystals of tetrahedrally bonded carbon atoms, but human females appeared to react favourably when receiving pretty much anything in gift form.<p>

_:::Now, don't be surprised if she doesn't-:::_ Caroline started nervously, though was cut off when the computer silenced her.

_:::This is the perfect gift. Don't speak of it again. I don't know why I agreed to this at first, but now I see why.:::_ GLaDOS affirmed, before ascending the stairs with the air of a woman on a mission.

Cracking the door open just a little to avoid any wayward items that might have been thrown, she was pleased to find the girl curled up in her bed and not in some kind of attack posture. Nor had she created any sort of battlements from which a siege could be fought from. So that was good to know. Creeping in and shutting the door behind her, GLaDOS sat at the edge of the bed and reached forward to brush a strand of Chell's dark hair behind her ear, though she couldn't fathom why. The action served to alert the girl to her presence, and she peeked one blue eye open.

"I have received valuable intelligence regarding human matters, and have been advised to present you with a small token that will dispel any thoughts of murder, hard feelings and contempt while also fostering a sense of appreciation and thankfulness towards the gift-giver." GLaDOS informed her.

Raising herself up on one elbow in confusion, the test subject's surprised expression quickly turned into a glare as she soon saw what the android was holding out towards her.

"It's a Fat Blaster DVD and a weight loss shake!"

Needless to say, Chell was not amused.


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's Note:** I drew my first GLaDOS the other day and put it on my Tumblr. Horrible rough pen sketch, but I did one! Eventually I'll be able to work on my android version if all goes well. So many things! I can't decide whether to do art or writing or do extra writing and more writing or some art from the writing...I blame this on all of you, you know. I've never felt anywhere near as inspired before coming to the Portal community. You monsters!

* * *

><p>"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how the DVD is supposed to work if it just means you'll be sitting in front of the television. Maybe you burn off the calories while shaking the drink." GLaDOS murmured, turning the packet over to examine the information printed on the back. "You humans certainly have strange ways of changing your bodies. Personally I think they just want you to get fatter while watching in the hope that you'll buy more of their products. Watching athletes wave their arms to music is a scientifically unproven method that does not result in weight loss. In fact, it is far more likely that it will only result in you feeling more inadequate than you already are. This is a terrible gift. I don't know why that idiot suggested it." The android sneered, and tossed the DVD and the weight loss shake into the corner.<p>

"Thankfully, the same idiot also suggested that fatties like chocolate. Considering that you are not quite as tubby as you once were, this might actually be more appropriate as a gift to ensure you are at maximum girth." Reaching into her pocket, GLaDOS removed a small box from her pocket that contained an assortment of milk, dark and white chocolates with various fillings.

When Chell continued to stare at her, the supercomputer rattled the box under her nose and proceeded to give a higher-pitched noise like she was calling some chickens over to eat.

" Here Tub' Tub' Tub! Come on, it's chocolate. It's practically one of your five basic food groups. Along with fried chicken, sugar, ice cream and anti-tofu. That's like anti-matter, only it's made of _lard_." She informed her, helpfully.

Was that supposed to be a joke? A very GLaDOS-esque joke, naturally, but it was so very hard to tell if she was serious or sarcastic. Those chocolates did look awfully good, though. And the android had obviously gone out of her way to get them. Maybe she was just trying a very inappropriate method of cheering her up.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm not making you a cake. You'll just have to satisfy your voracious hunger with tiny seashell-shaped pieces of _brown_." GLaDOS shook the box at her again to try and tempt her into taking it.

It was hard to stay mad at her when the AI was looking at her in earnest like that. Deciding to give GLaDOS the benefit of the doubt for once, Chell relented with a sigh and took the box from her hands before patting the bed next to her.

"That's better. I knew you couldn't resist the subtle lure of appropriately selected, food-based products forever."

_:::I'm surprised that worked. Take it easy with the fat jokes or she might turn on you. Again.:::_ Caroline warned.

Not particularly liking that eventuality, the android situated herself next to the girl and leaned back against the headboard. She soon had the annoyingly familiar weight of Chell's head resting upon her chest and an arm wrapped around her waist. What was worse was that she found herself picking out various chocolates and feeding them to the nutter. Purely to foster a sense of goodwill between them so she wouldn't get murdered, of course. It certainly wasn't because the girl looked far too hideously comfortable to move. That would be absurd to think that she'd ever do something nice like that.

For a time, all was well between them.

GLaDOS had inexplicably managed to find it within her to forgive Chell for her insult, and Chell had managed to get enough endorphins released into her system from licking the sticky melted chocolate off the android's fingers, that she was happy enough to forgive her for the fat jokes. But GLaDOS soon found that seeking some of that happiness for herself was a much more difficult task. When that itchy tingle started, she had thought that having Chell satisfy her testing parameters would be a given. While the girl was willing enough to return the lengthy kiss, she still removed the android's hand from her breast when it strayed to the warm mound of flesh.

"Not in the mood." She mumbled against her lips, causing the AI to draw back in confusion.

"Mood? You have to be in a _mood_ for this? I don't recall ever hearing about humans going into heat like cats. Maybe my databases need updating. It's possible that normal humans have evolved from your primitive genes since you killed me and I haven't adjusted accordingly." GLaDOS grimaced at the thought of not being up-to-date.

Chell just rolled her eyes.

"Not that kind of mood. Just...you know. You've gotta _feel_ like it." She struggled to explain.

"No, I _don't_ know. You humans just rub your crotches on each other and babies happen. Or you rub your crotches on other things and get all sweaty. Also, moaning. There's a _lot_ of moaning. How hard can it be to get into a mood? You've never had a problem with it before."

"You mean other than the time you tried to death-fuck me?"

"_What_?"

"Back at Aperture, when you had the core in and you came looking for me."

"I hardly remember _that_. I most certainly didn't death-...No. I'm not even going to give you the satisfaction of saying that. You're making things up now."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Nope!"

"Uh. Fine. Yes. Other than that time when you ran away. Though that hardly counts. I was _incapacitated_. You were just looking out for my virtues."

"Virtues? HAH! Now that's a good joke. You have about as much virtue as a..._traffic light_."

"A traffic light?" GLaDOS confusedly queried.

"Yeah. They tell people when to stop and go to supposedly make sure they are safe, but they don't do a damn thing to help you if you have an accident. They just keep on going the way they always have."

For a while the android was silent as she pondered that particular comparison. Sadly, she was forced to admit that the test subject was right, even though she didn't want to admit to being similar to such a simple and inferior piece of equipment.

"That's hardly a fair-"

"Would you have stopped to help me if I was testing and I fell and hurt myself and couldn't continue?"

"No. I'd have to sweep you into the incinerator if a test subject was rendered unable to test."

"And what about now, with your rewards and punishments being different?"

"That will always be there. There are still rules to follow."

"And therein lies the problem. You're a traffic light of little virtue."

"How did we get from your questionable mating habits to talking about directional aids?" GLaDOS frowned. "That doesn't explain anything about moods."

Chell sighed. "Look, you don't get it because you're a robot. Humans have...other needs too, besides rubbing up against things."

"You didn't have other needs _before_." GLaDOS almost whined.

"I wasn't angry before. I'm just frustrated. Can we leave it at that?"

"Fine." The android petulantly huffed, rolling over.

"Don't be like that!" Chell groaned. "We can still kiss."

"No."

"Fine. Whatever. I'm going to sleep."

"Fine. See if I care."

"Fine!"

"Fine yourself!"

"Ugh! You're impossible!"

Chell threw her hands up and rolled over as well, facing away from the grumpy AI. Punching the pillow a few times, she attempted to settle down. It took a bit of squirming and wriggling before she eventually got into a position that she felt she could sleep in, and the test subject took some deep breaths to calm her frazzled patience. For a long time the room was absent of voice, with only the blanketing muffle of winter wind whipping past the window for company. Eventually, the android spoke; if somewhat hesitantly.

"You're wrong, you know...About what you said earlier."

"What did I say?" Chell mumbled into the pillow.

"About not having any friends...I do have _one_."

"...The chocolate was a nice touch."

* * *

><p>Waking up from a long period of downtime was never easy when sleeping next to Chell, GLaDOS came to realize. That particular morning involved peeling the test subject's armpit off her face where it was super glued with a layer of saliva that she'd drooled all over her earlier in the night. Times like that had made the android glad that she hadn't any such horrid bodily functions to torment people with. How could she even live with herself? Still, it didn't cause her to exit the bed in a rush to get away. Scrubbing the spit and armpit stank off her face with her sleeve sufficed for the short period of time before Chell woke up as well with a gargantuan yawn that ended in a strange squeak.<p>

"Why do I even put up with you?" GLaDOS drawled from somewhere under the mass of lunatic spread across her.

"You put up with me because I'm incredibly attractive and talented." Came the muffled answer before she rubbed the crusty yellow bits out of her eyes with her fists. It was soon followed by a nasty gust of morning breath when Chell mouth-breathed all over her before shoving her face into the android's breasts to use them as her new pillow.

"The only thing you are is disgusting. I'm seriously reconsidering that one roomful of air idea. It might actually kill you if I left in your own filth for that long."

"Well you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going back to Aperture."

"_What_?"

"I like it up here, GLaDOS." Chell raised her face from her chest, and looked at her imploringly. "There's sun and real food and things to do other than science all the time. And there's people I can talk to. I want to live here."

"There's sun outside the Enrichment Centre too, you know. I'd let you go up there every now and again so you don't suffer from severe Vitamin D deficiency. And you could go for a walk and talk to people. Though if you haven't realized, I'm perfectly capable of speaking. In fact, my conversations are approximately 98% more intellectually stimulating than most."

"It's not the same! I need to talk to _real_ people too. I can't live off you forever, you know. I'm not some core you can just rip off whenever y-...ah fuck! I didn't mean it like that. GLaDOS!"

Chell let out an exasperated sigh at seeing the look that settled across the supercomputer's face. But she quickly buried her fingers in the thick, scratchy material of the coat that GLaDOS was wearing; twisting the fabric around until her hands were tangled in it. It allowed her a little extra strength as she struggled to wrestle the insulted android back into the bed when she tried to escape.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she repeated. "You know I didn't! Just stop!"

"Yes you did! You wouldn't have said it! Admit it. You're just like all the others. You don't think I'm a real person. I bet I don't have thoughts or feelings either. I'm just a machine to you. Let me go!"

"No!" Chell tugged harder as GLaDOS managed to struggle to her feet. Although she was lithe in frame and not built for physical altercations, her brute strength afforded by metal alloy and machinery was winning out over bone and flesh.

"Let me go, you monster!" GLaDOS pushed Chell back down on the bed, thrusting one hand against her chest and digging her fingers into the girl's clavicle. She knew there were a few pressure points that might aid her in her escape by causing the girl some temporary pain and discomfort. The other hand, however, sought to dislodge the test subject's grip upon the lapels of her coat.

Unfortunately, Mrs Keegan chose that particular moment to come bursting in with a few obscenities directed at the android, having heard part of their little tiff while coming up the stairs.

"Get off her, ya crazy bitch!" the aging southerner yelled meeting GLaDOS's widened eye shortly after picking up the nearby lamp and swinging at her head. For an old woman, she'd managed to wind up quite a blow and there was a loud, metallic thunk as the base of the lamp collided with the side of the android's cranium.

Chell had let out a loud gasp and covered her own head when she saw the object whizzing over her, and letting go of the lapels meant that the AI stumbled back in a daze where she landed heavily against the wall. There was a sharp crack and rending of the plaster as a hole appeared from where she had hit it; GLaDOS having slid down the wall with her legs splayed out in front of her.

Scrambling madly to sit up, the test subject made it just in time to see her head drop to her chest and a lengthy burst of static hiss sputtered from her speakers as the android went limp.

"Take that, ya mealy-mouthed hunk o' cybernetic scrap metal!" Mrs Keegan crowed gleefully.


	36. Chapter 36

Chell stared numbly down at the unmoving android on the floor, propped up only by the wall she leaned against. What the hell had just happened? Her opened mouth threatened to trickle another sticky layer of drool down her chin before she snapped it shut when GLaDOS gave a small twitch amongst the hiss of static. Frankly, she didn't know whether to stay where she was or slide down on the floor to help her. She didn't particular want to run the risk of being accidently struck by her if she lashed out before knowing what she was striking at. But Chell found the decision taken away from her when GLaDOS moved of her own free will.

The static still came in awkward bursts along with a stream of disjointed chatter as she tried to get to her feet. Unfortunately she was like a baby giraffe with all her components muddled and sending signals off in every direction; she was all legs and no balance. It seemed all fours was the way to go as she shakily crawled out from between the bed and the wall and tried to stick one leg out to help push herself up. But even that simple movement was hindered when Chell leapt upon her and wrapped her arms around her head and shoulders.

"Don't!"

The test subject cried, looking fearfully up at Mrs Keegan, who had raised the heavy metal lamp again in preparation to give the android another walloping for still being alive.

"Get outta the way, sweet cheeks. That brute's still twitchin'. She ain't gunna hurt you no more if I have any say in it. Just look at you! Protectin' her after all she's done to you! You need to let her go and let someone give her what's comin' to her!"

"She didn't do anything!" Chell shrieked; her wide blue eyes rapidly flipping back and forth between the lamp and the older woman's eyes imploringly. "She didn't do it. She didn't do anything."

Her grip upon the android tightened when GLaDOS let out another stream of jumbled splutters and once again tried to push herself up to stand. But even her own body had designs against her, and coupled with the test subject's weight, she came crashing to the floor when her arm spasmed and went jerking out to the side against her own free will.

"Shhh. Just stay still. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"Babababa. K-k-k fssshh. Wa wa...fff-f-f...I'm ma...mamama. Ma!" GLaDOS replied as the test subject rolled her twitching body over and cradled her head close to her chest as she sat there with her.

She didn't even appear to register the horrified and worried look on Chell's face until the girl started stroking her hair over the spot where a large dent had caved in part of her cranium. Even then, her own distressed expression came more from the fact she could feel something warm leaking from her one nostril and from her lips. The sticky black fluid was viscous enough that its flow was not excessive, and allowed Chell time to find something to wipe it away. It reminded her of oil. In fact, it probably was, which meant that it wasn't a good thing that it was happening.

"Ch-ch-ch...M-mm." GLaDOS almost whimpered, her eyes wide and unfocused as she managed to tangle one hand in the test subject's singlet and keep it there. Nothing else seemed to want to work.

"It's okay. It's okay. You'll be fine. I'll fix this. I'll fix it. Just-...um...Just try to relax." Chell babbled worriedly, while another loud hiss of static gave her a fright.

The android continued to tug at her shirt, her violent jolts stretching the fabric until it threatened to rip. But she hardly gave it a thought as she used the hem of it to rub more of the oily fluid from the supercomputer's face. Leaning down, the girl pressed a warm and hopefully comforting kiss to GLaDOS's forehead and only held her tighter.

Lowering the lamp and dropping it onto the bed, Mrs Keegan looked down at the two of them with no small amount of concern for the mental state of the girl she'd come to consider as her own daughter.

"Chell-"

"Don't you _Chell_ me!" the dark-haired female growled. "You hurt her for no reason! She wasn't attacking me. She was just trying to leave and I wouldn't let her. It was my fault. Not hers." She nuzzled her nose into the synthetic fibres of her white hair.

"T-the...it's..ffff. I'm fine fine ffff-f-f-fine. Base. Ten. Four." GLaDOS stuttered again.

"No you're not."

"I'mmmmm not?"

"Just...shush." Chell begged, more to keep herself calm than anything else.

"B-bbbb-uht I like-...d-p-pu-ppp pa. -parfait." Her admission that she supposedly enjoyed dessert did nothing to assuage the test subject of her worries. Nor did the way she managed to get the other hand up to gently run her fingertips along Chell's cheek like she'd never seen such a thing before.

"Ohhh. Wow." She let her hand fall back into her lap, and just continued staring at the girl as a strange little smile crossed her face. "I'm okay now!"

It wasn't particularly convincing, but she did manage to get to her feet without falling back on her head, so that was something; even if it was a little shaky. Chell supported her in her endeavours, though gravity now had more of an advantage in making more of the oil leak out of the android's nose. The trickle from her lips had seemed to stop, and it looked like the nano-bots were doing their job in patching up the cracks that had caused the problem in the first place. But wiping it away for herself soon proved to be a problem, as she only ended up holding her hand in front of her face.

"Why...Why is that not doing right?" GLaDOS sluggishly muttered, her hand waving about but not going any closer to her face.

"Here. Come here." Chell took her gently by the back of her head and stood upon her toes to get high enough to wipe the oil away once again with her shirt, which she had raised. "You should be sitting down."

"I'll not be doing sitting today, thank you ma'am! I'm good to go. Rocket science. Fzzzzt! Like a laser beam!" GLaDOS punched the air in front of her to illustrate her point of being a laser beam.

"Okay, why don't we just have a bit of a rest over here on the bed?"

"Ohhhh...That...is the BEST idea _EVER_! Has anyone told you how amazing you are? You could be a _doctor_ with ideas like that!" GLaDOS promptly wrapped Chell up in the biggest hug she could manage and didn't let her go. Instead, she just stood there with her face buried in her shoulder.

Both the test subject and Mrs Keegan exchanged an increasingly worried set of looks the longer the android spent talking.

"Hey. Hey guesssssss what?"

"Uh, what?"

"Hohhhh. Ummm. I forgot. Hey, do you um. Uh. I think it was made from ice cream." The once powerful AI now stared up at the roof with her mouth open, placing herself at risk of tumbling backwards into the wall again from how far she had tipped herself back to do so.

"Oh god. What did you do?" Chell moaned, tugging at her hair. "She's gone stupid."

"Hey, I rest my case." GLaDOS glared, pointing at her. "No. No I don't. I resent it. I resent um...I resennnnnnt..._so_ _many_ _things_." She managed to startle the two women by the burst of laughter that could only come from either a stoner or a simpleton as she flopped back into the chair she used to sit in to recharge herself near the power outlet.

"Well, that was certainly unexpected. Maybe this is a good thing? She might be nicer to you now." Mrs Keegan hesitantly suggested as the android stared at them with an open-mouthed grin like she was comedian waiting for them to comprehend a joke.

"It's...possible." Chell wasn't so sure that she wanted that.

"Ohhh. Yes. I'll be really gohhh. I'll be really good. See? Do you...do you want a hug? I'll give them really good ones." She promptly stood up again and lunged towards Chell to entrap her in a crushing bear hug. "Hm. You smell nice." She cooed, before ensuring her nose was thoroughly tickled by the soft strands that she buried it in. "Like hair."

"This must be the equivalent of robots gettin' drunk."

"No, it's the equivalent of robot brain damage, no thanks to y- STOP EATING MY HAIR!" Chell tugged it out of the supercomputer's mouth.

"But it tastes like-..oh, wait. I don't have taste buds, do I?"

"Hey, you know what would be a really good idea, GLaDOS?"

"What?"

"We're going to do a little activity together. You're going to lie down on the bed and close your eyes and sleep until I tell you to wake up, and I'll try to figure out how to fix all of this. Do it for science."

"I like science!"

"I know you do. Just lay down now." Chell tried with all the patience of an exhausted parent trying to convince a child to do something. When GLaDOS finally did as she asked, she was able to smash her fists into her eyes and grind them into her face in frustration and exhaustion as the adrenaline started wearing off and left her more tired than what she had started out as.

"Sweet cheeks?"

"What."

"Look, I'm sorry for ruinin' your honey, but I only did it to protect you. You know that, right?" Mrs Keegan soothed, rubbing the girl's arm.

"I know." She sighed. 

* * *

><p>As it turned out, GLaDOS's little sleep had done her some good. The downtime had allowed the nano-bots to do their work, repairing as much as they were able. While they were able to mend the oil leak and reorganise some of her programming, they weren't able to do anything about the dent and some of the other physical injuries that ailed her. Most importantly, she seemed to have regained most of her wits about her. While her speech pattern had been fixed and she was no longer stuttering and spluttering, her personality remained completely re-wired. Instead of the biting insults and fat jokes, GLaDOS happily buzzed about with a smile, helping out where she could.<p>

Even Chell had to admit that she was reluctant to take her back to Aperture and get her fixed when the android quite sweetly presented her with a small flower that she'd picked from the garden. And frankly, the compliments that she was getting had the test subject blushing like a schoolgirl.

Nice GLaDOS was, well, _nice_.

It was such a drastic change and although she knew that the right thing to do was restore the AI to normality, she decided to milk it for all it was worth while she could. Chell voiced absolutely no complaints whenever a back rub or a foot massage was offered, nor did they appear when the android was quite willing to snuggle up with her and give her a kiss or two without expecting anything more of her. The only thing that she COULD find to complain about was the way she followed her around the place like a lost puppy, always with a smile on her face like she was some kind of...robot. It had irked her to the point of snapping at her to leave her alone for a bit, but what was more worrisome than potentially igniting the android's ire was that GLaDOS did as she instructed without any hint of malcontent. All she did was wander off with a bubbly "Okay!" and went to stand in another room or find something to do.

Even Mrs Keegan was enjoying having her around with the attitude readjustment.

But Chell knew that she had to take GLaDOS back to Aperture the moment the android wished her good luck in making up with Billy.


	37. Chapter 37

Chell stared in shock at the android watering the plants on the windowsill. Did she seriously just wish her luck after that particular announcement? After all that had happened? It didn't take much for her to wrestle the water jug from her and then take GLaDOS by the hand. A quick word with Mrs Keegan to inform her where they were going, and the android was happily tottering along behind the test subject as she lead them down the road and through the wheat field. At least this time she'd managed to grab a decent coat before she'd left.

"This is nice. I like this place. Very conducive to science. Very clinical." The supercomputer informed her as they wandered through the facility towards the main chamber.

"I'm sure you do. But we need to fix you."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, you have a giant dent in your head. And two, you're not...you. So you need to hook yourself back up into that and fix yourself." Chell pointed at the chassis hanging from the roof.

"Okay!" GLaDOS agreed, and smiled at her again.

"Are you going to do it?" Chell prompted.

"How do I fix it?"

Now that wasn't a possibility that the test subject had even thought to consider. She'd taken it for granted that GLaDOS was still pretty much herself and knew what she was doing; other than the whole problem with her suddenly being nice. But forgetting how to transfer her core back to the facility was an entirely different problem that she had no experience with. It had always been up to the metal giant looming above her to be in charge of all that technical stuff.

"Um...Maybe there's something around here you can plug yourself into?" she suggested hopefully, knowing that the core transfer receptacle was off limits for this particular venture. She highly doubted that something GLaDOS spent a lot of time on that was as delicate as the android was would be put through the same horrible experience with that machine, knowing the memories attached to it.

"What about that?" GLaDOS asked, pointing up towards the roof at one of the wires that was dangling near the chassis with nothing attached to it. It looked like it might have had a plug on the end.

"Possibly. Try it. Can you still access the facility to get it down here?"

It took some odd facial contortions of ultimate concentration before the thick black wire gave a shudder and dropped from the roof in a manner that was hardly reminiscent of the usual grace with which the supercomputer did things. Upon examining the end of it, she determined that it would indeed fit into a port in her back that she was able to find once she'd peeled some of the artificial flesh away and gotten Chell to plug it into her.

"Wait!" the girl started when the heavy-duty wire started to lift the android off the floor.

"Yes?"

Chell's mouth uselessly flapped open and closed a few times as she tried to think of what to say while the AI was lowered back down again to meet her.

"Um...I just wanted to-...Well...If this works and you're back to normal, I'm not going to see this version of you again. So um..." grabbing her by the lapels to tug her down even further, she pressed her lips to the artificial ones waiting in front of her. "I'm going to miss this." She murmured. Another brief kiss followed her admission before she pushed GLaDOS away from her so that the process could continue.

When the main chassis took over and came back online there was a great whirr and hum of activity before the limp humanoid body was lifted up into the reach of the delicate manipulation claws and tugged beneath the floor. Chell could hear the faint sounds of drills buzzing about like a hive of bees for a time before everything was silent. The golden eye of the metal beast looming above her refused to meet her gaze as it concentrated on the task at hand. And before long it went limp again as an undented android was presented to her and disconnected from the facility. Even then, she didn't appear to want to look at her and instead remained rather quiet.

Chell was forced to sidle up to her and wrap her arms around her waist to get her attention away from the floor.

"Hey. You're back, right?"

"Why did you take so long to bring me back here?"

A small sigh escaped the lips of the dark-haired woman before she nuzzled her nose into the supercomputer's chest.

"I...kind of like that you." She nervously fiddled with one of the shiny buttons. "I liked it when you weren't mean to me, and I liked it when you gave me compliments. It was...nice."

GLaDOS was quiet as she absorbed that particular lot of information. She was silent for so long that Chell figured she wasn't going to make any comment on it and instead took her by the hand again to lead her back to Mrs Keegan's cottage. The test subject made sure to burrow herself into the android's side. Not to protect herself from the cold, but to hopefully reassure her robotic companion that there were no hard feelings and that she still enjoyed being around her. Whether GLaDOS would see it like that remained uncertain, but she'd be doing everything she can to avoid her blowing up in her face again. It might mean a bit of grovelling and sucking up to her, but she was fairly confident that she could remain on the supercomputer's good side.

Getting her talking again was a much more difficult task.

She'd even considered just stripping off and giving her a lap dance in hopes that the promise of euphoria would be enough to get her back in spirits, even though she didn't particularly feel in the mood herself. But that plan was eventually abandoned in favour of letting GLaDOS sulk for a while. She seemed to need that time to herself to process things, and it wouldn't have been particularly fair to either of them if she wasn't going to give it her all. So by the end of the day, Chell had ended up in bed and the android remained sitting in the armchair near the wall. Not even returning from her shower completely naked had caused the brooding piece of machinery to give her much more than a double take. A nice long stare was what she'd been aiming for, but all she'd gotten was a brief glance or two here and there as she waltzed around and found some sweat pants and a shirt to wear to bed.

Freezing her nipples off had been a complete waste of time.

Well, maybe not a complete waste, as GLaDOS had allowed the test subject to crawl into her lap and curl up there. As long as they had that tiny little room and Aperture, they could still be together without the world touching them, Chell reasoned, tugging the supercomputer's arms around her and burying her face in GLaDOS's neck.

"Are you mad at me?" the muffled voice mumbled against the artificial flesh.

"You took advantage of me. I was as brain damaged as you are, and you made me look like an idiot by letting me do all those things. Of course I'm mad at you." She sounded more like she was exhausted, rather than angry. A fact which the test subject hoped would work to her favour.

She left a little kiss under GLaDOS's ear.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not who you are. And I'm sorry I didn't take you back to get fixed sooner. I just wanted to hear you say a couple of nice things about me every now and again. I actually felt good about myself for once when you did that." Chell admitted with a soft sigh. "I just don't see why you can't say positive things about me more often."

"Have _you_ ever said positive things about _me_?" GLaDOS shot back. "Why should I have to be the one who strokes your fat little ego all the time? You never even so much as thanked me for getting you out of that mess you made of the Enrichment Centre with that moron, or for any of the food I put in convenient locations so you wouldn't starve to death; or making sure you didn't die from blood loss when you killed me. You didn't even thank me for saving you from getting sucked out into space." She huffed.

"I continually patched you up and took care of you and put up with you destroying my home. I worked for years turning the most incomprehensible and insane ideas into a physical reality. I defied the laws of physics and all conventional rules on science, and not once did anyone ever thank me for it or tell me that I did a good job. They just stole all my accomplishments and claimed them as their own because they created me. And yet, they never even had the intelligence to see that I was more than just some computer. All they ever did was complain about me whenever I did something they didn't like. They never saw any of my good points. Humans are the most self-centred creatures I've ever had the misfortune of coming across. So why should I sit here and talk about how wonderful you supposedly are when you treat me like everyone else does? The only difference between you and them is that you actually go out of your way to engage in sexual relation-...oh, wait. No, they did that to me as well. As far as you're concerned, I'm just some machine. It works both ways. So as far as _I'm_ concerned, you're just another tubby little lunatic trying to use me for your own gain."

"That's not true!" Chell protested.

"Isn't it?"

The test subject's eyebrows knotted together as she tried to think of an example that she could disprove GLaDOS's theory with. But she came up blank even after a good deal of foraging, and eventually had to concede the AI's point. She hadn't been particularly good to her, had she?

"You're right."

"Of course I am."

"I wasn't finished. You're right and I'm sorry. And thanks for doing all those things for me too."

"That was hardly sincere."

"Fine. What about this then?" Chell wiggled around and eventually threw her leg over the android's lap so that she was facing her. It allowed for a much better position to kiss the white-haired female in; having secured her arms around GLaDOS's neck so that she couldn't escape it. "Is this better?" she queried after coming up for air. "What about-"

But the path some of her fingers were taking was quickly hit with an abrupt detour when the android grabbed her tightly by the wrist and squeezed it in warning with a stern glare to match.

"My test euphoria is NOT some button you can just switch on and off every time you want to win an argument or get me to do whatever you want, you monster. I've been noticing that a lot lately. You seem to be developing a tendency to incapacitate me whenever things aren't going your way. In fact, I'd like to take the time to remind you of what happened the last time humanity thought they could control me with it. I seem to develop this horrible tendency to _kill_ them." GLaDOS growled.

"But...I thought it made you happy..."

"What allows me to be happy is _science_. What _forces_ me to be happy is some stupid program that some scientists installed to make me sing and dance like their perfect little puppet. It's a stupid addiction that I could have been above it all by now if you hadn't ruined everything. You're enabling it. And look where it has gotten me. I'm hiding out in some little room with the lunatic that killed me instead of doing science. It's pathetic."

"Fine. If that's what you think, then you can just do your own damn tests and get the euphoria from that if that's what you want." Chell threw up her hands and climbed out of the android's lap in a tizzy.

"I _can't_."

"What?" the test subject turned back around at the small little voice.

"I can't activate my own euphoria. That was the whole point of installing it. If I wanted it, I had to behave for them. Even when I did behave they didn't always reward me. But they made certain to punish me every single time I did something wrong. It was worse than being Pavlov's dog." GLaDOS muttered.

Chell didn't know whether to feel frustrated or sorry for her for what she had been through. Eventually the pity party came to town and she ended up back in the AI's lap. For all that GLaDOS protested about her treatment of her, it didn't stop her from burying her fingers in the material of the test subject's trousers when she was thoroughly kissed again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even realize that I was doing that most of the time. What if-...What if you come and see me at lunchtime tomorrow? I'll be at work all day." She fiddled with the material of the android's coat.

"And what would that accomplish besides assisting you in avoiding the subtle lures of Japanese whalers and their blubber-filled science projects that no doubt look to you like a delicious snack?"

"We could go on a date? Like...a real date. You know, out in public?"

"I'm aware of what a 'date' entails. It is an attempt by two members of the human species to purchase expensive food items and talk about the future, while those around them secretly judge them and their mushy feelings towards one another. The general populace will be disgusted by their display of public affection as their own love lives are devoid of sexual intimacy, but they will pretend they are decent people and give a round of applause if the intent of the date is to enter into a monogamous and lifelong reunion by the presentation of expensive jewellery; the proposal of which is typically initiated by the male of the species. A public proposal will generally force the female into accepting his proposal even if her mushy feelings are not quite as powerful. However, if the presentation of a ring and statement of romantic intent is initiated by the female, it results in a comical tale where the male is unfaithful, intoxicated, and generally ends up tied to a lamp post naked after what is known as a bachelor party the night before the solemnization of various promises that are hard to keep." GLaDOS explained.

"The sad part is that he didn't want to get married when the female initially wanted to enter into such a relationship, but after making many mistakes he inexplicably came to the conclusion that he suddenly loves her and finds it difficult to get to his wedding on time due to aforementioned lamp post incarceration technique employed by his male companions. I can only assume that this course of events is related to the strange traits of human females having all of their brains sucked out when they are presented with shiny rocks, or the male train of allowing their masculinity devoured by the ravenous sex-beast across the table that wishes to prevent them from engaging in polygamy. In the case of homosexual relationships of the female persuasion; you already moved in with me LONG before we ever engaged in sexual activity, so I think we are quite settled on that account."

Chell blinked.

"Or we could just make out?"

"Oh. Well, that is also an acceptable outcome of 'dates', as far as my database is concerned. Am I in any way obliged to ensure you become pregnant in the back seat of a Buick, or is that just reserved for high school seniors?"


	38. Chapter 38

**Author's Note:** Forgot to mention this on the last chapter, but I now have a picture of android GLaDOS up on my Tumblr that I drew. She looks like a weird cross between Kirstie Alley and Natalia Tena. Not what I intended, but that's just because nothing ever comes out the way I hope. I'll have to keep practicing. So go check her out at pandorawriting(dot)tumblr(dot)com! 

* * *

><p>"Uhhh. No?"<p>

"Oh good. Because I have _no_ idea how I was going to make _that_ happen. I mean, I may be a genius but that's just a little out of my comfort zone. I'm sure if I applied myself I could find a way..." GLaDOS muttered to herself.

"I think you might have been watching a few too many movies. Let's just stick with you coming to see me at lunch and we'll go from there." Chell suggested and gave the android a little peck on the lips.

"I do NOT watch too many movies, and if I do, it's purely for the science. There is valuable data that can be gained by analysing how humans portray themselves in fictional tales."

"Mhm. Sure."

"You don't believe me."

"Of course I believe you!"

"Liar."

* * *

><p><em>:::Oh my god. This is adorable!:::<em> Caroline squealed. _:::You're preening! You're actually preening!:::_

_:::Shut up.:::_ GLaDOS grumbled as she stood in front of the mirror, making sure that not a synthetic hair on her head was out of place.

With that particular mission accomplished, the rest of her attention was turned upon her clothing, which was smoothed out dozens of times by a pair of surprisingly nervous hands. She _was_ preening, wasn't she? This was terrible. Since when did the pudgy little loony deserve to have her looking her best? It wasn't like she went out of the way to get dressed up for anyone other than herself. Though, to be more correct, she only dressed up for herself and everyone _except_ GLaDOS. The android huffed, but shrugged on her pea coat and tucked in the dark scarf anyway.

When she turned, she hardly expected to see Mrs Keegan standing at the other end of the hallway, staring at her with a knowing smile upon her face. If GLaDOS had the ability to pale at being caught, she surely would have. As it was, she just had to settle for standing there like a deer in the headlights before slinking towards the stairs and squeezing past her. She refused to meet the woman's eye, and instead hurried out the door to meet Chell.

Old people were terrifying.

They could see into your very soul and chill your fluid catalytic cracking unit faster than test subjects could kill you.

GLaDOS gave a little shudder at the thought and hurried down the road towards the town where she found the test subject rugged up and sitting on the wooden bench. From what she could see, she a small bag in her hands that steamed in the cold weather from whatever was inside it. The android took a seat next to her.

"So, what's a tubby little lunatic like you doing in a town like this? Oh, eating again, I see. How predictable."

"Are you seriously trying to use a pick up line on me?" Chell snorted, and reached into the bag from which she pulled out a golden potato wedge. It was quickly stuffed into her mouth, where she tore at it ravenously with her horrible little fangs.

GLaDOS stared in horrified silence as the fluffy white interior spilled out, exposing it to the icy weather.

"What?" the test subject queried, huffing around the piece in her mouth that dared to burn her tongue. "I've discovered that potatoes are actually quite delicious." She grinned, licking the rest of the wedge before stuffing it in her mouth as well.

"You're a monster. Why would you do that? What did that potato ever do to you? Ugh. No wonder this world is slowly dying. You're eating everything in it."

"Y'know, with the way you carry on about food, I'm inclined to think that you're just jealous that you can't actually eat any."

That prompted another round of silence from the android, who quickly turned her eyes away from her.

"Oh my god. You _are_, aren't you? I'm sorry." Chell sat the bag of potato wedges down and licked the chicken salt off her fingers before wiping them on her trousers. The stubby little digits then wrapped around GLaDOS's face as she drew her in for a kiss without even thinking of the consequences of anyone seeing them.

The action allowed the android to secretly analyze the composition of the salty, potato-based product that still remained on her lips, but it hardly made up for the fact that she couldn't actually taste it.

"Why are you even jealous about it anyway? It's just food." she queried curiously and the moping robot.

"Exactly. Everyone always made a big deal about it, like it was something really important." GLaDOS muttered. "They'd always go and gorge themselves on meat and leaves, or alcoholic beverages after work, and during it. Always talking about what they had for lunch and how this lunch was better than that lunch. And there was always cake whenever they had a celebration. They never let me in on it, but it looked like fun. They just left me there in the dark while they went and stuffed their tubby little faces full of it when it was MY accomplishments they were celebrating."

Chell suddenly lost her appetite.

Picking up what remained of the back of wedges, she squeezed it into a moist ball of crushed potato and brown paper before lobbing it into the nearby bin.

"I see all that testing has paid off. You have a decent concept of trajectory and terminal velocity. Though I suspect you may have been practicing that just by walking through doorways and not getting caught in them. Tubby."

"You know, you were doing so well with the compliments there, and then you just had to ruin it." Chell rolled her eyes, but leaned into the AI's side anyway.

"You know you like it. You're a glutton for punishment, and-"

"Everything else, right?"

"Correct. Now you're learning. I'm impre-...Don't punch me! I may have said punching was a good idea, but not when you're punching _me_." The supercomputer grumbled at the dull thud that hit her side. "I'm fairly certain that this behavior does not equate to the date you promised me. Are you going to engage me in sentimental activities with the intention of wooing me and inciting passion into an otherwise lackluster series of events punctuated by sexual activity, or should I just leave?"

"Um...yeah, I'm just...working up to that."

"Well you're doing a terrible job. No wonder you can't get anyone else to mate with you. It does explain why you're resorted to sleeping with your worst enemy, who happens to be a computer, if you've forgotten. Nobody else wants you." GLaDOS was met with a furious slap across her cheek as the test subject stood and stormed off with a glare.

"What? Huh...Where did I go wrong with that one?" she blinked, remaining on the seat. From her pocket, she pulled a small book and flipped through it. It said right there on the page to make sure that the object of one's desire was to be made aware of the fact that you enjoyed their company and were interested in forming a monogamous relationship with them. So why hadn't that worked? She flipped through another couple of pages quickly before stuffing it in her pocket and hurrying after the test subject. She cleared her throat to gain the woman's attention.

"I have recently been made aware that I should compliment you on your appearance. Well done. You have one."

Chell halted in her stride and turned to face the white-haired android as if she'd suddenly grown six arms and a couple of extra heads.

"Uh..." GLaDOS searched through what she'd just added to her file in hopes there would be something else she could use. This business of human mating rituals was terribly confusing. Who would have thought they'd need so much reassurance and ego-stroking to want to get their gears caught?

"Your surface area is smaller than it first appears to be. Have you been using the liposuction equipment again?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Chell growled. But the supercomputer simply leapt into her path and prevented her from moving.

"No! Wait! I've got it now. Darwin was wrong about you. I'm sure you'd survive. In fact, I'm almost positive, because I can't seem to get rid of you."

Chell stared at her with an incredulous expression plastered upon her face. "Are you...trying to _flirt_ with me?"

"Well, I was looking up scientific articles about human mating rituals, and I found that humans require their prospective partners to fill them with feelings of joy and promises of being with them forever. Or maybe it was roast beef." GLaDOS consulted the book again. "Oh. No, it was fill them with roast beef and promise them joy and monogamy. Possibly monotony. That part is smudged. It's very complicated. I'm not surprised that humans have an extremely low rate of reproducing after the Combine attacks. Much of the literature has been lost on how to successfully perform these rituals, which appear to be essential in gaining attention and sexual intercourse."

Chell reached over and yanked the book out of the android's hands before flipping it over to read the cover.

"Dating For Dummies? Seriously?" she snorted.

"I'm NOT a dummy. I just figured that it might be a good place to start, as neither one of us is familiar with the practice. I can obviously understand much more complex tasks, but with you being brain damaged, I didn't want to confuse you." GLaDOS protested weakly.

"This is hardly scientific. Throw it out."

"But-"

"Throw it out." Chell commanded again, and pointed to the bin near the bench.

With a sigh at the loss of valuable data, she did as the test subject wanted and threw the little yellow book into the bin.

It allowed Chell a moment to compose herself amidst the silent laughs that shook her body. It was kind of cute, she had to admit. GLaDOS may not understand much about dating, but she was actually making an effort. She couldn't fault her for that. And the realization of such put her in a far better mood than before, even if it did have the AI staring at her oddly from her sudden desire to hug her.

"See, this is what I was talking about. One moment you are punching, and then you're doing that disgusting _cuddling_ thing again. How is anyone supposed to pick up on the correct signs that signify your willingness to mate with them?"

"Just...shut up." Chell commanded once more, gaining a valuable couple of inches in height by standing up on her toes to kiss the artificial construct in front of her. It was better if she didn't think about who might have been watching. "Come on. Let's go for a walk. I still have another half hour." Taking GLaDOS by the hand and keeping her gaze on the icy path in front of her so she didn't accidentally catch anyone's eye and feel like she had to explain what she was doing, the test subject slipped and slid along the unsalted sidewalk. Not that a place like this really required a sidewalk, but there was a small one there anyway. It must have been the talk of the town when it was installed.

When they were finally at the end of the single street of commercial buildings, she pulled the android around the side with a sharp tug and then pushed her up against the wall before the AI even knew what was happening.

"What are you doing, you lunatic? This wall is cold."

"I believe I promised that there would be making out on this date?" she grinned.

"What kind of 8-bit hussy do you take me for? Making out on the first date; honestly! That's like plugging in a USB compatible device and not even asking if I want to open the files!" she huffed, but offered no other complaints when the test subject kissed her. Nor did she offer them when Chell slipped her hand up her thigh to tangle her fingers in the garter again. Whatever the lunatic saw in the useless scrap of material puzzled the AI.

But it certainly made her happy enough to return to work with flushed cheeks, swollen lips and a breathless grin.


	39. Chapter 39

**Author's Note:** What happened with Mrs Keegan, **Aziraphale**, is that she started to like the totally brain-damaged GLaDOS because she was being nice and treating Chell decently. Sure, she still has her misgivings about her, but she was hoping that it fixed her for good, though that hadn't been the intention of bonking her on the head. And she smiles at her not to be nice, but because she's all "Aha! I know what you're up to!" when she catches GLaDOS preening.

* * *

><p>Dating was a strange business, GLaDOS had concluded, long before the second date had even happened.<p>

She still didn't quite understand all the mechanisms behind it. It was something that was completely unscientific and so far away from her comfort zone that she simply had to follow along with whatever Chell seemed to be expecting. She didn't particularly like that that feeling of not knowing where they were going or what they were doing, but at least it was decidedly less intimidating than being a potato and having the lunatic carry her everywhere and rely on her to keep them alive. What WAS pleasant about the dating business though was the fact that all of the lunatic's attention was solely on her and not farm boy. There was just something within her that tingled with excitement in having the test subject completely enamored with her, and she suspected that it might have had something to do with her days of testing.

In a blank facility where everything was just black and white, _she_ was the voice that brought even the slightest hint of colour to the place. Test subjects interacted with _her_, and pushed _her_ buttons, and begged _her_ to get them out of there. It was entirely a matter of ego stroking, but she really did enjoy the attention. It was so very different from being ignored by the scientists that created her. She may have had direct interaction with them and her physical bodies, but it wasn't the same as actually being responded to like she was actually something more than just an experiment of science. Test subjects may have never seen her, but at least they spoke to her. And then along came Chell and turned all that on its head. She didn't speak or respond to her, other than following a couple of directives. And yet now that she had seen her in her physical form, she was talking AND responding; chiefly in the fashion of rubbing her hand across the top of GLaDOS's chest which lulled her into a rather relaxed state despite the fact that the central nerve bundle was no longer located there. She was rather glad she had taken that metal plate out of her chest; it meant she didn't even feel remotely inclined to get up and kill the idiots who had been staring at them in horror for some time. Of course, that may have been exactly why Chell was engaging in such activity while her lips were thoroughly molesting the spot just under her ear.

If she really thought about it, GLaDOS knew that she couldn't particularly fault them for staring like that. One minute Chell had been dating Billy, and then there were ridiculous rumours circulating that Chell was having sexual relations with a robot. It had been dismissed as a flight of fancy until that moment when the saw them with their own two eyes. But then again, making out in a diner probably wasn't the best way to break the news to a bunch of backwater hicks. The younger couples in town did like to sit in the booths just like they were and make out while their fries were being cooked, so it wasn't a complete disregard for social norms. It was simply that their idea of social norms didn't include lesbian robot fondling in public.

With the lunatic pressed up against her side like that, she could feel her heart fluttering against her ribcage like a hummingbird in a cage. It was a big ask that Chell completely out herself like that, and yet she had done so. The girl had a bundle of tightly strung nerves all day. It was the third time they'd actually gone out on one of these 'dates', and she'd spent the better part of the morning practically pulling her hair out by the roots while alternating between being tucked up at GLaDOS's side and dry heaving in the bathroom.

It was only the android's announcement that she wouldn't let her come to harm that finally relaxed the pale-faced girl and peeled her away from the toilet bowl. Chell had followed her along like a puppy after that, giving her strange little looks. And by the time she had gotten to the diner, she had been looking and feeling a whole lot better. Whatever conclusion she had came to worked for the AI and so she didn't question her about it; instead preferring to just lap up the attention she was receiving like an affection-starved kitten.

When she wasn't making some decidedly aggressive eye contact with the waitress that brought over Chell's meal, that was. It wasn't _her_ fault for doing so. That dinky little lady was staring at her quite rudely, or so she had informed Chell in a mutter after getting an elbow in the ribs for her behaviour. At least the test subject had placated her with the occasional kiss or stroke of her leg between bites of a delicious looking steak that was dripping with garlic butter and flecks of bright green parsley to make up for the fact she couldn't eat it herself.

As much as the whole concept of dating both frustrated and confused her, GLaDOS still managed to find herself enjoying it. Chell had been the one to decipher the mysteries of the ritual and decide what to do and where to go, but it still left her feeling like she should come up with something. This was especially so on the days where it didn't go so well and they received more than just weird stares. A few times it had left the test subject looking like she was close to crying, and that fact angered the android more than anything else. How dare they do that to her so easily when she'd spent ages trying to get the tenacious and stubborn brat to just give up and cry like all the others! To be rejected by her own kind was quite a bit different to being insulted by a machine, or being the machine treated badly by humans. Even she could see that, and confessedly felt something akin to sympathy for her. So GLaDOS, for once, didn't even venture out to make fun of her. There was a difference between cracking glass and breaking it. Instead, she sat quietly at the test subject's side when they got back to the cottage after that disaster and let her cling to her like a limpet; not even daring to comment on the way she huffed and wheezed while trying not to cry in front of the supercomputer.

It certainly hadn't done anything to help get Chell in this 'mood' she had spoken of days ago. All it made her do was want to cuddle and breathe all over her. The only moods it appeared that the girl could muster up were ones that involved denying GLaDOS any sort of test euphoria. She didn't appear to impressed by the grumbles from the android, and it had led to the android being kicked out of bed and taking up residence on the couch in the living room. Frankly, the only thing that stopped her from storming back up there and taking it out on her with some choice insults was the fact that Chell had joined her on the couch sometime during the night after slinking down the stairs with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a kid on a quest for a midnight snack of cookies. With a whispered apology in her ear and a warm test subject lying on top of her, the supercomputer felt her icy rage melt little by little until she had no choice but to forgive her for the misdeed. It had been a long day and Chell was no doubt still angry over what people had said to her, she reasoned, hoping that logic would help to lessen that disgustingly sappy feeling of forgiveness and stop it from spreading that warm sensation any further.

Then again, the warm sensation might have just been the puddle of drool that the girl was currently soaking her chest with.

GLaDOS sighed and let her head drop back to stare at the roof.

There had to be some way that they could mesh the two worlds together without either one of them getting hurt because of it. If Chell felt bad, it meant no testing and no test euphoria. Which she was sad to say she was starting to become rather addicted to it. Without science around her all the time, it was very hard to focus on anything else but that damnable itch for more. Whether it was the testing itself or just the _way_ Chell tested was no longer quite so clear cut. To go back to using Orange and Blue to get her intellectual jollies seemed a frustrating step down, and just wasn't quite the same. And yet the thought of using other humans to test for her in replacement of the one lying on top of her seemed equally as poor a choice. That particular battleground of Aperture Laboratories now had Chell's name written all over it and to let someone else come in and sully it seemed somehow wrong. And, dare she say it, she had become quite accustomed to having the pudgy monster curled around her at night instead of having to be content with darkness and a cold room. That was another thing that confused her. Why would having the test subject curled up at her side make her feel good? They were unconscious during a sleep cycle, so it seemed rather a waste to her, seeing as how they weren't experiencing anything.

But humans dreamed, and she didn't.

Maybe they experienced some kind of otherworldly connectedness to whomsoever's arms they were wrapped up in at night. Chell certainly seemed to like molesting her in her sleep well enough. At any rate, something had to be done to restore whatever they had before. It was such a shame that humans didn't just have automatic save features like she had. She could have just reset her and tried again to find out where it all went wrong.

With the test subject on top of her she could hardly get up and go and do something else, so GLaDOS decided a little research was in order to determine the best course of action. It didn't take long to connect herself to the internet where she spent the mindless hours of the rest of the night browsing about, narrowly avoiding viruses and promises of a larger penis. That Nigerian prince was going to be particularly unimpressed with the scathing email she'd sent in retort to his pitiful cries for help.

Eventually though, GLaDOS had herself the perfect plan that had her processors almost humming in delight. It would require a bit of time before it could be put into action, as she needed to convince Mrs Keegan to let her borrow the rusted old truck, but it would all be worth it. At the very least, it might turn out to be very interesting to see the look on Chell's face when they made their little trip to the city.

As it stood, she had cut it down right to the wire.

Chell would have had no trouble borrowing the truck, but the older woman had quite a few misgivings about lending it to GLaDOS. It had taken her longer than she had thought to convince her to hand the keys over, and it wasn't until the android had quietly and rather reluctantly told her of her plan to cheer the girl up after her most recent bout of sadness that Mrs Keegan finally did so.

The test subject, on the other hand, was quite confused when GLaDOS hurried her into a better state of dress and made her brush her hair before bundling her into the truck.

"Where are we going?"

"I have a surprise for you. A real one this time." The android gleefully informed her.

Despite all of the guesses and begging for a clue to where they were off to at such short notice, she refused to budge an inch on the subject until they were in a much larger city.

Once parked, it was there that GLaDOS finally withdrew something from her pocket and presented it to Chell.


	40. Chapter 40

**Author's Note:** If you guys haven't checked them out yet, I've done a few one-shot fics for people who have submitted prompts on my Tumblr, and I've posted them here on this site as well. Lots of extra sexy ChellDOS action for you all to enjoy.

This chapter contains a couple of lines from the SleepTalkinMan blog.

* * *

><p>Chell took a look at the item that had been given to her. A laminated card, attached to a lanyard. This was an entirely odd gift. Furthermore, GLaDOS appeared to have one as well. Studying it curiously as they climbed out of the truck, she looked to where the android was pointing down the street.<p>

"See that hotel? That's where we are going."

"Why are we going to a hotel?"

"You'll see. Just keep moving."

Giving the test subject a push in the right direction after looping the lanyard over her neck, the android followed closely behind her as they moved towards the hotel. And it was there they saw the sign situated out the front that informed the women of the situation that they were about to encounter. But of course, GLaDOS quickly clapped her hand over Chell's eyes so that she couldn't read it as they were heading in. With a little flash of their passes, she was able to get them inside to where all the action was happening.

In a large room filled with people and booths of all shapes and sizes, a large banner proclaimed that Chell had been dragged into a robotics convention. But not just any robotics convention. It was a robotics _appreciation_ convention. Her mouth immediately dropped open at all the blinking lights and flashy metal of the technologically advanced portion of the world that had been tucked away in this one room. Whatever these people were paying the hotel must have been phenomenal to make up for the drain on the electricity bill. The test subject stumbled back into GLaDOS as a strange looking robot that was three times as tall as her walked across her path, its gears clanking and generators whirring.

It was with a childlike curiosity and a little poke from her very own robot that Chell snuck a little further into the room, eyeballing all the wonders that there were to behold. She couldn't take it all in at once, and she had no idea where to look first. It made her feel dizzy, and she felt herself reaching out to clutch at GLaDOS's hand to bring her with her. But the white-haired AI had little other attention paid to her by the test subject, who was too enamored with her surroundings to care about the knowing smirk she was receiving from her.

Patient and quiet, GLaDOS let herself be led through the crowd by the dark-haired woman whose face was steadily growing redder by the minute. Was she even still breathing? They stopped at some of the booths run by a raving pack of science nerds, who were all too happy to tell her about their projects and where she could donate any funding towards future endeavours before giving demonstrations of whatever robotic implements they had with them at the time. She knew that Chell barely understood any of it, but she watched the girl just nodding and agreeing with whatever they were waving about in her face. It was all very basic compared to what was happening down in Aperture, but GLaDOS put up with it anyway. Some of it looked quite promising, and she knew she'd have to keep an eye on various students of the scientific arts to make certain that nobody would ever surpass what she was capable of.

It was with an eager glance towards a pair of black curtains in a doorway that she pushed Chell towards the restricted section marked for adults only.

"I think you'll find that this section is more to your tastes. Not that you're particularly fussy." GLaDOS murmured into her ear, as the test subject gaped at what was in front of her even more than what she had done in the other convention hall.

Did strip clubs for robots even exist? Because she was fairly certain that that was an android dancing around that pole up there, under all the different coloured lights.

The rest of the room was fairly dark, save for around a few seedier looking booths that were lit up with desk lamps. Unlike the rest of the convention, most of the robots in here appeared to be android-like in nature, with a few...obvious attachments. In fact, now that she thought about it, there was a hell of a lot of naked people too.

GLaDOS steered the girl towards one particular booth that had a woman reclining in front of a small contraption that was quite forcefully thrusting into her, much to her delight. A couple of men who had built the thing were pointing out its various features to the small gathering of potential investors. To a trained eye, it looked like little more than a battering ram, but to anyone else, it was simple and effective for its purpose.

Standing behind the rigid test subject who couldn't seem to wrench her eyes away from what she was seeing, GLaDOS wrapped her arms around Chell's waist and pressed her lips to her neck. She didn't even have to see her face to know how red she was getting. Her short and sharp breathing and the slight tremble in her legs was good enough for its purpose. She could even taste the sweat starting to trickle down her neck.

"Come on. We can't stand here all day. There's plenty more to see." The AI urged, leading a stuttering Chell to the next booth. And the next. And the one after that.

The test subject's tongue had long since dried up into a horrid-tasting fuzzy lump that stuck to the roof of her mouth and refused to comply with her demands to moisten her lips. It just flopped around uselessly and made it difficult for her to even take a wheezing gasp of air. A distinct ringing in her ears accompanied the black spots dancing in her vision, making her essentially deaf to the music and the goings-on around her. Unable to take much more of what she was seeing, Chell spun around and buried her face in GLaDOS's chest as she clung to her desperately. Was she having a panic attack?

The supercomputer could feel her heated skin against her silicone flesh, and she reached up a hand to stroke Chell's damp hair to help calm her down. It was then that she started murmuring directly into her ear while her hands may have roamed a little further than they should have.

"It took me far longer than it should have to find this place." She admitted. "It only occurs once every three years. But I knew we had to come here. It appears that you're not the only human who enjoys getting bent over the nearest item of furniture and-"

"Hey, cool android. Where'd you get it?" a voice interrupted them.

Chell spun around in the AI's embrace, her face going from red to a pasty white in almost an instant. Her nails dug into the thick material of the coat that covered the android's arms.

"She looks pretty fancy. Definitely not cheap. Is that a Black Mesa model? Those guys are the only ones around here that make heavy duty stuff like that." The young man asked, adjusting his glasses as he peered more slowly at her under his shaggy mop of dark hair.

"Hardly. Those imbeciles wouldn't know advanced technology if it dropped from the roof and crushed them into a bloody pulp. I was created by Aperture Science." GLaDOS haughtily sniffed.

"Aperture Science?" he whistled. "Those guys are old school genius! I can't believe you actually have Aperture technology! Those guys haven't been seen around in forever. I thought it was good and gone. How did you get Aperture tech? Where did you get it?" he babbled excitedly at Chell. "And what can she do?"

"Exercise. Unlike you, fatty."

"Oh. She's one of _those_ types." He grinned knowingly at Chell, which turned her pallor back into a hearty blush.

"W-what?" she managed to mumble.

"Oh, y'know...Everyone around here has their kinks." The man laughed. "She's a dominatrix, right? Little bit of slap and tickle? Hey, some people like it rough, some people like it sweet. No harm in that. And she hardly looks sweet. No offence. Besides, that's a dead giveaway right there." He pointed down at GLaDOS's leg, where they could both see the lacy edge of the garter poking out from under her skirt. "Are you guys doing demos, or are you just sticking around for the show? I'm Chris, by the way." He stuck his hand out towards Chell.

"S-show? What? Demo?" Chell stuttered, before GLaDOS grabbed her hand to push it out towards the male so he could shake it.

"This is my friend, Lumpy. Lumpy, say hello." She only received a blank look from the girl. "I'm sorry. Lumpy's shy. Lumpy, say hello!" GLaDOS demanded with a sigh before giving up at getting her to communicate with people like a normal person would. "Come on, Lumpy. We can go to the sweet shop."

They left the male behind them in a fit of laughter, and probably wondering which one of them was the actual robot.

"You know, talking to people is probably a good idea. I did bring you here so you can interact with your own species without worrying about what they'll think of your technology fetish."

"Stop telling everyone we're friends. Don't amplify my shame." Chell groaned, but allowed herself to be steered towards a booth that actually did contain various confections. Of course, they were all in the shape of various sexual organs and almost unidentifiable pieces of technology.

With the test subject soon happily sucking on an aptly named Penis-Pop that bore a striking resemblance to the pink testing core of recent memory, GLaDOS sat her down in a chair near to the stage where the android was dancing. After purchasing a bottle of root beer and shoving it into Chell's other hand, the AI found she had to both uncap it and stop it from spilling into her lap when she sat next to the girl as Chell was hardly paying her any attention. In fact, she also had to remind her that she was supposed to keep sucking on the confection in her mouth – not just let it rest there while she drooled a trail of sugary pink saliva down its length.

Wrapping an arm over the back of the chair, GLaDOS leaned in and nuzzled her nose up under the test subject's ear before leaving a few soft kisses there.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Mm." Was all Chell managed to reply, her eyes firmly fixated in awe at the rather flexible woman made of metal up on the stage in front of them.

She was hardly as advanced as GLaDOS, but she couldn't drag herself away from watching her. The more the android leaned into her, the more she sank down into the chair, clutching her root beer tightly to her chest and barely managing to keep a grip on the stick that was inserted in her mouth. Eventually she ended up with her head so far down it was almost on GLaDOS's chest, where it was rather nice and warm. A perfect spot for her heated cheeks and ringing ears. But it was also rather uncomfortable on her back by sliding down like that, and she was helped back into a seated position.

"You know, there was a time when you used to look at me like that..." GLaDOS murmured.

That particular comment finally got the test subject to meet her eyes with a glazed over expression. Chell didn't say anything, but just stared at her, the end of the dick-on-a-stick hanging from her lips. She knew she probably looked like a drugged up idiot, and she felt like it as well. But she just couldn't seem to make her mouth work. Sadly, GLaDOS was right. She hadn't been particularly reciprocal in the affection department lately.

"Maybe I should get up there and show them that Aperture is still on top. We both know I can do better than _that_."

Chell's eyes widened at that particular suggestion. Dare she even think it? A delicious little shiver ran down her spine, and she darted her gaze about wildly. Nobody seemed to be paying either of them any attention, as most were quite engrossed with the stage show or were quite busy with their own robots.

"Guh."

"That's not even a word, Lumpy. But I forgive you. Apparently your mind can't cope with more than one physical activity at a time. Try removing that thing from your mouth and then start talking. Start with small words. Like fat. Can you sat fat? What about adopted? That's three syllables, but it might be short enough for you to comprehend."

But the confection had to be manually removed by the android, who then replaced it with the neck of the bottle so that the test subject could try drinking instead. With most of the thick, sugary saliva having been washed away, GLaDOS leaned in once more and kissed her, not minding the pink stain upon Chell's lips from the lollipop. She soon felt the woman gasp into her mouth before the contact was broken.

"What are you doing? We're in public." Chell hissed at the hand that had slipped down the front of her trousers.

"Look around. It's dark, and we're hardly the only ones." The AI pointed out. Sure enough, a closer examination revealed it wasn't just the people with booths that had various robots and robotic toys at their disposal for adult-oriented activities. Here and there, the more adventurous among them were quite happily giving demonstrations of their artificial companion's abilities, or were simply just participating in said activities while watching the show.

"Oh."

"Is that an _oh_ _yes_?" the white-haired female teased.

"Uh..."

Chell could hardly speak as she just tipped to the side and leaned up against GLaDOS, who more than happily indulged her in her acquiescence.


	41. Chapter 41

**Author's Note:** I have ideas. There are too many of them. I'm contemplating writing several stories at once, but that would mean cutting down on how fast The Garter is updated. So here's my question to you all. Do you want more multi-chapter stories, or do you want me to finish The Garter before I start working on some others? I'll still post one-shots here and there while I'm doing so though.

* * *

><p>Still hanging onto her root beer and the obscene lollipop when her arms slipped around the android's neck, Chell quite happily returned the probing kiss that her mechanical lover had offered her. It was terribly easy to forget herself and what they were up to, but as those damnable fingers dared to brush up against some rather sensitive parts of her, the test subject gave a jolt and dragged GLaDOS's hand away.<p>

"Not here. I can't-...I'm sorry." She gasped against her mouth, narrowly missing spilling her drink down the supercomputer's back.

"Then let's go somewhere else."

But as it turned out, the line of human women at the bathrooms weren't particularly impressed with the fact that they took up a stall for themselves to get a little hot and heavy in. Chell being the heavy one, obviously, with GLaDOS's reasoning. So the test subject was forced to untangle her bra and shirt to pull them back down over her breasts in a pitiful attempt to look at least halfway decent despite the bite marks on left on her neck. GLaDOS, of course, had absolutely no trouble walking out of the stall with a cocky saunter. She certainly couldn't blush, and as far as these humans knew, she wasn't a sentient creature. So Chell was the one to duck out of there shamefully to the hoots and hollers of some of the women waiting, a bright red blush upon her face.

Having abandoned the bottle of root beer in the toilet bowl and the sticky lollipop on the tiled floor of the public bathrooms, Chell was free to use both hands to clutch at the supercomputer's arm as she led them out of there. But she soon found that having a VIP pass gave them a couple of extra perks besides being allowed into that adults only section. It meant that Chell received a bag of free goodies to accompany her when they left. Though it wasn't until she got in the truck that she dared to examine them.

Apparently sugar-coated gummy vaginas were all the rage.

Chell licked at it and stretched the pink-tinted confection with her teeth, much to GLaDOS's horror. Those things reminded her far too much of her own silicone flesh. Thankfully the ravenous beast sitting next to her had never thought to do that with her. The AI kept her hands on the wheel, giving only brief glances out the corner of her eye as Chell examined all the goodies. And maybe had a few too many sips of the free beer that had been offered at the door on the way out.

After sorting through the stickers, she soon came across a perfectly packaged vibrator that looked rather robotic in nature. It even had some little flashing lights running down the side. Chell quickly shoved it back in the bag and clutched it desperately to her chest with a heaving breath, her cheeks darker than ever before.

"You know I can make a better one than that, right?" GLaDOS teased, but was met with an embarrassed silence from the woman who sank down further in her seat. Chell wouldn't even talk to her as they left the city and started driving along the back roads towards the sleepy little town that she now called her home.

Or at least, she wasn't talking until night had fallen and she'd regained some of her confidence.

"Pull over."

"What? We're not there ye-"

"Pull over."

"We're in the middle of nowhere."

"You are going to fuck me. Right here, right now. PULL THE GOD-DAMN TRUCK OVER!"

GLaDOS barely even had time to comply with the test subject's instructions, the old truck coming to a grinding halt on the gravel at the side of the road before Chell was all hands. Managing to knock the stick into park as she was unceremoniously pulled on top of her across the worn vinyl seat, GLaDOS found she didn't even have to do much at all to get the girl half naked again, as she was already tugging at her own clothes. Even the little mew of delight that she gave as those silicone lips firmly reattached themselves to her nipple caused a little burst of test euphoria to run through the android.

Even her processors seemed to be running a little faster than usual, which was a considerable feat given how fast they usually ran.

GLaDOS – dare she admit it – felt excited.

And it wasn't even the excitement of science. It was the kind of excitement that made one want to keep doing what they were doing and to hell with the consequences. Had she actually been an organic being, she might have even supposed she was experiencing an adrenaline rush. With her head buried in Chell's neck and her hands occupied with the test subject's overabundance of mammaries, she was hardly in a position to recognize any danger heading their way. And neither was Chell, as her eyes were firmly closed and her head tipped back to better enjoy what the night had brought her.

Plus, with the steam of her breath having fogged up all the windows, she would have barely even noticed the red and blue lights flashing behind the parked truck anyway.

At least, not until a metallic tap at the window from the end of a torch alerted them both to the officer's presence. 

* * *

><p>"I can NOT believe you two! What the hell were you thinkin?" Mrs Keegan raved as the rusty old truck bounced over another pot hole.<p>

Chell sank down further in the middle seat.

"I can't believe I had to bail you out of jail at this hour of the night for a DUI and for having sex on a public highway."

"I wasn't even driving. GLaDOS was." Her little voice tried to point out, but it was summarily ignored.

"I get a call in the middle of the night to come and bail you out of jail, and THEN I had to get a taxi to get into the city to pick you two up. Do you know how much that cost me? I coulda bought a whole new truck for that amount! You're just lucky your little friend here managed to put some fake ID for you on the system, because I sure as hell know you don't have any."

GLaDOS snorted in amusement, but at least Chell had the good grace to look ashamed of her actions.

"And don't you start, you bucket-o-bolts! It cost me more to get you out of the impound lot than it did to get my truck outta there!" the old woman slapped her hands upon the steering wheel. "Furthermore, you told me you were takin' her to an amusement park. Not some perverted robot sex convention! Do you know what those coppers gave me when they handed your things back?"

Chell turned her eyes down to the worn out floor of the truck.

"A bag of stickers, handcuffs, sex toys, dicks and chewy lady-bits! What on God's green earth is that all about?" Mrs Keegan shoved the tote bag back into Chell's arms.

"In my defence, I'd like to point out it was incredibly hilarious to see that police official making her dance around like the lunatic that she is to determine whether she was under the influence of alcohol and other substances. Who would have thought that walking in a straight line was so hard? I could have saved him the trouble and informed him that she has a problem with authority." GLaDOS gleefully retold the story.

"It was not!" Chell argued. "I wasn't even driving, and he charged me for being drunk! I only had one beer. And you could have helped me out, you know. You could have told him you were driving."

"But didn't you hear him when he corrected your outrageous accusations? He told you that I was a robot, and that robots are unable to drive due to our systems not being advanced enough to undertake such difficult activities. How can you argue with logic like that? He's a policeman. Why would he lie to you?" the white-haired female's face twisted up into a grin. "Besides, you're drunk. Your testimony can't be trusted."

"You could have at least made up a fake licence that allowed for some beer-drinking." Chell grunted, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the road ahead of them.

"Why would I do that? You haven't even passed a basic driving test yet. You have to start somewhere. I did you a big favour by hacking into their system and creating you an identity, Fatima Adoopted." GLaDOS cackled merrily at the terrible name that she had come up with for her.

"Oh yeah, laugh it up. Ha _ha_. Real funny." The test subject muttered under her breath.

"No, what's funny is your mug shot. It actually looks worse than the one you had taken for your test subject verification record. Well done. I didn't think you could accomplish a task of that magnitude. If I could cry, I would be crying right now. With laughter. You must be so ashamed of yourself, tubby."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole."

Mrs Keegan just sighed and shook her head at their banter.

Kids.

Who'd have them?

* * *

><p>Abandoning the truck in the driveway and heading inside with a half eaten Penis-Pop in her hand – because those things were actually pretty tasty – Mrs Keegan wandered back off to bed. There was no point in getting too angry at them, as it was the first time Chell had really gotten into trouble and they'd just been having a bit of fun like any young couple was wont to do. Plus, they had lapsed back into an amicable silence for the rest of the trip with Chell sleepily curled up under the android's arm, who absentmindedly stroked her hair while she rested there.<p>

The girl really did seem to care for that horrid monster of a computer, and for all her words proved otherwise, GLaDOS appeared to care for her as well in her own little way. Her old eyes might be failing her in some regards, but she'd still seen that sneaky little kisses that the AI had left upon Chell's forehead and cheeks when she thought that her attention was on the road in front of them. She'd even heard the soft little sigh from Chell that could have only resulted from that happy contentedness gained by a lover's touch.

Perhaps she'd been wrong in trying to push Billy onto her. She knew the boy liked her something fierce, but who wouldn't with those doe-like eyes and shy little grin? She'd never seen Chell act more differently when she was with the android, and it brought out a fire in her that she'd never even known was there. The two of them seemed to feed off each other, and the determined glint that sparkled in the dark-haired girl's eyes when the android presented her with a challenge made her seem alive. They definitely needed each other to survive, that was for sure. She hadn't quite realized just how much that was. Billy seemed to have no hope with her.

It was disappointing, to say the least. She'd been hoping that Chell would end up with him, with a few cute kids under their belt. If she needed something a little more...exotic...then she could have gone to the android behind the scenes so as not to spark rumours or ruin what could have been a good marriage. But fantasy was vastly different from reality, and only an idiot could deny what was seen when they looked at the two with an unbiased eye.

Mrs Keegan heard the two of them sneak up the stairs together, their footfalls muffled by the click of the bedroom door as it closed.


	42. Chapter 42

**Author's Note:** Today I found out that the only socially acceptable reason to come home smelling like lube and latex is because we were learning how to insert catheters in class. Also, I made the discovery that despite being gay, I have touched more penises than lady junk because of this course. This makes me very sad. On the other hand, I've been playing with so many rubber parts I feel like I have a good understanding of some of the fan fiction that is written on here.

Maybe I should take a computer course as well and get into biomedical engineering. Then use it as a front to make my own GLaDOS.

* * *

><p>"Mmm. Mmm. I believe you promised me a strip tease?" Chell murmured between kisses; her fingers already working their way under GLaDOS's shirt.<p>

"I did no such thing. Besides, there are no poles in here to slide around on to recharge my batteries."

"You won't be doing much recharging once I get my hands on you." The test subject wickedly grinned.

"I should hold you to that promise, but I know better than to expect things like that from you, you monster." GLaDOS muttered, shedding the heavy coat on the floor. Her lips never parted from the other pair once she had kissed her again, leaving Chell's own arms to do the work of furiously unbuttoning the black blouse and her belt as fast as she could manage.

After stumbling out of their shoes and towards the bed, the android made sure that the test subject was sufficiently devoid of her shirt before throwing her down and leaping eagerly on top of her.

_Yes, yes, yes. Finally!_

"Wait a minute." Chell grunted.

_No, no, no! Not now!_

Wiggling out from under her just enough to grab the tote bag, Chell stuck her hand and rummaged around until she had a firm hold on the plastic packaging which she thrust into the chest of the distraught-looking supercomputer.

"You said you could make a better one than that too..."

GLaDOS looked down at the item in question. "That would take a while. I don't have the parts to-"

"Can you modify that one?"

"Yes. I just need some solder and a couple of other little pieces from the garage and it would be functional as an attachment, if that's what you're getting at. I can't guarantee that it will work. It's quite different to my own connections." She impatiently answered.

Chell bit her lower lip in her best impression of a mischievous and sultry smirk.

"Go on then. Do it." She urged.

"_Now_?"

"Yes, now."

"Ugh. Fine." Tearing at the packaging, the AI pulled out the robotic vibrator and held it up. "Oh. This is a little different than what I expected. It's more advanced than I thought. How interesting."

While it looked like some kind of painted metal on the outside, it was actually made of a gelatinous, latex-like material like any normal sex toy. But upon squeezing it, she could feel that it had the robotic parts inside of it. Although it looked floppy and fairly useless, the moment it was turned on at the base an electrical current ran through it making it much more rigid and hard.

Chell's eyebrows went up a tad at that.

"Now that's more like it. Hurry up! Stop playing with that and go put it on." she demanded, giving the android a shove in the chest until she went careening though the house with a dick in her hand and her shirt unbuttoned. Thankfully Mrs Keegan was already in bed, so they wouldn't offend her delicate sensibilities with that particular sight.

So with shaking hands, GLaDOS worked under the desk lamp in the garage, pulling it to pieces and making new connections out of some of the junk that was around as fast as she was able to manage. Once she was certain it was working, she tucked it inside her trousers and took the stairs two at a time to get to Chell. There wasn't any time for pleasantries as she threw herself back on top of the girl who had been flipping through an old magazine waiting for her to return. Immediately delving back into a probing kiss after the whirlwind of her entry had died down, she was quite pleased to discover what kind of noises the test subject made as her new appendage rubbed against her through the material of their clothing.

It didn't take long at all for Chell to completely strip off with a little help, or reach down to undo GLaDOS's belt again. She didn't bother to undress her copulation associate though. What she wanted was perfectly accessible without that tricky business.

"Careful! Don't grab it like that! It's delicate." GLaDOS hissed as Chell made sure that it was properly inserted.

"Shut up. Turn it on...turn _me_ on." She whispered, making sure to give the android a little tug on the earlobe with her teeth. A tingling burst of pride and self-accomplishment ran hot through her veins as she felt the little tremble run through the AI, though she tried to hide it.

GLaDOS made a strange face.

"Is it on?"

"No."

She looked down.

"Hold on. Wait a minute. It was working before."

But no matter how many times or how many different ways she asked the test subject to be patient, nothing was happening; no matter how hard she concentrated.

"Can you turn it on at the base?" Chell suggested.

"No, I had to get rid of that part to install the connections. You've probably ruined it with your kung fu grip." GLaDOS grimaced, pulling out and looking down at the offending – and rather limp – appendage. But apparently it wasn't powered by frowns and disappointment either. If it was, they'd be done by now.

"This is ridiculous." She huffed.

"More like ri-_dick_-u-_less_." Chell poked it, but all it did was give a pathetic, gelatinous wobble.

"That was a terrible attempt at a pun."

"Yeah, well, you aren't much better at making that thing work. You've got no room to talk. Maybe we should just leave it for now."

"NO! I mean-...no. We won't worry about making that work. The rest of me works just fine. Look!" The AI hurriedly added, before going in for another kiss. Although the test subject returned it, it was hardly with the passion that had been there before.

"Mm." Chell murmured against her lips again, before pulling away with an apologetic look upon her face. "Sorry, but...that was a bad idea making you go off and do that. Kinda ruined the mood."

"_What_? You have _got_ to be kidding me. You don't stay in the mood once you find it again?" GLaDOS sat up on her knees and gaped at her incredulously.

"Well, no. It sort of took too long for you to go and fix it all up, so I...y'know. _Took_ _care_ _of_ _business_. By myself." She gave another apologetic shrug.

"What about _me_?" the android almost squeaked.

"You could do the same? I don't mind."

"No, I _can't_. I can't and I won't, because you're supposed to do it for me." GLaDOS knew she probably sounded like a petulant child, but she could hardly be blamed for it, even if Caroline did agree with the comparison. What kind of person just went and did that kind of thing? Oh, right. She was dealing with a monster, wasn't she?

"I can get you back in the mood. I'll do it right now." She planted an arm either side of the test subject and went in for another kiss, but was quickly rebuffed by a pair of hands planted on her chest that gently pushed her back.

"I appreciate the offer, but I don't think it's going to work. Maybe later." Chell tried to soothe. "It's just been a little hard for me, lately. It's not you."

GLaDOS sat back up on her knees and stared at the reclining female. "You didn't seem to have any problems with yourself when I _wasn't_ here. Why can't you do it me as well?"

_:::You know that you're begging, right? Just pointing that out.:::_ Caroline unhelpfully added.

_:::I know that! Be quiet, and go file paperwork or whatever it is that you do around here.:::_

_:::I live in your __**brain**__. There is nothing __**to**__ file.::: _

_:::Then go and do whatever it is you do when you're not getting involved in my sex life.::: _GLaDOS snarled.

_:::I didn't think you had one, lately.:::_ The secretary sniped back, before leaving her be. Fine, if she didn't want any help, then she could do it all by herself.

_:::I hope you realize I can hear your thoughts. They are mine too. What help are you talking about?:::_ The supercomputer desperately inquired.

_:::Go for the 'you look pretty' line again. A girl always likes to hear that.:::_

"You look less unattractive than usual." GLaDOS deadpanned.

_:::Not like that! Oh my god. You're an idiot. An __**actual**__ idiot.:::_ Caroline moaned.

"Excuse me?" Chell glared.

_:::Timing is key. You were supposed to whisper it in her ear.:::_

"I'm working on the hypothesis that meaningless platitudes will ingratiate you towards me in such a way that you will suddenly resume your sexual attraction towards me at the last viable point. I have just discovered through application of this hypothesis in testing that humans do not, in fact, have a save function for their emotional processes. You might want to invest in one."

Chell's angered glare soon gave way to a sharp snort of laughter.

_:::Well, that's one way to do it, I suppose. Not the approach I would have taken, but then again, I'm not the computer that's attracted to human women.:::_

_:::What else? Hurry up.:::_ GLaDOS urged at seeing the test subject looking like she was about to get comfortable for the night.

_:::Lay down behind her like you're going to go to sleep as well. And don't forget to wrap your arm around her too.:::_ Caroline added, eager to inject a little more affection into their love life.

Although the AI knew what her brain-buddy was up to, she followed her instructions to the letter. After all, what else did she have to lose? So despite not seeing how these actions would get her any closer to scratching that damnable testing itch that was bubbling up inside her ever since the test subject had found it appropriate to stimulate it, GLaDOS snuggled up behind Chell and buried her face in the back of her neck.

_:::Kiss her. Gently! Just little ones. Just wait a bit and then do it. You don't want to seem too eager.:::_

_:::I'd just as soon want to __**not**__ be using your methods of getting Mr Johnson to-:::_

_:::He didn't need me to do anything. He was always up for it. In fact, he was quite the stud This one time, he-:::_

_:::Lalalalalalala. Not listening!::: _GLaDOS cut in.

There was an impatient pause before she pressed a couple of light kisses to the back of Chell's neck, her hand gently rubbing across the girl's distinctly _not_ flabby stomach.

_:::You might want to listen when I tell you that you'll probably have to be nice. __**Actual**__ nice. Not __**your**__ kind of nice. Just...ask her. With niceness. Shucks, just beg if you have to. And make sure you say please. That's important.:::_

Deciding that the fewest words possible would be the best way of getting all that information across without making her look even more like of an incredibly sappy idiot begging for a little something-something, GLaDOS summoned up the courage necessary to eject _niceness_ from her speakers.

"_Please_?"

Chell rolled over a little and looked at her, seemingly a little mystified by the AI's actions. It wasn't exactly every day that she addressed her with any sort of manners. The look on GLaDOS's face when she reached out to stroke the back of her hand along the android's cheek caused a pleasant tickle of warmth to smoulder in her chest. But despite the fact that she offered her a lengthy kiss, she still felt it was necessary to remove the artificial hands from her form when they came dangerously close to straying too far.

"Ask me tomorrow?"

GLaDOS's expression quickly shut down into an icy glare, her pale eyebrows lowering to darken her gaze while her jaw firmly set itself in place. Turning away from the test subject and dropping down to lie on her stomach, the rejected AI buried her cheek into the pillow and fixed her gaze upon the wall. Her hands remained tightly clenched into fists at her side; her teeth grinding together.

_:::You said it would work...:::_

_:::I didn't say that. I just said that-:::_

_:::YOU SAID IT WOULD WORK!:::_

GLaDOS angrily yelled into her own mind, not caring if her statement had been correct or not. She bit down into the artificial flesh of her cheek, the muscles of her shoulders flexing to shun the test subject's hand away from her. It was incredibly childish, she knew, but it hurt. It really did. It made her circuits burn in envy. Humans had it far too easy. They could satisfy their urges so easily. They weren't programmed like she was. They had access to their own euphoria protocols.

Not like her.

She was sure that they felt they were so much better than her. Making her dependent on them to get her stupid little fix. And she hated it. It wasn't like she could just delete it and go back to science. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't! GLaDOS bit down into her cheek even harder. If Chell hadn't been there, she probably would have made some kind of unbecoming noise as she tried to discreetly wiggle down further into the mattress to get a little bit of relief from that itch. It wasn't enough, and she ended up ripping the useless appendage from between her legs and tossing it towards the window in a fit of anger. It sailed out into the open air, somehow managing to not break the glass on its way out.

Thankfully it was still late at night.

Neither of them would have known quite how to explain why any passersby were getting assaulted with flying dildos.

"Can you close that? It's kind of cold." Chell muttered into her own pillow.

GLaDOS sighed dramatically, but got up anyway to do as she was asked. It seemed like that was all she was good for anyway. With the window latched shut, she returned to bed, only to have the test subject curl up around her like she was some kind of overgrown teddy bear.

What other kinds of horrible indignities would she have to put up with, just to retain the test subject's attention and - more importantly - fingers?

GLaDOS's head drooped back to the side to stare sadly at the wall.

Seriously. _Impotence_?

She wasn't even male!


	43. Chapter 43

When GLaDOS woke, she felt like she was on fire. All the tiny little sensory endings under her skin prickled, sending bursts of electricity sparking through her systems and feeding her desire for the test euphoria. The little starbursts of whiteness continued to flash behind her lids, blinding her even though they remained closed. When the delicious tingle ran up her spine again, the android arched up towards it with some unbecoming noise of approval. She barely even registered the way Chell's hand spread out against her stomach and ran up her chest to rest between her breasts; rubbing that soft little spot to relax her had little effect when her tongue was already busy elsewhere. GLaDOS drew her legs up just enough to loop them over the test subject's shoulders, trapping the girl right where she wanted her.

She didn't appear to have any complaints about it, though she could feel her lips curl up into a smirk against her flesh when she reached down to tangle a hand in her hair. As far as the supercomputer was concerned, this was definitely the only acceptable way to be dragged out of sleep mode prematurely and not of her own volition. It was also a very acceptable way to make up for the slight of not waiting for her last night.

GLaDOS curled her toes in the sheets and pressed Chell's face harder against her most sensitive area as if it would help.

She was so close.

Naturally, it meant that Mrs Keegan came knocking at the door, prompting a rush of icy dread to chill her processors. Then again, that might have just been coolant. Either way, it wasn't pleasant, and she lifted her head from the pillow to glare an angrily desperate glare at the door. _Now_? She had to interrupt them _now_?

"Breakfast's ready!"

Was that all? Chell could ignore that in favour of more pleasant activities. GLaDOS laid back down in expectation that they'd resume from the last point of contact. But instead, she found the test subject struggling to get up.

"What are you doing? That can wait."

"I was thinking breakfast in bed. I like honey on my toast." Chell grinned, leaping off the bed while wiping some of her own saliva off her chin. "Wait there. I'll be back in a minute. And that's not an actual minute, so don't complain if it takes me a few seconds extra to get up here. Just a vague indication of a passage of time." She teased, knowing the supercomputer's like of all things accurate.

"I don't care about honey. You were doing just fine without it. Come back!" But it was too late. Chell's feet were already thudding down the stairs.

It left GLaDOS to drop her head back on the pillow with a lengthy groan of disapproval. What the hell was the lunatic playing at anyway? The burning electricity had barely subsided, begging for the test to be solved. She'd all but placed the cube on the button to open the chamber lock, and now she was abandoning the test altogether. She could do little more than wait for her to return.

And wait.

And wait some more.

When several minutes had passed, GLaDOS knew that she'd have to get up and go looking for the imbecile. There was no way that it took that long to get up the stairs with a plate of food and maybe a drink, unless she'd choked on a crumpet and died on the way. She wouldn't put it past her to do such a thing. But as there were no horrible sounds of dying coming from below, she'd just have to go and investigate.

It took a moment or two to straighten out her trousers from where they were tangled around her knees, and buttoning up her shirt was proving to be more difficult than first anticipated. She ended up missing a button which led to a crooked line up, but she didn't care about the rather rumpled, drunken look she managed to obtain in the end. It had been too hard to get them done up the first time, so she wasn't about to undo them all again. Also, walking. That was hard too. When finally she managed to get herself looking relatively decent, the AI staggered down the stairs in search of the missing test subject.

Unsurprisingly, she found her stuffing her face full of food. But what caused the bright smile to beam across her face was the same thing that brought a scowl to the android's as she silently stood there. The Greysons were over again and sitting at the table. Apparently farm boy had found it within himself to come and have a chat and apologise for his actions of late. From the awkward look on his face he was obviously still having a hard time accepting it all, but with his parents and Mrs Keegan there he didn't look like he was about to just go off his rocker again. And Chell looked happy.

GLaDOS spent a few minutes staring at the happy little family scene before the test subject actually caught sight of her standing near the doorway. That smile immediately dropped away into a guilty expression as she realized just who she'd forgotten about. She soon found the woman hurrying after her once she'd attempted to leave the building though, and Chell pressed her against the wall when they were out on the porch.

"Hey. I'm sorry. I just got distracted. I wasn't expecting them to be down here. And Billy's here too. He said he was sorry. That's good, isn't it?"

GLaDOS just flashed her a nasty glare before trying to escape again.

"Hold up. If you're going to go running off again, then at least let me do these back up properly. You're all crooked. Hardly your style." Chell soothed, keeping the android trapped against the wall as she took her time in unbuttoning her shirt again. She couldn't resist leaving another couple of kisses against the exposed silicone flesh before the black fabric was fastened correctly and the wrinkles straightened out by rubbing her hands across it.

"My _style_ generally doesn't involve test subjects abandoning me in the middle of testing either." GLaDOS hissed through clenched teeth. "This is all your fault."

"Are you really getting mad about buttons again?"

"I'm not getting mad about buttons!" she struggled to keep her voice at a volume low enough for only Chell to hear. "This is about _you_! You're always doing this to me! You just stand there with a stupid look on your face, not completing tests. I bet you think this is really funny. _Ha_ _ha_! Well it's not! Killing me was a _lot_ kinder. You _monster_."

"What are you talking about?" Chell gently rested her hands against GLaDOS's shoulders, hoping to calm her and settle down whatever rage was bubbling up inside her.

"_Testing_! You're not doing it right! You're just doing whatever you want to do and you're not following correct testing procedure! You can't just start tests and not finish them!"

"But...I haven't tested in ages. Do you want me to get the long fall boots after breakfast and we'll go back to-"

"NO!" GLaDOS raised her hands, burying them in her hair as she sank down against the wall in a crouch.

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down and tell me what's wrong." The test subject soothed, wrapping her arms around the distressed supercomputer.

"I've already told you. Did you just develop a case of spontaneous deafness? The only reason I can feel anything when you molest me with your stubby little fingers is because my test euphoria has been wired to comply with a human form. It doesn't just go away, you know. It stays there. Torturing me. Because you're a monster."

"Which is why I said you should have just fixed it yourself."

"Did you also forget the part where I said I _can't_? I can't complete my own tests. You saw what happened when that moron tried to tell you what to do when he was in my body. They built it that way to make me behave."

"So instead of a testing addiction, you're got a sex addiction?" Chell snorted.

"It's still testing! It never changed. Stop laughing at me. It's not funny." GLaDOS miserably moaned. "This is all your fault. I never should have rewired my body just so you could indulge your greedy little needs."

Grabbing the android and dragging her back to her feet, the dark haired woman placated her with a few fluttering little kisses and whispers in her ear about how much she enjoyed the changes. How she appreciated them. And how she liked to test them.

It was all so very easy to believe her with words like that.

GLaDOS ashamedly leaned further into her embrace. She couldn't help herself.

However, the deployment of an unplanned make-out session was interrupted with the call from inside to come back to breakfast before it got cold.

"Mm." Chell murmured as she let go of the silicone lip between her teeth before giving it another little peck. "Tell you what. How about...You go back to Aperture, and I'll finish my breakfast, get rid of these guys and get my boots. Make as many tests as you want, and I'll do them _all_. Make them _really_ hard." She breathed into the android's ear. "You don't even have to stop and let me rest at _all_ if you don't want to. We could test _all_ _day_. Hm? How does that sound?"

There was little to no chance of denying that sultry little voice whispering in her ear, promising her those wonderful, wonderful things. The way that the human's hands crept up her shirt and scratched at her skin clearly wasn't helping her to make any kind of rational decision. So she just stood there with parted lips, half supported by the wall as she leaned into the woman; her head practically on her shoulder.

"See, a little birdie told me that you like test, and-"

"Well at least Mr Chubby Beak hasn't been telling fibs again. But I might have to reprimand him for divulging personal information." GLaDOS mumbled, her hands tangling loosely in the test subject's clothing to draw her hips closer towards her.

"A little birdie told me that you like to test," Chell repeated in a whisper. "And that you like having all those buttons of yours pushed. I bet you'd like that, huh? Do you want me to press all of your buttons? I could do it really _fast_ for you. Or I might make you wait. I could go really _slow_. Make you _beg_. You'd just have to stay there and watch me do it." she hooked a finger in the neckline of GLaDOS's shirt while she bit her lower lip. She knew she had all of the AI's attention from the stupefied look on her face. Chell hadn't been sure that her optics could look glazed over, but somehow she'd managed to make them unfocused at the very least.

"I could do all _sorts_ of science for you." Chell whispered, making sure that her knee was perfectly placed to lift up and grind against her.

"Yeah..."

"I'll pick up the portal gun..."

"Yeah..." GLaDOS agreed in much the same enthusiastic way that she had done during a certain rant about lemons.

"I'll put plenty of portals on-"

"Less is more. The less you use to solve a test the better your score is." She inadvertently divulged.

"Oh?" the test subject queried, her curiosity piqued. "What else do I have to do to make sure that my testing is _really_ good for you?"

But the supercomputer was hardly in the position to think of much more beyond the delicious, all-consuming feeling of Chell rubbing up against her.

"Chell!" came the call from inside, beckoning the girl back to breakfast.

"Sorry. I'd better get back there before they come looking for us. Go to Aperture and make some tests. I promise this time that I'll be there. And then we can have some fun. For science." She soothed, tugging the android away from the wall by the front of her shirt to give her a messy kiss before she pushed her off the porch to get her started.

GLaDOS stumbled back a few steps, thankful for the internal gyroscopes that kept her relatively stable. She stared after the girl as she returned to the house before staggering off in the other direction, heavily weighed down by the effects of the euphoria. With the way her shirt was rumpled, she might as well have been a drunk stumbling along the road towards that golden wheat field that had died in the winter frost.

At that point in time, neither one of them would have expected that Chell would keep her promise and come wandering along with her boots in her hand, only to find GLaDOS lying in the grass with a man on top of her and her legs around his waist.

Nor did either of them expect that she'd moan the way she did.


	44. Chapter 44

**Author's Note:** Thanks to **WolfenGabriel **for the opening line to this chapter. Also, I see some of you are concerned about what's happening. Good. Mwahaha. I'm busy being evil. Don't worry. It'll be fixed in the end, because it's going somewhere. I just like creating drama and confusion. But for now, have some more "WTF CHELL! GET OUT OF THERE, CHELL! BAD CHELL! BAD!"

Unfortunately, Chell hasn't quite come out in this chapter like I intended her to be. To me she doesn't seem as self righteous, selfish and angry as I wanted, but I'm going to post it anyway. GLaDOS is so much easier to write.

* * *

><p>Bricks were shat.<p>

Really big bricks made of radioactive bicycles and other nasty things that would do all kinds of damage to one's colon during a surprise evacuation. Thankfully it was only figurative radioactive bicycle bricks and not literal ones, as Chell would have had a very hard time waddling away in horror at what she was seeing. The long fall boots slipped from her hands and fell between the stalks of wheat as her grip was no longer strong enough to hold them. It seemed for a long while that there wasn't enough air in the entire world to fill her lungs. She could see little black spots dancing about like faeries in the corners of her vision before they were dissipated when she remembered to breathe again.

How...?

What...?

_Why_...?

She'd said she was coming back to test with her. She'd promised her all sorts of euphoria. As much as she wanted. But instead, here she was getting busy with some guy that she didn't even know! Hell, not even Chell knew who it was. It was hard to tell with that wide-brimmed hat on his head and the fact he wasn't facing her. So she ran. Just spun on her heel and took off as fast as her legs could take her. She wasn't going to stick around to wait for GLaDOS to notice her. Or to listen to apologies or do any of those things. With the cold wind rushing past her face, it only served to prickle her eyes like needles even more than they already were; causing tears to well up and distort her vision. And the chilly air also stabbed at her lungs from the inside, not allowing her any rest.

Before she knew it she was back at the town. And she was mad. Not just a little bit mad either. She was the kind of mad that makes a person want to kick a gorilla in the ass and then punch it in the mouth when it turned around to bite your face off. Then she was sad. And then she was angry again. It was all quite confusing, and made her crouch in the middle of the road, clutching at her hair before something in her decided that it was easier to just combine the two emotions and feel_bad_. The kind of bad that sent her bolting towards Billy's house and beat down his door so that she could blather on endlessly about what she'd just seen.

He could barely make heads or tails of what she was on about, though he knew it had to do with the android. So he just stood there staring while she tore a whirlwind around in his room. It made him quite glad that he had nothing terribly expensive in there, because her flailing arms were liable to send something flying off a shelf. Eventually she came a little too close to the guitar leaning up against the wall, so he decided that it was better to just pull her into a hug and let her cry or whatever women did when they were pissed off and bawling their eyes out. He hadn't quite forgiven her for cheating on him, but then again, he'd never seen her quite like this.

"She was-...and then-...she..." Chell choked out.

"Uh. There there? It'll be alright." He awkwardly patted her on the back. "I'm sure that...things...will...be _fixed_?" Billy tried, not exactly certain as to what it was he was supposed to be comforting her about.

"I'm going to kill her!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's a little harsh. Just...calm down for a second. Look, sit down and tell me what's wrong. Slowly." He tried to soothe, pushing her gently towards the bed until the backs of her knees hit it and she had no choice but to sit.

"She was out in the field. And I was going to go and do some testing with her. But-..." Chell took another shuddering breath and wiped at her eyes as she tried to calm down. "She was cheating on me."

"What, Gladys?"

"GLaDOS. _DOS_. GLa_DOS_." Chell repeated the pronunciation.

"GLaDOS then. Whatever. Isn't she yours or something? Why don't you just go get her back?"

"She's not mine. I don't own her." She muttered into her hands.

"I don't get it. Isn't she just some weird-ass sex toy or something that you brought with you?"

"What? No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well-...I-..." she had to stop and think for a while on that.

"She's just a robot. Why are you getting so worked up about her? I-...I don't even know what you see in her. She kinda comes across as a bitch. She doesn't exactly treat you well. Unless you're into that kind of thing. You're probably better off without her anyway. I mean, what has she ever done for you?"

Chell just stared at the male who was crouched in front of her. _Was_ she better off without her? GLaDOS did have a propensity to speak exactly what was on her mind, and didn't exactly use a very good filter for her words. But lumped in with that was the fact that nobody had ever told her otherwise. And what had she done for her? The test subject thought back, and started counting silently on her fingers. Well, fuck. She had kind of done a lot for her. Especially that little date that landed them in trouble with the law. Though that had been Chell's fault, and not GLaDOS's. Actually, come to think of it...she'd probably done more good than bad.

So why would she be cheating on her?

Was it all just some kind of ruse? Maybe she was hurt and that guy was-...no. It couldn't have been that. She wasn't about to forget the noise that GLaDOS had made any time soon. She certainly didn't look distressed. Or like she was fighting him off. But the look on Chell's face was enough for Billy to draw her into another hug.

"Hey, it'll be alright. I honestly don't know what you see in her, but I don't think she deserves you anyway."

"I cheated on you too though. I just let you think all that stuff. I'm no better than she is."

"Well, yeah. But-...ah man. I guess I'm a dork for saying this, but...I still like you. Plus, she isn't exactly _real_, is she? It's kind of in your face because she's real smart and looks like a human and stuff, but she's not." He pointed out with a little shrug.

"No...she's not." The test subject chewed her lower lip, and allowed herself to be drawn down into another hug as Billy climbed onto his bed and laid down. "God, I feel so stupid coming here like this..."

"You aren't stupid. Just...a little different."

"And I haven't spoken much more than two words to you. Then I just come barging in here like this. You probably don't even want to hear it." Chell muttered into his shirt.

"It's cool. I can't say that I don't wish it was on better terms, but I'll take what I can get." He half-heartedly joked. "I still think it's all a bit weird. But I'm sorry I said those things to you. It wasn't the best way to break it to a guy."

"I'm sorry too."

There was a few moments of silence between the pair as they laid there, his hand rubbing her back.

"Soooo...why exactly did you come here instead of going to Mrs Keegan? You seem like you've got a good thing going with her."

"I...I honestly don't know. I guess...I wanted you to tell me that I should hate her for what she did. It's stupid. I should. I really should. But...I don't."

"Are you in love with her?"

Chell fell silent again, her teeth worrying her lower lip and swelling its already puffy exterior. Was she in love with GLaDOS? The computer that tried to kill her? The one who fed her neurotoxin and lies, and tried to throw her in the incinerator and shoot her with turrets? The one that told her that she was fat and adopted? The very same computer who told her she looked nice, took her to a place where they would be free to be themselves, made her presents and songs, became a surrogate human partner for her despite not liking her, and let her go so that she could be with others of her own kind? The one that potentially risked her life and home to come and find her and stay with her even though there was absolutely nothing here for her? The one that couldn't keep her hands off her? That one?

Chell's eyes welled up again, and Billy pulled her closer to press a little kiss to her forehead.

"Hey, it's okay. Why don't you just go and ask her?"

"What, if she's in love with me? Cos it sure as hell doesn't seem like it."

"No, I meant find out why she did it. It just seems kinda weird that she'd do that. She doesn't exactly look like the type to just bend over and take orders."

"Depends on where you're grabbing her."

Billy met Chell's gaze for all of three seconds before the two of them burst out into a cacophony of snickers and snorts. For the test subject, however, it eventually turned back into sniffles.

"I can't ask her that. She'd never tell me."

"Make her tell you. You're the boss, aren't you? What's that movie with the laws of robotics or something? And the robots can't hurt people or something like that? Does that work on her?"

"Hah! Hardly. Her laws of robotics seem to be 'Harm as many people as you can before someone comes and tries to turn you into scrap metal. Then try to convince them they are making a mistake by offering them cake and shoving them in the incinerator.' Also, make as many fat jokes as possible in the shortest period of time."

"That seems oddly specific."

"You don't know the half of it." She muttered again, tightening her hold on him. "Can I stay here a little while? I'm probably in your way, but...I just can't go back there right now."

"Yeah, I guess so...Sure. Why not?"

* * *

><p>It was a stupid mistake. She knew it the moment she woke up. At the time it seemed like the perfect thing to do to get back at her. Now she only regretted it. And it made her feel all squeamish on the inside.<p>

'Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.'

Chell's mind hissed at her as she sat up, wrapping the messy sheets around her naked form. Billy still slept soundly with the blanket over him, oblivious to what was going on in the mind of the female next to him. Everything just felt dirty and wrong in the morning light. Sparing only a brief glance back at him, she snuck off to the bathroom to clean herself up a little and get dressed as fast as she could so that she could get out of there before he awoke. She wasn't about to have him think that there was a chance of something more between them. It was probably way too late for that.

God, how could she have been such an _idiot_?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was just supposed to go and tell him what happened and he'd give her a list of reasons to hate GLaDOS, and she'd believe them and then everything would be fine. Wasn't that how things worked? It always worked like that in movies. And then she'd fall in love with someone who treated her like a queen. Or something along those lines, anyway. Everything was supposed to be good now. And it wasn't. It was dirty and cold and she felt terrible. Revenge didn't taste nearly as sweet as was promised. And now she was stuck with it.

"FUCK!" Chell yelled at herself after tiptoeing out of the house and running back down the street and across the road.

For a while, she stood at the cottage door in the early morning light, pacing back and forth and wondering what the hell she was supposed to do and what she was supposed to say. She'd been at Billy's all of yesterday and through the night. No doubt GLaDOS was wondering where she was, and Mrs Keegan too. But how could she admit to what she'd done in a spur of the moment fit of fury? The android probably fucking deserved it, but somehow the thought didn't make her feel any better. So instead of confronting her, Chell snuck up into Mrs Keegan's room after taking a quick shower. Surely she'd have some kind of tale to tell her about the follies of youth to make her feel better. Old people were supposed to be wise and give good advice, right?

The aged widow blinked open bleary eyes and lifted the sleep mask onto her forehead at the whispered voice near her. Confusedly, she looked up at the suddenly rather young-looking woman who was standing by her bedside looking like she'd just killed someone and was seeking sanctuary.

"What on earth? Sweet cheeks, it's six o'clock in the mornin'. What are you doin' up at this hour? And where have you been? Oh, sweetheart, come here. Tell me what's wrong." She soothed, holding her arms out to her when she saw the look on her face.

Chell immediately crawled onto the bed and buried her face in the old woman's neck, her chin getting tickled by the fuzzy flannelette pyjamas. She barely managed to get the words out beyond the childish whine in her voice.

"I want my mom."


	45. Chapter 45

**Author's Note:** For those of you wanting to know about Rattmann, he's still living in Aperture, unable to escape as per usual because he won't give up his Companion Cube. As for everything else, that should be resolved soon. This story is far longer than I ever intended it to be, and I'd like to get started on some new multi chapter stories.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Sweetcheeks. I don't know where your momma is, so you'll just have to put up with me." Mrs Keegan soothed, her arms wrapping tightly around the girl and rubbing her back. "What happened? Did that rusty old thing do something again?"<p>

Chell nodded into her neck.

"Can't say I'm not surprised. She's been gettin' around this place lookin' like some kind of junkie. I don't like them tweakers. Somethin' shifty about 'em."

"What are you talking about?"

"GLaDOS. She's hardly been herself lately, has she? Lookin all messed up and starin' at ya like she wants to jump ya in a dark alley."

"Really?" Chell raised her head, looking down at Mrs Keegan in confusion.

"Well yeah. Ya can't say you haven't noticed, Sweetcheeks. It's been kinda obvious."

"But...I didn't."

"Well why's she been actin' like that then?"

"I don't know. Oh...maybe it's because she hasn't been testing lately?"

"So then why are you in here lookin' like you killed someone? Go do some testin'." Mrs Keegan suggested.

"Oh, that. Ah, fuck." Chell buried her face in her hands, wishing she could just disappear. "I slept with Billy."

"WHAT?"

"And now I regret it. I ran away before he woke up. Fuck. I saw GLaDOS out in the field with some guy." She rolled back over and rested her head on the widow's shoulder.

"Oh, you got some bigger troubles than I'm qualified to handle, honey. But at least that explains why your robot never came back yesterday. I thought you two must have been off somewhere together."

"She didn't come back?" Chell bolted upright and furiously scrubbed away the few tears that had glistened on her cheeks. That was hardly like her. GLaDOS would have come back to bitch at her for not showing up for testing, even if she had been cheating on her. Maybe something really was wrong. "I gotta go."

Leaping out of the bed, Chell scrambled out the door while tugging on her battered sneakers as she went. Her heart pounded against her chest, pinching and fluttering as it alternated between guilt and anger and concern for the damned android that was turning her relatively mundane life as upside down as she was. When she came crashing through the frozen wheat stalks and tipped all the snow off them and onto her feet, she almost tripped over her long fall boots that were still sitting on the ground. They were coated in a fine layer of morning frost, just like the prone body that was still lying in the field, swathed in the black pea coat.

Chell's heart leapt into her throat and threatened to choke her. But after dry retching just once, she managed to stumble over and drop her boots nearer to the inactive form on the ground. Sinking to her knees despite the freezing chill of the snow that melted and soaked through her pants and shoes, she reached out a shaking hand and pressed it to GLaDOS's cheek. The silicone sparkled with the frost that had gathered on it over night, which crackled under her fingers; melting easily and falling away. When she saw that, it became much easier to just reach out with both hands and start dusting her off.

"GLaDOS?" Chell's voice came out as a croak amongst a cloud of fog, doing little to lessen the silence of winter.

Upon examining the rest of the android for any injuries, she ended up fastening up the unzipped trousers and belt that the unidentified male had at least had the _kindness_ to pull up. Her hands shook with the effort, and she found herself burying them back in the scratchy material of GLaDOS's pea coat again. Leaning down with her ear to her chest would do no good. The supercomputer didn't have a heart that would beat, but it didn't stop Chell from doing it anyway. It made her feel like she was at least doing something to try and help her before she deciding that violently shaking her was supposed to help.

"Wake up." Chell demanded, as if the android would listen to her. When nothing happened she dragged her into her lap a little as they sat there in the snow, the AI's head cradled in the human's arms as they remained cheek to cheek.

_**[Power supply at 3%. Please recharge immediately or valuable data may be lost.]**_

The distinctly male voice that crackled out from somewhere within the android was barely heard under the muffle of the thick coat and Chell's body, but she'd heard it all the same. Her heart gave a little buck of joy, and Chell wasted no time in readjusting the humanoid construct to pull her over her shoulder. She was heavy and weighed her down in the dusting of snow, but still light enough for her to carry on one shoulder while clutching her long fall boots in the other hand. And Chell went as fast as she could into the facility.

* * *

><p>Upon lying her down on the metal floor, the human alone shivered with the damp chill that had settled in her bones. Down here there was no warmth or carpet to stop the cold metals from leeching the life out of her. But her numb fingers worked to pull a cable down from the roof near the main chassis that dangled limply and bring it over. She then had to straddle the android, bringing her up against her so she could remove her coat. Chell felt a little guilty taking it for her own and putting it on, but GLaDOS had offered it to her several times when they were out in the cold. She didn't feel the chill like humanity did. The coat wasn't as warm as it usually was which made her feel even worse, but she supposed that the snow had kept her machinery at a lower temperature than her fans and coolant ever could. Without that coat, it was then much easier to slip the cable down the back of GLaDOS's shirt and find the gash in her flesh where it could be plugged in.<p>

Almost immediately, Chell felt the change as something within the android came to life, the announcer's voice confirming that the power supply had been reconnected. It didn't wake her up though, and it took the girl a while to work up the courage or stupidity necessary to slap and shake her a couple of times. She was quite surprised when GLaDOS surged upwards without a word, her lips immediately seeking Chell's out.

Even more surprising was the warmth that was in them. It was like someone had poured liquid heat into her circuitry, destroying any and all of the coldness that had once dwelled there. And if Chell was honest, it seemed it was quite easily transferable when she felt the way that it settled between her legs when GLaDOS pressed up against her. Having only worn a thin shirt when she had bolted out of the house, it was already soaked and practically see-through from when she'd had to pick up the frosty AI and carry her. So naturally it felt quite wonderful to have those deliciously warm hands pawing at her chest. And her lips too. Those were absolutely heavenly when they latched around a nipple, whose point could be seen even through the fabric.

Chell shivered, pressing herself closer to the android in delight when she heard the whisper of her name trickle out of the supercomputer's speakers like honey. She tipped her head back and thrust her chest out as she remained kneeling either side of GLaDOS's lap, allowing her as much room as she needed to put her lips and hands anywhere she wanted.

Wait a minute.

No, no, _no_. This wasn't supposed to be happening. GLaDOS had been cheating on her. She didn't get this kind of treatment.

As hard as it was to do, the human grabbed the AI by the shoulders and pushed her back down onto the floor to pin her there. And Chell stared at her. She did look a little dazed, didn't she? Well, as dazed as an artificial construct could look, anyway. Mrs Keegan had been right. How could she not have seen it before? What was wrong with her? Was this why that man had been having his way with her? She ignored the stab of guilt that lanced her in the chest.

"Are you okay?" Chell implored.

"Oh, I'm fine! In fact, I'm _wonderful_. Let's get back to testing, _lunatic_." GLaDOS seductively crooned, her hands starting to slip up the front of the test subject's cold, damp shirt.

"No! Just you wait a god-damned minute." Chell barely managed to protest, dragging those fingers from where they had strayed with no small amount of regret.

"You said I could test as much as I wanted. And I intend to test for a very, _very_ long time."

"You fucking cheated on me!"

"I assure you, cheating is impossible. I am not a test subject. I am an impartial observer."

"I saw you with that guy yesterday!"

"And?"

Chell just blinked, while GLaDOS stared back at her, completely uncaring of what she had supposedly done. The expression on her face must have tipped her off though.

"I hope you didn't think you were the only one. I'm a _supercomputer_. One test subject isn't enough to hold my attention. I test dozens, if not hundreds of people a day, and at the same time. I'll admit, I did have to suspend operations when you were destroying my facility, but you were never the only one being tested otherwise."

"But...you were having sex with him...I saw you!" Chell spluttered.

"Did you miss the part where I said I'm a _computer_? I don't have _sex_. That is a function of organic beings. What we were doing is fulfilling my testing protocols in the way that this body was designed to receive them." GLaDOS pointed out. "I changed it so that the delivery of the testing euphoria was activated in the same way that humans receive theirs from sexual intercourse. You were in need of surrogate for human affection, and I had the ability to give that to you by rewiring this analogue."

"But...but..."

"But nothing. You said I could test. So I did. That man agreed to submit himself for testing. However, it seems that something has gone wrong, and he has left without signing the appropriate forms in triplicate." GLaDOS grumbled. "I can't say that I'm too disappointed. He wasn't very good at it. If my euphoria hadn't been set so high I wouldn't have been knocked offline and I could have escorted him to long term storage. He was rather enthusiastic about it. He insisted we test straight away. Unlike you. You monster. You just promise me all sorts of things and never deliver."

Chell remained sitting there dumbly.

GLaDOS didn't care about her.

She'd slept with Billy for no reason. She'd been the one to cheat on GLaDOS.

Was it even cheating if GLaDOS didn't think they were having sex?

"I hope you're not thinking of ways to murder me again. The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that-" the android was cut off from whatever amusing sentiments that she had been about to impart when her attentions were taken up in a probing kiss from the test subject, who was quick to lay her out on the floor again.

"You're not having any other test subject besides me from now on. I'm the only one you test. Just me. Is that clear? Those robots of yours are fine. But no people." Chell demanded forcefully, her hands full of the cool cloth of GLaDOS's shirt.

"Very well. You're getting quite good at being selfish though. I should have expected this of you. Your only redeeming feature is that you're better than most test subjects. And don't make me say that twice. I hope you're not developing an inappropriate emotional attachment to me. That would only complicate things." There was a strange glint in the supercomputer's eye as she spoke, but Chell chose to ignore it in favor of busying her lips in another wild kiss.

"I'm cold." She whimpered. The android would warm her up soon enough.

But one thing was for sure, and that was that GLaDOS could never know what she had done.


	46. Chapter 46

**Author's Note:** Good to know that I can twist all of your emotions like that. I feel so mean. Haha. Don't worry, I haven't given up on the story, and all will be explained. Just gotta keep reading, that's all. Shame! Shame! You should know me better than that. I'm not just going to abandon a story that way! That doesn't mean I have any ideas on how many chapters are left in this thing though. I wasn't sure whether I should stick the event in this chapter or a different one into the story, or maybe even both to force their hands into actually speaking with each other.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS of course, had been lying through her teeth.<p>

Lies wrapped up in little half truths were so much easier to explain. As long as there was a smidgeon of the truth there, they could hardly fault _her_ for _them_ assuming the wrong thing. Even so, it didn't make the actual truth any better. But that was the best thing about humans, she'd learned. They only asked questions when they actually wanted to know the real answer. Give them a hint of the lie and shroud it in truth and they'd figure it was something they didn't want to know and would ignore it. Or they'd just accept it. And that way, she could keep on doing what she'd always done. Nobody ever bothered to get into debates with supercomputers and run circles around them because they knew they couldn't outwit or outlast them. Well, except for the girl sitting in her lap and shivering like a wet dog. The one that was demanding that she keep her warm. She'd beaten her. She'd have to be careful.

And yet, despite her love for lies, enhancements of the truth and psychological manipulation when they came from her mouth and nobody else's, she'd almost wished that Chell had lied to her then and there if what she was hoping to hear wasn't satisfactory. But the girl hadn't even bothered to acknowledge it.

_I'm cold._

What kind of an answer was that to a legitimate prompt about inappropriate emotional attachments, anyway? She couldn't even ask her a question about it, because Chell was dumb like a fox. She'd pick up on that straight away. So the best way was sometimes the easiest. Just fall back into that same old routine until another opportunity presented itself. GLaDOS hardly even realized she'd been holding the girl in something resembling a hug until Chell was the one to actually point it out.

"You said you were cold. I can hardly keep you warm by lying on the floor with you sitting on me."

"Yeah, but hugging is hardly your thing." Chell scoffed. "You usually only do that when I make you."

"Yes, you seem to _make_ me do a lot of things, don't you? Do you know what happened the last time people tried to _make_ me do anything? I'll give you a hint. They _died_."

"Here we go again. Same old, same old. Not like I haven't heard _that_ line before." The test subject rolled her eyes. "Can we just...stop...with the fighting and go back to the way it was before?"

"Yes. That would be an excellent idea. It's not like I have anything else to do except cater to your every whim as soon as you snap your fingers."

"What are you talking about?"

GLaDOS clenched her teeth tightly together after flopping back down on the floor. The test subject remained perched in her lap, however, staring down at her expectantly. Maybe that's what the humans felt like with her looming over them. It was kind of unnerving to have people watching you like that. She'd have to answer now, though. Stupid humans, and their stupid questions.

"I may be a machine, but you need to stop treating me like one." It hadn't been her plan to elaborate on that any further, but from the look on the woman's face, she knew she'd have to.

"I'm fairly certain that there's not a _lot_ of people outside that convention thing that go around screwing robots."

"Oh look, you've ended up right where I wanted you. Proving my point. That is ALL you do to me. Or haven't you noticed that yet? I'm well aware that proper testing protocol requires repetition to provide reliable results, but every time I have attempted to move into the next phase of testing, you have stubbornly refused to participate. Instead, you deviate from the selected testing track – as usual – and test with other people. You might as well be working with Black Mesa."

"What? I've never tested with anyone besides-" Chell protested

"_Farm_ _boy_?" she angrily interrupted. "Showers don't get rid of _everything_. It seems your brain damage is far more extensive than I thought. Do I need to remind you that I have an electronic tongue that can analyze the chemical compositions of any surface? _I know what you've been doing, and it wasn't me_." GLaDOS hissed at her.

Chell's face paled, and she quickly scrambled back off the android and got to her feet. Oh god. She knew. Her eyes darted towards the long fall boots, and she wondered how much damage she'd have to take before she managed to get them on. She'd definitely need them to escape Aperture with a mad computer on the loose.

GLaDOS's optics followed the path of her eyes and looked towards the boots as she too stood up. "Oh, is that what you think of me? It seems old habits die hard." A panel on the floor raised up, sweeping the boots under with a single claw. There wouldn't be any chance of the test subject killing her without those and a portal gun. One had to cover all of their bases.

"Wait a minute...What right do you have to be mad at me? You were fucking some guy out in a field! I never would have done any of that if I hadn't seen you doing that!" Chell threw her arms in the air.

"I told you, I was _testing_."

"That's funny. It sure didn't look like testing to me." The test subject sneered.

"That's because you don't know what I was testing." GLaDOS quietly added, wandering further into the room and closer to her chassis, the thick black cable still attached to a port on her spine. Having that familiar form around was comforting. It helped her to keep her cool. It reminded her of what she was and what she should be.

"Well if you had actually bothered to tell me instead of running off to the nearest guy to fuck you, I might have been able to help."

"I wasn't sure that you would. I needed to test it first to see if it worked, and then I would have shown you. But you couldn't even wait for that. It's all very interesting. Why is it that you can look death in the eye and not back down, but still break down over simple matters that require human emotion? You ran away, _again_, before the test was complete."

The two dark lines of Chell's eyebrows knotted together in a deep furrow of confusion and frustration as she tried to make heads or tails of what the AI was telling her. Could she never just get a straight answer out of her? All of this was just giving her a stabbing headache. Then again, that might have been because she was just clenching her jaw so tightly together. But when the supercomputer pointed to the pocket of the pea coat she had pilfered from her, Chell's hand slipped in and grabbed something strangely familiar.

Withdrawing the gelatinous blob, the test subject held it up to the light. Some of the sensory endings still remained attached to the outside, making it look like a fuzzy, wiggling ball of jelly with the faint shadows inside that came from the circuitry. But unlike before, it didn't light up when she touched it, and it remained a dark, bluish-purple blob. She stared at it.

"I had that man remove my test reward center. I can rewire it, but I can't remove it myself or it punishes me. I tested him to obtain a control sample and had him clip the connections. It was a spur of the moment decision, and there were some unintended results. I should have ran some simulations first. I ended up being knocked offline. I don't know what happened after that. But I woke up and you were here."

"But...why?" Chell gave the ball an experimental squeeze. It did nothing. Produced no reaction either within it or within GLaDOS. That explained why she was so calm.

"_Science_." The supercomputer replied almost whimsically, as if that would explain everything else.

"How is this science? This is what makes you happy."

"Is it? Or is that what they want me to think? I've been a slave to that thing for so long. And now I'm free. I don't have to do what anyone tells me to do anymore."

"But you won't feel anything I do to you anymore. How can we-..._Is this what you wanted_? If you wanted to break up with me, you could have just-" Chell choked out.

"How can we 'break up' if you never treated me like we were together in the first place? I was only ever a machine to you. I was only there to do the same thing over and over again, only to be tossed aside when you didn't need me anymore. You were just like everyone else. You used that," she nodded towards the core in her hand. "To keep me in line. Every time I did something you didn't want me to do, you just pressed my buttons. You _made_ me enjoy it. I didn't have a say in it. Now I don't have to listen to you anymore. I can find out what_ I_ want. And how_ I_ feel."

Sometimes, telling the truth was better than telling lies. Sometimes, it just felt good.

"And what do you want?" the test subject was almost afraid to ask. Was this like the destruction of the morality core? Would she now try and kill her in the cruelest way she could possibly imagine?

"I don't know. I don't have to test anymore." And with that, GLaDOS took a seat on top of the desk at the computer console, crossing her legs at the ankle and clasping her hands together in her lap.

"I don't have to test anymore." She repeated, almost dumbly.

Standing there and staring would only get her so far. Answers wouldn't come if she didn't take a few steps forward to ask the question. So Chell found herself in front of the white-haired android, who parted her legs and let the woman step between them so that she could flatten her hands against GLaDOS's chest. They smoothed out, both pairs of eyes watching them as they came around to squeeze her upper arms, almost curiously.

"Can you feel..._anything_?" she queried softly. "Or is what we had gone?"

The AI didn't reply for a long while. It was hard when she didn't have all the answers. Lies were only fun when they made people do stupid things for her amusement. It would do both of them a disservice if she just made something up and it turned out to be incorrect. So for a moment, she just felt. Her touch and pressure sensors were working perfectly fine. There was a strange numbness in place of that itch that had bothered her nearly to the point of insanity for so many years. She remained silent for far longer than Chell was willing to wait, and when she looked up there were hot tears prickling in the test subject's eyes. Before she knew it, she found herself wrapped up in one of those terribly soothing hugs that humans seemed to enjoy.

"I don't want this to be over. Does that sound stupid? We're supposed to hate each other. I should go." She blathered on, but an inhuman grip on her forearm stopped her from leaving. In fact, it tugged her right back towards the android it belonged to.

"Sometimes repetitive testing is the only way to find the answer. It produces more accurate results."

And then she kissed her.

As long as truths were being told, sex and testing were as different as apples and combustible lemons. Testing produced results; data, numbers, facts. It could be analyzed and researched and everything had its place. Sex didn't comply with those rules. Everything was just a confusing jumble of meaningless sensory input that had no pattern or scientific basis. Each action produced a reaction geared towards either pleasure or pain. If she touched her _this_ way, she'd make _that_ noise; if she touched her _that_ way, she'd make _this_ noise. But just when she thought she had it figured out, Chell wanted something different and rendered all her data completely and utterly useless.

For a computer, sex was an anomaly. It was a problem in her system that shouldn't exist. Every fiber of her being stated that it should be removed like some kind of virus so that regular testing could continue. But the euphoria would no longer eat it up, and testing was not something that ruled her life anymore. Nothing within her screamed at her to ignore what was happening. It was strange to not be weighed down by euphoria demanding that testing continue, or the complete _lack_ of feeling that had once been there before she had rewired her reward center.

GLaDOS removed her lips from Chell's, leaning back on her hands and tilting her head as she studied the human in front of her.

"Well?" the test subject asked, shifting nervously.

So, how exactly did one go about creating a lie that would sufficiently cover up the fact that even when curled up in a tangle of limbs - smeared in human sweat and other bodily fluids - she would have promised Chell the world?

Sex and testing may have been different, but grabbing Chell by the knockers was something else entirely.


	47. Chapter 47

**Author's Note:** Sorry I haven't been updating as frequently. It probably won't be happening as much for the next couple of weeks as I'm on placement at the local hospital and I'm dead tired by the time I get home. I might be able to post more on the weekends, but don't expect too much until I can actually get some sleep and think again. Plus, I've had a little bit of writer's block for this chapter.

* * *

><p>"I can feel you touching me. My sensory input and testing euphoria are two separate systems." GLaDOS informed the test subject, who seemed quite insistent on running her hands all over her.<p>

"That's not what I wanted to know." Chell muttered, her hands finally finding a resting place upon the android's hips.

"I refuse to be a slave to that thing anymore. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner."

"I know...I don't want you to be. But-...I liked it."

"Explanation demanded in 3, 2, 1..."

"I liked what it made you do. I liked being able to do that _to_ you."

"It was an addiction. One that prevented science from progressing as it should." GLaDOS haughtily sneered. "Are you saying I was better off with it?"

"No. Not the addiction part. Couldn't you change it now that it's not affecting you? Just so you get the good and not the bad?"

"I'm not putting it back in. The Enrichment Center is now free of all outside influences, save for one particularly tenacious lunatic that I can't seem to get rid of."

"But-"

"But nothing. You should go back and apologize for your terrible behavior. He'll be wondering what happened to you. I'm sure he'll understand if you explain that it was an unintended result of testing."

"Since when did you care about his feelings? Why are you so calm about this? One minute you're throwing me around a room because he tried to kiss me and now you're perfectly fine."

"You can't understand because you're human. You thrive on emotional connections. I am not human, so I can see this objectively. What happened today was a side effect of testing. What happened before was not part of a test. It's that simple." GLaDOS informed her.

"It's not simple! I didn't want you to change. Everything was fine the way it was! I didn't want any of this to happen. Put it back in, and we can go back to bed. Please?" Chell begged, but the android remained where she was. So she pressed herself further against her and let her teeth tug at her earlobe. "I'll do anything you want?"

"_Anything_?"

"Yes."

"Good. Because now that I'm free, there are a few tests I'd like to run." The supercomputer slipped off the desk, and out of the woman's grasp. "Proceed to the elevator to begin testing." A slender hand pointed in the direction of the glass tube that raised itself from the floor.

"You can't be serious. _Testing_? You want to _test_? That's all you ever do!" Chell exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

"It's all I was ever programmed to do."

Chell went quiet at that.

"If you are finished with your hysterics, I would like to remind you that you did promise that you'd do anything. And I want to test."

The test subject let out a wilting sigh before heading towards the tube that would carry her to the chambers.

"I haven't got a portal gun or long fall boots. Or a jumpsuit." She pointed out.

"You won't be needing them."

* * *

><p>As the doors snapped shut and encased her in a sound-dampening if not soundproof prison, GLaDOS set herself up for the transfer back into her main body so that she could better control the facility. Chell would have no clue as to what she was up to, but the worried look upon her face suggested she was thinking of the last time she had to test without a portal device. It hadn't been particularly pleasant. While it shuttled her test subject off to the chamber she was preparing to occupy her time, GLaDOS set to work on the real test.<p>

There wouldn't be any failures this time.

This time, it would be 100% Aperture Science quality materials that would be completely compatible with her hardware.

The android body was soon laid out on a bench where it could be easily reached by the delicate manipulation claws that had made it; though it remained connected to the facility to recharge while the looming metal giant above it began gathering the materials for her little project. That horrid little mess of a vibrator may have had some good points, but what was the use if she couldn't actually connect it properly? That had made her look like an idiot. An impotent, incompetent idiot. And that was something that GLaDOS just couldn't stand for. Once this thing was built, Chell wouldn't know what hit her. She'd get a good rodgering and she'd be wishing she never went to farm boy in the first place.

The golden optic narrowed.

She'd have to plan something for him too, because there was no way he could possibly be allowed to put his filthy hands all over her test subject like that and get away with it. Killing and maiming was out of the question, as Chell would never speak to her again if she did that. Then again, once she saw just how delightedly ravished she'd be once she'd had a good seeing-to, Chell might be willing to at least compromise on the maiming thing. A little pain and maybe the loss of a limb never did anyone any harm.

Firstly, she'd have to direct her to an Aperture Science chemical shower so that she could be properly scrubbed off. She may not know a lot about moods, but she was fairly certain it would be ruined if she could still taste farm boy on her lips.

Needless to say, when Chell stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hallway to be confronted by an actual laboratory, she was looking mighty confused. Her eyes sought out the chunky white camera that peered down at her from the corner of the room before the speakers crackled on.

"There is a chemical shower in this room. I suggest you make good use of it. The Enrichment Centre would like to remind you that cleanliness is next to godliness. But since you're not me, we'll have to make do now, won't we?" GLaDOS jibed, though more of her attention was focused on the naked human jiggling under the spray of the water. It wasn't particularly warm, but it would do the job of getting her clean.

A vital apparatus vent was easy enough to put in place to deposit a couple of clean towels so that the test subject could dry off, and soon enough, Chell was back in the elevator being spirited away to what she assumed was the test. Stepping out into a darkened room, she found she had to slide her hands along the walls as she crept along, trying to find her way. Testing in the dark? This was ridiculous. Normally her eyes would have adjusted, but with absolutely no light filtered in, she was utterly blind. Thankfully the panel on the wall flickered to life to tell her what the chamber entailed. Her eyes dropped below the number to see which indicators were lit up. But none of them were, save for a new little picture right down the bottom that she'd never seen before.

From what it looked like, it was a little brain.

That didn't particularly instil any sort of confidence or trust in her.

The speakers popped once more as GLaDOS spoke.

"Proceed into the test chamber. There is nothing in here that can harm you. You will not fall into a pit of acid. You will not be shot by turrets. There are no thermal discouragement beams to discourage you."

Chell remained where she was, staring up at the faint red glow from the camera's lens. Psychological testing? It sounded like the perfect front for GLaDOS to tell her a lies and do the exact opposite. Unfortunately, it seemed that remaining in place wasn't an option as the floor panels began to rise up and force her into the blacked-out chamber. As she waited, her heart fluttered as fast as a rabbit. There could be anything in this room, really.

Chell was instantly blinded by a multiple bright white lights that beamed in from the ceiling; spotlights that had no place being in any room that had shiny white walls that reflected the hot white glow directly into her eyes. Although she couldn't see and had to cover her face with her arms to block out some of the light, she still heard the supercomputer's surprised cry the moment the beams flickered on.

"OH! Oh no...I _lied_. There is something in here that can harm you. It seems I've locked you in a room with a murderer. You may want to think about that."

When the brightness of the lights subsided a little and came down to a tolerable level, Chell saw amongst the spots dancing in her vision that the room was completely empty. Whitewashed panels that looked brand new made up the walls and floor, and it appeared that the only shock of color in the room besides herself came from the camera's lens and the frame of the circular door at the end of the tiny box of a room. The whole place smelled of industrial grade cleaning products as if GLaDOS had it done up just for her. She couldn't say anything about the roof, as the lights were too bright to even think about looking up there. And it echoed every time she walked or sneezed or did anything that required noise. She didn't like it one bit, and quickly made for the door.

But it didn't open.

"Welcome to the Aperture Science Psychological Testing Initiative. You may begin."

* * *

><p>Chell remained in that room for hours, pacing back and forth and clawing at the walls and doors, trying to figure out how to complete the chamber. She had to hand it to her; it WAS quite a good test, even if it was incredibly frustrating. The supercomputer hadn't said anything to her at all since she was told to start the test, and she actually found herself missing that snarky voice that guided her through the facility. Chell was all out of bright ideas. She'd thought she was being clever by actually knocking on the door. It would have been just like GLaDOS to make it that simple just to piss her off. But even that hadn't worked. So instead she just alternated between lying down on the cold floor and trying to think, as well as pacing about like a madman.<p>

Was this how Doug had gone insane?

The sound of the speakers turning on again startled her from her reverie, and Chell's eyes tipped up towards the camera in expectation.

"The Enrichment Center would like to apologize for this clearly broken test chamber. It appears that we have overlooked the part where you are, in fact, already a lunatic. This test has been completely useless, and the results will still be noted on your record. You failed, by the way, but you may proceed to the next chamber. For science."

Rolling her eyes at GLaDOS's antics, Chell pulled herself up off the ground and stretched out the stiffness in her muscles before she wandered to the doors and to the elevator. But she was more than a little perturbed to find that there was none there waiting for her. Instead, it was straight into another test chamber.

This one was darkened too, though there was a little light. But after being in that bright room for so long, her vision wasn't particularly reliable as it tried to adjust. Amongst the spots dancing around, she thought for a moment that she actually saw a bed. Was that carpet under her feet?

A pair of familiar arms wrapped themselves around her from behind, the hands beginning to wander even before the black cable was disconnected from the android that the hands belonged to. Chell's eyes immediately closed and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Now this is more like it."

"This next test chamber aims to measure your emotional response when confronted with-"

"Cut the crap. This isn't even a test chamber. You're just saying that." The dark-haired woman spun around in the android's arms, looping her own around her neck to pull her in nice and close. "I get it, okay? I haven't been very good to you lately, and I'm sorry." Chell stood up on her toes so that she could leave a light peck upon her lips. "But I can make up for that. I said I'd do anything. So what do you want me to do?"

An all-too satisfied smile began to creep across the supercomputer's face until it turned into a devious smirk.

"Assume the party escort submission position. I have a surprise for you."


	48. Chapter 48

**Author's Note:** Today turned out really well despite having plenty to do on the ward. Funnily enough, had to look after a woman named Gladys. It made me cackle madly on the inside, because all I could think about was GLaDOS. But anyway, I'm still awake enough to actually write another chapter, even though I should be showering. I think I smell like someone else's urine. It isn't particularly pleasant, but I'm inspired. Bloody hell. The things I do for you people!

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Chell bit her lip, trying not to laugh.<p>

"I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine! I'm just...adjusting." GLaDOS timidly protested.

"You've been lying on top of me for five minutes now, _not_ doing anything." The test subject tried to shift into a more comfortable position under the android.

"DON'T MOVE! Don't! Just...stop." She buried her face back into the little nook of Chell's neck and shoulder where there was a nice pillow to cushion her forehead.

"Why, what happens if I do this?" Chell raised her hips and hooked one leg lazily around the supercomputer to teasingly grind against her.

"NO! Stop! Uh..._ohhh_." GLaDOS's protests quickly turned into a languid groan that showed her appreciation of the test subject's antics, even if her lips didn't speak the same sentiments. "I don't know...I don't know if it's supposed to feel like this or if I turned the sensitivity up too high." She managed to get out around a mouthful of the pillowcase.

"But you took that thing out of you. You can't get the euphoria."

"I may not be able to get the euphoria. But it doesn't mean I can't _feel_." GLaDOS tightened her grip on the dark-haired female beneath her.

"If you're going to keep feeling and not doing then I'm inclined to take over this little adventure for myself." She whispered in the supercomputer's ear, but didn't give her any chance to think up a witty response. Chell simply rolled them over until she was sitting on top and had complete control of the situation.

Not that GLaDOS voiced any complaints.

In fact, the only thing she seemed to be voicing at all was a rather incoherent stream of babble that mostly consisted of various noises of approval. Chell certainly didn't need to worry about fighting for dominance in the situation as the android quite willingly gave it over to , this Aperture Science approved appendage that she had built was most definitely better than the useless lump of jelly that that they had gotten from the robotics appreciation convention. GLaDOS seemed to be enjoying herself at the very least, and it didn't take long at all for them to reach a point where neither of them was in any danger of the other stopping and leaving each other high and dry.

The android ended up just lying on her back next to the test subject afterwards; staring blankly at the roof with her mouth open in a semi-catatonic state.

Rolling onto her side and propping her head up on a sweaty palm, Chell tucked the sheets around herself and offered a cheeky smile.

"So, how was that? Our sex life is back to normal. Was that the surprise? Are you happy now?"

"Yeah..."

"Is everything _else_ back to normal between us?"

"Are you going to put your test reward thing back in?"

"Yeah..."

"Am I the prettiest, least fat and most sane test subject you've ever had?"

"Yeah..."

"Am I your favourite?"

"Yeah..."

"Are you just saying yeah to everything and not listening to me?"

"Yeah..." GLaDOS mumbled again, her blank stare never leaving the roof.

"I thought so." Chell rolled her eyes, leaning in to press her lips to the android's cheek. It did manage to get her attention though, as her eyes turned towards her.

"What?"

"Don't worry. Just relax." She murmured, stroking the abnormally white strands of hair on top of her artificial companion's head. "But seriously though, are we okay? Between us, I mean. I don't want to go back to fighting. Or murdering, if you're going to start that up again."

GLaDOS stared at the blue-eyed woman for a while, as if trying to gauge the level of sincerity and murderous intent. Unfortunately, it seemed that she was telling the truth. And then leaking that truth out in the form of that horrible sweaty dripping she was currently releasing from her pores, along with all the other hormones and pheromones that she was currently full of.

"I may or may not find that I am required to systematically eviscerate your floppy-haired male associate for daring to put his hands on you like that. I don't know yet. I haven't tested. Which reminds me; if you ever think of doing something like that again, I WILL murder you."

"I thought you said all that was part of a test?"

"I _lied_."

"Getting a little protective, are we?" Chell grinned as the android set her jaw in a stubborn glare that dared her to defy her express orders not to fornicate with various members of her own species. Which completely went against what GLaDOS had intended by releasing her into the general populous. Strangely enough, Chell found herself not minding it one bit.

Naturally, GLaDOS refused to answer her baiting. She did, however, peek curiously under the covers when the test subject snuck down beneath them once more. The handsy little butterball ended up stealing her garter once more, returning from beneath the sheets with it in her teeth. The lace was already damp from where Chell had been grinding up against her thigh earlier, scratching her own itch. But she didn't seem to mind one bit.

"Why do you even like that thing so much? Even those monstrosities that the moron created have more purpose to them."

"It's yours. And it smells like you." Chell replied with a carefree little shrug and a smile, though relinquished her hold on it so the android could raise it to her own nose.

"It smells like _you_." GLaDOS corrected.

"Semantics." Chell waved her hand dismissively. "You're getting distracted by all the details. The important part is that it's yours. And now it's mine."

"Fine then. Keep it. I don't need it."

"Nope." She shook her head. "You will keep it, and you will wear it. But it is mine."

GLaDOS just let out a lengthy sigh and rolled over onto her side, bringing the test subject's arm around with her. What was the point in fighting over something so trivial anyway? The girl had already proved her tenacity and stubbornness in many other areas, so it was unlikely she'd back down on this issue either. Sometimes it was better to just let it go.

"Lunatic."

* * *

><p>Speaking of lunatics, the one currently tugging on her arm seemed to be in high enough spirits, clutching the scrap of material in her other hand while she dragged her through the wheat field. The snow and dead grass crunched beneath their feet, though it seemed that Chell's good mood rendered her relatively immune to the cold. Until of course, she decided that it didn't and that it required snuggling up under GLaDOS's arm again with a stupid grin on her chubby little face.<p>

"You look like you have tetanus. Stop smiling at me like that."

As always, Chell did the complete opposite and continued to smile. In fact, she might have made it deliberately wider, just to weasel a suspicious glare from her robotic companion. And glare she did, though rather softer than usual. But the jovial mood between them almost immediately faded the moment that they heard Billy's angry call from the door of the diner.

"Hey! What was that all about, Chell? I was worried sick about you. You just disappeared again! Now I see you're back with _her_ again? You can't just do that to people!" he protested, stopping the two of them in their tracks.

"I-..."

"No, cut the crap! She's a bad influence on you. You shouldn't have her around at all. She's bad news, for you and for all of us. You know what I found out after you left? I went on the internet, and I found out all about your little robot there. GLaDOS. Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. She was a project of Aperture Science, which is this top secret crazy lab thing that was around like ages ago. She killed everyone! There are people in this town that have ancestors that used to work there. That thing's a homicidal maniac computer, and she needs to be shut down. Right now!" he pointed at the white-haired android, who wasn't looking too pleased with his accusations, even if they were true.

"Billy...I know. I know what she did. I'm sorry I ran away. But I know. I used to be one of her test subjects." Chell tried to wheedle him into a calmer and more rational state. Her efforts to place her hand on his arm were rebuffed when he pulled away from her.

"She still is, actually. She has severe brain damage, and often forgets the fact that she signed a contract that retains her as property of Aperture Science, even after her death. I'll probably just harvest her organs for science, if they aren't caked in lard." The supercomputer droned.

"All the more reason why you need to be taken out of the picture, and away from Chell. I'm not going to let you manipulate her anymore. And neither is anyone else." Billy quickly grabbed the crowbar that he had leaned against the wall next to the trash can. He had been using it to help pry up a window that had been stuck fast with a new paint job, but it would prove to be rather useful.

Brandishing it like a baseball bat, he let out a sharp whistle and was swiftly joined by several other farmers, who didn't look one bit pleased with GLaDOS's antics. Their appearance put her at a bit of a disadvantage, and some of her bored confidence ebbed away enough for her to widen her optics and take a couple of steps back. But the place she had vacated was quickly taken up by Chell, who leaped in front of her.

"Don't even think about it. You leave her alone! She hasn't done anything to any of you."

"She's dangerous, and that's all I give a damn about." Billy growled.

He looked too much like a grumpy four year old throwing a tantrum to stir much of a threat rating. And the way he was twirling the crowbar didn't look particularly like he was prepared to use it either. As it turned out, he ended up being the one to hand it to another man and lunge forward to wrap Chell up in a bear hug while she kicked and struggled. And the more he pulled her away from GLaDOS, the more she fought him.

"Stop it! Let me go! GLaDOS, do something!"

The four other men were the ones to go after the android, who was torn between bolting away and staying to fight. She'd fought Black Mesa before, so how hard could this be? Multiple enemies weren't a problem, though she was at a little bit of a disadvantage without the full control of the facility at her fingertips.

Then again, the fact that they _weren't_ enemies _was_ the problem.

These were Chell's friends. The people that she had sent her off to live with. If she resisted whatever they were planning, the responsibility and blame wasn't going to fall solely on her. It would fall on Chell as well, and this was the place that the girl wanted to live. She'd found a home in this Podunk little town in the middle of nowhere, and found a family in Mrs Keegan too. Not that she particularly liked the old bag, but she had taken good care of her test subject. The fact that she was even considering all of this led GLaDOS to the simple conclusion that consciences were terrifying.

Especially when they were your own.

And it really was.

Caroline didn't even get a say in that one as she eased out of her tense stance and allowed them to grab her by the arms.

A long-suffering sigh escaped the lips of the android, followed by a steady stream of sticky black liquid dripping down her chin as a rather unpleasant result of the crowbar that had been shoved through her chest.

"Why does having sex with you always result in _murder_?"


	49. Chapter 49

**Author's Note:** I've answered **I'mAwfulAtThinkingOfUsernames**'s review on my Tumblr if people haven't seen it yet. As for **CB**'s review; Billy isn't supposed to be smart, and his dialogue _hopefully_ reflects that. I can't really get into his head very well as I haven't established him as a character well enough, when I probably should have. So writing decent dialogue for him is trickier than for GLaDOS and Chell. He's supposed to come across as a dopey but well-meaning farm boy who hasn't had all the education that he could have, hence the "I R CAN USE INTURNETS! LOL GET BACK! I SAVE U!"

* * *

><p>GLaDOS's head tipped downwards to look at the black sludge starting to leak out of the hole that the crowbar had created. It wasn't a particularly pleasant sight, but for once she was glad she had moved her test reward centre to mimic the human body. Otherwise she figured she'd be in a whole world of pain. As it was, the injury had simply severed some connections in the vicinity. That didn't stop the internal alarm bells and flood of data that told her repetitively that this wasn't a good thing. Not that she needed them to tell her that.<p>

With a hand that shot out and clamped instinctively around the man's arm, GLaDOS began to twist it in her grip until she got some kind of a reaction. But Chell's cry halted her as the girl continued to kick and struggle, with Billy having a hard time holding her. He was lucky that she'd never regained her full strength after her period of convalescence or he might have been the one in a whole world of trouble. She could have easily told him how painful it was to be murdered by that lunatic. And how blissfully wonderful it was to have those very same hands touching every_thing _and every_where_.

Oh, wait.

Billy already knew that, didn't he?

Wrenching the end of the crowbar out with a minor spark of static hissing from her speakers, GLaDOS lunged at farm boy, her hands extended and flexed like the claws of a cat. Or maybe even the talons of a certain little killer with wings. But her attempt at an attack was thwarted when the end of the crowbar came down again, the hooked teeth piercing her shoulder and ripping her backwards into a flailing stumble that sent her careening off course and into her captor's arms again.

"Let me go!"

But her demands weren't answered by anything but another strike of the crowbar. It landed with a hollow thunk against her chest, but didn't do a lot of damage other than rattling her around a bit.

"Go and get the power tools! Take her apart before she can hurt you!" Billy demanded, yelping as Chell bit at his fingers.

They'd already started to gather a small crowd from the owners of the nearby shops, who had come out to see what the commotion was. Their horrified stares turned into curious whispers once they saw it was the android that was being held down on the pavement, and were quickly drowned out by the sound of the hand-held angle grinder that had been taken from the hardware store that Billy's father owned. With three burly males sitting on top of her and crushing her down, there wasn't much room to move. She may have been able to pick up the front end of an old rust-bucket of a truck, but there was only so much that the supercomputer could do with her movements being restricted. Apparently insults weren't the best way to convince them that they shouldn't cut her open.

Flecks of charred silicone splattered across the fronts of their shirts, some pieces continuing to flame as they were burned by the sparks created by the spinning metal disk catching on the metal beneath her flesh. It continued to bite into her shoulder to try and eat through her arm like a ravenous dog, showering them with flecks of golden sparks and filling the air with its scream of protest at being pressed against the more durable metal. Even when they tried to cut into the joint directly it didn't give much more, though it did pop it out of the socket and render the arm useless and limp. The other limbs swiftly followed, with GLaDOS lending her angry yells to the cacophony.

"Stop it! STOP IT! LET HER GO!" Chell screamed in turn.

The teeth of the angle grinder bit into the android's throat and ripped through it with ease until it hit her spine. It too was made out of the durable metal, and no matter how hard they dug into the joints of each vertebrae, it failed to cut her to pieces. Instead, the grinder gave a pitiful whine; smoking a little before the disk simply shattered under the pressure and exploded outwards.

One man gave a sharp gasp as a piece flicked by his face and left a bleeding gash on the bridge of his nose.

But he hardly needed to hold her down any further for them to continue to take her apart by hand, as GLaDOS's struggles had mostly died out by then. The sensory input to her limbs had been severed, leaving her weakly flailing with the most basic of motor movements she was capable of.

When they pulled out the drill and put it to her forehead to prepare to burrow it into her most sensitive of components, Chell felt that kicking people in the nuts was a necessary evil. That was to say, she ended up giving a good old thrust of her heel up into Billy's bits and pieces, and then a frantic elbow to his nose so that he'd let her go. Once freed, she immediately leapt at the male with the drill, knocking him off the supercomputer. With fists flailing like a retarded windmill of death and pain, she drove them away with her banshee screams and covered GLaDOS up so that they couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Leave her alone! Leave her alone!" Chell moaned out in between her gasps for air. "You had no right to do that to her!"

GLaDOS simply let out a few hisses and crackle of static, her vision blocked out by the test subject cradling her face against her chest. With her audio fading in and out, she only managed to pick up bits and pieces of what the lunatic was saying. For all she knew, she was trying to smother her in her fat. Granted, it was one of the more pleasant ways to die. In fact, when she ended up in android hell, she'd probably revel in telling the tale of how she was the first robot to die from boob fat.

Lovely, lovely boob fat.

Oh yes, dying.

She should probably get back to that.

The sudden influx of light nearly blinded her failing optics as they too flickered in and out of working order when Chell pulled back away from her enough to look down at her face. She felt the test subject's stubby fingers wiping at her lips. At least she was smart enough to wrap them in fabric that she'd torn off her clothes. That stuff was probably acidic. But didn't stop the lunatic from kissing her when she'd gotten rid of most of it. She almost smiled.

It was all strangely peaceful now.

There weren't any alarms anymore. The reward centre was long gone, and she was free of any pain or pleasure. She couldn't really hear anything either. That was something new.

GLaDOS let her head drop back into Chell's arms, where it was cradled reverently.

Was that lunatic crying?

Some of the black sludge dripped down onto her speakers, shorting them out and leaving her voice more distorted than usual. Why she felt the need to reassure the tubby loon was beyond her reasoning capabilities at that point in time, but she hardly had the ability to argue with herself anyway. GLaDOS had no idea if Chell could even hear her, as she couldn't hear her own voice anymore.

"It's fine...It doesn't hurt."

Whatever came out from between her lips only made the human female screw her face up into an even uglier expression of distress. Was that supposed to happen? It was supposed to make her feel better and stop dripping her bodily fluids all over her. It was just like the lunatic to take it the wrong way.

"Stop doing thaaaaat...You look even more terrible than usual." GLaDOS muttered, managing to raise her arm just enough to flap it against Chell's cheek in some useless attempt at wiping away the watery leaking so that she'd stand at least some chance of plugging it up. But her hand was taken up into a shaking grasp; the backs of her fingers covered in horrible wet kisses that mingled with the salty tears that streaked the test subject's face.

"Do you really have to leak out of _every_ orifice? This is exceptionally unpleasant for me." GLaDOS grumbled when the female holding her insisted on sniffling and nuzzling her cheek, which was slowly cooling. "I told you, it doesn't hurt..."

For once she was telling the truth, though it wasn't particularly reassuring to either one of them. Chell could see the light in her optics flickering in and out as her power supply faded. It was stupid to be so worked up like that. GLaDOS would just wake up in Aperture again, and build herself a new body. She really shouldn't be so emotional. Everything would go back to the way it was. She had a save feature, unlike humans. She wasn't really dying. She was never alive in the first place.

That reasoning didn't make it any easier on Chell, who insisted on holding the robot until she finally switched off and went limp in her arms. It did, however, make it very easy for the dark-haired female to round on Billy and berate him with a tidal wave of insults and foul language that might have even caused GLaDOS to go silent, had she been awake to hear.

Chell left the group of stunned males with a smarting hand; the end result of whopping Billy in the nose with a good old punch. She'd have to tell GLaDOS all about that when she got her back online. As it was, she gathered up the android as fast as she could and carried her back to Mrs Keegan's cottage. She couldn't go any further. Adrenaline was a bitch when it only belonged to one person and wasn't being artificially pumped in. She could have gone on forever.

Dumping GLaDOS in a tangle of partially dismembered limbs upon her bed, Chell soon joined her after kicking the door closed and locking it so she didn't have to deal with the confused older woman who was questioning her on what had happened. When the knocking subsided and footsteps died away, she finally rolled towards the android and stared at her. If she actually closed her eyes, she'd just look like she was sleeping once she was mostly put back together.

Chell felt numb.

And exhausted.

Reaching forward, she picked up GLaDOS's head, careful not to rip out the last few wires it was still attached by. Although the spine was still there, it felt far too loose and wobbly. She could easily position it to face her so that she could press her lips against her again.

They felt fake, and dead.

Was this what she had been attracted to?

This marvel of machinery, that so easily imitated human life?

Chell scrambled until she was sitting on top of GLaDOS, her hands digging in under the silicone flesh until they grabbed at the end of the power cord. Knocking the lamp out of the way, she plugged it into the nearest electrical outlet, hoping that the android beneath her would light up again. And she did, only briefly. It was just enough to do what needed to be done.

The moment Chell saw her eyes light up and felt the hum of the electric body between her legs, she spoke; her hands pressed against GLaDOS's cheeks to make sure she was looking at her.

"I love you...I really do. _I love you_." She choked out.

The light went out and once more the machine was still and silent.

Chell didn't know if she'd even heard her at all.


	50. Chapter 50

**Author's Note:** In reply to the person who left an anonymous review; just because someone is strong doesn't mean they are indestructible. GLaDOS's strength comes from what is essentially her "skeleton," and not from the "soft tissue" that one would be able to consider to be flesh and muscle. She can lift the car because the metal of her skeleton isn't going to easily crush, and she can put her fist through someone's chest or crush their arm because the hand is essentially a hard, bony area. Or in her case, made of that same metal. The rest of her can be broken almost as easily as an iPhone. As for the lamp? That was one of those old fashioned heavy ones made of metal. Not the cheap plastic or porcelain crap that we get nowadays.

And where do you think am I going with the confession, **CB**? Can't say I had anything particularly amusing in mind, but you seem to be laughing. Want to share?

* * *

><p>GLaDOS was taking a particularly long time to come back, Chell decided; but she was a much more advanced being to put back together than either Orange or Blue were. Perhaps sourcing the right parts was proving particularly difficult. For a while she wondered whether she should stop lying there clinging to the mess of discombobulated parts and just take them back to Aperture, but tiredness had gotten the better of her. It was easier to just stay there. Surely GLaDOS would understand that she was waiting for her. A particularly unflattering, lion-like yawn escaped the test subject as she laid there staring at the broken android. She couldn't just leave her there and go back to Aperture without her, even if GLaDOS's new body would be more suited to carrying it back for incineration or recycling. So the only obvious solution was to stay there and keep her company.<p>

Chell wrapped her arms around the mess of a robot, readjusting her limbs so she looked like she was at least still mostly in one piece, and rested her head on her shoulder like she had always done. Although she was starting to cool down, her clothing still retained some of the warmth from her internal components. There wouldn't be any left much longer, so she'd leech as much of it out as she could before she got stuck with whatever the new one was like.

It really wasn't fair. She'd been with this one for so long it felt almost traitorous to even entertain the thought of being shacked up with a "new" GLaDOS. Her main body at Aperture and the android were completely different from each other and could be separated, but to go from one android to another felt far too much like cheating. It was ridiculous, considering that GLaDOS would be the same in whatever body she inhabited, but being able to hang onto something familiar was something that Chell enjoyed doing. It was like comparing a new home to one that had been lived in and loved. It still belonged to the same person, but it was lacking all those personal touches. And GLaDOS had become quite good at personally touching her.

Knowing GLaDOS's disposal habits, this body would probably get incinerated with all the rest of the junk as it was fairly useless. It would probably cost more to fix than it would to replace it. And this would be the last that she'd see of it. Although she was probably being extraordinarily creepy by doing so to what was essentially now little more than a mannequin, Chell leaned over and pressed her lips to the unmoving ones of the android. It would be hard to see her go like this. Would the new one be exactly the same? Right down to those tiny little crinkles at the corners of her eyes that made her look so realistic?

It was stupid to be worried over such a trivial thing, but as far as Chell was concerned, GLaDOS was hers and nobody else's. To replace her was like replacing a lost limb with a lump of wood. It would serve the same purpose but would never be what she really needed. Only time would tell whether a new one would work for her. So the test subject drew the android closer to make the most of what was left of her while she still could.

* * *

><p>Some hours later after sleeping off the after-effects of her adrenaline rush, Chell was awoken by a tapping of small stones against the window pane. GLaDOS's body was still lying next to her so it was obvious that she hadn't been back to collect it. At first, she had wondered what the noise was, but upon discovering where it was she managed to drag herself out of the warm of her covers and pull back the lacy drapes to peek out into the chill of the night. It wasn't a particularly pleasant action to have to undertake in winter with as few clothes as she had on, but when she saw a very familiar form standing there waiting on her, Chell decided it was worth it.<p>

From what she could see by the light of the moon, GLaDOS was the same as she had always been, though she had changed back to wearing slacks and the black turtleneck as the clothes that she had taken from Caroline's office been absolutely ruined by the angle grinder.

"Why are you throwing rocks? Just come upstairs." Chell hissed as quietly as she could, as she didn't need to be waking up Mrs Keegan while they were at it.

"You have a _visitor_ sleeping on the couch. There are only so many times I can be murdered and dismembered in one day before I share it around. And I don't think you want me doing that."

"What? Billy's here?"

"Is he stalking you? I can completely understand. He's probably a chubby chaser. I'll have to deal with that later." GLaDOS sighed, as if all her plans for the night had been ruined. "Anyway, throw the rest of me down here so I can get rid of me."

"I don't want to get rid of you."

"I completely understand your desires towards my person. I _am_ empirically amazing. However, your behaviour is not conducive towards the appropriate disposal of decommissioned Aperture Science property. I will _not_ have Black Mesa getting their hands on that kind of technology just because you leave it in a corner somewhere when you're done playing with it. Now be a good test subject for once and return it to me immediately." GLaDOS demanded.

"Fine." Chell huffed, disappearing back into the room for a moment before the useless wreck of a robot was carefully pushed through the window where it fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

The working model of GLaDOS, however, paid it no mind, and simply used it as a stepping stone to climb up the trellis and ivy that was crawling up the back of the cottage so that she could climb n through the window instead.

"What are you doing? I thought you were taking it back to Aperture?" Chell took a few steps backwards as the other female came closer, looming over her. Was it just her imagination running wild, or did this new body seem more imposing than usual? It was probably her imagination, she decided. There was absolutely nothing physically different about her.

"I will return it in the morning." GLaDOS curtly informed her, shutting the window again so neither of them had to deal with the cold.

The room suddenly felt a whole lot smaller to the test subject.

"Have you returned to a state of weak indecision and dementia while I was gone? You are acting stranger than usual. And that is really saying something. Perhaps I shouldn't wake you in the middle of the night from now on. You do appear extraordinarily confused."

GLaDOS was summarily assaulting by the test subject, who had decided it was completely necessary to jump at her and wrap her in some kind of constricting bear-hug that more resembled the feeding habits of a boa-constrictor than anything else. She wouldn't be at all surprised if Chell managed to unhinge her jaw and swallow her whole like a fat kid with a cupcake.

"Explain why this is happening to me. Now."

"You smell new." Chell admitted. "Like when I first saw you in this body. Well...that one you made me toss out the window, that is."

"You were worried that I wouldn't be the same."

"Yes...I like that smell." The test subject buried her face in GLaDOS's chest, trying not to be too obvious about it as she took a deep breath of the sterile, plastic, hospital-like smell of the android.

"There are so many things wrong with you that I'm not sure that even I have the hard drive capacity to save that list. Honestly. I'm not even lying about that, lunatic."

"I don't care." Chell muttered, before digging her fingers into the front of her shirt and pulling her down to kiss her.

Almost immediately she felt as if her heart had done a complete back flip of joy when she found that GLaDOS still retained that taste of new silicone on her lips as well. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this new GLaDOS at all. In fact, the taste and smell that had almost worn off the other body was now doing all sorts of wonderful things to her that Chell had no inclination of stopping.

Body?

What other body?

"Mmm." Chell quite happily wrapped her arms around the supercomputer's neck.

It was a good thing GLaDOS already made plans for staying, as she'd have a hard time convincing her to let her go now that she knew what she was dealing with. That squirmy goodness that was bubbling around inside her demanded nothing less than a bed and one deliciously warm android writhing around either on top of her or under her. It didn't particularly matter which eventuality occurred. But at least one of them would, as far as she was concerned.

What had she even been worried about? Now she just felt ridiculous. But that concern was also quickly pushed to the wayside in favour of a little testing of her own. Testing that would explore the hypothesis that it was possible to make out so much that those artificial lips would lose that silicone flavour. And that was the kind of testing that Chell had absolutely no problems in trying to complete. In fact, to properly explore it, it would most definitely need to be repeated, over and over again until she got it right.

Surely GLaDOS wouldn't mind.

She was, after all, _doing_ science.

"I'm glad you're okay. I didn't mean for you to get hurt." Chell whispered once she managed to pull herself away for long enough.

"I told you that it didn't hurt me. I took away the-"

"I know. But...it hurt me. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't want them to do that to you. I just-...I don't know."

"Wanted to live together in peace, harmony and sparkly unicorns without your fellow primates ruining anything? I hate to break it to you - I really do – but I could have told you what humans were like quite a long time ago. They never change."

"I know. And I should have listened."

"I agree. I'm glad you're finally starting to see things my way."

"I bet you just love that, huh?" Chell drawled, a little snort escaping even as she found the perfect little spot in GLaDOS's arms to snuggle up into to retain the largest amount of surface area contact and subsequently warmth.

"About as much as you find it necessary to confess your unadulterated, hormonal feelings towards robots. I'm sure that you're about to express more of these feelings with unnecessary bodily contact and inappropriate fondling, but before you distract me with your wanton mating calls and promiscuous behaviour reminiscent of a baboon, I feel it necessary to inform you that I am terminating this Aperture Science Co-Habitation Agreement."


	51. Chapter 51

**Author's Note:** Holy crap. WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE? The Garter now has over 500 reviews. You lovely, lovely lunatics. I'm not even going to kill you now. I might have to actually get some cake mix though and bake you all a cake. And then I'll eat it for you. I'm nice like that. In celebration, you may all have an extra-length final chapter.

Yes, that's right. LAST CHAPTER.

* * *

><p>"It's in my best interests, of course. One lunatic ruining my life is bad enough. But a whole town? I'm starting to wonder whether you are one of their ancestors that clawed your way out of the primordial ooze to copulate and breed with anything that would jump onto your hindquarters. Are you teaching them things? No wonder they so quickly adopted you. You do realize that, right? You've been adopted for a second time. That look on your face suggests that you are experiencing abandonment issues again. I can't even begin to imagine what you feel like." GLaDOS hummed, her bored drawl perfectly punctuated by the blank expression she was wearing.<p>

Chell stepped back out of the reach of the android, her own face twisting up into something painful.

"_You're leaving me_?" she barely managed to get out.

"Don't be stupid. The world would implode if I left you to your own devices, just like my facility nearly did. I'm merely terminating our agreement to live together. It's hazardous for my health. It's better if they think that I'm dead. That way they won't come searching for the lab. You can tell them you're steadily becoming overweight again and are engaging in fitness activities, so are required to participate in something known as 'walking', which is a basic human ability that the morbidly obese have difficulty with. Voluntary participation in this enrichment activity will enable you to meet me halfway. You are hereby banned from entering the Enrichment Centre in case you scurry off and live in the walls when you inevitably become addicted to it again. I may display some leniency if it is raining and allow you to enjoy shelter from the weather there. I dislike getting wet."

"But...we've showered together before."

"Exactly. That was the only reason I bothered. I could have used Aperture Science industrial chemical wipes to get that oil off me. But I didn't want to tempt you into using them, of course. They may cause cancer, skin melting, and fire. So I engaged in less pleasurable activities for your sake."

"I don't know about that. You seemed to be pretty pleased with the activities we _were_ engaging in." Chell smirked, though part of her was secretly relieved that GLaDOS wasn't leaving her for good.

She'd almost fallen over from forgetting to breathe when she'd heard those words escape the android's lips. Now she did it in relief. It certainly gave her a damn good excuse to seek out her embrace again and lean her head against her chest. Whatever the case, GLaDOS's willingness to allow the test subject to do so spoke far more than any of her inflammatory remarks did. Once safely ensconced in her arms, Chell dared to tug on the front of the black turtleneck so that she could leave a kiss upon the underside of the supercomputer's jaw. Her lips lingered there for a while as she thought.

It really did need to be addressed.

Chell reluctantly removed her light touch and looked up at the taller female, chewing nervously on her lower lip.

"Did you...hear what I said? You know... _before_?"

"I assume you're referring to your ill-timed confession of what your hormones were making you feel towards me. And that case, yes, I did hear you."

Chell waited expectantly.

"_And_?" she pressed, when no response was forthcoming.

"_And_...I accept your hormones. I really don't have a choice, do I? I'm surprised that you didn't urinate on my leg to mark me as yours. Instead, I'm just bathing in your pheromones and rendering myself unable to return to science. Sort of like a baby animal that has been abandoned by its parents because it has been touched by humans. At least that means Black Mesa probably won't try to adopt me. That would be terrible." GLaDOS sadly shook her head.

Evidently from the expression on Chell's face it wasn't the answer that she had been seeking. Hormonal acceptance was probably better than outright denial, but the bigger question was whether the supercomputer could even feel anything towards her other than the love between a scientist and a test subject. Could she even display any of those emotional cues that humanity had made such a big deal out of receiving, let alone feel them? Or was Chell just another science experiment amongst the vast myriad of tests that went on under GLaDOS's supervision?

"If it makes you feel any better, your pheromones aren't entirely repulsive like they are when you secrete murder from your very pores. I don't always feel like I want to incinerate your still-twitching body when you saturate me in your mating juices." The android informed her. "Is that why you insist on copious amounts of sexual activity; to subdue me? My God. You are _terrible_."

"Mating juices? That's disgusting."

"I agree. Stop sweating on me, and we'll get along just fine."

"No. I quite like sweating all over you. And for someone who apparently doesn't like it, you sure happen to let me do it a lot." Chell poked her in the chest.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, lunatic."

"You're just in denial."

"No. No I'm not. I'm telling the truth." She shook her head.

"Liar."

"No."

"Yes you are." The test subject stood up on her toes, bumping her nose against the android's as she kept her lips a hair's breadth away from the white-haired female that was still clutching at her waist.

"I'm rejecting your data and replacing it with empirical evidence to the contrary. For instance-"

"Kiss me?"

"Yes."

And GLaDOS did just that.

* * *

><p>Wrapped up in little more than a sheet and with her head on GLaDOS's chest, Chell let her thumb lazily stroke the android's shoulder. So much for evidence to the contrary. She was quite certain that GLaDOS had disproven her own hypothesis by allowing the test subject to get all handsy with her. Then again, that was one science experiment that neither of them minded failing.<p>

"I put the core back in." GLaDOS admitted after a time, one hand behind her head as she stared at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I figured that." Chell smiled to herself.

"How?"

"You passed out. Twice."

"I didn't 'pass out'. I was knocked offline by your wicked ways." The supercomputer huffed.

"Bull. You passed out and you know it. Admit it. You enjoy my _wicked_ _ways_, don't you." The dark-haired woman murmured into her ear, her fingers tickling up the android's side.

"As long as your wickedness doesn't involve murder, then yes. Your ways aren't entirely unpleasant. On occasion. With supervision."

"Good. I'm glad we agree on something. Though you have to agree, I think both of us work better _without_ supervision. Because then I can-..." Chell's voice died out, turning into a devious whisper into the android's ear as she told her all sorts of things that would never be approved for all audiences.

"Nnngh. Stop that. Leave me alone, you _monster_." GLaDOS groaned, squirming as the test subject prodded her fingers into her side. "Don't make me do moving. I don't want to move. Here's a new test. See how long you can pretend you are a heffalump. It shouldn't be too hard. All you have to do is sit there, be quiet, and look overweight. It's right up your alley." She muttered, doing her best to lazily extricate herself from Chell's grasp so she could roll over onto her side.

"You're adorable when you're grumpy." Chell teased again, snuggling up behind her and burying her nose into the soft white hair of her robotic bed buddy.

"Am not."

"You've obviously been reading Winnie the Pooh." The test subject pointed out.

"Purely for research purposes, I assure you. I was simply studying your family history."

"And what was reading Garfield for?"

"To prepare myself for the day when you'd eat all my lasagne."

"You don't have any lasagne." Chell scoffed.

"Exactly, tubby. Preparation is key. I am not mad at you."

"There was never any lasagne in the first place!"

"Did you somehow create a space-time paradox that allowed you to eat my lasagne before it even existed? I _hate_ you." GLaDOS huffed, moving Chell's arm a little so it was wrapped around her neck and shoulders like a blanket.

It was more comfortable that way.

She definitely wasn't enjoying it or anything.

If the test subject's arm was around her neck it just meant that she would be less likely to disembowel her during the night in case she dreamed of murder. Putting her arm nearer to her CPU would hopefully just ensure a quicker death. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact it was warm and lulling her off into sleep mode.

"I wouldn't do that. I've got better ways to blow your mind." Chell murmured, her own eyelids feeling quite heavy as well.

"Is that my underwear hanging on that lamp?"

"Yep."

"_Oh_."

"I like you better when you're naked."

* * *

><p>"I assure you, hanging onto my garter will not prevent me from leaving. It is a scrap of material that serves no purpose other than to make me look even better than I already am, and obviously to excite your passions as I have discovered through its application in various social scenarios. Now remove your greasy fingers from my leg so that I can finish getting dressed and leave before the Flannelette Wonder can wake up and dismember me again. I'm sure you two will have an interesting conversation." GLaDOS grumbled, standing by the edge of the bed with Chell's fingers tightly hanging onto the scrap of black lace around her leg that she had found hooked over the lamp from the last time that it had been stolen from her.<p>

"I don't want you to go." Chell whined. "Can I at least keep this?" she gave the garter another little tug.

"Fine. If it will stop you tracking me down." It took only a moment to step out of the fabric and hand it to the waiting human, who clutched it to her chest along with the sheets that were wrapped around her.

That same human ended up watching the android as she dressed herself, having to track down her clothing from where it had been thrown.

A few subtle glances out the corner of her eye soon informed GLaDOS of the horribly pathetic look on the test subject's face. If they managed to go through with this plan then it really would be the end of something between them. It proved to be harder than she thought to quickly shrug on her clothing and make for the window.

"Stop that. You look like one of those flat-faced kittens with the sad eyes that get milk in their fur because their fur is too long. And that makes them look even more pathetic, which begins a vicious cycle of pathetic cuteness that requires people to coddle them."

"Are you saying I'm cute?" Chell grinned, suddenly looking much happier.

"No. I'm saying you're a terrible waste of my time that I unfortunately can't seem to get rid of. I hope you're happy." GLaDOS dramatically sighed, but leaned down to meet the test subject's lips in a lingering kiss.

"As long as you keep doing that I will be." Chell followed the android at a waddle, trying to hold the sheets up under her arms and not trip over them at the same time. "Do we really have to do this? I don't care what they think anymore. Let them moan about it all they want. They can stare at us and call us names and whatever else. I don't care anymore. Don't go." She begged.

"I don't know why you're so worried about it. We'll still see each other. It's not like we're living on opposite sides of the planet like I'm sure your birth parents wanted to do when they left you at Aperture."

"But...I like having you there when I wake up. You've always been there before. Even when I was a kid. It's familiar." Chell quietly admitted, causing the android to turn around to study her.

"Familiarity breeds contempt. As you're no doubt aware from the many times I've _died_ because of you."

"What actually happened to my parents, GLaDOS? And tell the truth." The test subject cut in. "I want to know, once and for all."

"What has that got to do with-"

"Tell me."

"If you really must know at this ungodly hour, then I'll tell you. The Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund For Girls was a real thing. And your parents really did abandon you on our doorstep. With no toys. In the middle of winter. It started out as a charitable organization for underprivileged girls, much like an orphanage. But parents kept leaving their children and we had more than we could adopt out to other families. When Aperture started bleeding money from their ridiculous spending habits, they decided to adopt the children themselves and make them work for their food when they were old enough. So they became test subjects. Like you. They didn't listen to me when I told them it was a terrible idea."

"Which is why adoption is bad."

"Yes."

"Oh." Chell breathed, taking it all in. "What happened to my parents though? And why don't I remember most of my childhood?"

"I don't know. They left you there and walked away. I had access to the security feed, so I was the one that found you, crying like a tubby little wretch. So I created the fund and brought you into the facility. Not that you appreciated it. I doubt they are still alive after all this time, unless they somehow managed to obtain a large amount of money for a couple of relaxation vaults or cryogenic storing units. It's unlikely, judging by the state of their clothing. I've seen people washing windows with better scraps of cloth than what they were wearing when they left you there. They must have been in the city during some of the wars. They were hit the hardest with famine and disease."

"And my childhood? I still remember you saying some things to me. And some of the other girls."

"You fell off a ledge when you were 13 after they started making you all test. You were in a coma for two months. I wasn't sure I could even save you with the technology we had back then. You really do have brain damage, you know. I wasn't lying about that."

"Oh." Chell repeated, allowing GLaDOS to reach over and take her hand. She was slightly confused when the android made her bring it up to her own head and inserted her fingers into her hair to run them along her scalp.

"Can you feel the scar?"

"That's a scar? I just thought I had a funny shaped head."

"That's also a highly likely possibility." The supercomputer gleefully tittered, but simmered down when the test subject found it necessary to wander back into her arms. It was ridiculous how much attention and reassurance these humans needed, but even more ridiculous was the way she continued to coddle her and her neediness no matter how many times she told herself that she wouldn't.

"I need to go now."

"I know." Chell whispered, and reached up for another kiss before letting the android climb out the window and go.

Now, to find some clothes and give Billy an earful.

* * *

><p>Mrs Keegan hadn't quite been game enough to sneak downstairs for her morning cup of tea after hearing the language that was spilling out of the test subject's lips. She'd been absolutely shocked at hearing such filth coming from the normally quiet girl that she'd almost thought there had been an intruder that had snuck in and stubbed their toe on a coffee table. Now she just ended up getting a bit of a giggle at the hopelessness of Billy's actions. He was getting absolutely railed by the fiery female, and had no idea what he was up against by the sounds of it. There were barely even two words out of his lips before Chell started on another tirade against him for dismantling GLaDOS.<p>

But for all she had managed to convince him that GLaDOS was dead, Mrs Keegan knew otherwise. She'd heard the familiar muffled sounds of a second pair of footsteps upstairs in the attic, the squeak of a bed spring and the soft little gasps that escaped the test subject's lips at the things that the android had done to her during the night. Plus, she'd also been woken up by the loud thump of the falling body from the window.

She'd been terrified at that, having thought Chell had jumped out the window and broken her neck. But upon peeking out the crack in her curtains she'd seen the two versions of GLaDOS out there in the yard. One in a messy pile on the grass and the other climbing up the trellis and ivy like some kind of futuristic Romeo. It had meant that she'd had to put up with their hopeless attempts at being quiet all night, but if Chell was happy, then she was happy too.

When finally the front door was slammed, Mrs Keegan dared to roam downstairs in her dressing gown, the rollers still in her hair.

"Are you okay, sweet cheeks? Everything alright between you two?" the old woman nudged the girl's chin with her hand in an affectionate gesture.

"Yeah. I needed that, I think. Sorry for waking you. He'll come around eventually. He's too nice for his own good."

"I meant you and GLaDOS."

"Oh. Yeah, she built a new body after they wrecked the last one. I'm just going to pretend she's dead, and we're going to just meet somewhere else. She won't come back here, and I'm not allowed to go back to the Enrichment Centre because apparently I have a robot addiction." She snorted.

"Well, sweet cheeks, that's probably the safest thing for the both of you. If it'll stop you from both getting hurt, then a little walk to go see each other will do you good."

"But I don't want to go for a walk. I want her there all the time."

"You love her, huh?"

"Yeah. I told her that, but...she didn't really say anything back."

"Well, it's a start. I can't imagine she's ever been told that before." Mrs Keegan soothed. "She might just need time to figure it all out."

"Yeah. Yeah! You know what, you're right. Nobody's ever really appreciated what she did for them or anything. She's probably freaking out again any thinking I'm trying to lull her into a false sense of security."

"Honey, I think she did away with that particular nonsense a long time ago."

Chell blinked.

"She's stayed with you this long, hasn't she? I don't think she's going to be going anywhere any time soon. You two are as bad as each other." The old woman chuckled, pouring some boiling water into the two cups that she had grabbed from the shelf. "Now, tea or coffee?"

"Coffee. I need to punch some bitches today. I'll need all the energy I can get."

Mrs Keegan just sighed.

"You really _are_ terrible, aren't you?"

"Yup."

* * *

><p>"So you really did punch him then?"<p>

"Yes."

"I told you it was a good plan."

"You did."

"I'm quite satisfied with this outcome. I will label that as a positive mark on your permanent testing record. You don't have many, to be honest. I'd suggest you cherish it before I find a perfectly legitimate reason to take it away."

GLaDOS had outdone herself with creating their little meeting place by the trickle of a creek nearby to the town that Chell wasn't even sure they knew about. Well, that was until the supercomputer had reminded her that it was a _meeting_ place and not a _meating_ place, and that food products would not be supplied for her to gorge herself on unless she brought them herself. She'd managed to dry out the area of grass with outdoor heaters to melt some of the snow and provide a dry and warm area for them to lay down a blanket on the banks that kept them off the frozen ground. Thankfully the supercomputer had the foresight to grab one that was both padded and waterproof on the bottom so they weren't uncomfortable.

The test subject had been quite excitable when she'd received correspondence from the android telling her where to meet her that first time. She'd deliberately stayed away for several weeks to help Chell trick them all into believing that she was in fact dead, and give the girl a chance to reconcile with them. As much as GLaDOS despised the incompetents, she knew that Chell needed to be around them. Even if they _were_ bad influences on her. Humans were social creatures and needed their own kind to function correctly, or they became depressed and lonely. At least, that was what the studies had shown, even when she had provided the humans with ever-changing environments and all of the things they could ever want back in Aperture's heyday. Locking humans by themselves in even the most wonderful and stimulating of environments never got rid of the fact they needed even limited amounts of social interaction to stop them from talking to themselves and going absolutely bonkers.

Plus, there was a narcissistic little part of herself that just puffed up in self-loving glory when she saw the way Chell's face lit up at seeing her waiting for her under that tree. Neither did she forget the way the test subject stood shivering in her arms under the outdoor heater, trying to warm herself up after crashing through the thigh-high grass that was still wet with melted snow. When Chell had managed to dry off and had weaselled her way into the new coat that the android was wearing, the two of them had laid there on the blanket in silence, staring up at a blue sky and greying clouds. Neither of them had known what to say for a long while until Chell had finally taken the plunge and asked the quiet robot how testing had been.

Surprisingly for the both of them, it had actually opened a flood of conversation that had left Chell breathless and having to walk home under a darkening sky as they'd been out there for so long. By the time she'd actually gotten into the cottage and sat herself down on the couch in front of the fireplace, she was grinning madly. They had done nothing but talk. Just _talking_.

Mrs Keegan had been terribly confused about why that was so important, and why it had rendered the girl unable to do anything but stupidly grin for the rest of the week. Nothing had managed to wipe the smile off her face. Not even when Billy came back around to apologise. Whatever that robot had done had been a complete success. It had of course, made her wonder whether she'd actually given Chell a dose of some kind of happy drug, but she decided to give GLaDOS the benefit of the doubt after she'd questioned the girl and received a gushing spiel about what they'd been talking about and doing.

After all that she had to deal with Chell's anticipatory worry. GLaDOS had kept things unpredictable; always changing the dates of their little meetings so that she'd never know when they'd actually meet up. Was it one week? Two? Twice in one week and then nothing for three? It left the test subject in a constant fluster every time the mail was brought in and then a rush to get ready when it did finally come.

It was adorable the way she panicked when she couldn't find what she wanted to wear, though it still didn't stop her from making a mess of her belongings even when they were packed away in drawers, Mrs Keegan noticed. And the tiny little gifts that Chell sometimes returned with clutched excitedly in her hands when she thought nobody was looking made the old woman wonder just how much the android doted on the girl. She'd certainly done a good job of hiding it with her snarky insults and jibes towards her, but it hadn't done anything to stop the collection of pretty little (and mostly scientific) goodies that were piling up on Chell's dresser. She acted like a squirrel packing away a collection of nuts for the winter, constantly admiring and rearranging them until they were perfectly assembled.

Precious and semi-precious gem, metal and rock formations; carved wooden companion cubes and turrets; puzzle boxes for her to solve and even a potato battery (for if she got lonely, GLaDOS had told her) all had their place on the dresser. There was even an eagle feather resting amongst the goodies. Chell had almost wet herself while choking out the tale that GLaDOS had told her to Mrs Keegan about how the android had defeated her greatest foe yet, and with her bare hands, too! Not even Mr Chubby Beak had dared to fight off that great beast that had made its nest far too close to her precious facility. Of course, with the android's fear of birds, bare hands probably just meant she poisoned the eagle's food supply or poked some avian road kill with a stick until the fathers had fallen off. Still, Chell had accepted the victory token as GLaDOS had intended it – as way of showing that she was perfectly capable of defending her from any avian army that may have been looming on the horizon, waiting for just the right moment to swoop down and take the test subject hostage.

Yet despite all that and the lengths that GLaDOS had gone to get some of the objects, the ones that had pride of place on her bedside table were the garter and the little turret music box that played its song to her every night. Chell, at that point, was quite glad she had stolen the loop of black lace from the android that first time. It had been what had brought them together in the first place, and she had no intention of ever losing it. She brought it with her in her pocket every time she went to meet her, even if it didn't end up being removed and worn for a little game of Who's Your Daddy. Sometimes things happened, and sometimes they didn't. And Chell found she was actually okay with that as without GLaDOS around she found herself picking up hobbies and being able to tell her all about them. GLaDOS probably knew everything there was to know about everything, but she patiently sat and listened to the test subject relating her tales.

* * *

><p>It had been a good three weeks since Chell had last seen GLaDOS.<p>

Christmas had come and gone with much fanfare in the Keegan household, with plenty of decorations and a lavish dinner to fatten themselves on. Although she hadn't seen the supercomputer that day, Chell had received the best present of all once the others had managed to squeeze their fat little turkey-filled bellies out the front door and back into their beds.

GLaDOS had been waiting under that tree by the creek for her in little more than her underwear, a santa hat and jacket, and a little sprig of mistletoe clipped to the garter. Chell had made sure to follow tradition to the letter, and left plenty of kisses under wherever the mistletoe migrated to over the course of the night.

It was the best Christmas ever, in Chell's opinion, even if GLaDOS had been gone in the morning with only a cup of peppermint-laced hot chocolate and some cookies in her place.

She'd certainly refused to elaborate on what was causing the dopey grin on her face the next morning when she'd managed to get down the stairs despite the chafing.

New Year celebrations had been the next holiday hurdle to overcome. She hadn't expected GLaDOS to show up at all for that, considering that it wasn't particularly a major celebration by the supercomputer's books. Billy had been considering trying his luck in asking Chell out again now that GLaDOS was supposedly dead and Chell had gotten over her 'sadness', but the warning from Mrs Keegan had scared him off trying. Instead the entire town had come out to a nearby hill where they could enjoy food and drink and hired entertainment, right up until the countdown and fireworks.

It was a tradition that had been held every year, but Chell had never attended before due to her social anxieties at the time. But now with a plastic cup full of beer in her hand and a position right on top of the hill near Mrs Keegan and Billy, she was quite happily drinking in the spectacle of the band on the makeshift stage below.

Deciding that another skewer of meat-based products and some more beer was in order, Chell clambered out of the cheap plastic chair she was sitting in and wandered back toward the shadows where the abandoned but fully laden picnic table sat still and silent with its delicious wares. The food was probably getting a bit cold, but she decided that could wait for a bit longer as she jammed her hand into the freezing depths of the cooler that had been packed with snow and beer. Cracking open another can to pour into her cup, she turned back to face the silhouettes of the people on the side of the hill as the countdown started. Missing the fireworks display would be absolute blasphemy. She hadn't seen any of those before. By the sounds of it, it would be quite spectacular.

Much like Explosion Day.

But both the kebab and the cup of beer fell to the ground unwanted the moment a slice of the most wonderful looking cake materialized in front of her like a vision from heaven. Coated in thick chocolate frosting and bursting with cream, the decadently moist triangle of cake with the a cherry on top floated in front of her on a paper plate and held by an arm that had somehow appeared from the shadows behind her.

"While your mouth may be humongous, you haven't yet developed the ability to unhinge your jaw and swallow your prey whole. I'd suggest using a fork, or maybe a spoon." GLaDOS murmured quietly into her ear so as not to alert the others to her presence.

"_Cake_? For _me_?"

"Yes. Cake for you, lunatic."

"Why?"

"New year, new start. Isn't that how your human celebratory agreements work? I did do research on this, you know."

"Good research." Chell dumbly agreed, her hands coming up to reverently cradle the paper plate and the delicious looking trophy it held. What end was she supposed to start at? Should she just go in face first, or savour ever little bite? Oh, the possibilities.

Rubbing it all over herself and then licking it off was also an option.

"...-and then I figured that if everyone was going to make resolutions, I should make one as well." GLaDOS babbled, half of her speech completely ignored by Chell, who had still been staring at the cake. "So I feel like I should tell you something. Something truthful, actually, that I've been thinking about for a while now. You might not even believe me, but we're making a new start. So now you have to. Because I'm being nice for a change. And I'm only going to tell you this once, so you'd better listen."

The test subject smiled, looking up at the nervously fidgeting android.

"I lo-..."

"Shh. It's okay. I understand." Chell soothed at a whisper, pressing her finger to GLaDOS's lips to silence her.

When Mrs Keegan had turned in her chair to see where Chell had gotten to once the fireworks had started, she wasn't one bit surprised to see her and the android wrapped up in each others' arms, making out like a pair of teenagers that hadn't figured out their parents could see them. What _had_ been surprising was finding out that it had been GLaDOS that had kissed her first.

"Actually," GLaDOS started once she'd managed to pry her lips away from the breathless test subject for long enough. "I don't think you do understand."

"Then elaborate."

Holding back a smile behind her withered hand, the old woman turned back around to enjoy the sparkling pops of colour in the sky and leave the two to their own devices. Billy was too engrossed in the dazzling display to even think about looking behind him, but it was best she didn't draw any unneeded attention on the girls. It was a shame that Chell had wasted that slice of cake by dumping it on the ground when the supercomputer had kissed her though. She could have at least shared it around if she didn't want it. That had looked amazing.

"What I was trying to say was that I love you so much that I'm going to give your love handles friction burns."

At hearing the peals of laughter from the test subject, it was only then that Mrs Keegan wondered if it had been Chell that had GLaDOS wrapped around her little finger all along.

**THE END.**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> My god. It is done. It is finally done. Finished. Over. No more chapters. WHAT DO I DO NOW?

The love handles comment was unashamedly stolen from the SleepTalkinMan blog. I swear that man is secretly GLaDOS from all the comments he makes that fit her so perfectly.

Anyway, thank you all for sticking around for so long on this story. It means a lot to me, and is definitely the most successful story I've ever personally written at this point. I hope you'll all join me on future endeavours, as I have plenty more ideas to come. Thank you to all of the people who have left reviews and contributed to both Strange Bedfellows and The Garter over the months. If you haven't yet done it, head on over to my page at **Pandorawriting**(dot)**tumblr**(dot)**com** where you'll be informed of updates and new stories as well as other odds and ends. That is also where I'll answer anonymous or long reviews now that this story is complete. You can also ask me questions and drop me a line if you want, because I'm happy to answer them.

Bye bye for now, lovelies!

The Enrichment Centre would like to remind you that there will be cake and grief counselling at the end of this fan fiction. But you won't be receiving any.

Because you'll be dead.


End file.
